Agent 00hot
by maxandmo
Summary: Edward, is a hot F.B.I. Agent who is immediately drawn to Bella, the Parole Officer, who happens to be a magnet for ridiculous situations. Rated M for bad words and lemons. AH/Canon pairings.
1. Agent 00hot

**This is my first attempt at fanfic. Usually I am sucked into reading them, but at the moment none of my stories have been updated! Hope you like it:)**

**Thanks to my beta, secretobsession7, for cleaning up my mess;)**

**~Chapter 1~Agent 00hot~**

** ~Bella~**

Are you frigging kidding me? Why didn't anyone tell me he was this hot? All these months I heard about Edward Cullen, the one who had moved on to the F.B.I., and not once did these morons mention that their old friend was a total hottie. I was trying to play this cool, but I couldn't help but sneak glances at this green-eyed God with the best hair I had ever seen.

I was so happy the guys at work had convinced me to go out with them tonight. I was usually content to sit home and read...I know, boring...but I had a really shitty week at work and needed to vent with my co-workers. After all, I was only twenty-four. I guess it wouldn't kill me to hang out with other people once in a very great while.

Snapping me right out of my reverie, was the most velvety voice that said, "Hey beautiful girl, what would you like to drink?"

And wait, did he just call plain ole me _beautiful girl? _I am plain jane Bella Swan, maybe he had gotten a few drinks for himself first!

"I'll take a vodka cran with a lime please." Shit, shit, shit, my voice raised higher than normal at the end of my sentence, which typically attracts small dogs and makes me sound like an old lady. Okay, I seriously need to gain some composure if I want to have even a little bit of a good time tonight. I came out to blow off steam, not get even more stressed out.

"Hey Bella, tell Edward about the time you took out that parolee in the lobby for showing up late."

Just then I could have killed Mike Newton. The fucker always found a way to put me in the spotlight. I HATE the spotlight! All I could do was mumble and turn bright red. I couldn't even begin to figure out how to muster a response, when thank the Lord, Jessica called to me from across the bar. I have never been so happy to hear Jessica Stanley call my name in my entire life. I excused myself and practically ran, more like fast walked, over to where she was sitting.

Jessica and I went to high school together. Though we weren't particularly close, we were friendly when we saw each other.

"Hey Jess," I said, rather excitedly. "How's it going?"

"Things are pretty good, Bella. I just landed a pretty good gig as an office manger at Black, and Clearwater. The pay is okay, I get to work downtown, and hopefully I'll get to meet a hot lawyer."

"Good for you, Jess. That is like the biggest law firm in Seattle."

"Well, it didn't hurt that my dad knew someone, who knew someone, well you get the picture. I nailed the interview, and they offered me the job. Um, Bella, there is a very hot guy with fucked up hair trying to get your attention."

As I turned to look, Edward was in-fact staring at me, holding a pink drink in his hand, and yes, his hair was indeed fucked up.

**~Edward~**

When Emmett called me to go out I almost choked on my Red Bull. Since that pussy whipped bastard never made it out, I was definitely going to join him for a few beers. Tanya was out of town visiting her parents, so I had a hall pass too. Let's face it, I really didn't give two shits what she would have said anyways.

We had been together for a little more than a year. Things were definitely on the downward spiral, but I was used to the constant piece of ass, and was scared shitless to just end it. Tanya was cool enough to hang out with, I just couldn't imagine us going any further. I also couldn't imagine telling her she had to move out of my condo. Not that I ever actually asked her to move in, but that's another story.

Emmett had just gotten a job as a parole officer for the State of Washington. I used to work there until I got my current job at the F.B.I. almost six months ago. It figured that just when my good friend was about to start the job, I got a new one.

We were meeting at an outdoor bar in downtown Seattle. It was surprisingly nice out and not fucking raining, so the whole city was probably going to be there. I didn't love crowds, but I did love Emmett like a brother.

I picked out my new True Religion jeans with a green Affliction t-shirt that brought out the color of my eyes. I am not going to lie, I am one vain motherfucker. Did I mention that the shirt shows off the bottom of my tat? I threw on my doc martens, ran my fingers through my ever unruly hair, and was on my way. I jumped on my Harley and proceeded to make my way downtown. Yes, I have a Harley in a city where it rains most of the time, but the times it is nice out make it _so_ worth it. I love my Road King almost as much as I love my Volvo. It may not make sense, but it is what it is.

I rode up to The Volturi, and paid the guy at the door twenty bucks to keep an eye on my bike. I flashed my badge, and he let me in without having to wait in the line that wrapped around the building. I spotted Emmett at the bar and made my way over to him. We did the awkward guy hug thing and he handed me a beer.

"Hey Em, you're looking good!" He looked lean and less sloppy than the last time I had seen him. "The eight weeks at P.O. School really helped your lazy ass!"

"So you are _The Edward Cullen?" _came a loud annoying voice from behind me. "Hey, dude, Emmett has been going on and on about you since the day we met. I almost thought you two were lovers!"

This obnoxious fucker was named Mike Newton, and he was giggling at his lame attempt at a joke.

"Mr. F.B.I., too good to stick with us state workers. What do you make like $65,000? Big deal. I'll get there some day."

Didn't this douche bag know when to shut the hell up? And for his information, I was making way more than that.

Emmett could see that old Mikey poo was getting under my skin, so he proceeded to introduce me to a dude named Jasper. Apparently, that's not such an odd name in Texas where he was from. I was happy to see Ben and Tyler, who I knew from when I worked there, and was relieved to see that they were rolling their eyes at Newton. I looked behind Mikey and noticed a petite girl stuck sort of behind him. He was acting like such a jackass, he didn't even realize she was trying to get out from behind him. I figured it must be his girlfriend, and she must be used to it by now.

Emmett looked over to where I was staring and took a deep breath. " Newton, move out of the fucking way. I'm sure Bella is over being crushed behind you."

He moved out of her way, and was more than happy to assist her in moving in front of him. For some reason she looked disgusted to have him touching her. She swatted his hand away from her, and if looks could kill, he would have been one dead bastard.

She had great hair; curly, brown, and long. I couldn't see the rest of her since she was using it to shield her face.

"Edward, this is Bella. She works with us," Emmett said, nonchalantly.

As she looked up I noticed her cheeks were flushed pink, she was chewing on her bottom lip, and she had the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. She sort of nodded hello and seemed super nervous and fidgety. I guess being in close proximity to Newton could do that to a girl. It was my turn to buy a round, so I ordered the guys beers and looked over to Bella.

"Hey beautiful girl, what would you like to drink?"

W.T.F.! I am Edward Cullen, a trained F.B. fucking I. investigator. Beautiful girl? I felt like I was in college trying to be smooth in order to get laid. She answered me in what started out to be a normalish girl voice, and ended up with a high pitched squeak. I could not imagine this girl being a parole officer. A kindergarten teacher maybe, but a P.O.?

Newton then started talking about her taking someone down, and she looked horrified. Just then a girl with funny teeth and big tits called to her from across the bar. She did an awkward shuffle run-walk thing and went over to talk to her. I felt uncomfortable for Bella and wanted to kick the shit out of Newton because of it. All I could do was run my hands through my hair repeatedly, and try to relax.

The drinks came, and I was stuck holding onto the pink thing in a fancy glass, trying not to look like a total homo in my $300 jeans. I wasn't sure if I should bring it over to her or not. I made eye contact with the girl she was talking to and pointed to beautiful...err...Bella. She turned around, and like a magnet, our eyes locked and remained that way.

**Let me know what you think so far! I'm maxandmo on Twitter.**


	2. Federale

**Since my kids are momentarily refraining from acting like WWE wrestlers, I am going to try and write out my next chapter! We'll see how long this lasts...**

**Thanks to my beta, secretobsession7, for cleaning up my mess!**

**These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**~Chapter 2~Federale~**

**~Bella~**

I felt like I was in a staring contest. I haven't been in one since I was a kid and never with a green-eyed God. I couldn't seem to pull my eyes from his. It was like we were magnets drawn to each other. Weird. Jessica had started to ramble on again, but I couldn't tell you what she was talking about.

_He_ was now starting to slowly make his way over to us, never breaking the stare. I felt myself start to blush and was hoping no one noticed. All of a sudden there was a panicked look on his face, and he grabbed his cell phone off of his belt. He stayed on the phone for just a minute and then ran his hands through his hair looking frustrated. He gave me a half wave and turned back towards the bar. I noticed him say something to Emmett and the next thing I knew he was gone. Emmett was holding onto my drink until Newton took it from him and started walking over to me.

"Bell-a-poo, here's your drink. Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" He had that familiarly annoying whine to his voice.

"Mike Newton, this is Jessica Stanley. We're friends from high school."

It was really grossing me out seeing Mike eye fuck Jessica while she was seeming to enjoy it. They started talking and it didn't look like they were going to stop there. I headed over to the rest of the guys, and I wanted to ask Emmett where Edward went, but I couldn't figure out how to sound nonchalant about it. I was hoping the guys would start talking about him, but instead the topic turned to kids, wives, and getting home before all hell broke loose. It was time to leave.

The Volturi was a great after work spot. It had super cheap happy hour deals and was pretty laid back. We never had to worry about waiting in line because we had badges. This was a job perk that Newton discovered within the first week.

Once happy hour was over the place turned into a rave on steroids. The lights went down and good looking people came out of the woodwork. The employees all wore these strange looking robes. It sort of added to the allure. The music was loud and the place was known to fly in guest DJ's. Tell me I wouldn't shit a brick if I got to see the girl who turned Lindsay Lohan! We always left right as the transformation was taking place.

We walked to our cars and I made sure my gun was still locked in the glove compartment. It made no sense to drive home with it in there. One never knows when they may get carjacked. It took about twenty minutes to get to my million year old, two bedroom apartment. I loved my apartment, but the parking was less than desirable. Especially on Friday nights! Not to mention, I super suck at parallel parking. Good thing I bought a small car. I was driving a Ford Escort Sport. The bitch even had a spoiler. It probably took me longer to park than it did to drive home.

I was hoping Alice was home. She was my roommate. We have been best friends since the eleventh grade. Where I am quiet, she is not. While I am laid back, she is excitable and overall cheerful. She was so in tune to my thought process, it was scary. She wanted to leave the small town of Forks, Washington after high school graduation. I wanted to go to college and she wanted beauty school. She wanted Seattle and I didn't care, so here we are.

"Alice, are you home?" I shouted, once I finally got the flipping door open.

"In here, Bells," she yelled from the back of the apartment.

I walked to the back of the apartment to her room. She was laying on her stomach on her bed flipping through Vogue. Her hair was black today with streaks of bright blue weaved through it. Alice worked at one of the high end hair salons in Seattle. I never knew what she would look like at any given time. I was envious because my boring ass hair was the same as it had been since grade school. I was all for no fuss, and it had to be long enough to pull back. Especially in this weather. The more it rained the bigger my hair got.

"Were you at work this late?" she asked.

"Nope, the guys from work and I went to The Volturi for happy hour."

"Bella, tell me you are joking! You went there dressed like that? What the hell were you thinking?" She was practically jumping out of her skin at the thought.

"Alice, we go there all the time. Quit ragging on my clothes. You know I have to dress this way. I have to keep my gun covered, and I refuse to wear nice stuff running around the ghetto all day." We had been over my work attire several times.

"Okay, so would it kill you to put on some make-up? Do you want to be single forever? You work with mostly guys right? Most of the girls there have girlfriends or look like boys. BELLA! Come on. You have the pick of the litter. Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to go to The Volturi? There you are _cutting in line_ in your cargo pants and polo shirt!"

_She just does not shut up; jumping from one topic to the next. Will it ever end? _

She was getting on my nerves, and the next thing I knew I had diarrhea of the mouth. "For your information little-Ms. Critical-but-is-still-single-herself, a very hot Federal Agent with crazy bronze colored hair and the brightest green eyes I have ever seen, bought me a drink and called me beautiful girl, and then he took off before giving it to me. I want to know where he went and what his story is, but I can't ask because he's Emmett's best friend. Em will know something is up, and I will feel desperate and pathetic all because a guy said something nice, which to a _normal_ person who isn't socially retarded, would be no big deal!" I let out a few long breaths in an attempt to calm myself and prepare for Alice's inquisition.

Surprisingly enough she just looked at me with a huge shit-eating grin on her pretty little face.

"Bella, my sweet friend, can you let me know the next time you plan to go out after work so I can get the night off and come and get me a federale?"

**Thanks for all of you who are giving this story a chance! I love reviews, and have responded to every one so far! maxandmo on Twitter.**


	3. SAC

**I cannot believe it, but I have somehow convinced my husband to go to a New Moon release party with me tomorrow night. Yahoo! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns these guys.**

**~Chapter 3~SAC  
**

**~~Edward~~**

I knew the second that the phone on my hip started to vibrate, my night was shot. I picked it up and heard the familiar five words that I have become accustomed to: "There's been a bank robbery." It was the agent on call letting me know that the Key Bank on 17th Street had been held up at gunpoint. I was only a few minutes drive away, and I told him I would see him shortly. Thankfully, I only had one beer. My limit was three when I was driving the Harley anyways. I took one last look at the beautiful girl and sort of waved. I handed her drink to Emmett and told him I needed to go.

I arrived at the scene a few minutes later. There were uniformed Police Officers surrounding the bank, and I quickly spotted the group of agents off to the side. Bank robbery was a federal crime because banks are insured by the federal deposit insurance corporation (F.D.I.C.), thus making it our problem.

I felt lucky to have gotten assigned to the bank robbery squad right out of the F.B.I. Academy. The trend was terrorism for obvious reasons, but I think my previous experience in law enforcement got me the spot in a criminal squad. The hours were often terrible, but I was more than happy to work them instead of sitting at a desk studying Arabic all day. I needed to be on the streets.

I met up with my guys and was brought up to speed. A man wearing a black hoodie went into the bank right before it closed. He walked up to the teller, showed her his gun, and demanded money. Fortunately, she manged to slip him a dye pack with some of the money. If we were lucky, it would explode all over the douche bag.

He made off with a few thousand dollars and no one was hurt. The teller would probably end up quitting her job and spend a ton on therapy, but it could have been worse. Agent Caius was interviewing her now. He was the most veteran agent on our squad and was your stereotypical no nonsense federal agent. He wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy, but I knew I could learn a lot from him.

"Hey Cullen, where the hell did you come from looking all fancy?" Agent Lutz yelled to me.

"I was meeting a few buddies from parole at The Volturi." I figured he had no idea where I was talking about since he was a total Bible banger and didn't drink, or go out.

"I heard that place had good happy hour specials and even better eye candy," said Agent Yorkie.

He was new to our squad and seemed like a pretty cool guy, except for the fact that he must shop at Sears, and get his hair cut with a bowl on the top of his head. I was trying to see past those things, but _fuck,_ I am a total metro-sexual and my hair takes me longer to do than most broads. Granted he was from somewhere in bumfuck Idaho, but still. I don't want to seem like a total chick, but I was going to have to give him a man-over if he was going to hang out with me.

As I thought about what he said, I honestly couldn't tell you if there were any other girls in the place. The only face that was stuck in my head belonged to Bella. Shit. This instant attraction wasn't something that I was used to. "Yorkie, you'll have to come with me sometime." _When I take you shopping and cut off your fucking hair._

Agent Caius appeared with the teller's statement. He wanted one of us to go with her to the local police precinct to get a sketch made and the rest of us were to canvas the area. Since I couldn't very well canvas the area on my Harley, I was the obvious choice for hanging at the police station with the victim. The only thing that sucked is that it could take forever for the sketch to be completed.

We liked the victims to do this right away while the details are still fresh in their heads. It was the little details that meant the most when it came to catching the bad guys. It was something they should teach in Criminal 101. Why in the hell would you get tattoos on your hands, face, or neck? I guess if most of them were that smart, then they would have other occupations.

The precinct was pretty dead. It was after 8pm on a Friday night, so the majority of the guys were on the streets. I was waiting in the lunch room when my phone vibrated with a text.

**SAC~ Where u at?**

It was from Emmett. He loved calling me SAC which stands for Special Agent Cullen. He thinks it is hilarious. I keep explaining to him that my boss is called S.A.C.(Special Agent in Charge) for real. It is so _not_ hilarious to call _him_ a sac.

**E.T.~ I am at the 3****rd**** precinct. Where u at?**

Emmett's middle name is Thomas. It's all I have, short of calling him a dickwad or something else as equally unoriginal.

**On my way home before Rosie kicks my ass.**

Emmett lives with his girlfriend of a million years, Rosalie Hale. They have a very passionate relationship, whether it's fighting or fucking. She keeps him in line, and he loves her dearly. Sometimes it makes me want to puke when I see just how pussy whipped he is. I am almost waiting to hear her say "Jump!" and him ask "How high?"

She is an aesthetician. A fancy name for someone who waxes eyebrows and gives facials. She works at the salon where I get my hair cut, and Emmett says she makes great money.

**Sucks I had to leave but a bank got hit. Next week?**

Rose just started working a little late on Fridays, so Emmett has a two-or-three hour window to hang out. As much as I loved to hang with Emmett, I really wanted to see Bella again. I wanted to ask Emmett about her, but I didn't know how to bring her up without making him suspicious.

**I'll have to check with Rose.**

_Pussy. _

I was usually free on the weekends. Tanya was a server at a fancy Italian restaurant and she made most of her money on Friday and Saturday nights. She was putting herself through nursing school, so I didn't charge her anything as far as bills went. Hence, the reason I didn't freak out too much when she moved in while I was at the academy. I wasn't that much of a dick. Our relationship is what I would describe as fine. No biggie. Not what I imagine for the rest of my life, but fine, nonetheless. Besides, we don't see each other all that much anymore anyways. We were roommates...with benefits...when our schedules permitted.

I made it home a couple of hours later. The temperature outside dropped, and I was so fucking cold, so I jumped into the shower. When my body was bright red and almost on fire, I got out, and walked into my bedroom. There were clothes thrown all over; purses, makeup and all kinds of other shit were laying all over the bed. I was instantly annoyed. I am anal as hell and Tanya knows this. She took off and left all of her shit all over _my_ room. I picked it all up and put it out of sight in the closet.

I threw on some boxers and laid down in my king size bed. I looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was not even midnight. I remember when I would be just getting to the bars at this time. I flipped on the elevator music channel and tried to relax. Every time I shut my eyes, I saw the beautiful girl.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and try to get rid of the anxious restless feelings that I had. I slipped my hand in my boxers and was already rock hard. I ran my hand down my shaft, slowly at first, and then faster. Not to toot my own horn, but I have a rather nice cock. Well, I guess I am doing some horn tooting. I let my mind drift completely to Bella, and before long, I was completely spent...and sticky.

That was the first night I had sex with the beautiful girl.

**Let me know what you think:)**


	4. Sanction

**Thanks for reading, and all of your awesome reviews! **

**Lotusblosm pre-reads and secretobsession7 is my awesome beta!**

**S. Meyer owns these guys. I just like to make them do other stuff.**

**~Chapter 4~**

**~~Bella~~**

I still couldn't believe, as I walked into my office, that I was a parole officer. I even had a sweet name plate on my door that said, **Officer Swan**. How frigging cool. I was used to hearing people address my father that way and now it was me. I knew when I went away to college that I wanted to do something in the law enforcement area. I'm a nosey little bitch, and now I get paid to be all up in peoples' business.

The biggest complaint from my co-workers was the amount of report writing there was. Seeing as my minor was in English, I was all about it. The job was Mon-Fri and the pay was pretty good. The greatest part of it was that I got to carry a gun and pepper spray, along with a wicked set of handcuffs.

The State of Washington was all about bending over backwards to help people, so the trend has shifted to less prison time and more counseling and rehab. It helps to be new at the job because the "old timers" are constantly pissy and always complaining. They love to talk about how things used to be and reminisce about the days when they could send these guys back to prison for jaywalking.

"Here you go Officer Swan," said my secretary Mandi. She was my godsend. I loved her and we became fast friends since I had started working here. She was my age and married to her high school sweetheart. She had a two year old daughter and a baby on the way. Yikes. I couldn't even take care of myself!

"Oh shitballs! Are you serious? It must have been a lame as hell weekend in Seattle. They had nothing to do but get into trouble. This many pages of arrests?" I looked at the seven pages that she handed me.

Usually there were about three pages full of names, not seven. We had to run every name through the computer and see if they were on parole. If they were, I had to find out who their officer was, and then notify them of the arrest. We rotated this duty throughout the office and this was my week. Monday was the worst day to have to do this because it included arrests from the entire weekend.

I got through the first three pages rather quickly. There were no parole arrests so far. Page four was a book and release, meaning they were already out of jail. I was through pages five and six with no problems until I got to page seven. Three parolees were arrested and two of them were still in the county jail. Thankfully none of them were under my supervision. That would have opened up a whole new can of pain in the ass.

The two offenders in jail belonged to Officer Uley. His office was only a couple down from mine and he was a really cool guy. I got up and walked down to his office, but he wasn't in there. I walked up to Irina, the receptionist, and asked her if she knew where he was. She said that he had court this morning. Shit. Even more work. Not that I minded working, but I preferred to do my own stuff. I dialed Sam Uley's number hoping he was able to answer.

"What's up Bella?" He answered his cell on the first ring in a sort of hushed, frantic whisper.

"Hey Sam. I know you're in court, but you have two arrests. James Gigandet was arrested Saturday for criminal damaging and Jane Fanning for Solicitation. What do you want me to do with them?" _Hoping for nothing. Hoping for nothing. _

"Fanning can be released, but Gigandet needs a written sanction and then released. Make up some stuff, but I've gotta go before Judge Aro comes back and catches me on the phone in his courtroom. Thanks. I'll see you later." He basically hung up on me, but I wouldn't want to be caught on the phone in Aro's courtroom either. That man was a crotchety prick.

Mondays sucked in general and now I had to make a trip to the jail. I usually had about a zillion voice-mails from angry girlfriends to crying mothers, with the occasional attorney thrown in for good measure. I would sometimes get someone saying, "It's me Ms. Swan, call me back." I had about 102 possible me's on my caseload at the moment, and these fuckers changed phone numbers like they changed baby's mamas.

I checked my email for anything pressing and then had to figure out what the hell to write on the sanction. A sanction was nothing more than a demerit for adults. If they got enough of them, then they got a detention in the jail. It took a few of those detentions to actually send the bastards back to the hokey.

I threw on the sweater that was always hanging in my office and headed across the street to the jail. I learned the _hard _way that the jail was kept pretty cold. I would never walk in there again only wearing a blouse, shirt, or any other article of clothing that would show exactly how cold it was in there.

I walked in, locked up my gun, and headed up to the 6th floor to see Gigandet. I had seen him before and he was one creepy guy. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but I know I was glad I didn't have to deal with him on a regular basis. There were tables set up in rows and it sort of looked like a school cafeteria. He walked up to the table I was sitting at and immediately got a smirk on his creepy face.

"To what do I owe this honor?"

"I'm Officer Swan. Officer Uley sent me here to give you this." I pushed the sanction over to him and asked if he had any questions. He read it over, signed it, and pushed it back to me. I put it back into the envelope and was getting ready to leave.

"I do have a question. Can you be my P.O.? You are mouthwatering, delicious looking," he said, and then winked at me.

_Yuk!_ "Uum no, but you can report to Officer Uley tomorrow morning at 9am." I got up to leave and bumped smack dab into something behind me.

I turned around and was face to face with the green-eyed God. Thank the Lord I was wearing my sweater. I felt a strange surge of electricity when our bodies met, and I'm sure the whole jail would have noticed my nipples cutting through my shirt.

"Hey Officer. Fancy meeting you here," he said, with his velvety, sweet voice.

"Hi Agent. Likewise," I muttered back. Oh my. He had on a navy blue suit with a green and blue tie that made his eyes stand out like crazy. He must have a personal shopper who picks shit out just for that reason.

"I'm headed downstairs. Are you done up here?" he asked.

"Yep. I was just giving the creepy guy a demerit," I said, with a smirk.

He chuckled and it was an amazing sound. We headed downstairs together. We both walked to the rows of lock boxes and retrieved our weapons. I couldn't help but notice how hot he looked holding his gun. My mind started to wander about another gun of his that I would like to hold..._sigh._ He pulled up his pants leg and secured his in an ankle holster. I secured mine at my hip. We stood there in an awkward silence and then he made small talk.

"Is Emmett in the office today?" he asked.

_Who cares about Emmett, you hot piece of Federal Agent ass. _"I'm not sure. I haven't seen him today."

"Well, tell him to give me a call if you do. It was good to see you again. Sorry I had to leave the other night. There was a bank robbery downtown, and I had to respond."

"Thanks for the drink. Hopefully next time the bank robbers can hold off at least long enough for you to have one with me." _Whoa. Where did I just get the set of balls? _

"Sounds like a plan to me." He smiled at me with the most uniquely crooked smile I had ever seen.

Just then my phone rang. It was Irina telling me that there was an offender waiting for me in the office. They always just randomly showed up. I hung up the phone and looked over to Edward. He was still smiling and staring at me.

"I have to go. One of _them_ is waiting for me at the office. See you later Edward."

I turned and walked across the street to my office and I could feel the burn of his stare the entire way.

I got back to the office and called the parolee into my office. He just stopped by to tell me he got a job at the local outdoor market. He starts tomorrow and wouldn't be able to report on his normal day. I logged it in my notes, wished him good luck, and sent him on his way.

I looked on my desk and saw a huge list of reports due for the week and learned that I had fourteen new voicemails and twenty-three emails. This day was starting to slip away from me. I started to dig through my case files and my stomach started to growl. I looked at the Mariners clock that I had in my office and was shocked to see that it was after one o'clock already.

"Hey, Bella. Thank you so much for helping me out today," Sam said, leaning against my office door.

"No problem. You owe me."

"Anything interesting happen in the jail?" he asked, while raising his eyebrow. He realized that James was creepy.

"James wants me to be his P.O. and told me I looked delicious," I giggled at how it sounded out loud.

"Do you want to trade me so he can be on your caseload?" Now he was cracking up.

"Hell to the no! That shithead is creepy and gets arrested like once a week. The reports you are writing because of him are causing a small forest to be demolished!" Those offenders were the worst, and I did not want him on my caseload.

"Can I have the sanction he signed so I can put it in his file?" he asked.

I looked around my desk and couldn't find it anywhere. Shit. Where in the sans hell did that go? I could not remember for the life of me if I even had it with me when I came up here from the jail. Damn green eyes had gotten me all flustered.

"Shit Sam. I left it downstairs. I'm about to go to lunch, so I'll bring it to you afterward. Do you want anything from Quil's deli?" I asked, while trying to rack my brain for where to even begin to look for the sanction.

"No thanks, Bella. Emily packed my lunch today." Emily was Sam's fiance for the past few years. I had never met her, but she seemed nice enough over the phone. He talked about her constantly and was obviously head over heels. She's a dog trainer for the K-9 officers of the Seattle Police Department.

I signed out with Irina and made my way through the lobby to the elevators. Our offices were located on the 10th floor of the state building. Some of my co-workers would take the stairs for exercise or even work out during their lunch hour. More like lunch 45 minutes. Even if we weren't keeping track, Irina would be. She was the eyes and ears of our office. Sometimes it was good, but other times it was not. She had been there longer than the office building, so basically no one fucked with her.

The elevator dinged and opened, and there standing in front of me, was Agent Cullen holding the sanction.

"I believe this belongs to you Officer."

**Please review. I need some love, and everyone around here is asleep!**


	5. The Pizza Virgin

**For some fucked up reason it is much easier for me to write from Edward's POV than Bella's. I am a girl and don't understand why this is. Naturally I think that my BPOV chapters suck balls but my EPOV ones are the bomb. I'm sure you'll let me know in your REVIEWS;) **

**Stephenie Meyer owns them. **

**Lotusblosm rocks, and secrestobsession7 is an awesome beta!**

**~Chapter 5~ The Pizza Virgin**

**~Edward~**

I thought when I saw the beautiful girl in the county jail that I was imagining it since I haven't been able to get her off of my mind since Friday night. I guess it wasn't such an unusual coincidence since there is only one county jail in downtown Seattle. I have to admit that watching her talk to a "bad guy" was making me feel very protective. Protective of something that wasn't even mine..._yet. _

I made my way over to the table behind her and sat down to interview a suspect in a robbery who had been arrested. He claimed to have information on the bank that got hit over the weekend and was looking to cut a deal by talking. When I explained to him that he had to give his info before we cut any kind of deal, he decided to mull it over some more. I got up to leave and bumped into what had to be the beautiful girl right behind me. I can't begin to explain the surge of electricity that I felt when our bodies came into contact. It was like static-electricity on some heavy-assed steroids.

I had always been pretty comfortable around women, to say the least. It's not that I wasn't comfortable around Bella, but I had never been so nervous, or at a loss for words before. There was so much I wanted...scratch that...needed to know about her, but short of coming off like a nosey stalker freak, I needed to play it cool. She seemed nervous as well, but I have to admit I found it hot when she asked me to have a drink with her. Okay, so maybe I was over thinking the hell out of this, but it was nice to know that I wasn't imagining the nervousness or the mutual attraction. Not to mention she carried a fucking gun...and...handcuffs.

As luck or circumstance would have it, I didn't need to muster up an excuse to see her again. I watched her walk to the state building and noticed an envelope fall out of her pants pocket. She had no idea either. I hoped it wasn't just a shopping list or some other bullshit she wouldn't need. I picked it up and saw that it was the signed sanction. BINGO. This was a valuable piece of paper and my ticket to Bella-dice.

I made my way up to the 10th floor, and as the elevator doors opened, there she was.

"I believe this belongs to you Officer," I said to her.

She was already blushing, but judging from the looks of her blouse, also pretty cold. I needed to focus, and not on her nipples. She didn't need to know I was a total perv this soon.

"Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. I was just going downstairs to look for this. I can't believe I was that careless. The thought of going back into the jail to see that creep again so soon makes me ill," she said, as the elevator doors closed.

Deep breath, and here goes nothing. "I'm going to go grab something to eat. Do you want to come with?" What if she says no, I thought. I'm going to have to wait for the elevator feeling like a putz.

"Sure." she said. "I was going to grab something after I searched high and low for that sanction."

We went to press the down button for the elevator at the same time, and I felt that weird static-electricity again. She inhaled at the touch so I know she felt it too. We entered the elevator and rode down in a comfortably awkward silence.

"Do you have a preference?" I asked her. I knew what I wanted, for lunch that is.

"It doesn't matter to me as long as it doesn't take forever. You remember the forty-five minute lunch don't you?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me? Irina could care less how long you take for lunch. She acts tough, but that's just because you are new. All you have to do is compliment her once in awhile, bring in some donuts or baked goods periodically, and leave some scratch offs on her desk and she is good to go." I couldn't believe the newbies hadn't figured her out yet.

We walked a few blocks and I held the door open for her to enter Demetri's Pizzeria. I loved this place. It was after the lunch rush so we had the place to ourselves. It was a small hole in the wall with great service and even better food.

"Have you ever been here Bella?" I asked.

"No. I had no idea this place was even here," she answered.

"Hey Edward. How are ya?" asked Demetri, the owner. He was a pleasantly plump Italian man and loved loyal patrons. He also loved law enforcement and took care of any of us who came in regularly. His pizzeria was known as a hot spot in more ways than one.

"Great Demetri. This is Bella. She works at parole now. She's a virgin." I said, without thinking of how it would sound when it came out of my mouth.

"Welcome _bellisima _Bella. I hope you enjoy it as much as Edward seems to. I'll give you a few minutes to decide what you would like." He walked back into the kitchen leaving us alone.

I looked at Bella who had been fidgeting with her napkin non-stop. She was as red as pizza sauce and looked horrified.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Just fine for a virgin." she responded, with an annoyed tone.

Oh shit, I thought. "Have you been here before? The answer is no. Thus making you one beautiful Demetri's Pizzeria virgin!" I said, with what might have been a little too much enthusiasm.

She started to giggle and then so did I. Laugh I mean, not giggle. I carry a gun. I do not giggle.

Lunch passed by in a blur. We talked about a whole lot of nothing and stuffed ourselves full. I was happy to see her eat some pizza and not be one of those "I'll have a salad" type of girls.

"Are you going to go to The Volturi on Friday?" she asked me, with what I hoped was a hopeful expression on her face.

"I'm not sure yet. How about you?" I asked.

"My roommate wants to go, but she doesn't get out of work until around eight o'clock. We are thinking of heading up there sometime after that. I want to see what all the after happy hour hype is about," she said excitedly.

"I've never been there after happy hour either. I've heard it's wild though. Maybe I'll see you there Officer."

"Maybe you should Agent." I couldn't help the giddy feeling I still got when someone, especially a hot girl, called me 'Agent'.

We walked back to the state building, and I noticed her looking at her watch about a bazillion times.

"Hey, wait here a second." I walked next door to the carryout and bought her a few scratch offs to give to Irina. "Here you go. Give these to Irina and I bet she doesn't give you, or the clock, a second glance."

She took them from me and gave me a huge smile, and then before I knew it, we were hugging. Yes, two gun carrying law enforcement officers hugging like dip shits in front of the state building. Before things could get awkward, she turned and ran inside.

I went back to the federal building and settled into my cubicle. Getting any real work done today was out of the question. I couldn't concentrate on anything as my mind kept wandering back to a hug for Christ-sakes! The beautiful girl was athletic feeling, but also very soft in all the right places. If I had to guess I would say about a 34 B+. Her hair smelled like watermelons. I loved fucking watermelons. Nice, I mean I love the way watermelons smell...

I was brought out of my daydream by Yorkie throwing a wadded up piece of paper at me.

"Dude. Didn't you hear me calling your name?"

"Obviously not, dickhead," I snapped.

"That's cool. What are you so happy about? You were staring at the side of your cube grinning like a schoolboy who just felt his first set of tits." Yorkie's tone was definitely mocking me.

"Fuck off. What are you up to this weekend?" Yes, I told him to fuck off and then was asking him out.

"Nothing as of now. How about you?" he asked, tentatively.

"Do you want to go to The Volturi on Friday night around 9o'clock? I'm going to ask a few buddies from parole, but I figured you might want to come since you're new around here."

The next thing I knew he was talking a million miles per minute about how cool that would be...yada yada yada. I really wasn't paying too close of attention until I heard the words 'clothes' and 'haircut'.

"Dude, I wasn't going to say anything, but your hair needs some definite Seattle style. We're not in Iowa anymore. I can hook you up with my girl if you want. And you know I am always up for a trip to the mall." I was praying he would take me up on my offer.

"Yeah, that sounds cool." His face was lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, but he was trying to play it cool.

"Let me call the salon and see if I can get you an appointment."

He wandered back to his cubicle, and I called the number on my speed dial. I had fuck-awesome hair, and I paid a small fortune to the little pixie that took care of it. While I was at it, I would see if Rose could get me in for a brow shaping. I take a lot of abuse for that one, but it's not my fault that most guys aren't man enough to take care of that kind of shit. I flat out refused to walk around looking like Andy Rooney or some shit. I looked at my Mariners clock and figured I would get a workout in before going home.

"Yorkie, you have an appointment with Alice on Thursday at 6 o'clock." I threw him her business card and headed to the gym.

On the drive home I realized that it was Monday which meant that it was 'Hang Out with Tanya Night.' She never worked Mondays and didn't have school. It also seemed like a slow day for bank robberies so I was usually home. I walked in and the place smelled delicious. Tanya may not have been a neat freak like me, but that broad could cook.

"Hey sweetie. I'm in _our _bedroom," she yelled from upstairs.

I can't describe it, but hearing her claim _my_ bedroom as _ours,_ irritated the fuck out of me. I know that's

immature since she does live here, but still. I walked upstairs to see her rearranging the closet. I could feel my blood pressure rising. She had better not be fucking with my clothes. That's grounds for an immediate dismissal or even pepper spray.

"Edward, stop glaring at me. I am not touching your clothes. I am digging my shit out of the corner that you stuffed it all in."

"Did you expect me to look at it laying all over the place all weekend? You know how I feel about that. We've had this discussion a million times," I snapped. Why was I being suck a dick?

"I made your favorite, spicy chicken alfredo, for dinner. Are you hungry?" She looked so bummed out, and I felt like such an asshole.

"Uum, yeah, It smells great. Thanks." I headed downstairs and waited for her to finish in the closet so we could eat.

I was feeling so anxious and irritable. I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I had a good day at work and an awesome workout. And then it came out of left field and about knocked me on my ass, I was feeling guilty for coming home to my girlfriend, because of the brown-eyed beautiful girl that I had lunch with. That was all sorts of fucked up, since I should have felt guilty about going to lunch with _her._

Dinner passed with small talk about work and nursing school. We did get along well for the most part, but something was definitely missing. We cleaned up the kitchen and she went upstairs to study.

I was getting prepared for a new episode of 24. Jack Bauer was one smart as hell, bad-ass motherfucker.

I have to admit that the concept of all this shit happening to him in one hour was a little far fetched, but so were a lot of other things. I still found it highly entertaining. I was just about to turn off the television when my phone vibrated with a text.

**SAC~Rosie told me your faggot ass was getting man-scaped tomorrow. Lol!* **

_Fucker. _

**ET~ Maybe you should think about letting Rosie take care of your faggotty hairy ass! **

Take that you prick.

**Dude. She loves my ass just the way it is.**

_Puke._

**R u in for Friday night around 9 at The Volturi? Want to see what the hype is about.**

Hopefully Rose would let him out.

**Can I see if Rose wants to go? She'll be home by then. Oh, and where did you see Officer Swan at?**

_Who the fuck is Officer Swan?_

**Yes, and who the fuck is Officer Swan?**

**Bella you dip shit. **

Bella's last name was that of a _bird?_ Hmm. Swans were beautiful and graceful. Get a grip. Shit, did she tell Emmett that we went to lunch? Not that it was a secret, but I didn't feel like getting my balls broken right now.

**She literally bumped into me at the jail. **

There. That was pretty good.

**Bet you didn't mind that at all...**

What the hell did Emmett mean by that? I wasn't going to ask.

**Let me know and tell Rose I'll see her tomorrow.**

I walked upstairs and Tanya was curled up on _my_ bed reading about human anatomy. Nice. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a tank top...with no bra. She did look pretty hot. I figured what the fuck and climbed up onto the bed with her. I started to play with her hair and noticed that her nipples were suddenly hard. She looked up at me and licked her lips seductively.

The anatomy book was pushed by the wayside as I grabbed her tits through her shirt. She started kissing my neck, and I could feel something stir down below. I lifted her tank top off and sucked on her left nipple, which just happened to be pierced. She let out a soft moan that sounded very hot. I grabbed her ass thru her pants and pulled her towards my very hard and throbbing cock. She gasped as she felt the bulge, and I pulled her even closer. I flipped her onto her back and took her pants off. I placed a finger on her clit and started to rub it gently. I put my thumb inside of her and found that she was so wet and ready for me. I continued to move my thumb inside of her and started to suck on her nipple again.

She was very close to cumming, but there was nothing like feeling a girl cum while I was inside of her. I pulled away and yanked my pants off as quickly as humanly possible. She grabbed my cock and brought it to her mouth, taking me inside of it. Her tongue swirled the tip and then her mouth devoured me. Now I was the one close to cumming. I pushed her away and our eyes met. She knew it was time.

I slipped inside of her slow and gentle. Holy shit was she wet! I needed to control my movements or this was going to be over before it started. I began to think about the starting line-up for the Seahawks in order to gain some composure. I kept my movements slow and steady and she was grabbing my ass like there was no tomorrow.

It was time. I deepened my thrusts and started to speed up. I could tell by her breathing that she was close. Her hands moved to my hair and she started to grab it roughly. I was thrusting and thrusting and she was so close. Her breathing turned into panting and she let out a deep moan. I could feel her convulsing around my swollen cock. My release was so close. I grabbed her legs and wrapped them around my waist so I could get deeper. Holy Mary Mother of God. I continued to thrust and came so hard I thought I may have broken my dick. The fucked up thing is that the word "Bella" came out of my mouth at the same time as my release...

**Let me know what you think:) For the record, I love gay people and hope that the 'f' word doesn't offend anyone too bad. **


	6. Leave it to Fucking Newton

**I know...he had sex with Tanya. Cut him a break. She's a lucky girl. **

**Thanks to chainedirisheagle for looking the stuff over, lotusblosm for the support and getting me addicted to FF, and to my beta, who is secretobsess7 on twitter, you rock! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns them.**

**~Chapter 6~ Leave it to Fucking Newton**

** ~~Bella~~**

The rest of the work day passed quickly. I was swamped with phone calls and emails, not to mention reports that were due. I guess that's what happens when you take a long ass lunch. Not that I'm complaining; however, the virgin comment made me a little uncomfortable, I'm not going to lie. I guess it's because it hit a little close to home. I am not a virgin in the true sense of the word, but close enough. I have had sex with one guy one time and it was a terrible experience. I only did it to get my friends off my back. They were insistent that I dare not graduate from college a virgin.

I had been out with Seth a few times, and he seemed like a good guy. I had started to like him and one night, and a bottle of wine later, we had sex. It consisted of him pushing into me, moving around a little and grunting. I think it may have lasted for a grand total of five minutes, which included putting my clothes back on. To make matters worse, the fucker never called me again.

Other than that, lunch was amazing. The pizza was by far the best I had ever had and so was the company. Without sounding like a love struck teenager, Edward is a total dreamboat. He is driven and successful and drop dead gorgeous. He opens doors, and has manners, and carries a gun...and handcuffs.

Another bonus is that he is stylishly trendy and _not_ gay. I couldn't help but notice he had on an incredible Tag Heuer Grand Carrera watch. Those run like five grand. I may have dressed like a boy at work, but I had great clothes and had quite a thing for watches. It didn't hurt that I lived with Alice. Shopping was her hobby just as reading was mine.

I got home around seven. I wasn't even out of the car and could hear, what I think was Kings of Leon, blasting from our apartment. Alice loved her music. I was ready to be pissed on behalf of our neighbors, until I began to smell the aroma of some sort of roast coming from our place. Hell yes! I was starving. Alice was off on Mondays, so as long as she was single, she had been cooking for me. Love her! I was more of a baker and caught up with that on the weekends. It was a sort of trade off for us.

"Hey Al, I'm home." I turned down the music and walked into the kitchen to find her standing there in an apron. I couldn't help but laugh, and she hit me with a wooden spoon. It gave me flashbacks of my mom chasing me around the kitchen table with hers.

"Hi honey. How was your day?" We both started cracking up.

"So Al...do you have any plans after work on Friday?" I asked, innocently.

"No. Why? You're not going to try and drag me to some lame ass poetry reading again are you?"

"Shut up. I thought you might like it. So...you don't want to go to The Volturi?"

"Hell to the yes!" She ran and threw herself at me. "Can you get me in with your badge too?"

"I'm sure they won't mind. You clean up nicely." Alice was the cutest little thing. She could surely turn on the charm, so I had no doubt that we would be able to get in. "And yes, we can go shopping."

"Bella, what the hell has gotten into you? First volunteering to go clubbing and then shopping too!"

"Relax. I just want to make sure I look good, and I just have to see what the hype is about." I didn't mind shopping. Shopping with Alice was a whole different ball game. I _needed _to look good. Dressing like a boy, acting like a boy, and being around boys could make a girl feel less than girlie. Okay, and the last two times I had seen Edward I was in work gear. I wanted him to see me all dolled up. If he called me beautiful twice in that mode, I couldn't wait to see his face when I pulled out all the stops.

I think I am pretty plain and average at best. Alice thinks I am nuts. She says that men stare at me all the time. I am sure it's because they think I look familiar or most probably I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe. I wish I had bigger boobs but then I got this job and didn't need to draw any more attention to my female parts. I was so pale I looked like a vampire in the winter and a lobster in the summer. To wrap it up in a nutshell, my self esteem sucks balls as far as my looks are concerned. My job on the other hand is another story. I go above and beyond because I know that some people still believe that law enforcement is a man's world and no place for women.

"Hello, earth to Bella. I just asked you a question." She was glaring at me.

"What?"

"Who else is going on Friday? Anyone worthy of going shopping for?" She was definitely on the hunt.

"I'm not sure. I'll ask some of the guys around the office tomorrow," I said.

"So is the federale going to be there?"

"Alright, yes. We had lunch today and he is going to be there. So yes, you get to take me shopping and have your way with me." Good thing I had just paid off my credit card.

I was at work with the chickens on Tuesday. I guess I felt a little guilty for blowing off work yesterday, and to be honest, I slept like shit. I tossed and turned and thought of the 'Agent'...a lot. I got all my reports for the week done before anyone else was even in the office. That is where my mad writing skills came into play. I was usually in the office on Mondays and Wednesdays, Tuesdays I played by ear, and Thursdays and Fridays were spend in the field, which actually was the term we used for hanging out in the ghetto doing home visits.

I heard the front door of the office open, the phone stated to ring, and the office came to life. It was eight o'clock. I got up and walked to the front office area. Irina looked at me and gave me a knowing smirk and said good morning. I could hear Emmett's boisterous voice coming from his office. I headed that way and found Tyler, Jasper and Ben huddled around Emmett's desk.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Bella. How's it going?" said Ben.

"I'm good. Anything going on today?" I asked, with trepidation.

"Well, I have court, and these losers are procrastinating because they don't want to write their reports." Ben said with a grimace. They all hated the amount of paperwork involved with this job.

Just then Mike walked in with a frantic look on his face. He didn't look so fresh this morning.

"Newton, you look like shit," said Ben.

"I didn't get much sleep last night if you know what I mean." He winked and I was about to vomit. I could only assume he and Jessica were together. "I need to find three people to go with me to search an offender's residence. I got a call from an anonymous source claiming that he had a gun." Jasper and Emmett about jumped out of their skin. Anything to avoid report writing in exchange for real law enforcement action. It was Tyler's report day, meaning that the offenders on his caseload had to report to his office to check in, so he was out. "Bella, are you in?"

I couldn't believe Newton was asking me to go. He tried not to be obvious about it, but I know he preferred to have males with him.

"Um, sure," I stammered.

"Alright, let's get our stuff and meet downstairs in five."

By stuff, he meant our bulletproof vests. We gathered in the garage that was attached to our building. Mike showed us a picture of Alec Johnson, the offender, and it was decided that Mike and Emmett would go in the house first, Jasper would cover the front, and I would be in the back yard. It was not unheard of for the 'bad guy' to jump out the window or run out the back door. Ben and Mike claimed the state car. It looked like an unmarked police car minus the lights and sirens.

I walked with Jasper to his car which was parked a few blocks away. I was a little unnerved to be alone with Jasper. He was always so quiet and I never knew what exactly to say to him. We hadn't really had any real conversations, and all I knew was that he was from Texas. My nervousness disappeared the minute I got into his car. I can't really describe it, but he had such a calming sense about him and the conversation came easy.

I learned that he had moved here for the job and lived in an apartment not far from mine. He was twenty-six, single, loved to fix cars, and played the guitar in his spare time. His mom lived in Texas, and his sister was currently studying to be a teacher at the University of Oregon. That was his Alma mater as well, and when he saw this job posting he figured he would apply in order to remain in semi-close proximity to his sister. His dad had passed away a few years back from prostate cancer and his mom remained in Texas to care for his elderly grandmother. I asked him if he was coming out on Friday, and he responded with a shrug and then a 'what the hell'. I found during the short drive that he was easy to be around and knew that we would become good friends.

We pulled up to a one story dumpy looking house that I figured must belong to the offender. The paint was peeling, and there was a stereotypical car up on cinder blocks in the driveway. Mike and Emmett walked up to the door and I went around back. There was litter and garbage all over the yard and also a stake in the ground that a dog run would attach to. I pulled my gun out and had it ready. In the academy they taught us to shoot to kill. I would much rather aim at an arm or leg, but I didn't dare admit this to anyone else. My dad would kick my ass. I heard the guys knock on the door and then it open and slam shut. Uh oh. Not a good sign. I heard a lot of commotion and the next thing I knew the back door flung open.

Out came Alec Johnson running at full speed. I saw the look of surprise on his face at seeing me standing there with my gun drawn. Before I could react, he charged right at me like a football player, knocking me flat on my ass. Fuck. Now I get what people mean when they say they see stars. I was trying to catch my breath because I got the wind knocked out of me. I looked up and saw the offender hop a fence and continue running. I got up slowly and realized that I was alright, meaning nothing was broken. I already had a splitting headache and my right eye stung.

There was an eerily familiar noise behind me and as I turned around I almost shit my pants. A huge fucking pit bull was at the back door eying me like I was lunch. We made eye contact, and as if in slow motion it began to run towards me. In a split second I raised my gun and aimed. I pulled the trigger until my magazine was empty. My ears were ringing from all of the shots and I thought I might pass out. I closed my eyes for a minute, afraid to look, but also afraid I missed and was about to suffer a dog attack.

"Bella! Bella!" I heard shouts but they seemed far away. I could feel something cold and soggy beneath me. I tried to move but nothing happened. The shouts sounded closer. My eyelids fluttered open; I saw Jasper and Emmett leaning over me with concerned looks on their faces.

"Bells, welcome back. You just shot a fucking dog thirteen times." Emmett was looking at me like a proud parent.

I sat up and felt dizzy as hell. Jasper and Emmett helped me to my feet. I looked to the left and saw a big lump on the ground that was covered with a jacket that said parole on the back. I looked away, as the reality of what just happened did not yet register. The place looked like a circus. There were police cars with their lights on all over the place, along with an ambulance and I even saw a news van.

A search of the house did in fact reveal a gun, along with a shit load full of cocaine and marijuana. It looked as if Mr. Johnson was involved in some extra-curricular activities. The police were collecting evidence so they could charge him with drug possession as well as possession of a firearm by a felon. Now, he just had to be located. I wondered how everyone got here this fast and then Newton admitted to calling 911 when he heard shots being fired.

I was ushered towards the ambulance to get checked out and I saw a man holding a video camera aimed right towards me. Great. Mike was forced to go back downtown so he could file a warrant for parole violation, along with a whole shitload of additional reports, while Emmett and Jasper stayed behind. After a quick assessment it was deemed I had a slight concussion and would likely have a black eye. I was cleared to go home after they gave me 800 mg of ibuprofen.

Emmett called into the office to alert our supervisor of the situation. He told them to take care of me and not to worry about coming back into the office, as long as they took this time to write out an incident report that was needed ASAP. They drove me to my apartment and helped me inside. I assured them that I was alright but they continued to hover like they were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Alice wasn't due home for awhile and they didn't want to leave me alone. They made themselves at home in the living room and I crawled into my bed. They told me to nap, but assured me they would wake me up in two hours as instructed by the EMT.

I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew, the smell of pizza was attacking my senses. I could hear voices and what sounded like a baseball game floating in from the living room. I felt movement in my room and the word 'Edward' came out of my mouth. I finally opened my eyes and looked up to see Emmett staring at me with an amused look on his face.

**Let me know what you think. And, no I never shot dog when I was a P.O. , but two of my co-workers did. Sorry if that offends anyone but some 'bad guys' train these dogs to attack and even have gone as far to mix gun powder in their food which makes them psycho on purpose. Don't fuck with people's dogs if you find yourself hanging out in the ghetto!**

**I love reviews...and even respond to them!**


	7. Breaking Up is Hard to Do

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this. Especially those who put it on alert, and those who took the time to review:) Luvs!**

**Thanks to chainedirisheagle and lotusblossom for all of the support. Secretobsession7 (secretobsess7 on twitter) is my beta! **

**I know...Bella had a crazy day at the office...**

**Now back to Edward's night with Tanya...**

** Chapter 7~Breaking up is hard to do~**

** ~~Edward~~**

To say Monday night sucked was the understatement of the year. As always, the sex was hot, but what flew out of my mouth when I came shocked the hell out of me...and Tanya.

Lucky for me I am quick on my feet. I could have just told Tanya the truth, but in reality nothing was going on with Bella. I'm not going to lie, I want something to go on with Bella, but Tanya and I have our own problems that Bella has nothing to do with. I made up some shit about having Italian on my mind because of seeing Demetri today at the pizza shop. Tanya knew I went there all the time and I just happened to leave out that I ate with a beautiful girl who I couldn't stop thinking about. Everyone knows that 'bella' means beautiful in Italian so that's the story I stuck with. Not that I could ever describe the sex with Tanya as beautiful, or even Tanya herself as beautiful. She was hot in a dirty sort of way.

She bought the explanation but then opened up a whole new can of worms when she wanted to have 'the talk'. The State of the Relationship Address! Where did I see our relationship going? Well, I wasn't enough of a dick to actually just use the one word answer of 'nowhere', so I had to actually lay it all out. I told her she was a great girl, but I just couldn't envision a future. Little did I know she had no idea and thought everything was going well. She even had our kids' names picked out for fucks sake.

She started to cry and ended up pretty hysterical. I hugged her and she continued to cry and asked what she could do to make me love her. It about broke my heart. I had no idea what was missing. It just was. I tried to make her see that we barely saw each other and neither one of us really seemed to mind. It was a sexually compatible relationship of convenience.

There was no talk of her moving out since we both knew that she had nowhere to go and was using the money she earned at the restaurant to pay for school. She had four months until graduation and instead of getting engaged, which was her plan, I hoped she would be moving out. We both knew she would get hired right away because nurses were in high demand, so hopefully she could use her signing bonus to secure an apartment.

I felt like a weight had been taken off of my shoulders, yet I felt terrible for hurting her. She looked so broken and I felt relieved, thus making me feel like a huge and total jackass. I knew we could co-exist in my condo, but I just hoped she realized that things were not going to change as far as I was concerned. It shouldn't be that hard to fall in love with someone. I had never been in love, and only said the word to family members. Not to sound like a chick, but I was convinced that when I was in love I would know without a doubt.

We fell asleep in what was considered the middle of the night. When I woke up on Tuesday she had already gone to school. Work was uneventful and I was in a pretty depressed mood. Not even a workout helped. I purposely hung out at the gym until I knew Tanya would have already left for work.

Pussy points for sure, but I just didn't feel like getting into 'it' again tonight. When I got home I popped open a can of Chef Boyardee Raviolis and plopped down on the couch. It was six o'clock so all that was on TV was the Mariners getting their asses kicked, and the the news. Neither option was appealing, but I thought the news may be less of a disaster. Fuck was I wrong. I was fork deep into my gourmet dinner, when the heading on the screen almost made me choke:

**-TOTAL OVERKILL- STATE PAROLE OFFICER SHOOTS DOG 13 TIMES BUT THE OFFENDER GOT AWAY.-**

My eyes were glued to the screen. It couldn't be...or could it? They cut to a video at the scene after the shooting and there, flanked by Emmett and Jasper, was Bella. She looked dazed, confused and basically like shit. Her one eye looked swollen and she was pale as all get out. They showed a picture of Alec Johnson, the fugitive, and he looked so familiar. I threw caution to the wind and pulled out my phone.

**ET~WTF? I just saw you on the news!**

**Dude. No shit, right? She hit the mutt with every fucking shot! **Leave it to Emmett to only give details about the number of times the dog was shot. That meant that Bella was definitely the one that shot the dog.

**Is she okay? She looked like shit on TV. **_Please say yes..._

**Yeah. A mild concussion and a black eye. We are at her place now eating pizza and waiting for her roommate to get home. **_The beautiful girl had a black eye. I needed details. If some fucker hit her, I would hunt them down and it would not end nicely._

**I need to go wake her up. Want me to tell her anything? **_Yes, a lot of stuff. No. I don't know. Shit._

**Tell her I'm glad I'm not a dog!**

I woke up Wednesday with an uneasy feeling. Then the whole Bella situation came back to me full force. I hoped she was doing well and not too sore. I picked up the phone and dialed the number to the flower shop down the street. I told them I wanted a "get well' arrangement sent out today. Let's face it, I had an easy time getting her address. I needed to do something and flowers usually did the trick with girls. I would have rather just shown up at her door but I thought that may have seemed a little crazy.

There were a couple of follow-up interviews that I had to do at the jail. I figured I would pay Emmett a visit afterward. I needed to know what happened.

When I walked into the parole office, Irina was front and center. She let me in and gave me a huge hug and an even bigger smile. "Edward, to what do we owe this honor?" She was smirking and I knew she was just having some fun with me.

"I'm here to screw with Emmett," I said, as if it should be obvious.

"He should be in his office." She walked away with a small giggle under her breath. She knew my visit to see Emmett would make his day. He did worship the ground I walked on, after all!

I walked down the hall and waved to Ben and Tyler whose offices I passed on my way. Emmett was on the phone so I leaned on the edge of his desk. There was no way I was sitting in one of the offenders' chairs. Not even with a bottle of sanitizer and an entire can of Lysol being used. Emmett hung up the phone and looked at me with a smirk.

"What?" I said, with a questioning tone. I didn't like the look he was giving me. "You knew I would have to get some details."

"Uh huh. I'm not surprised to see you here," he said, knowingly.

"What are you talking about? My best friend was involved in a shooting and you didn't think I would want details?" I spoke as if I was highly offended that he didn't think I was worried about HIM.

"We went to search one of Newton's parolee's residences. He opened the door and then slammed it on us. Then we had to force it open and he took off running. Apparently, he ran out the back door and knocked Bella over. Then the dog ran out and she shot it...thirteen times! She unloaded her entire magazine and then passed the fuck out." He was obviously proud of her. "She called off sick today because she has a killer headache."

"Shit dude. That could have turned out really bad. Have they found him yet?"

"No. A warrant was issued, but nothing so far."

"Alright, I'll see what I can do to get that at the top of the fugitive unit's pile. I'm sure they won't mind if you guys go with them. Do you have anything going on or can we go and grab something to eat?"

"I'm good to go, but only if you take me to Demetri's." Emmett loved that place.

We walked in and it was packed. Wall to wall government people, there were a few prosecutors, a couple of cops, and some DEA Agents thrown in for good measure. We grabbed the last table. Demetri spotted us and gave us a flustered wave. He made his way over to us with a Dr. Pepper for me and a coke for Emmett.

"Hi Edward! Back so soon?" Shit, I was hoping that he wouldn't mention Bella. I should have thought of that before we went there, but I was temporarily rendered unable to think straight at the thought of one of Demetri's calzones. "Where's bellisima today?" I looked over to Emmett who just about spit out his coke and was looking at me with his eyebrow raised waiting for an explanation.

"Yeah Edward. Where is she?" _Dickhead._

I told Demetri she was sick, all the while glaring at Emmett.

"Dude, it's none of my business and all, but _what the fuck?"_ he said.

"What? We bumped into each other at the jail and we ended up here for lunch," I said, nonchalantly.

"Well, you should have seen the look on her face last night when I told her what you said. She turned so red she fucking looked like a tomato. I wasn't going to tell you this, but when I walked into her room to wake her up she said _your_ name."

Now it was my turn to look like a fucking tomato, which did not go unnoticed by Emmett.

"Again, _what the fuck? _Bella? Seriously?" He looked so surprised.

"Alright, fuck it. I can't explain it. I am so attracted to her that I can't think straight. I can't get her out of my head. The other night I even said her name when Tanya and I were having sex."

"Dude!" He was leaning over the table so far I thought it was going to tip over. Emmett is a big son of a bitch.

"I know, right? I made up some shit about how 'bella' means pretty and blamed it on Demetri speaking Italian. I thought it was going to blow over and then she wanted to have the whole 'State of our Relationship Address' at midnight. It was not pretty. I was honest and basically told her I couldn't see it going anywhere. She was so upset and I felt like a total douche. The thing is she can't move out until she is done with school and gets a real job. I just hope that she realizes it's for the best."

"Wow. That sucks. She is as hot as fuck though."

"Geez, thanks Em." _Dick. _ "Please keep this between us. I don't want Tanya to think that this is because of someone else." I knew that once Emmett made a promise, he kept it.

The rest of the week passed by pretty fast. I saw Rose, and if I must admit, my brows looked fucking awesome. I told Alice that Eric would be in to see her and to make sure she made him look presentable. Rose made no mention of my personal life, so I knew Emmett was once again true to his word. She did mention that she was excited to go out on Friday night. I hoped Bella would be well enough to go out by then.

I took Yorkie shopping. We went to the mall and I figured I would let him lead. He headed straight for Eddie Bauer.

"Yorkie, what are you planning on getting in there?" I said, apprehensively.

"I want to look at their khakis, and maybe a new button down," he said, as I if I should know this.

I didn't want to seem like such a dick, but I needed to know if that's what he planned on getting for Friday. I figured I could tell him what I planned on wearing and maybe he would model himself after me. "I need to go to Nordstroms. There are some jeans I want to get and maybe a shirt...or two."

"Okay, let me just take a look around here," he said, insistently.

I was pretty silent but overjoyed when they didn't have his size in the flannel he picked out. I figured I would lead him over to Express and maybe the Buckle. I didn't need to shock him right out of the gate with how much I was about to spend on my jeans at Nordstroms. We walked into Express and the sales girl, who obviously worked on commission, was extremely attentive to him. She gathered half of the store into a dressing room and ushered him inside. Not to be a fag, but he had a pretty nice build and wasn't bad looking. Once Alice had her way with his hair, things would be vastly improved.

He came out of the dressing room looking like a whole new dude. He had on a black button down long sleeved shirt that had a cross on the back, along with a pair of flat front gray fitted dress pants. We decided that he should wear that on Friday. He was about to leave the dressing room, but I insisted he keep going with the fashion show. I helped the sales girl find a couple more outfits and we insisted that he try them on.

When all was said and done we left there with four new pairs of pants, three dressy shirts, four t-shirt and three pairs of boxer briefs. He even got the sales girl's phone number. I took him to the Buckle next where I got him a black beaded bracelet, some True Religion cologne, and a new belt buckle. Things were starting to shape up.

We went into Nordstroms where I headed right to the Seven for All Mankind kiosk. I had been eying their new dark wash denim collection for at least a couple of weeks now. I knew what size I needed seeing as these would not be my first pair. I grabbed them and walked over to a mannequin. Never in my life would I have considered a sweater vest to look stylish, but I think I could pull it off. I found a crisp white t-shirt and grabbed the vest.

"Edward, I know you know more about this type of thing, but I think my grandpa has that vest," he said, with a snicker.

"Watch and learn my friend." I said, cockily.

I came out of the dressing room in the complete ensemble and Yorkie was shocked at what he saw. The t-shirt showed off my biceps, and of course the bottom of my tat, and the sweater vest dressed it up just enough, but not in the old fashioned grandpa way. The jeans were kick ass as well. We got to the checkout and Yorkie almost had a coronary right there when the girl told me the total was $287.62. I didn't even flinch, but I was very amused by the look on his face.

Our last stop was Aldo. I couldn't imagine what type of shoes he would have tried to wear. The only ones I had seen thus far were old worn running shoes and black dress shoes that had a thick rubber sole on them. Unacceptable. I picked out three different pairs and left the decision up to him. He couldn't thank me enough, and I made him promise me he would at least wait a couple of days before calling the girl from Express.

I only saw Tanya in passing so things hadn't had a chance to get awkward...yet. She was scheduled to work the entire weekend, which I had to admit made me a little relieved. I still felt like shit about the whole thing. I only hoped that she was doing well enough emotionally so that her grades did not suffer. She was on the final stretch, and I witnessed how hard she had worked to get this far. Tanya was going to make someone very happy, that someone just wasn't me. Maybe I would end up alone in the end, but it wasn't fair to her. It also wasn't fair that I couldn't wait until Friday so I could see the beautiful girl.

**Well...what do you think? I wish I could look forward to going clubbing with them. Instead I am home writing this!:)**

**I'm maxandmo on twitter. I respond to reviews...just so you know:)**


	8. Overkill

**Here goes nothing...it's the weekend baby!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns them.**

**Thanks again to Michelle and lotusblosm for your support. My husband is happy since this endeavor is saving money. It's taking away from my internet shopping addiction.**

**Secretobsession 7 is my beta! I wish I would have found her sooner...it would have saved me a lot of time! (secretobsess7 on twitter)**

** Chapter 8~~Overkill~~**

** ~~Bella~~**

_Where the hell was I? I was laying in a meadow full of beautiful flowers all by myself. I looked up and saw Edward walking towards me. He is so beautiful, especially when the sun was illuminating all of his perfect features He was getting closer, but I couldn't seem to move in order to close the gap. All of a sudden he got a painful look on his face and then he metamorphosed into a huge pit bull that was lunging right towards me. I picked up my gun, but I was frozen by the shock and almost wanted to be bitten if the creature was indeed Edward. _

I bolted upright in bed, struggling to catch my breath. I was sweaty as hell and my head felt like someone had been swinging at it with a hammer. I guess in a sense Alec Johnson had. I needed to remember to move slowly. I pulled the rubber band off of my wrist and pulled my hair into a haphazard pony tail. I was scared to look in the mirror, but before I had the chance someone was knocking on my door. I answered it and the man standing there took a step back, eying me like some kind of freak. He handed me a bouquet of wildflowers. Strangely enough they reminded me of the ones in the meadow from my dream. I glared at the delivery man and walked back into my apartment. Who in the hell would send me flowers? Must be from the office. I opened the card and had to steady myself against the kitchen table.

** Officer**

** Hope you are recovering nicely from your "overkill"**

** Agent**

They were not only flowers, they were flowers from Edward. I was embarrassed by the reason for the flowers, but also elated at the fact that he was thoughtful enough to send them. Was it crazy that I wished he would have delivered them in person? I also wanted to beat the shit out of that news bitch Lauren Mallory for coming up with the clever term for the dog incident. I placed them on the table and then wandered into the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I quickly understood why flower guy was looking at me like I was some character in a horror film. My right eye was nearly swollen shut and was a very pretty shade of purple. Oh, shit. How in the hell was I going to go out on Friday night looking like this? I didn't want it to be so obvious that I was the 'overkill dog girl'. What's even more screwed up is that my head was pounding, I could only see out of one of my eyes, yet I was worried about going out on Friday night!

I was already excused from going to work, so I had the whole day to obsess over my new nickname. I made some toast and choked it down so I could take four more ibuprofen. I went into the living room, flipped on the TV, and was getting ready to enjoy some Regis and Kelly when they cut to a commercial.

A very cute dog ran across the screen heading towards his new bowl of Alpo. A loud sob escaped my throat and tears began to stream down my face. I killed a dog. A living, breathing animal that was someone's pet. Albeit that it was a fucked-up someone's pet, but still a pet nonetheless. I wasn't especially a dog lover, but I never anticipated killing one either. I know it was a pit-bull and those things are mean, but still. Great, the crying wasn't helping my splitting headache and it was making my swollen eye itch. Maybe I should just torture myself by watching the National Dog Show or perhaps Lassie. I spent the rest of the day laying around, wallowing in my sorrows.

By Thursday, my headache was gone for the most part, and I had accepted the fact that if I had not killed the dog, it would have eaten me for lunch. My eye, however, still looked like shit. It was now a lighter shade of purple but still swollen. I called into the office and my supervisor cleared me to work at home the next two days. At least I didn't have to be seen and yet I was still getting paid. I checked my messages and then booted up my computer. I sorted through my 106 emails and returned some phone calls. I was just getting ready to make something to eat and then the home phone rang.

"Hi, Bella," Alice said, before I even said hello. "I took the liberty of going to the early bird sale at Nordstroms so I could find you something to wear tomorrow. I found the most kick-ass outfits but wanted to ask you blue or green? I can't decide, but I can't tell you what it is since I want it to be a surprise. You do still want to go tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, Al. As long as you promise to help me with my make-up, and I'm going to have to go with green, definitely." For some very_ known_ reason green had become my most favorite color as of last week. "Thank you so much. I was starting to stress out about shopping and had no idea what I was going to wear. I owe you big time."

I was so lucky to have Mary Alice Brandon in my life. I knew that whatever she came home with would be spectacular, especially since she knew that I was trying to impress a certain someone.

I was instructed to be showered with my hair blown dry at eight o'clock in anticipation of Alice's arrival. She only had to change when she got home as she had her hair and make-up done at work. I, on the other hand, was a whole different story. I had to have my hair done perfectly in order to off set my Rocky Balboa eye. Make-up was never really my strong suite, and I usually stuck with mascara and lip gloss. Alice had the go ahead to do mine tonight. I still hadn't seen my outfit choices either. Alice preferred it this way. Even if I felt too risque, there was nothing I could do because we had to leave. She tended to dress a little more provocatively than me. If I had to guess, probably not tonight though.

She blew through the door at 8:02 and got to work. First she insisted that I do a shot with her. I pulled out the bottle of Patron, got two glasses, some sugar, and a couple of lime slices. We drank them down and then she began the transformation. She flat ironed my hair and parted it in such a way that it covered up most of my 'purple friend'. The eyeshadow that she put on my left eye was a smoky purple shade that she obviously bought to match. She added some bronzer, lip lined me, and when I looked in the mirror, I could only gape. Holy shit the girl could work wonders.

She pulled out the bags, and I mean five of them, from Nordstroms and I was nervous with anticipation. I guess that's why she made me do the shot, not that she held a gun to my head, but whatever. Out of the first bag came a sage green chiffon blouse. It was so beautiful and sexy. It only had one sleeve which left the other shoulder bare. The neckline was trimmed with a band of different colors about one inch thick. I had never seen anything like it. Alice pulled out two pairs of black leggings to wear with it. I got to choose between a pair that looked like leather or a plain black pair with a slight shine to them. I tried them both on and we opted for the shiny ones. She then busted out a pair of strappy black heels for me and one pair for her.

She showed me what she bought for herself. It was a sleeveless form fitting royal blue dress that stopped at the knee and belted at the waist with a thick black belt. Alice had a rockin' body. She was tiny, especially her waist, with nice full boobs, and a great little butt. Once people got over her height, they realized what good things came in small packages. We looked awesome. I started to relax, courtesy of Mr. Tequila, and asked her to show me what was in the remaining bags. She pulled out another incredible outfit for me, and a whole shitload of lingerie for her. She was ever hopeful.

"Alice, you really don't have to wear that stuff on my account. I _am _coming home with you tonight." We laughed so hard she nearly peed her pants. She called me an asshole and proceeded to pull out a huge shoebox.

"Bella, please sit down. I found these boots and they are fuck-awesome. I know you are going to think they are too risque for you, but they go perfectly with the second outfit and they were on sale. The bastards were out of my size! Both of the outfits were featured in last month's issue of Vogue."

She opened the box and pulled out the longest pair of boots I had ever seen. They had a pointy toe and three inch heels, which was fine with me. The part that was a little scary was that they looked like they would reach all the way to my vajayjay. There was no way I was going to ever wear these things. Not unless I decided to get a second job at a strip club.

"Alice, are you for real? I will look like a hoochie and probably fall and break my ankle in those things." I looked at her like she was nuts.

"Bella, we don't have time for you to try on the entire outfit right now, plus it would fuck up your hair, but trust me when I say you will look hot! I know we will go to Volturi again, so now you don't have to stress about what to wear." She had a weird way of knowing what was going to happen sometimes. She threw the issue of Vogue at me and as I looked at it I had to admit it was one hot outfit. I promised to try it on.

We drove up to the entrance, and Alice gave her keys to the valet. I'm glad I let her drive since my Escort would have looked grossly out of place. She had just gotten a cherry red Audi. It totally fit her. The line was wrapped around the building. I always got nervous at this point. I told her to turn up the charm and we walked up to the doorman. I flashed him a huge smile and then my badge. He made some lame ass comment about how he wished I was his P.O. and let us in. Alice loved me right now. The place was packed, but not uncomfortably so. The lights were down and the place had a purple aura to it. How ironic. I had never seen so many beautiful people in my life. Now I was loving Alice for finding me this incredible outfit. We walked over to the bar and each ordered a margarita. I was trying to not be so obvious about wanting to find Edward, but Alice caught me scanning the crowd.

"Did you spot the federale yet?" she asked, with a grin on her face.

I didn't respond with words, instead a simple elbow jab to the ribs.

"Fuck Bella, you don't have to go all ninja on my ass. Bella, what are you looking at?"

I could hear Alice talking, but I couldn't understand anything she was saying because my entire being was focused on the green eyed God who was heading towards me. She turned around to see what I was looking at and at the same time I heard Edward say Alice and vice versa. What the hell?

"Edward! Hi," Alice said, excitedly.

"Hey Alice! You look awesome."

I was really confused about how they knew each other. He looked at me and gave me the most incredible lopsided grin that made my privates tingle. Alice was just about to introduce us when he said my name. She started out with a confused look that quickly turned into amusement.

"The federale," she breathed.

He looked at us with one unusually perfect eyebrow raised in a questioning manor. Before he had time to question us, I heard Emmett's voice behind me.

"Wow Bella, you clean up nice! You look hot as hell baby!"

"Thanks Em. You look pretty good yourself big guy," I said, while looking at the beautiful girl on his arm.

"Bella, this is my girl Rose," he said proudly.

"Rosalie?" Alice said.

Now everyone, except Edward, was looking at them with confusion. They gave each other a hug and started to chat. Edward explained that they worked together at Salon Vamp. Edward then asked how I knew Alice. I told him that she had been my best friend since the eleventh grade and we were now roommates. I looked to Alice and back to Edward and then it clicked that she was the one entrusted to cut his incredible hair.

Edward introduced me to his co-worker and then Ben and Jasper walked over. I couldn't believe how good they looked also. Jasper was wearing an ice blue button down shirt with black dress pants. I was not surprised to look down and see his cowboy boots. You could take the boy out of Texas, but you couldn't take Texas out of the boy. Ben was trendily dressed as well.

It was Edward that left me breathless. He had on the jeans that I have been eying for myself the last few weeks, and I couldn't believe that he made a sweater vest look so hot. Rosalie was a bit intimidating, but I instantly liked her. We made introductions all around, and I could see the wheels in Alice's mind turning. I was watching her take inventory of all of our new friends. She was looking from one guy to the next. I heard her take a sharp intake of breath as her eyes landed on Jasper. She claimed to have to go to the restroom, but I knew she wanted details.

"Bella! What is his story? I can't believe you haven't told me about him before!" She was talking a mile a minute.

"I have just gotten to know him recently. He is single and from Texas. He lives by himself in an apartment pretty close to us. He spent the entire day at our apartment Tuesday. You actually missed him by like five minutes. In fact, you probably passed him on the road. You have nerve little miss innocent. You seriously cut someone as hot as Edward's hair, yet you fail to mention that! You mean to tell me that you had no idea that I was talking about him when I was going on about the F.B.I. Agent?"

"We never really talked about his job, so I kind of forgot what he did for a living. We talked about clothes and cars and stuff. I almost thought he was gay he's so pretty."

We made a truce and headed back to the bar. We had another round of drinks and I was feeling pretty good. The music was awesome and I couldn't stop staring at how cool the servers looked in their robes. This place rocked, especially in my state of mind. Alice and Rose wanted to dance so we made our way to the floor. I am an awesome dancer when I have been drinking. We noticed the guys gathered around the outer edge of the dance floor. I could see Jasper staring at Alice, and I could feel the intensity of Edward's stare. This was turning out to be a really good night so far.

Emmett, Jasper, and Edward made their way to us, and we all paired off and started to dance. I could feel his hands on my waist, and again there was a massive surge of electricity. I couldn't help but grind myself against him. There was nothing hotter than dancing with a total hottie after having a few drinks. We continued to move together to the music and I could feel his arousal against my behind. I was so relieved that I had this effect on him. I could already feel myself getting wetter by the minute. I needed this man like I needed air to breathe. The feel of his hand on my bare shoulder was maddening. I turned around and we locked eyes. We continued to dance in a mesmerized state. It was as if we were the only two people in the room. He put his arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

"You look so hot tonight beautiful girl," he said, with pure sex.

"You look pretty good yourself. Thank you for the flowers. That was very thoughtful. Oh, and I'm happy you're not a dog either, that would be overkill," I said, breathlessly. It helped to make light of the situation.

We continued to stare at each other as he reached his hand into the back of my hair. He pulled me towards him and we kissed. It was the most intense, earth shattering kiss of my entire life. His mouth was warm and tasted sweet. He smelled so fucking good, I made a mental note to find out what he was wearing so that I could buy some and spray it on my pillow. Our tongues moved in perfect sync, and I never wanted it to end. He loosened his hold on my hair and the kiss turned softer until we finally separated. We made our way back to the group, and I felt like a giddy high school kid. I was sure I had the cheesiest grin on my face along with the wettest pair of panties ever.

"I am so glad you are alright," he said, quietly, so only I could hear. He lifted my hair away from my face and grimaced when he saw my eye.

"It looks worse than it feels," I said apologetically.

He announced that he was going to get another round and the guys followed him to the bar. Alice sat down next to me, along with Rose. Alice had the biggest smile on her face. "Jasper asked me out for lunch tomorrow!" she exclaimed.

"Oh Alice, that's great!" I was truly excited for them.

Rose was just sort of sitting there quietly. Alice starting rambling on and on about what she should wear tomorrow. I looked towards the bar and saw a very attractive girl walk up to Edward. He looked at her shockingly, and Emmett gave her a hug and then glanced over at us. I couldn't help but stare. Rose immediately looked uncomfortable. The girl put her arm around Edward in a very intimate and comfortable way and was practically rubbing herself against him. I didn't mean for the words to come out my mouth, but the next thing I knew I said, "Who in the hell is that?"

To which Rose answered, "That's Edward's girlfriend. They're practically engaged."

**IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN! IT COULDN'T BE HAPPY A ENDING YET. WE ARE JUST GETTING STARTED!**

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**


	9. Busted

**This chapter has been the most difficult to write so far...hope it meets your expectations!**

**Thanks to lotusblosm and chainedirsisheagle, as always, and a special shout out to my federale.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns these guys.**

**In case you haven't noticed...I love these ~~~~~~~~ things:)**

**Happy Easter:)**

**Secretobsession7 is my beta h00r! She's secretobsess7 on twitter.**

** ~~Chapter 9~ Busted~**

** ~Edward~**

I have never seen something so beautiful in my entire life. She looked so carefree...and sexy as fuck. The beautiful girl looked absolutely amazing tonight. Her outfit was classy, yet hot. It was something I couldn't have chosen better myself and that was saying a lot. It was high end fashion, and that in itself, made it even better. The outfit was actually in last month's issue of Vogue. I don't have a subscription, I happened to read it the last time I was waiting to get my hair cut. She was also wearing a white ceramic Michele watch. I loved the way those looked on girls.

I almost fell over when I realized Alice was her roommate. What a small world. Lucky for me Alice and I had a mutual admiration for each other. She loved my hair, and I loved the way she cut it. We also had a love for the same type of cars and loved clothes. I can't believe she never mentioned that her roommate was a good looking parole officer. I gazed over to where the girls were dancing. The dance floor was crowded, but we were standing within perfect sight of where they were. Rose could have been in a music video, Alice looked a little awkward, and Bella was holding her own. I looked at Emmett and Jasper, who were standing next to me, zoned in on _their _girls.

"ET, wipe the drool off of your face," I said snickering.

"Fuck off dude. At least I know what my future holds tonight." He spoke with pure confidence. It was pretty cool to see him still so into Rose.

"So, Jasper. See anything you like?" I asked, in a mocking tone.

"Dude. I spent all day at Bella's on Tuesday and had no idea that her roommate was incredible."

"Likewise. Alice has been cutting my hair forever, and I had no idea that _her_ roommate was incredible." We were acting like total chicks. This Jasper character was turning out to be a good dude.

"I don't know about you homos, but I'm going to go grind on Rose."

Jasper and I looked at each other and shrugged. We all made our way onto the dance floor. It was pretty packed so it took some maneuvering to get to our girls. I had no idea what made me think that Bella was actually mine, but I intended to find a way to make that happen. Maybe once she saw my hot ass dance moves she would have to have me.

It was an automatic pairing when we reached them. Alice and Jasper had an obvious instant connection. Rose and Emmett were a very striking couple. He was a good looking guy and she was super hot. They complimented each other nicely with their blond hair and blue eyes, and were both tall. If they ended up having kids someday, they were sure to be supermodels.

I came up behind Bella as she was dancing. She looked over her shoulder, _the bare one,_ and flashed me a smile that gave me semi-wood. I had never been so attracted to someone in my entire life. I put my hands around her tiny waist and we swayed to the music. Okay swaying to Imma Be, by the Black Eyed Peas was probably a bad description, but we were almost slow dancing to a song with an awesome beat. I was rock hard and pressed up against her. She didn't seem to mind, as she continued to push against me with her ass. If dancing with her was this good, I couldn't even imagine what sex with her would be like. My hand was on her bare shoulder and her skin was flawless. She turned around and our gazes were locked and intense.

We were dancing, if you can call grinding my boner on her leg dancing, like we were the only two people in the room. I had to taste her. I couldn't take it anymore so I put my hand in her hair and pulled her towards me. Our lips met and I could have cum right there. She tasted like mint and salt and tequila. It was an odd mixture and I loved it. Her mouth was warm and inviting.

Our tongues were darting into each others mouths and we barely came up for air. We made out like two teenagers. I could barely catch my breath. You can tell a lot from a kiss, and the chemistry was insane. I wanted to devour her right there on the dance floor. If this went on for much longer either I would burst, or the seams in my new jeans would. The kiss became softer and then came to an end and we ended up making our way back to the group.

I'm sure I looked like a fucking lovestruck pussy because I couldn't get the shit eating grin off of my face. We sat down and I realized that I hadn't checked out her eye. I pulled the strategically placed strands of hair out of the way and was disgusted by what I saw. Her eye was so swollen and still totally purple. I silently vowed to kick the shit out of the fucker who did this. He purposely ran right into her. I did notice that her eye shadow on the other eye matched. Clever.

I was pissed off about it and I still needed to readjust myself, so the guys and I went to the bar to get another round of drinks. That was our equivalent of going to the bathroom together. Do a shot and then give immediate details. Jasper told us that he asked Alice out for lunch the next day. He was pretty pumped up about it and was confident that they were meant for each other. Emmett was surprisingly supportive and they couldn't believe what a small world it was seeing as their girls worked together.

They were eying me waiting for details, and just as I was about to get into it, a familiar smell made me turn around. Tanya was right in front of me. _WHAT. THE. FUCK._ No need to readjust now, my boner just ran for the hills. She could tell by the look on my face that this was not necessarily a good surprise. She put her arm around me and I just stood there in shock. I had a million thoughts running through my head and didn't know what I was going to do. Emmett was glancing uncomfortably back and forth between the bar and our table and Jasper was clueless.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work," I said.

"I did, but we were slow so I got off early," she said like it should be obvious.

"Did you wait in that line?" _How did she get in here? I know her ass wouldn't wait in any line._

"Angela's brother works the door on Fridays," she said like it was no big deal.

Angela was standing next to her. I said hello and proceeded to introduce her to Eric, Ben, Jasper and Emmett. Ben immediately sprung to life and I knew he was definitely interested in finding out more about her. She was a cool girl and had been to my condo several times to study. I wondered what, if anything, she knew about the state of mine and Tanya's relationship.

I made small talk while I paid the tab and tried to figure out what to do next. Emmett was so uncomfortable and if it wasn't because of me, I would have found it amusing. I looked over to the table and saw Rose and Alice walking towards us. Alice was glaring at me and Rose looked at me like I was the biggest scumbag on earth.

Bella wasn't with them so I figured she must have gone to the bathroom. Then it hit me. Girls don't go to the bathroom alone, and Emmett kept his word and did not tell Rose about what happened between Tanya and I. Fuck, she still thought we were together. I mean we still lived together, but I was working on that.

"Where's Bella?" Ben asked.

"She said she wasn't feeling well, so she took off," Rose said, glaring at me.

"Who's Be..." Tanya stopped in mid-sentence and I saw her face turn from puzzled, to complete despair, to pissed off. She dropped her drink and the glass shattered, spraying rum and coke everywhere. I attempted to help her and she pushed me away as if my touch was poisonous. "Don't you dare fucking touch me!" she said loudly.

Everyone was staring wondering what in the hell was going on. "Tanya, not here," I said in an eerily calm tone.

"Why not Edward? Scared people will find out what you did?" _Fuck. This night went from pure Heaven to pure Hell in the blink of an eye. _

"Tanya. Let's get out of here," I said in a panic.

"Fuck you!" she spat. "Why in the hell would I want to get out of here? So we can go _home_ and you can fuck me and then yell out someone _else's _name again! What a fucking liar with the Italian bullshit. Who does that? You are a piece of shit. I guess I know why you don't think this relationship is going anywhere. Couldn't you have just said you met someone else? That's total bullshit. Here I am thinking you just aren't ready and you won't move any further until I get a job. What an dumb ass that makes me." She was pretty hysterical and it was only escalating. People were starting to gather around us and I needed to calm her down. "So much for the **F**idelity, **B**ravery, **I**ntegrity bullshit; you are an ASSHOLE!" She turned and raced for the door.

Angela followed and I didn't know what the fuck to do. My friends were looking at me with embarrassment and pity. Alice and Rose were horrified. I turned and walked out the door.

I woke up the next morning with the stiffest neck possible. I had a headache and was a little hungover. I threw my shirt on and headed down the hall to the bathroom. After I left the bar I went to my office. I didn't think Tanya would go to the condo, but I didn't want to risk running into her after what had transpired. Our office has a conference type room that is filled with several twin beds for times when Agents are working around the clock and need to take a break...or when they get embarrassed by their ex-girlfriend who thought she was still their current girlfriend, and are afraid to go home. I cleaned up and figured I would torture myself some more by going for a run. If nothing else, I loved to run downtown. I threw on some workout clothes that I religiously kept in my office and headed out.

There were so many things I needed to figure out. Here I was trying to do the right thing by letting Tanya live with me instead of just kicking her out, and now she was devastated and hated my guts. I felt like a complete dickhead and was so upset that I hurt her like I did. Not to mention, I was a tiny bit concerned about the current state of my condo.

Then there was Bella. There is no question as to how I felt when I was around her. I couldn't get enough and I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. She was beautiful, obviously one tough cookie, and did I mention beautiful? The fact that I could have cum from merely kissing her was insane in itself.

She obviously left after seeing me with Tanya and since Alice was her best friend she would be obligated to tell her exactly what went down after she left. It was part of the girl code of ethics. I guess it was my own fault. I was too much of a pussy to be a dick. _Wait, what? _ I needed to figure out what to do about the whole situation, but thinking about it over and over was only making my headache worsen.

I was sad for Tanya, but also selfishly sad for myself. I had already lost what I hadn't even had the chance to claim as mine.

**That one was tough. Can you even imagine how embarrassed he would be? Leave me some nice...or even not so nice words! Luvs! maxandmo on twitter**


	10. Bangers

**A big fat smooch to all of you who put this story on your favorites list and alerts. For those of you that took the time to review~~~much luvs!**

**Thanks to lotusblosm and chainedirisheagle for everything:) Secretobsession7 is now my beta!  
**

**Stephenie Meyer owns these guys.**

** ~Chapter 10~Bangers**

** ~~Bella~~**

_A girlfriend. Almost engaged. _Rose's words continuously ran through my head. How could he have a _girlfriend_...that he was going to _marry_?I just didn't understand it. It reminded me of that old saying; if something seems too good to be true, it usually is. I _almost _felt bad for her.

Technically our lunch at the pizzeria wasn't inappropriate because we were in the same field and were working. Technically meeting out the last two Fridays was innocent since we had mutual friends. Technically I was injured so there was a valid reason for flowers. Technically he was an ASSHOLE for kissing me like I had never been kissed in my entire life when he had a fucking girlfriend at home.

The night that began so awesome had turned to shit so fast. I took a cab home. When I got there I made a grilled cheese and popped in Pretty Woman. I needed some comfort and without my mom, that would have to do. I thought of calling Renee but it was late, especially since she lived in Florida. I fell asleep on the couch until I heard Alice clumsily trying to maneuver her away around in the dark.

"Alice."

"Jesus Mother Fuck Bella! You scared the hell out of me." She was practically screeching.

"Sorry." For some reason I couldn't get more than one word responses out of my mouth.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Bella!" She was quickly becoming annoyed.

"Alright." I snickered, as she threw herself on top of me. She gave me the biggest hug and no words were needed. We snuggled up under the blanket and fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, she had already left for work. I had absolutely nothing to do and if I stayed home, I would have gone crazy thinking about the green-eyed asshole.

I threw on some jeans and a hoodie, grabbed my bag, and headed to work. I knew there would be a huge pile of paperwork that I could get done because I hadn't been in the office since Tuesday. It was pretty nice out, so I figured I could take a walk after I got some stuff done. I found a kick ass parking spot seeing as it was Saturday morning, which was a bonus.

My desk had a pile of papers on it that would make the Olympia National Forest cringe. I settled in and wrote a shitload of reports, checked my email, bought a new pair of jeans online, verified some addresses, and returned some calls. I moved the furniture in my office around and closed some files. I checked my supervisor's office for new placements and found five waiting for me. I put them in order of release date and opened the first one.

The offender was getting out of prison in two weeks with no place to live. In the 'old' days they would have to remain in prison until they found someone to take them in. Nowadays they got out regardless. He had an extensive criminal record that went back twenty-five years. He was a criminal longer than I had been alive! Those were the worst. They were hopeless cases for the most part and a ton of work.

The next four consisted of two small time drug dealers, which equaled punks, a car thief, and an armed robber. Always lovely. It was a revolving door. The minute we got someone off of parole there were two more getting out. Job security at its finest.

Now that my work was done, there was nothing left to do but think about last night. How could I have possibly thought that a guy like him could have been into me? There was definitely an attraction and chemistry, but obviously it was way stronger on my end.

When I stopped to think long and hard about it, the situation that is, not his unit, it did make sense that he was taken. I mean let's be real, he was hot, straight, and a federal agent. I thought about how aroused he was when we were dancing. Typical guy. Let them rub up against an ass and it didn't really matter who it belonged to.

As if she could tell I needed to be brought out of my thoughts, my phone vibrated with a text.

**BS~Want to grab dinner when I get off of work? **_Alice thought she was fucking hilarious. My initials were technically IS anyways!_

**I guess. **

**FU. Nothing like showing some excitement.**

**Sorry if I'm not feelin' it today:( **_That was the understatement of the year._

**You got to sleep with me at least;P **_I couldn't help but laugh._

**It was the best I've ever gotten. **_That was pretty much true._

**Meet me here at 6.**

**K**

I was hungry, so I headed across the street to the deli and ordered my favorite turkey wrap. I figured I would eat outside since it was nice out, and my office was only a few blocks from the walking trails and park system. My co-workers and I went there a lot, weather permitting of course. They ran, and I read. It was a beautiful place and I had never been there on a weekend. You could see the ocean surrounded by lush green vegetation and plenty of trees. It was somewhere that always made me happy. After last night I needed to at least enjoy the scenery. I sat on a bench and started to eat my wrap.

There were a few people out walking, a few runners, a couple laying on a blanket and a group of teenagers clustered together laughing and goofing off. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something wasn't quite right. The group of teenagers were suddenly quiet and I noticed a couple of them head for the woods. Weird, they all had matching white t-shirts and blue Nikes on.

As if in slow motion, one of them, a tall skinny kid, ran directly over to the couple's blanket, grabbed a purse that was sitting there, and took off towards the parking lot. The lady started to yell, and as the man got up to head towards the parking lot, one of the teenagers charged at him knocking him to the ground. Two more appeared and started kicking the man in the ribs. The lady continued screaming, and the man was literally getting stomped. No one was paying the least bit of attention to the situation except for me. _Fuck._ I got up and headed over there and was quickly noticed.

"Hey little lady. Want to join in the fun?" one of them said to me.

"Stop it now!" I screamed.

"Make us." He was taunting me and getting closer.

"I said fucking stop!"

"Yum, talk dirty some more."

"I'm Parole Officer Swan and you better get the fuck off of him now."

"What are you going to do shoot me?" He was coming closer and closer. _Think Bella. You can't just shoot him. You already killed a dog this week. Plus your gun is tucked safely away in your night stand. Fuck! _

I had my hands in my hoodie's front pocket and felt for the canister I always kept handy when I came to the park. When he was close enough, I took out my pepper spray and blasted him right in the eyes. He started to scream and swear and lunge at me. I got out of his way, but noticed the other two stop their beat down and head my way. _Shit. _I heard a noise behind me and then a voice.

"Freeze. Don't fucking move. I won't think twice about shooting you."

They immediately stopped and put their hands in the air.

I turned around and there was my knight in cheating armor, who I still wanted to kick in the balls. He was sweaty, disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot, but he was still the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He flashed me a nervous grin and called the police on his cell phone.

The police arrived a few minutes later and took the hoodlums to jail. "Swan, you better watch your back," said the one who I had pepper sprayed. He was flushed red with snot pouring out of is nose.

"Bella. What the fuck are you doing in this park alone...on a Saturday?" he asked, in an irritated tone.

"Why aren't you with your girlfriend ?" I shouted. _An immature response, but too bad he was swearing __at me._

"Seriously? You almost got attacked by the South End Riders and all you can do is make a stupid comment about a girlfriend?"

_What? _Oh, shit. I _had_ heard of them. They were the fastest growing street gang in Seattle. Realization quickly set in. I had just witnessed and then stopped a gang initiation. That explains why they were all wearing the same clothes. I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Everyone knows this park is their hangout on the weekends." He was looking at me like I was an idiot.

"Apparently they don't!" I stood, pointing at the couple. The man was rubbing his side and holding his bloody nose with a t-shirt. "What are _you_ doing here then?"

"I was running and then heard the commotion. Plus, I brought _my _gun."

Our banter was cut short by Officer Meyer, who needed to take my statement. The couple walked over to me and were so grateful. They couldn't tell me enough how thankful they were that I stood up for them. I could feel myself blush and was beginning to get uncomfortable with all of the undue attention. I told them it was my duty as a law enforcement officer to assist when someone needed help. I just happened to leave out the part about forgetting my gun at home. The lady gave me a hug that nearly broke my ribs and they left.

I started to sneak away when I saw a flashbulb go off to my right. I looked in that direction and, fuck me, Lauren Mallory gave me a small wave. I continued walking and planned to make my way back to the state building unnoticed. My back was burning from the intense heat of Edward's stare, but he was stuck giving his statement. I only hoped he wouldn't finish in time to follow me. I wasn't in the mood for some lame ass explanation regarding his personal life. I started this day with plans to avoid thinking about him, which proved futile and then he happened to rescue me from gang bangers. Ugh. This weekend just continued to get shittier.

I could feel Edward behind me before I even got out of the park. I'm sure after the incident he wanted to make sure that I got back to the office safely. After all, I had just pissed off an entire street gang and told them my name for fucks sake. What a rookie mistake. I would have looked a lot tougher with my gun, but the gang banger was right. Was I really going to shoot him? No, definitely not. That would really have been _overkill. _He cleared his throat behind me and I hoped he was nervous.

"Uum, Bella?" He _was_ nervous!

I stopped walking and turned around slowly. "Yes, Edward?"

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" he asked timidly.

"Tell me one reason why I should go anywhere with you?" I said, glaring at him.

"I just saved you from getting banged," he said, with a sexy grin.

"For the second time," I said, under my breath.

Just looking at him was making my heart ache. I did not need to hear how he made a mistake or any other excuses he could have come up with. I knew I would lose all composure and my self pride would not let that happen.

So I said what I thought was best. "Thanks for that. I've had a really shitty week Edward. I shot a dog, my eye looks like it belongs to fucking Barney, and someone, who I thought was great, turned out to be a total ass. I thought maybe I could be productive today and get some work done and then I have to interrupt an initiation. Now an entire gang will be after me, and I am stuck being saved by said ass. I'm really pretty tired and I can't imagine what there is to talk about. So we made out, whatever. I had a lot to drink and we should probably just forget the whole thing ever happened. Don't worry. I'm not going to tell your girlfriend. I'm meeting someone, so I really have to get going. Thanks again for coming to my rescue." I was shaking and didn't want him to see the tears that were forming in my eyes. I gave him a small wave and headed back to my office.

I never looked back. I reached my car, and once I was safely locked inside, I let it all out. Sobs racked my body and it felt good. I cried for the dog that I killed, and because I just saved a man by pepper spraying a gang member, but most of all because I would never get to truly know the man who had stolen my heart with one incredible kiss.

There was still a little time to kill before I had to meet Alice. I flipped on the archaic 19" television set in my bedroom and jumped into the shower. I thought about what I said to Edward. As much as it broke my heart, I was proud of myself for having enough dignity to act like I didn't care and that our kiss was no big deal. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in, um, never, so it wasn't like I could miss what I never had. I would just have to make a conscious effort to forget about the federale. I had enough to do with work and my friends to keep me busy. My thought process sounded good at least. I got out of the shower and was heading back to my room when the sound of the T.V. stopped me dead in my tracks:

"**OVERKILL P.O. OVERSPRAYS GANG MEMBER IN THE PARK, BLACK EYE AND ALL!"**

I sat there horrified as I watched Lauren Mallory report live from the park. What did I do in a previous life to piss off this bitch? She continuously referred back to the dog incident on Tuesday and then, just when I thought she was making me look like a hero, she went on to describe how I needed to be rescued by a _good looking jogger. _She said I went from "Overkill to Over My Head" in less than a week.

I needed tequila, and I needed it bad. All of a sudden I couldn't wait to meet Alice. I got ready and arrived at the salon a little while later. I was early, but I figured maybe Alice could do the cover-eye-hair-thing again. She saw me and waved for me to come to the back where her station was. The first words she said to me put a devious smile on my face.

"Guess who just booked their first appointment with me?" she said, with a smirk.

**I'll give you three guesses! Let me know what you think. If you need something to read check out my favorite stories. I'm sure they are most of your favorites as well, but you never know:)**

**For the record, I have been pepper sprayed and it hurts like a motherfucker!**

**maxandmo on twitter**


	11. Hit 'Wear' it Hurts

**Thanks for your reviews, story alerts etc. **

**Lotusblosm and chainedirisheagle for your continued support.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own FBIward and PO Swan.**

** ~~Chapter 11~~Hit 'Wear' it Hurts**

** ~~Edward~~**

I was punishing myself. I kept running and running. I hadn't run this far since the F.B. I. Academy.

I didn't particularly like to run, but I think I was trying to mask my emotional pain with physical pain. My running led me to the park by the ocean. The trails were pretty cool, winding around the shoreline with forest views. I never really came down here on the weekends, but my co-workers and I would run down here during the week sometimes. I had heard that a new street gang called the South End Riders hung out here on weekends. Our gang unit was constantly talking about them and how they were just a bunch of punks who thought they ruled the world, or at least Seattle. They were very unorganized and were involved in low level drug dealing. As I was running I noticed a group of them huddled together, but the rest of the park wasn't very crowded.

My mind started drifting to Bella...and Tanya. I was wondering what was going on in my condo. Had

Tanya started to move out? What if she hadn't? What if she took all of my stuff, or worse yet, trashed my closet? If I wasn't such a pussy, I would be at home right now instead of wondering what was going on there. I desperately needed to figure out what to do about Bella. I needed to talk to her. She had to know that I had ended it with Tanya before we kissed. She needed to know what that kiss meant to me. I also needed to stop thinking about that kiss, and quick. It was hard to run with a boner. My calves were starting to cramp so I stopped running and started to stretch them out. I looked across the park and noticed a commotion where the gang members were. What I saw almost made me sick. I could see a couple of them beating a guy up. Their typical initiation was to beat up an innocent person, or commit some sort of crime in order to become a member. _Shit. What the fucking hell? _As I was about to make my way over to them, someone else had the same idea. I could hear a girl screaming at the group of gang bangers. She looked familiar, but I was pretty far away. Against the wishes of my calves, I started to run towards them as fast as I could. I couldn't believe my eyes. The beautiful girl was in the park yelling at the South End Riders! She pulled out her pepper spray and let one of them have it. I reached her just as the other two were getting closer. _What the hell was she doing in this park on a weekend...alone?_ I was pissed off, but pretty proud of her at the same time. I had no idea why she didn't have her gun drawn...unless of course she didn't have it with her. I pulled my gun out and told the scumbags to freeze. She turned around and looked at me and I sucked in a deep breath. Even in the midst of a crisis, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I could tell she was nervous, scared, and relieved as hell that I was there to back her up. I had to admit I found it hot that she had just taken on a gang. I did not find it hot when one of them told her to watch her back. It pissed the hell out of me and I took it out on her. Maybe it was insensitive, I mean she did just save a man from a gruesome beating, but she could have gotten herself seriously hurt. The police came and did their business, and the couple continued to profusely thank us. I told them to stay out of this park on the weekends, to which they vigorously shook their heads in understanding. I could tell Bella was becoming uncomfortable and was trying to sneak away from the situation, and from me. I had no choice but to follow her out of the park. I needed to talk to her and make sure that she was O.K.

What she said next almost brought my dumb ass to tears. I was one sensitive motherfucker. I just didn't let many people know it. I thought we had such an intense connection, yet I was apparently the only one who thought so. The kiss that made it into my dreams, and was by far the most incredible kiss of my life meant nothing to her. She blamed the whole thing on being drunk. I was so deep into my thought process that when she referred to my girlfriend in present tense I didn't even realize it until it was too late. How could I have misread the situation so badly? I was trained to read people and somehow I couldn't guess her thoughts at all. She was not interested in talking to me and she made that quite clear by the way she tilted her chin up in a defiant gesture and walked off. In hindsight I probably should have followed her, but I was still trying to digest the fact that she thought our kiss was a mistake. And I couldn't help but wonder who she was in such a hurry to meet.

I sulkily made my way back to my office. I jumped in the shower and kept torturing myself by replaying our conversation in my head. I needed to explain myself, even if she didn't give a crap. I stayed in there until I was all fucking pruney and the water was tepid. I threw on some running pants and a long sleeved t-shirt that I had in my office. I checked my messages and email and was pretty much just stalling for time. I got online and went to the local news station's website. The first thing to show up was Bella with her pepper spray in hand. Her full name and occupation was listed and they briefly got into the dog incident. Great. The article was written in such a way that it seemed as if she was mocking the South End Riders. It barely mentioned that she saved a man but did mention that a man had saved her. Fuck. She was going to be pissed. Emmett had filled me in on how she worked extra hard to prove herself in a 'man's' world. Not cool. She may have acted impulsively, but if it wasn't for her bravery that man would be in the hospital right now. I wondered if she had seen it and how she was doing. I wanted desperately to call her but she made it quite clear that she was fine, and I didn't have her number. O.K., so it would take me all of 30 seconds to get it but I really didn't want to creep her out. I decided to call Jasper later and he could find out about her from Alice.

The route I took home was the longest possible. I was trying to figure out how I was so wrong about Bella and also was in no rush to get home. Tanya and I ended on bad terms and Bella didn't want anything to do with me. It was a total lose, lose situation. As I pulled onto my street I got butterflies, the bad kind, in anticipation of seeing Tanya's car in the driveway. Luckily it wasn't. I took a deep breath and opened the front door. Nothing looked out of the ordinary so far. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and downed it in a couple of huge gulps and tentatively made my way upstairs. I walked into my bedroom and almost started to hyperventilate! There were clothes thrown all over my room. I headed into my overly anal closet with dread. The bitch had taken every last article of clothing off of the hangers. I looked to my hand crafted shelves and found them empty. Not my shoes! My collection of shoes could rival Lindsay Lohan's. Every single pair was dumped out of their respective boxes and strewn all over the place. She even smashed the fucking boxes. Boxes that I had alphabetized by designer and even had pictures of the shoes taped on the outside. Tanya knew me well enough to hit me where it hurt. Just when I thought I had seen the end of her rage I looked to the corner of the closet. There was a pile of jeans sitting there and I only hoped they fell that way when she threw them. As I walked closer I smelled something I couldn't quite place. I picked up the Seven For All Mankind jeans that I had just bought and noticed white spots all over them. As I picked up the other four pairs I noticed the same thing. She had completely ruined my five most expensive pairs of jeans. She knew that my jeans were my most prized possessions. I looked around the rest of the closet and noticed that nothing of hers was left hanging there. At least that was a bonus. I walked into the bathroom and found an empty container of bleach. That explains the smell and white spots. The jeans were trashed unless of course acid washed came back into style. I wasn't going to hold my breath. I looked around the bathroom and all of Tanya's stuff was gone. There was a strong smell coming from the trash can. As I looked inside I noticed my brand new bottle of Ed Hardy cologne had been shattered. I took a closer look and noticed some sort of white and pink box underneath. The box seemed familiar but it didn't look like anything that belonged to me. I didn't feel like getting cut so I turned away and inspected the rest of the bathroom. All clear.

I walked back into my bedroom and sat on my bed. I should have figured that I wouldn't get out of this situation unscathed. I took maybe a hundred deep breaths trying to clear my head and gain some composure. I shut my eyes and instantly had visions of my Harley. _Oh shit. _ I ran downstairs and into the garage as fast as my feet would carry me. What I saw brought me to my knees. There, on the gas tank of my _baby, _was the word 'cheater' neatly carved with the knife that was sitting on top of the leather seat that had been shredded to bits.

_Motherfucker!_ Before I could throw up, cry, or freak the fuck out I heard my doorbell. I was definitely not in the mood for a solicitor or a pushy Jehovah's Witness right now. I told my_ baby_ I would be right back (yes, I talk to my motorcycle) and headed to the door. The doorbell rang again and as I reached the door I yanked it open angrily with a deep scowl on my face. Never in a million years did I expect to see the beautiful girl staring me in the face.

**He's going to have to go shopping. Let me know what you think. Luvs:) **


	12. Hot & Juicy Revelations

**Stephenie Meyer owns them. **

**Thanks for all of your luv! chainedirisheagle and Lotusblosm rock! Thanks to my F.I.L. For proofing, and secretobsession7 for being my beta!**

***Lemons...yummy yummy lemons...do not read if you can't legally vote!**

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** ~~Chapter 12~Hot & Juicy Revelations~~**

** ~Bella~**

Alice promised me that she would take care of Lauren Mallory's hair...and not in a good way. I loved my friend. She was willing to put her reputation on the line for vengeance. We walked across the street to my favorite Mexican restaurant who also happened to serve the strongest margaritas. We opted to sit at a table and not at the bar because Alice told me we had to talk. She was acting a little weird and almost uncomfortable. I found it strange since she usually was so upbeat and happy. The first sip of my drink made me cringe. Wow, I would be feeling no pain very soon.

"So, Bella. How was your day?" she asked shyly.

Why was she looking at me with a sort of pity? "Where to begin, Al. Never a dull moment here. First of all, I went to work because the thought of hanging out all day by myself wasn't appealing. I took lunch to the park down by the ocean that I've told you about and apparently it is a gang haven on the weekends." I stopped to take a breath, and before she could interrupt I continued. "I was minding my own business when all of a sudden a couple of gang members stole a lady's purse and then started to stomp the shit out of her boyfriend when he stood up for her. I couldn't just stand there and watch, so I went over and ended up pepper spraying one of them. The other two started to come towards me and you will never guess who appeared out of nowhere to save the day. Go ahead and guess." I was nearly shouting because I was getting so worked up talking about it. Alice's eyes were nearly bugging out of her head and she stayed silent. "F.B.I. two timing fucking Edward. That's who!" I tipped my glass and drained my entire margarita in one big gulp. I motioned to the bartender to bring us two more drinks.

"Here you go girls," the bartender said in a cheerful accented voice. His name was Laurent and he was currently working himself through nursing school. He was originally from the U.S. Virgin Islands and crazily enough wanted a change of scenery. We were pretty much regulars and he treated us as such.

"Bella! What the hell were you doing in that park on a weekend all by yourself! That's reckless as hell!" _Even Alice knew about the park? What rock have I been living under._ "You could have gotten yourself in serious trouble. Thank God Edward happened to be there," she said in a lecturing manner.

"That's basically what he said." I was hanging my head in embarrassment.

"Well, he's right, and it's _he_ that I wanted to talk to you about. Did you guys talk at all?"

"He tried, but I beat him to it and did what was best."

"Bella, what exactly did you say to him?" Alice asked, nervously.

"I told him that he didn't need to worry because I wouldn't tell his girlfriend that we kissed, and that it didn't mean anything anyways," I said, rather proud of myself.

"Oh no!" she shouted.

"What?" I was definitely confused.

"Bells, something happened after you left that I think you need to hear."

I stared at her and motioned for her to continue.

"After you left Rose and I walked over to the bar. Someone asked where you went and Tanya, Edward's um...anyways, she freaked the fuck out when she heard _your _name. Apparently, he said your name when they were um...doing it. He claimed he was speaking Italian or some bullshit, and then he told her he didn't see their relationship going any further. Bella, don't you see. He is interested in YOU!" She was talking non-stop and my mouth was hanging open.

"Alice he had sex with someone recently. Rose said they were almost engaged. So he may _think_ about me, but that definitely does not mean he is interested in _being_ with me."

"He had sex with someone but was thinking about _you_ when he was doing it. That most definitely means he IS into you. He told her they weren't going any further. That means they broke up. Rose just didn't know."

As if on cue, Rose walked into the restaurant. She headed over to our table and sat down. "Did you tell her?" she asked Alice.

"Yep, but she still doesn't believe me." They were talking about me like I wasn't even there.

"Hi Bella. I owe you an apology, but at the time I was very uncomfortable because I had no idea they were in the process of breaking up. Emmett was sworn to secrecy and that fuckwad thought that meant he wasn't supposed to tell me." She was dead serious. "Emmett spilled his guts on the way home, and the contents of his dinner, but I don't want to go there right now."

I knew better than to fuck with Rose, so I kept my mouth shut and let her continue.

"Edward has had the hots for you since the first night he met you. He is a private person and Emmett only found out when they went to lunch and Demetri asked about you. Edward came clean and told him about his attraction to you. Apparently, Tanya and Edward had 'the talk' and it did not go the way she expected. He told her that he didn't see their relationship going anywhere but he didn't want her to think it was because of someone else, hence the reason he made up the Italian bullshit. He never factored in that she would hear about you. She made quite a scene and embarrassed the fuck out of him."

Oh my gosh, could he really be interested in me? Maybe I wasn't exaggerating the intensity of our kiss. My mind was reeling at their revelations.

"Oh, shit. You guys. I totally blew him off when he wanted to talk to me. After he practically saved my life and most probably my born again virginity!" I said exasperatedly.

Alice filled Rose in on the events of the day as I sat there and drained my second margarita. Rose started to crack up and found it so funny that she actually snorted. I gave her a dirty look and started to giggle with her. Not that taking on a gang was something to laugh about, but the margaritas were helping me along.

"Do you guys know where he lives?" I asked, with a new set of brass balls that I had just gotten from Jose Cuervo.

They looked at me with amusement and then Rose answered. "Yep. I've dropped Emmett off there quite a few times. I have to warn you, she lives there too."

"Oh," I said, crestfallen.

"I'm willing to bet not anymore," Alice said with a grin. "Shall we?"

We got into Alice's Audi and Rose directed her to Edward's.

"Al, shit, I forgot to ask you about your lunch with Jasper," I said apologetically.

"That's okay, Bella. You had a pretty busy day. I forgive you for not thinking of my lunch date when you almost got gang banged," she said, sweetly.

I stuck my tongue out and gave her the finger.

"He is incredible. We talked about everything and have so much in common. I'm going to spend tomorrow with him. The weather is supposed to be nice so we are going to have a picnic by the ocean. We will _not _be going to the park you went to though."

"Wench," I said, with a smile.

We pulled up to a condo complex in a rather upscale neighborhood. The condos were attached and all looked the same. They were a darker brick with forest green shutters on all of the windows, and they each had an attached two car garage. There were four steps to get to the front door. They looked classy, yet homey at the same time. I took a deep breath and was just about to chicken out when Alice turned around and nodded to me.

"He needs you," she said, knowingly.

Her ESP was getting a little annoying, but most of the time she was dead on. I opened the car door and stepped out. I forgot to take drive time into consideration and didn't quite realize that the tequila effect would be on in full force. My legs weren't working right and I fell to my knees.

"Ow, fuck!" I yelled angrily. I grabbed onto the side of the car and pulled myself up. The girls were laughing so hard that Alice had snot coming out of her nose and Rose was holding her crotch in order not to pee. "Glad you find me so amusing bitches!"

I looked down and my knees were a bloody mess. Just great. As if I didn't have enough scars. I gave them one last dirty look and made my way to the door. I threw all caution to the wind and rang the doorbell. Fuck, I totally forgot to take into consideration that Tanya may indeed still live there, and may even answer the door.

I had the Jehovah's Witness act down pat. The guys at work would often make me act like one in order to get some unsuspecting criminal to open the door. I was hoping that this Tanya chick wasn't so observant because would a Jehovah's Witness really be ringing the doorbell half in the bag with bloody knees and no Watchtower? Not so much. Before I could let logic get in the way of my mission my hand got a mind of its' own and rang once more.

The door was yanked open and I thought it might fall off the hinges. Yikes. Edward was standing there with the foulest look on his face. Before I could dart back to the car, the look on his face warmed up and he looked like a little kid on Christmas morning.

He was staring at me with shock, amusement, and excitement, but didn't say a word.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he said back.

"Hi." _Really. I couldn't think of anything less lame to say!_

His mouth formed into the lop-sided sexy grin that I already loved. He looked me over from head to toe and his grin turned into a grimace. "Bella, why are your knees bleeding?"

Oh hell. I had forgotten all about them. "Shit, I forgot." I looked down at them and they were indeed bloody and full of dirt. "I may have just fallen out of Alice's car because I may have also had a couple of margaritas." I gave him what I thought to be my most dazzling smile, as he motioned for me to come inside. I looked behind me and gave Alice a thumbs up sign and saw her drive off.

Once inside it finally dawned on me that I just showed up at _his _door unannounced. My tequila balls were wearing off, and I wondered if he had a secret stash I could accidentally on purpose stumble upon.

"So...um...I'm going to go and get you some band-aids," he said nervously.

He was still so nervous and it was so flipping cute. He headed up the stairs and I took a look around. His condo was decorated to the nines. The great room had a brown leather sectional with wrought iron end tables and several pieces of mosaic art on the walls. The only personal effect was a black and white photo on the end table of Edward with a strikingly handsome man and a woman who could have passed for an older sister. I could only assume that these beautiful people were his parents. There was so much I couldn't wait to find out about him.

I wandered into the kitchen only to find it incredible. I could really bake some shit up in this place. The counter tops were granite and the appliances were stainless steel. The place was modern, but felt comfortable at the same time. I was so in awe of the viking stove that I didn't hear him come up behind me. He touched my hair and I could feel the electricity pass though my entire body. I turned around and he held up the bandages.

I knew there was a lot we had to discuss, but I didn't exactly know where or how to start. I sat down on one of the bar stools in the kitchen and let him attend to my knees. He wiped them gently with a washcloth and applied the bandages. I have never had an injury feel like an erotic experience in my life. I was nearly panting and at the same time thanking God that I had shaved my legs. Now that would have been a nightmare.

Just his presence made me giddy. He was so beautiful and made one hell of a care taker as well. I wanted to grab a handful of his delicious hair and pull him on top of me. His hands found themselves on my thighs and I was mentally cheering that I had decided to wear a skirt. Who would have thought that bloody knees paved the way for his long and lean fingers to be rubbing little circles on my thighs?

If he was unsure about my state of arousal, all he had to do was look at my chest. I had on a long sleeve fitted t-shirt with a cotton bra underneath. My nipples could have cut glass. He raised his eyes to mine, and because I was still a little tipsy, I put my hand on his shoulders and pulled him towards me.

Our lips met and he was absolutely delicious. He tasted of beer and mint, and his mouth was warm and inviting. We were kissing frantically. I leaned forward and the next thing I knew he fell backwards onto the floor with me on top of him. _Oops... _I was awkwardly straddling him with my skirt and was ever thankful that I had avoided my granny panties in favor of cheeky boy shorts.

He had a surprised look on his face but was grinning. I leaned forward with my hands on his shoulders and started to kiss his neck. I vowed to find out what type of cologne he wore, I thought for the second time since I met him. I continued to kiss his neck moving upwards until I reached his ear. I lightly blew in it and then bit his earlobe. He took in a sharp breath and his hands wrapped themselves around my waist.

My lips found their way to his and I plastered them with soft kisses. I took his bottom lip between my teeth and bit down gently. My tongue grazed his top lip and I could feel his hardness beneath me. My hips had a mind of their own and began to grind against his manliness. His hands went from my waist to my ass in an instant. He had a firm grip on my cheeks with just my panties in the way and was pulling me even tighter against him.

"Can you feel that, Bella? That is how much I want YOU," he said, huskily.

I raised my head and looked him dead in the eyes. "I want you just as much or I wouldn't be here," I replied, honestly.

I could feel myself getting wetter by the moment. Hopefully there wouldn't be a wet spot on his running pants. I grabbed his hair and assaulted his mouth again. Our tongues moved in perfect sync with our humping. I swore if this went on for much longer I would let him take me right there on the kitchen floor. My knees were freaking killing me, but the pain couldn't compete with the want I had for that man. He continued to knead my ass and began to kiss my neck down to my collarbone. I felt my desire grow to the point of release. He kissed my ear and then lightly started to whisper in it. At the same time he told me I was his beautiful girl, I came with a frenzy.

"Oh. My. Edward," I gasped. I collapsed on top of him and was totally content at the sound of his beating heart.

Reality quickly set in. We were on the kitchen floor, my knees were throbbing, and I just came from dry humping. I felt euphoric and wanted to do a jig, but instead I slowly eased my way off of him. I wasn't sure the correct route to take.

He was still hard, which was obvious by the tent he was pitching, and I wasn't sure what I should do about it. I mean I wasn't a total ho. I at least knew his last name, but we had not been on a real date yet. I usually tried to avoid touching pee pee's for a little while, but I did get _my_ release. An eye for an eye and all that bullshit. I may have only had actual intercourse with one guy, but I did have some experience with fooling around. Edward seemed near perfect so far and I wanted, no needed, to know if that included the parts I hadn't yet seen. I held out my hand and helped him up. I guided him into the great room and onto the couch.

The look on his face was lustfully dangerous. My mind was quickly trying to set my body's limits. I reached my hand into the waist of his pants. _Please don't disappoint. _My hand found its' way into his boxer briefs and found what it was searching for. I grasped the most perfect feeling shaft in all of America. His cock was throbbing. My fingers felt along the tip and were greeted with warm wetness. I spread it along the tip and slid my hand down his shaft. I could just barely get my index finger and thumb to touch as I grasped it.

I needed to see this. I pulled his pants down with my other hand and he helped me along. Holy hell. I heard fireworks in my head and a choir started to sing. He had the most incredible dick ever. I almost let out a giggle but caught myself in time. I'm sure he would get the wrong idea if I fucking laughed after seeing his goods for the first time. He looked sexy as fuck. His cock was straight, and long, and thick, and perfect. I wanted to give thanks in a silent prayer but that would have probably been inappropriate.

I needed to focus and make him cum before my body broke my mind's rules and ripped the rest of his clothes off, followed by my own. I cupped his balls with my free hand and continued to stroke him firmly. His breath began to get irregular and I knew he was getting close. I increased my speed and continued to put more pressure down below. He grunted and his body started to convulse. I covered the tip with my hand so there wouldn't be a mess, and reveled in his orgasm.

"I needed to properly thank you for saving me from a gang banging," I said, with a smirk, as I headed to the bathroom.

**A/N: I'm heading to bed in hopes I can dream about Edward's perfect privates:)**

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	13. Cherry KoolAid & Bitchy Pillows

**Thank you to all of you that put this story on alert and even made it one of your favorites! I love reviews too ya know. **

**Lotusblosm and chainedirisheagle rock. Thanks to my federale for not giving me too much shit for spending all my free time writing, and my F.I.L. for proofing.**

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** ~Chapter 13- Cherry Kool-Aid & Bitchy Pillows~**

** ~~Edward~~**

In the midst of a clothing crisis and motorcycle tragedy, my beautiful girl showed up and gave me hand job. A _hand_ job. Normally I would have laughed out loud if a girl tried that. I mean I wasn't in fucking high school. However, getting her off by merely dry humping was definitely promising. Her ass felt so incredible and it's a wonder I didn't cum also. I appreciated her reciprocation and had to respect the fact that she had obvious boundaries.

The hand job felt incredible, especially after the endless making out and dry humping. The sound she made when she came was sexy as all get out. I was happy she wasn't a screamer. I preferred a low soft moan. The way she said my name was hot too. I mean come on, if a girl can say 'Edward' sexily, then she's definitely a keeper.

I got dressed while she was in the bathroom. Now back to reality. We had to talk and I figured it was as good of a time as any to show her what Tanya had done. If nothing else, that would prove things were over between us. Bella walked out of the bathroom limping. Oh, shit her knees had to be on fire. I could see blood through the bandages. Having her straddle me on the kitchen floor was probably not the greatest idea as far as they were concerned. Stopping it was out of the question though. I would never look at my kitchen the same again.

"So, they hurt, huh?"

"Um, yeah, just a little." She was smiling.

"Let's go into the kitchen," I said, and got off of the couch. "I need a drink and you need some ice packs."

I grabbed two ice packs out of the freezer and tossed them to her. I have to admit it was a little test to see if she could catch. She caught them both and sat down at the kitchen table. I fucking loved skirts. She opened her legs so she could get the ice packs to stay put and I caught a glimpse of her purple panties. Here I was trying to cop a glance when I had just gotten done copping a feel. This girl was making me lose my cool for sure.

"Edward, what are you looking at?" _Fuck, she saw me. _

All I could do was shrug my shoulders and hide inside the refrigerator. I grabbed the pitcher of cherry Kool-Aid and got out one of my souvenir Mariners cups. "Would you like a drink?"

"Sure. Is that Kool-Aid?" she asked in awe. "Please tell me it's cherry."

"Yep. It sure is." I got out a matching cup and filled it up for her. As I handed it to her, she grinned.

"I love the Mariners." She raised it up and drank it down in one gulp. She must have been thirsty. Before I could question her she said it was her absolute favorite drink of all time. Awe, it was mine too! _Get a grip cheese dick. _I cleared my throat so I could collect my thoughts and figure out how to bring up the disaster that I now called my upstairs.

"Be.."

"Ed.."

We spoke at the same time, and then I told her to go first.

"I am sorry for what happened in the park. You saved the day, which was embarrassing to begin with, and I just couldn't take hearing you say that our kiss was a mistake. Instead, I thought I would beat you to the punch and, as Jamie Foxx would say, blame it on the alcohol. I met up with Alice and Rose and they filled me in on what happened after I left Volturi. I am so sorry that you were embarrassed in public like that because of me." She looked dead serious and was fidgeting like crazy.

"Bella, are you kidding me right now? You have no reason to apologize for anything that happened. You did nothing wrong. I hurt Tanya and I feel really bad about it but I knew there was no future with her. I was just trying to let her down easy and not stress her out in her last few months of school. You are not to blame for what happened, and it's not totally your fault that I find you so beautiful." I grinned at her like the pussy whipped dickwad I was quickly becoming. I hadn't even come anywhere near that part of her...yet, and she already had me by the balls. I watched her blush and then chew on her bottom lip.

"For the record Edward, if we had sex and you said another girl's name, I would have to seriously beat your ass."

I was taking a sip of my drink when she said that and ended up spitting Kool-Aid out of my nose. She giggled, and I even heard a snort as I wiped my face off.

"Bella, w_hen_ we have sex, I promise I will only be thinking of you." I walked over to her and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. I watched as her nipples responded and was happy to tease her. "I need you to see something. It may explain the look on my face when you first got here."

I took the ice packs from her and held out my hand for her to take. I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder and carried her upstairs. We entered my room and I set her down.

"Brace yourself. This is a total nightmare." I turned her around and she gasped as she saw the destruction.

"Edward, what in the hell? Tanya did _this? _I am so sorry."

"Yep. I knew she was pissed, but I never imagined she would go psycho."

She walked into the closet and I heard a gasp as she must have stumbled upon the pile of jeans. "Holy shit, she fucked up your True Religions? Oh no! Not your Seven for All Mankinds, and your MEKs too?" I could hear her moaning and was pleased that she seemed to share my admiration for jeans.

She came out of the closet holding the pile of jeans with such a sad look on her face. She made her way over to me and gave me a hug.

"This is a tragedy! I am holding a small fortune in my hands right now! Oh, and we have to get you a shoe rack to put on the shelf in your closet now that your boxes are trashed. Damn. What a mess."

"If you think this is bad, just wait," I said, with a grimace.

"There's more? What could possibly be worse?" she asked.

I looked at her and motioned for her to follow me downstairs. We made our way into the garage and I flipped on the light.

"You have a Harley!" she said, excitedly. "Road Kings are awesome."

She knew what kind of bike I had. That was hot. "Well, I won't have one for a while."

She walked over to it and gasped. She was muttering incoherently and I could tell she was pissed.

"What the fuck? This is crazy. I can't believe someone would actually do this. I know you loved her and all, but she's one crazy bitch."

"Bella. I never loved her. That was the problem. It was a relationship of convenience. We never even really saw each other that much anymore. I was really surprised to learn that she thought we had a future. I never even asked her to move in with me. I was at the academy for four months and asked her if she could keep an eye on the place. She started to hang out here more and more and then ended up moving her clothes in. When I got home she told me that her lease had expired and she had been living here for a month. I liked her fine and didn't want to just kick her out, so I let it go. Bella, I knew I didn't want her, but that fact became crystal clear the day I met you. I have never felt such an attraction to someone in my entire life."

She walked over to me and put her arms around my neck. "What can I do to make this better?"

"Where to start?" I said, with a teasing tone. She rolled her eyes and then flicked me in the neck. "How about going with me to see the Mariners tomorrow?"

"Seriously? Hell yes!" she said enthusiastically.

"I have four tickets. I was going to ask Emmett, Jasper and a guy from work, but now you can decide who gets the boot."

"How about asking Jasper and Alice?" she said with a knowing look.

"Sounds like a plan."

_Was she excited about going with me, or just about the game in general? Either way I guess it's cool she wanted to go to a baseball game._

We walked back inside and she offered to help me clean up. I have to say I was nervous. I didn't think she needed to know just how anal I was this soon. I took some deep breaths and hoped for the best. Lucky for me she started to pick up the shoe boxes and left the clothes to me.

"Did you want me to save your pictures? Maybe you could put them in a photo album," she said, with a smirk.

"Smart ass!" I yelled to her. "Just put them in a pile please." I wasn't sure what to do with them.

I put all of the clothes that belonged on hangers in one pile and made another pile that needed to be folded and put on shelves. She had collected all of the smashed boxes and put them in a pile.

I looked over at her and caught her mid-yawn. "Hey, do you want me to take you home?" Her face fell, and I was confused. "Okay, maybe not." I muttered.

This day was definitely taking a toll on me, I just sounded like a dick and didn't even mean to.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't meant to sound bitchy, but I saw you yawn and thought you may want to go to bed." _Bitchy? Fuck._

She was giggling and I looked at her dumbfounded. "Really Edward? Bitchy!" She was laughing so hard she snorted.

As if it was a natural response, I picked up a pillow and threw it at her.

"Oh, you're dead meat." She picked it up and whipped it at me.

"That was a pretty good throw...for a girl," I said with mock surprise.

That really set her off and we continued the battle until we were both spent and laughing hysterically. We ended up on the floor, and by some stroke of luck, my fluffy down pillows were right underneath us. I rolled to face her and our gazes locked. I gently placed a stray lock of hair behind her ear and kept my hand on her cheek.

"Bella, I am so happy you came over tonight. I can't believe I've managed to have fun despite the nightmare that I came home to."

She was staring at me shyly and I could tell something was on her mind. "When Alice and Rose told me what happened, I felt like I had to come here because you weren't the 'dog' that I thought you were."

"Well that's good seeing as I know what happened to the last dog that pissed you off," I said jokingly.

"Ha ha," she said dryly. "Seriously, I had you pinned as this awful, cheater playboy. I felt like shit for the way I treated you at the park and I guess...I um _justwantedtoseeyou_."

I pulled her towards me and ran my tongue over her bottom lip. "You taste so good. I'm glad you got to see me," I said with a smile.

The double meaning was not lost on her. I could see her roll her eyes even though our lips were locked. We continued to kiss softly and then fell into a comfortable position cuddling. Yeah, we cuddled. I could hear her breathing get deeper and I realized she had fallen asleep. I pulled the comforter off of the bed, and then yanked my blanket free, covering us. We spent our first night together on the floor in the middle of total and complete chaos, and all I could do was smile.

**Awww. I would love to cuddle...and do other things to FBIward. **

**Let me know what you think! I'm addicted to reviews:) maxandmo on Twitter**


	14. Hot Mess

**Thanks to Lotusblosm and chainedirisheagle for your support and guidance! FIL rocks! I am so lucky to have secretobsession7 as my beta! **

**Love the reviews and am thrilled people are reading this! I do check...all...the...time:)**

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**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight...**

** ~Chapter 14~Hot Mess**

** ~~Bella~~**

I was in a semi-conscious state, felt trapped and very, very hot. A funny smell was penetrating my senses, and I wondered what in the hell Alice was doing. As I opened my eyes and struggled to get up, I couldn't quite figure out what was hampering the process. I looked to the source of the massive heat and realized that I was indeed trapped...by a well muscled and hairy leg.

Last night came back to me in a flash. I was in Edward's bedroom sleeping with HIM on the floor. The scent of bleach mixed with some sort of cologne lingered in the air. I needed to go to the bathroom like nobody's business, but I had to figure out how to move the monster appendage first. I shimmied my way out from underneath him and made my way to the potty. I did my thing, which was pee, and found a tube of toothpaste to do the finger brush thingy so that I could nuzzle the beautiful sleeping federale without grossing him out.

My hair looked like I had been electrocuted. I smoothed it with my fingers and pulled it up in a ponytail. Good enough. As I looked in the mirror I noticed that my eye was now the loveliest shade of green.I took a closer look and felt like an overly hormonal high school asshole. I had a sucker bite on my neck. I was going to kick his beautiful ass. As sick as it may seem, I stared at it and was suddenly proud. I thought about even taking a picture of it.

The smell of cologne in there was making my eyes water and I even sneezed. _Where is that coming from_? I followed my nose to the trash can and saw a shattered bottle of cologne inside, on top of some sort of box, and a few papers. That crazy bitch didn't miss a thing. I was happy it wasn't the smell that I loved, because I was currently about to gag.

I made my way back to his bedroom and figured I should at least text Alice to let her know I was okay...well, way better than okay, but that would have to be told in person. No text could do his penis justice.

**Al- I'm still at Edward's. Want 2 go 2 the Mariners game? Get Jazz and head over here later. Bring me some baseball clothes. **

**B- No shit. That's where I took you. Yes. See you soon. Jazz 'came' over last night. Hope you had an Omazing night;)**

She was definitely going to want details. I got back into our bed on the floor and cuddled up next to him. He looked so peaceful and had a smile on his face as he slept. I started to lightly run my fingers up and down his arm and across his shoulder. He let out a soft moan that made my lady parts salute. I continued the movements, as he obviously enjoyed the feeling. He draped his free arm around me and pulled me close.

"Mm, beautiful. You feel so good," he whispered sleepily.

"Morning, Edward," I said shyly.

"That was the best sleep I've gotten in awhile. We will definitely have to do that again."

"Sounds like a plan." I was glad that we stayed on the floor. I didn't want thoughts of _her_ to ruin anything I was experiencing with _him. _That had been _their _bed much too recently for me to feel comfortable with.

"Bella, I am planning on going shopping for all new bedding very soon." It was if he could read my mind. "I want you to feel comfortable here and once this mess is cleaned up, I hope that you will."

"Thank you Edward. That's very considerate."

I ran my fingers through his hair and placed my lips to the side of his neck. He was warm and totally manly. He placed his hands in my hair and took out my ponytail. I was nervous about the bird's nest he was going to see, but at least I had eaten some toothpaste. I continued to kiss his neck and moved on to his chin and then took his bottom lip between my teeth, lightly tugging. I could tell he was apprehensive, and I wondered for a minute if he regretted having me here.

My thoughts didn't have time to continue as he rolled me onto my back and pinned my arms above my head. He was straddling me and looked at me with such intensity. I couldn't help but smile into his green eyes. I was still having such a hard time believing this man could actually be interested in me.

He leaned forward and kissed my neck, and I shivered. I could feel my nipples respond, and all I could think of was what a great way to start the day. His kisses made their way down my neck to my collarbone. He still had my hands above my head, and I manged to intertwine our fingers.

He continued downward and made his way to my chest. This man was driving me insane. He lightly grazed my breasts with his face and then bit my nipple through my shirt. I never realized my 'girls' could be so sensitive. The next thing I knew I was arching my back upwards, giving him easier access. He continued to tease me, and I let out what sounded like a growl. He looked at me and gave me the entirely too-cute, lopsided grin.

My heart was beating so hard I thought it would jump out of my chest. I was aching and longing for more and was ecstatic when he made his way to my waist. He pulled my shirt up and began leaving a trail of kisses up my stomach until he reached my breast. He took my nipple into his mouth and sucked on it. He swirled his tongue back and forth, and I had never felt this good in my entire life.

As if he didn't want to leave out my other one, he made his way over to it by another trail of kisses. He took it into his mouth and sucked harder. I couldn't help but moan. He was driving me crazy. I was mentally wrestling with my morals trying to decide how far this should go...today. His intense nuzzling of my breasts was cut short by the sound of a doorbell in the distance. He grumbled incoherently and began to stand.

"Who in the hell could that be?" he wondered out loud.

"Oh, I texted Alice about the game and told her to come over _later,_ " I said, in frustration.

"Do you mind getting it?" He looked down and pointed to his very hard manly thing. "I need a few minutes. Plus, I need to brush my teeth so I can kiss you."

I was very proud of myself for having that effect on him, and also relieved that he did in fact want to kiss me. I skipped down the stairs with a stupid grin. Alice would know the minute she saw me that something went down. I grabbed the doorknob and swung it open shouting, "I told you _later_!"

I was instantly horrified. Standing in front of me, with dumbfounded looks on their faces, was the beautiful couple from the picture on Edward's table. My jaw dropped, and I wished with everything that I could curl up and disappear. I couldn't find my voice, and I just stood there staring at them. I was a hot mess. My shirt was wrinkled, my hair probably had birds nesting in it and my knees were covered with bloody bandages. Not to mention the love bite coupled with the now green eye. I surely looked like a crack whore. _Edward, bring down your gun and shoot me now._

"Mom, dad, what a surprise." Edward was behind me. _Thank God! _ I could not get my body and brain to work together and was just standing there looking like a total floozy.

"Hello, dear. We figured we would stop by on our way home from church. Your father told me we should call first, but I didn't think that was necessary. Maybe I should start listening to your father."

She was dressed in a floral flouncy skirt with an _unwrinkled_ long sleeve t-shirt and really cute espadrilles. I would have to ask her where she got them if I figured out how to speak again.

"Oh, Esme, don't be ridiculous. Hello, I'm Carlisle. You must be a friend of Tanya's from school?" he asked me in a kind, but questioning manner.

_Oh holy hell. I am sweating to death and surely have pitted out my shirt. Be cool Bella. _"I...um...I'm Bella." I manged to croak out.

He took my hand and shook it. The same hand that had been holding his son's perfect wiener hours earlier. _Not cool Bella. Now you are turning bright ass red. No more thinking of wieners. It's time to focus. _

"I'm Edward's mother, Esme. You look familiar dear." She was staring at me intently. "Where is Tanya?"

Before I could answer, Edward changed the subject to the Mariners, and I yanked some hair free from its' nest and tried to cover up my neck. I did not take Edward's parents for stupid people, and I'm sure they were coming up with some none too pleasant scenarios.

Esme and Carlisle headed into the kitchen, and I was frozen to my spot in the foyer. Edward gave me a push and if looks could kill he'd be one hot, but dead motherfucker. Once in the kitchen the conversation turned to bank robberies and emergency medicine. Apparently, Mr. Cullen was Dr. Cullen at Seattle Grace Hospital. Esme had busied herself making coffee, and I was just sort of standing there like a wallflower. The doorbell rang and before any of us could move to answer it, Alice barged in with Jasper lagging behind.

"Yoo hoo! We're here. Where are you two? Did you kiss and make up?" She was bouncing around like a fairy on crack and yelling excitedly. She spotted us in the kitchen and her face dropped. "Shit," she muttered.

Edward's parents looked at Alice, then Jasper, and then on to me and Edward. I was contemplating my escape route. Jumping out the window seemed a bit obvious. I didn't know what to do. Edward looked a little uncomfortable. He introduced Alice and Jasper to his parents. Alice immediately started talking 'hair' with Esme, and the guys were talking about baseball. I didn't quite know where I fit in.

I wondered how close Edward was to his parents since they obviously had no idea about Tanya. I didn't know if I should be pissed off about it or not. I mean I guess it was okay if he hadn't mentioned me yet, but when was he planning to tell them about the break-up? I was bloody knee deep in my thoughts when I heard Esme gasp. I looked at her and she was gaping at me with her mouth hanging open.

"I know why you look familiar. You're the overkill, over-spray girl from the news! Carlisle, she's the one that shot the shit out of that dog. Pardon my French." She was now looking at me with a sort of admiration. "I love a strong woman, and I do love my guns. Oh my word, the news didn't mention anything about that horrid bruise on your neck. That's just terrible."

Edward nearly choked on his drink, and Alice was doing her best to stifle her giggles. Jasper was thankfully calm and was motioning for me to take some deep breaths. Carlisle looked like he was about to have a stroke. He was trying not to burst out laughing, and yet I could tell he was terribly confused.

I was trying to come up with something intelligent to say, but my brain still wasn't cooperating. I was desperately hoping that the Cullens were late for some sort of engagement and would get the hell out of dodge. Instead, Carlisle took the opportunity to tell us that they also had tickets to today's game. _Fucking A! Shit._ I swear I was about to throw up or pass out. Probably which ever came first. I needed to get ready, but if I asked Alice for my clothes, that would confirm that I slept here last night. I took the bull by the horns and figured I would try my best to make this an acceptable scenario.

I took a deep breath and started my story. "Edward and I actually worked together this morning. We were out looking for the guy who gave me the black eye. It took a long time to get my hair to look like this, and unfortunately, I tripped and fell and skinned my knees. I was trying to blend in and thought my eye and neck, along with this crazy hair would help. Alice was nice enough to meet me here with a change of clothes for the game. Edward didn't want me to go this morning because he thought it was too dangerous, but I finally convinced him. We had quite a tiff about it, but I guess you could say that we kissed and made up. We apparently missed Alec Johnson by an hour according to his cousin," I rambled, rather convincingly.

Edward was looking at me with one eyebrow raised and looked rather amused. I took my clothes from Alice and went to the bathroom to change. I needed a shower, but that would have probably seemed too familiar. I also needed a Xanax, but short of asking Dr. Cullen for some, I was screwed.

Alice packed me some khaki capris, a tank, and a jean jacket I didn't even know that I owned. I quickly changed and was staring at my hair with animosity. I needed a hat. Perhaps the federale would let me borrow one of his. I walked out of the bathroom and everyone was gone. I opened the front door and found Alice and Jasper sitting on the porch holding hands. They did make one cute couple. I was so happy that they were hitting it off so well.

"Hi guys." I sat down next to Alice. "Thank you for the clothes."

"Hi Bells. I am like so sorry that I said that in front of Edward's parents. Nice story by the way. Totally believable since you do look like a skank."

"Gee, thanks Al." Jasper was quietly snickering beside her. "Up yours _Jazz_." I purposely used Alice's new nickname for him.

"No, seriously Bella. That was good," Jasper responded honestly.

"Thanks. I was not expecting to meet his parents like that. They still think he is with Tanya. They thought I was a friend of hers and asked where she was," I explained.

"Well, that explains it," Alice said.

"Explains what?" I asked anxiously.

"Edward heavily hinted that we hang out here. He needed to show his parents something in the garage."

"Oh, okay. He's telling them. Oh my gosh. I wonder what he's telling them exactly. I wonder if he'll tell them about me, about us."

"BELLA!" Alice interrupted my rant. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, shit. I forgot. You guys have no idea. Yeah. Um. Okay."

"BELLA MARIE SWAN! Spit it out!" Alice screeched.

Huff. I exhaled a deep breathe and began. "When I got here last night Edward took me upstairs."

"Ooh la la!" Alice chimed in.

"Alice, please! So we went upstairs and he showed me what that crazy bitch from hell did to his place. All of his incredible clothes were thrown all over and she poured bleach on his best pairs of jeans. She even smashed an entire bottle of cologne. The upstairs smells awful." I left out the part about the shoe pictures and boxes. Some things were better left unsaid. I took a deep breath and continued. "Did you know that he has an incredible Harley? Yep, he does. She keyed it and shredded the seats."

They were sitting there in shock.

"Holy shit. That is one pissed off chick," Jasper said. "Just think, now there is a gang after you and a crazy ex-girlfriend."

"Thanks for that, asshole," I said as I leaned over and flicked him in the ear.

"Well that explains what he wanted to show them in the garage," Alice said. "So did you get laid or not?"

"Alice, really? Not that I want to get into it now, but no."

We heard the door open behind us and turned to see Edward standing there.

"Hi," he said looking right at me. "Thanks for giving me some time to explain what happened," he said to Alice and Jasper.

"No problem," Jasper said as he gave him a pat on the back. "Hey, do you mind if Alice and I head downtown? I want to show her my office."

"No, not at all." Edward grabbed the tickets out of his car and handed them to Jasper. "See you in a little while."

They left and we headed inside. Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen table raking his hand through his hair, and I could clearly see the resemblance. Esme joined us a few minutes later from upstairs. She looked extremely upset, but pissed off at the same time. She also smelled heavily of cologne.

"Carlisle, can we get going? I need to pick something up at the store before we head to the game."

"Sure," he agreed, but looked at her warily. "We'll meet up with you at the game. It was very nice to meet you, Bella."

"You too," I said relieved. I longed for some alone time with green eyes.

Acting strangely, Esme grabbed Carlisle's arm and they left. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Well, that went well," I joked.

Edward looked at me and grinned. "It did, actually."

I couldn't wait to hear what he told them.

"It was news to me, but they weren't the least bit surprised when I told them that Tanya and I broke up. Apparently, they could tell I wasn't really into our relationship. My mom almost shit a brick when I showed her my bike and then she went upstairs on her own. My dad didn't need to see anymore. While she was up there, my dad commented on your neck. I was honest with him...and told him that I...um...am very interested in you." With that revelation, he walked toward me and pulled me into a delicious kiss.

"Edward, you weren't honest about _everything_ were you?" I asked shyly.

"No, but you owe me one for listening to my mother lecture me on how you can hold your own. She is a big fan and asked if we could all go shooting sometime. She said that you obviously took the time to prepare for this morning, so I shouldn't have doubted you." He grinned and it reached all the way to his gorgeous eyes.

"Nice. Glad she thought I looked like a ghetto street walker. You owe me for acting like a teenager and giving me a hickey!" I mumbled.

"Your neck is so incredible that I had to mark you as mine." He held me tighter and I felt him sniff my hair. I was hoping his nose wouldn't get stuck. His lips grazed my neck, and I knew without a doubt that I would do anything for this man. He broke the embrace and said that we needed to get going.

"Can I borrow a hat?" I asked gesturing to my hair.

"Anything for you beautiful," he answered sexily.

He threw me a well worn Mariners hat, and we headed to our first date. I wondered how many dates it would take before I let him have his every way with me.

**Thanks to my loyal reviewers. Please review...I feel like a loser without them:)**

**Not exactly how I would want to meet the parents!**

**maxandmo on Twitter**


	15. Love Bites

**Thanks to all of you who are reading this. Thanks to chianedirisheagle, lotusblosm, and FIL for all the guidance and proofing! Secretobsession7 (secretobsess7 on twitter) is my beta.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns this while damn thing!  
**

** ~Chapter 15~Love Bites**

** ~~~Edward~~~**

I seriously almost had a panic attack when I saw my parents at the door instead of my hair goddess, Alice. My parents and I had a pretty close relationship, I just hadn't gotten around to telling them about Tanya...or Bella. It was almost as if thoughts of Bella had taken up my entire brain...and my dick. I couldn't stop thinking about her, which in turn made my dick respond. I usually had control over such things. Interesting, to say the least.

Thankfully, I let Bella answer the door. My parents probably could live without seeing my boner. The look on their faces was still pure confusion. When I took a good look at Bella, it made sense. She was wrinkled, bruised and bloody and her hair was out of fucking control; however, she was beautiful and she was mine, and I could seriously ramble on about her for like ever! She also was not Tanya, and that is who I assume my parents thought would answer the door.

Things were awkwardly weird, and I wasn't sure how things would play out. I mean, I couldn't really tell them that I said Bella's name during sex with Tanya. That revelation would most probably have given my mother a heart attack. I am pretty confident that she still wanted to believe I was a virgin. Then Alice had to bust in all cheerful with her yoo hoo kiss comment bullshit. She was right though, we did kiss and make up.

The hickey on my girl's neck was killer. It was perfectly round and purple and obvious as hell. My dad was a sharp one. My mom, not so much. God love her, but she was pretty naive and a little, maybe a lot, of an airhead. The fact that my mother could not recognize a hickey was a huge bonus. My father, on the other hand, looked embarrassingly uncomfortable. If I didn't know better, I would have guessed that he had to take a huge dump.

I felt a wave of relief when my mom recognized Bella. She has the utmost respect for women in law enforcement, and I knew that would help the situation. I was at a loss for words. I needed to explain what in the hell was going on, yet I didn't know where in the world to begin. Out of nowhere came a fuck-awesome explanation for _almost_ everything. My girl rocked. The only way to truly explain the rest to my parents was to show them. As Bella was changing, I basically told Alice and Jasper to get the fuck out of dodge so I could get my parents up to speed.

"I know you guys must be confused and have tons of questions, but I need you to follow me." I led the way to the garage.

My parents followed without question. We were all inside and then I turned on the overhead light. My dad looked around, and I saw his eyes land on my motorcycle.

"Dear, what in the world are we doing in your garage? Surely you could find a more appropriate place to speak with us," my mom said, obviously clueless.

"Esme, give Edward a moment to explain," my dad interrupted, as he motioned to the bike.

"So, last week Tanya and I had the state of the relationship address. I was honest with her and ended things. I didn't tell her she needed to move out because I know she is struggling to pay for school. Apparently, she isn't taking this as well as I thought. She is blaming the whole situation on Bella."

"Edward, _is_ this because of Bella?" Carlisle questioned.

"Carlisle, we've talked about this before. It was only a matter of time before they broke up," Esme said knowingly. "Edward, we could tell she wasn't the one. Having said that, you really pissed her off it seems."

Holy crap. My mother said 'pissed' and 'shit' in the matter of a few minutes. My dad was looking at my bike with a grimace, and I proceeded to tell them about my closet.

"Oh, Edward. She really hit you where it hurts," Esme said.

"Yeah, no kidding," I sadly agreed.

"I'm going to go take a look up there if it's okay."

"Sure mom, go ahead."

My mom left my dad and I in the garage together as she went upstairs.

"So, nice hickey," my dad said amusingly.

"Um yeah. You caught that?" I questioned embarrassingly.

"It's a good thing your mother didn't realize what it was. She would've dragged your ass to church instantly," he said with a chuckle. "So what is the story with this Bella?"

"Dad, she is all I can think about. The chemistry is amazing, and I think she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I feel protective of her, yet I love the fact that she is in law enforcement. I've only known her a short time, but it's like I need to be with her." As I said the last sentence, I felt a yearning deep inside my soul.

"Son, I only hope that this is the last you hear of Tanya."

We walked back inside and my dad took a seat at the table while I went outside to get Alice and Jasper. Bella was sitting with them on the porch. She cleaned up well, but her hair was still a nightmare. She was going to look hot in my favorite hat.

Bella and I walked inside just as my mom came downstairs acting strangely. She smelled like my cologne and looked pretty pissed off. It was a bit odd that she was that mad about my clothes. I mean Harleys cost a tad bit more than my jeans. She ushered my dad out the door and they left.

I assured my girl that all was well and pulled her in for a kiss. She tasted amazing and before things could get hot and heavy we headed to the game. She looked hot as fuck in my hat.

"Edward, these seats kick ass," Jasper said excitedly. "Thanks man."

"No problem. I'm happy to have you sit in them as long as you promise to cheer and not bring up the Rangers," I said with a wink.

Jasper smiled and agreed. Alice couldn't peel her eyes away from him for even a second. We were just getting settled when I heard an annoying voice behind me.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. FBI." _Fucking Newton. _

"Mike," I said in an even tone.

"So, you guys are here together?" He motioned to Bella and me with a smirk. "I see how it is, Bella. You're too good for us lowly state workers, you had to go federal."

"Up yours Mike," Bella said annoyingly.

"Jess got tickets for free from her boss," he said.

Just then a girl, who must have been Jess walked up behind him. I recognized her from Volturi.

"Hey, Bella. Hi, Alice," she said happily.

"Hi Jess," they said in unison.

"Jessica Stanley, this is Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock." Alice introduced everyone.

She was nice looking with a great body that Mike couldn't keep his hands off of. I was trying not to stare, but he was making me nauseous. I noticed a huge guy making his way toward our group. He was built like a brick shit house and had the blackest hair and eyes. He looked like he could be the Rock's brother. So, I used to watch WWE wrestling, who didn't? He put his hand on Jessica's shoulder to get her attention.

"Hey Jake," she said to him comfortably. "Guys, this is Jacob Black, my boss."

Before anyone could say a word, the big guy launched himself toward Bella, knocking her out of the way of a foul ball. Then the fucker reached up and caught it, while grabbing her around the waist to steady her at the same time. They were standing chest to chest. I could see Bella blush as he gazed down at her. Alice looked at me and must have been able to sense my uncomfortableness.

"Jacob Black, thank you for saving Bella from another black eye," she said loudly.

It was enough to break their trance and he let her go. She was fidgeting and still bright red.

"Thanks," she muttered to him.

"No problem. Very nice to meet you." He handed her the ball and as he realized he was only talking to her, he looked at the rest of us and waved. The three of them walked out of our aisle and made their way to their seats. I knew then and there that she was _my_ girl. I wasn't usually a jealous fucker, but I did not want some other dude touching her. I was grateful that she wasn't hurt, I just wished I had been the one to protect her. Not to mention he had been looking at her like a dog in heat.

We settled into our seats. Bella was still a little freaked out by her close encounter with a baseball and pretty much flinched when a ball was hit even remotely in our direction. The game was moving along quickly, and the Mariners were kicking some serious ass. We decided to take a walk around the stadium and grab something to eat. Alice and Jasper were so engrossed in each other they barely noticed when we left.

I was hoping that we wouldn't run into Mr. 'Save the Day' Black. We were standing in line at the concession stand when a black guy with dreads tapped Bella on the shoulder. My hand automatically felt for the pistol that was tucked inside my shorts. Bella turned around and smiled at the man, calling him by name. I took a breath and tried to relax. _What the fuck is going on with me?_ She introduced us and we shook hands. He was glaring at me, as he obviously had a thing for Bella. He took his nachos, said goodbye, and walked away from us.

"How do you know that guy?" I asked, hoping I sounded nonchalant.

"Oh, Laurent works at the Mexican restaurant that is across from Salon Vamp. Alice and I go there all the time. We're his regulars, and we always leave him a good tip since he's putting himself through nursing school."

That sounded familiar, I thought. It was our turn to order, so Bella opted for a soft pretzel with a side of cheese, and I got a box of Cracker Jacks. I couldn't wait to see what my prize was. We began to walk back to our seats and my phone vibrated with a text.

**eDard Your fathr got calledi nto wOk so we are lEAving? moM**

I busted out laughing and showed Bella my phone so she could do the same. Poor Esme. She was finally trying to get herself out of the 90's, but she hadn't yet mastered the art of texting.

**Ok. Call u tom. 3 **

My phone rang instantaneously. It, of course, was my mother.

"Edward, why are you going to call me Tom, and what is less than 3?" she asked, totally confused.

I couldn't help but chuckle at her lack of texting knowledge. "Mom, I didn't feel like typing out tomorrow and the less than with a 3 is a heart."

"Oh! Carlisle, I learned some new texting lingo. Have a nice time, son. Don't forget to ask Bella when she would like to go shooting." She always carried on conversations with numerous people at the same time.

Interestingly enough, my dad always seemed to have to work whenever my mom planned an outing at the range. That's probably how I ended up in law enforcement. My mom had dragged me with her at an early age. My father didn't mind guns, but I'm sure picking up a shift at the ER beat shooting with my mother. She was known to be a loose cannon sometimes.

When we got back to our seats, Alice and Jasper were gone. I have to admit, I didn't really care. My girl and I sat there and talked about our jobs while we nibbled on her pretzel and my Cracker Jacks. I couldn't believe someone could look that hot with pretzel cheese oozing from their lips.

I couldn't help myself so I reached over and wiped it off with my finger. She looked up at me and was staring at my cheese covered pointer, so I followed my instincts and moved it toward her mouth. She took it inside and sucked on it gently. I felt my dick stir and was amazed that I could get a boner by someone sucking on my finger.

Our eyes were focused on only each other and it wasn't until we heard a bunch of cheers that we realized we were on the jumbo tron. _Fuck me._ I was just on the jumbo tron with my finger in a girl's mouth. I so wanted to leave, but now I had a full out hard-on. There was no way they were getting that on the big screen. Bella may have been the reddest I'd ever seen her. We finished up our snacks in silence. I was focusing entirely on the game, willing my rock hard cock to relax.

I heard Bella gasp and when I looked at her she was pointing at the jumbo tron. There, as big as life, sat Alec Johnson. The dumb ass was flexing and even kissed his biceps. He was acting as if he didn't have a care in the world. A felony warrant obviously did not faze him. We were instantly trying to figure out where he was sitting. Bella finally spotted him on the other side of the stadium so we got up and rushed to the concourse.

I spotted a cop leaning against the wall, so I quickly identified myself and told him what was going on. He called for back-up on his radio and the three of us headed toward his section. I didn't want to be a dick, but I knew Bella didn't have her gun...or pepper spray, and I surely didn't want her near a guy whose dog she had just killed.

Another officer met up with us just as we were entering the seating area. I wanted to tell Bella to stay put, but she was the only one who really could identify him. Plus, I'm sure she wanted paybacks for the black eye. Nothing spelled payback like an arrest. We looked at each other, and then at the officers, and then back at each other. A look of understanding passed between us as I asked one of the officers for his taser. He handed it to Bella and we were on our way. I was trying to get a hold on my pistol without spectators noticing. I'm sure that two police officers in uniform weren't helping in our discreetness as it was.

At the same time we spotted him, he spotted us. I could see the look of panic on his face and could read his lips when they said "shit". It wasn't until he laid eyes on Bella that he scowled. He stood up and started to run out of the aisle. The four of us split up and were making our way up the stairs to where he was exiting. I needed to focus and trust that Bella would be fine. I continued my climb up the stairs, and was making great progress, until the fucking seventh inning stretch happened. Every single person was standing up singing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame', or else heading out the exits to take a piss.

The cops were having better success as they were in uniform. Sneaking up on someone with uniformed officers sucked, but when the chase is on it's a whole different story. I just looked like a rude asshole who was in a hurry. I had to be careful that no one saw my gun or all hell would surely break loose. I couldn't see Bella from where I was, but I was sure she got a lot farther seeing as she's smaller and a girl.

I finally made it up the steps, and as I looked around, I could only see anonymous people everywhere. The game had resumed, so the concourse was starting to clear out. I located one of the officers who had been helping, but we didn't see Bella or his partner. We decided to stick together in hopes of locating Johnson. I asked a concession worker if he had seen anyone run past, but he said they had been swamped and he didn't notice anything except the number of hot dogs he had left. The officer, whose name I found out was Stephen Meyer, and I realized that the fugitive was gone.

Officer Meyer called his partner on the radio but there was no response. I didn't realize this was a big deal since we at the F.B.I. didn't really use radios. He, however, suddenly looked panicked.

"Dude. What's going on?" I asked curiously.

"Officer Slade ALWAYS answers his radio," he answered, as his eyes darted all around us.

"Shit," I responded as we looked at each other and tried to figure out which way to go.

We didn't have a chance to decide as two teenage girls ran up to us in frantic tears and pointed to the left. They were nearly hysterical and couldn't speak. Officer Meyer and I ran at full speed in the direction the girls pointed. We rounded a corner and Officer Meyer stopped dead in his tracks causing me to run into his back, nearly knocking him over. Alec Johnson had Officer Slade in a choke hold while holding a gun.

The minute he saw us he got a sick grin on his face. That guy was definitely fucked up.

"Put the gun down Johnson," I said with authority.

"Fuck you," he spat angrily.

"You are already in a shitload of trouble. This is only going to make things worse." I was glaring at him while keeping a steady grip on my gun.

"Yo, I'm already in trouble. Who gives a fuck? I might as well go out a superstar. Plus, that bitch shot my fucking dog. I want a piece of her. Where the fuck is she? You better fucking find her, or I'm going to bust a cap in this cop's ass."

He was taunting me, while holding the gun sideways as if he had been playing too much Grand Theft Auto. He truly looked like a ghetto gangster.

I have to admit that I was so fucking relieved Bella was currently nowhere to be found. This dude was indeed extremely pissed about his dog. Perhaps I should have tried a little harder to keep thoughts of Bella at bay at the moment, but even in a crisis, she was my number one priority. As if she could read my thoughts, I saw her round the corner behind them. My heart accelerated and then dropped. There was no telling what that crazy bastard would do when he saw her. She locked eyes with me and kept walking closer.

I wanted to yell for her to stop, or motion for her to go away, but I couldn't let him know she was behind them. I was getting anxious as all hell. _What the fuck was she doing? _I knew what _I_ had to do since I had no idea what _she _was planning.

I noticed the prison tat on his forearm. "Alec, I'm sure your buddies in prison miss you. Don't you miss them?"

"Fuck off. Who the fuck are you, pretty boy?" His nostrils were flaring and he was waving the gun like a lunatic.

Bella was inching her way closer and closer, and I was scared shitless. I needed to keep him focused on being pissed at me.

"What was your dog's name fat boy?" He was a pudgy fucker.

He took his gun and started to lift his arm to point it at me. At the same time I saw Bella reach forward, and I was about to lose my shit. It dawned on me what was happening mere milliseconds before I saw Alec Johnson crumble to the ground in a puddle of his own piss.

My beautiful girl had just tased the piss out of him. I just might love that girl.

**I so wish they would have given me a taser at work.** **No such luck. The next chapter makes me giggle. Lotusblosm and I have been snickering for quite sometime about it.**

**maxandmo on Twitter**

**I love reviews! jsyk**


	16. Rotten Tomatoes

**Thanks to all of you who are taking the time to read this! **

**To my peeps: secretobsession7, FIL, lotusblosm, and chainedirisheagle 'mwah'!**

**Also, I am very technically challenged so if anyone is interested in setting up polyvores or photo shopping FBIward that would seriously kick ass.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns them.  
**

**~Chapter 16~Rotten Tomatoes**

** ~~Bella~~**

Once I got over the initial nightmare that was me meeting Edward's parents, I was definitely looking forward to the game. Our seats were incredible to say the least. I was with my favorite guy, seeing my favorite team, with my favorite girlfriend. I should have known better than to ask myself if anything could ruin this moment.

_Fucking Newton. _He always grated on my nerves and his voice made me cringe. I couldn't explain it. His federal agent jokes were lame, but if nothing else, consistent. Edward told me that Mike had applied three times to the F.B.I., finally was invited to take the test, and then failed. Now I guess I understood a little better why he was so obviously envious of Edward's job. It didn't make him any less annoying though.

As much as seeing Newton made my blood pressure automatically rise, it was nice to see Jess. She seemed to be crazy about him, so I was happy for her. Alice and I were talking to her, oblivious to the pregame warm up, and I couldn't help but notice the hunk that was making his way toward her. He was enormous, in a Hulk Hogan sort of way, had jet black spiky hair, and eyes the color of hot chocolate. She introduced him as her boss.

Before I could utter a single word in acknowledgment of the introduction, Jacob Black, Attorney at Law's mammoth arms were forcing me wayward, knocking me off balance. Thankfully, as I was about to fall, his arms were back around me. I realized he had saved me from getting hit by a foul ball. That would have definitely put a damper on my day.

He kept a firm hold on me and I could feel his rock hard chest pressed against mine. He was very hot. I mean this in both the physical, as well as, the literal sense. I could feel myself blush, and also felt boob sweat start to occur from his intense heat. Just as things could have gotten awkward, Alice thanked him for saving me. I too thanked him and he let me go. The three of them then headed to their seats.

Jess had failed to mention that her boss was a regular He-Man. Had it not been for the green-eyed piece of gorgeousness next to me, I would have definitely inquired about him. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she wasn't all over that, instead of hanging all over Mike.

Edward and I settled into our seats. I have to admit that I was a suddenly a little freaked out every time a baseball was hit anywhere near our general vicinity. I knew Edward could sense this, but I also knew he would be the one to protect me this time. I was glad he wasn't one of those jealous fuckers that instantly had an attitude because another guy saved the day.

I snuck a look over at Alice and Jasper. They were holding hands and she was leaning so far over towards him that I thought for sure she was about to sit on his lap. I wouldn't put it past her, so I was happy when Edward wanted to take a walk. I almost fell over when we saw Laurent. I would have never guessed him for a baseball fan. It was considered an American pastime, and he was now in America. I guess once I gave it further thought it wasn't all that surprising.

To say I almost pissed my pants with laughter at seeing Esme's text was an understatement. In fact, I may have actually dribbled a little. That woman cracked my shit up. She thought my hickey was a bruise. I guess it was technically a bruise, I just happened to get it from her son.

I wasn't the least bit surprised she called him when he had showed me what he was texting back to her. She requested a date at the range once again so I figured I'd have to appease her. I didn't mind shooting, and it was a lot less stressful when I wasn't getting scored. I only hoped I didn't have dog flashbacks.

We settled back into our seats, and I noticed that Alice and Jazz were M.I.A. I could only assume that horny Alice thought better of humping him at the game and at least made it to the car. I was nothing short of jealous. Especially after seeing my agent's perfect peen. Patience was not a virtue that I possessed. I would have my way with this man, and it would be sooner rather than later. I had been watching a lot of Skinamax since my first attempt at sex. If you threw in some Sex and the City with a little smutty reading, I was more than prepared.

I was thoroughly enjoying my pretzel. So much so that I didn't even realize I was oozing cheese. I was getting ready to grab a napkin but Edward beat me to it with his lean, long finger. He gracefully wiped the cheese from my mouth and his finger looked so enticing that I had to have a taste. I looked up at him through my lashes, and as if he could read my mind, he moved it to me. I took it in my mouth and started sucking gently. Who knew such an otherwise gross act could be so sensual? I was just about to get totally into it when I heard cheers a little too close for comfort. I was hoping some douche had just proposed on the big screen. Instead, I was horrified to see that I was the douche sucking on someone's finger...on the big screen.

If I could ever possess a superhuman skill, I would have to pick running at an insanely invisible rate of speed. I was so fucking embarrassed that I almost cried. I managed to choke down the rest of my pretzel and couldn't as much as glance at Edward. What a freaking nightmare. Before I could fully wallow in my self pity, I looked up at the jumbo tron to see the fucker that gave me the black eye.

I was instantly unembarrassed. Alec Johnson was now the douche who was posing on purpose...on the big screen. He was thinking his fat ass was all buff, as he went about flexing and kissing his flabby arms. I was trying so hard to locate him before his dumb ass went off of the screen.

I finally noticed him all the way on the other side of the stadium. He was seated right under a huge advertisement for beef jerky. How appropriate. Edward got up and headed out and I followed. I wasn't sure what I was going to do without any weapons, but I guess, if need be, a shot to the ball bag would suffice.

We entered the concourse and immediately spotted a bored looking cop. Edward briefly explained the situation to the police officer and he was more than happy to join in the hunt. He radioed to another officer for assistance as we made our way to the beef jerky section.

As we neared his section, I had a brilliant thought. I looked over to Edward, who met my gaze with a look of understanding. Our eyes zoned in on the officer's taser, which he graciously handed over. I had never used one before, and was a little giddy at the thought of testing it out. I thought a zap for a black eye was a pretty even trade.

We spotted Alec Johnson, A.K.A. dickhead, and when he set his eyes on me, he looked pissed off. He got out of his seat and quickly made it to the aisle in order to elude us. He timed his escape perfectly. It was the seventh inning stretch and every person in the place was standing up and singing.

The four of us split up and headed after him. I was glad that Edward was letting me do my thing without trying to interfere or be all protective of me. There was a time and a place for that, and work wasn't one of them. I was making my way through the crowd with some ease. As I made it to the exit, I paused and took a look around. I decided it was best to follow the crowd, but I didn't see Alec Johnson anywhere. My eyes were peeled and I was starting to feel the disappointment of losing the fugitive. Besides the fact that he gave me a black eye, he was a bad dude. One that needed to be locked up.

I waited for the barrage of people to thin and decided I would turn around and head in the other direction. I rounded the corner and curtailed a gasp at the sight before me. Alec Johnson had one of the officers in a head lock and was waving a gun around ghetto style. Edward and the other officer were standing in front of them. Thankfully I maintained my balance as I stopped dead in my tracks. It would have sucked ass if I had taken a spill. Plus, my knees had just stopped throbbing for fucks sake.

The scenario in front of me was not good. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the police officer was in grave danger. I also knew that I had no fucking clue how to properly use a taser. I locked eyes with Edward and could see the look of panic on his face.

No one points a gun at my Federal Agent and gets away with it. It took me a split second to decide what to do. It was time to go balls out. I took a deep breath and inched forward with confidence. The taser felt heavy in my hand, and I knew it was in anticipation of what I was about to do.

I slowly inched my way forward, silently praying that he wouldn't sense my presence. As I moved closer, Edward started to purposely provoke Johnson. I moved faster as I saw him begin to raise and steady the gun.

The jolt from the taser was a rush. The fact that Alec Johnson was on the ground twitching was a relief. Lucky for me the taser worked just as a gun would. We all knew by now that I could work a gun. I took a closer look and realized that he peed his pants. I stifled a giggle and walked over to Edward, as the police officers were handcuffing the offender.

"Holy hell, Bella! That's my girl!" Edward said, beaming at me proudly.

"Yeah, that was pretty cool. He's going to be really _pissed_ at me now." I couldn't help but snicker as I looked at the puddle on the ground.

"Well, seeing as he was a fugitive with a ton of felony charges hanging over his head, I'm sure he won't be going anywhere in the foreseeable future." Edward put his arm around me and steered us away.

I heard the most god awful noise penetrating my brain. It took about ten minutes for it to register that the noise was my alarm clock. Mondays were a bitch. Work was always busy, and I never seemed to be able to wake up on time. Thoughts of yesterday started coming back, and I couldn't help but relive every single detail of the groping that Edward and I did on my couch after the game. The man had mad skills.

I got into the shower and willed myself to stop thinking about him. I did not need to be hot and bothered before spending the day with a bunch of vulgar criminals. The work day usually went by in a blur because of all the weekend shenanigans people got themselves into. I was ready in record time, probably due to the fact that my hair was pulled up in a wet, sloppy ponytail, and I wore little make-up, and headed out the door.

Since it was Monday, Alice was going to cook dinner. She invited Jasper and Edward over to eat with us. I could only imagine what our apartment would look like when I got home. She had the entire day to work her magic, and I was confident she would transform it into some sort of restaurant wonderland. She was definitely talented when it came to anything artsy or creative.

I was right on time to work, well almost. The clock read 8:00 exactly when I turned my car off. It wasn't my fault that I had to park in BFE. They should seriously consider building a parking garage, then maybe I would actually be in my office at 8 on the dot.

Since the scenery on my walk consisted of litter and roadkill, I let my thoughts drift to Edward. I was pretty excited to see him at dinner. That in and of itself was huge for me. I usually wanted a little space after spending an entire day, well two days, with someone.

I reached my building and saw a lot of commotion out front. That isn't entirely rare seeing as it is The State Building, and the departments inside seem to be good at pissing people off. I felt my messenger bag vibrate so I stopped and dug inside to find my phone.

I saw it was a text from Edward, and I couldn't help but grin. Before I had the chance to read it, I heard someone shout, "It's her" at the same time that I felt something hit me in the back. The grin was wiped off of my face as I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I could also hear the noise of the group getting closer and closer. I was afraid to turn around.

I placed my hand on the butt of my gun, took a deep breath and turned around into something wet smashing me in the face.

"What the fuck?" I thought aloud.

It was as if I was in a wind tunnel. There was noise, but I could only make out a few random words. I couldn't see shit, as whatever I was hit with was stinging the hell out of my eyes. I heard sirens in the distance and only hoped they were for whoever the hell was throwing shit at me. The smell was nauseating. The words that the group were chanting started to become clearer.

"Dogs are to love, not kill. Stop cruelty to animals," the group chanted over and over.

I could feel whatever I had been hit with oozing down my face, and my back was soaked. Something smelly and soft was smashed over my head and the crazy protesting fuckers were starting to close in on me. I didn't know if I should shoot a bullet into the air, run blindly, or just drop to ground and get into the fetal position.

"BELLA?"

I had never been so happy to hear Emmett's voice. I could hear him telling people to get out of his way and his voice was getting closer. He hooked his hand into the crook of my arm and led me away from the PETA bastards.

We stopped at the side of our building and he wiped my face with his shirt. My eyes still burned like mad, but I could just barely make out the sight in front of me. First of all, his shirt was blood red from a rotten tomato, secondly several cop cars had just pulled up. Officers were out of their cars and headed towards the protestors. They started to throw, what I now saw were all sorts of rotten vegetables, at the officers with no reservations.

It took quite a bit of manpower, but the police finally had the situation under control. Several arrests were made, and the remaining protesters got into a Volkswagen van and sped off.

I smelled horrid and thought I might hurl the pop tart that I had just eaten on my way to work. Emmett was trying to sooth me, but I was so stuck in my own head I didn't hear a damn thing he said.

I could hear snickering behind us and turned to see Mike, Ben, and Jasper gaping at me.

"Bella, we're going to grab breakfast. You should come. They'll probably only charge you half price since you already have the shit to make an omelet in your hair." Newton was clutching his gut and laughing like a hyena on drugs.

Jasper was nudging him in order to get him to lay off.

"Newton, get the fuck out of here," Emmett said with a growl.

Emmett picked up his cell and started talking. "Hi, baby doll. Can you please mark me and Bella out for the morning? We have some field placements to do. I'll see you later gorgeous."

Obviously, Edward had filled him in on the art of schmoozing Irina.

He hung up the phone and put his arm around me. "Alright Bells, let's go get you a shower."

We walked to my car in silence. All I could think of was what a fucking Monday morning. Why did this kind of shit always happen to me? It was as if I had a huge target on my back that read "Embarrass me, I get off on it."

We got to my apartment in record time. Emmett drove like a maniac. Well, as much of a maniac as possible when driving an Escort Sport. I was thanking my lucky stars for the rain ponchos I had just bought at the dollar store. They covered up my seats. I did not want to smell rotten vegetables again for as long as I lived.

We entered my apartment to find Alice in the kitchen already knee deep in preparation for tonight's dinner. To my utter dismay, she was stewing tomatoes for spaghetti sauce.

She turned and looked at me with complete confusion and disgust. "Bella, you need a new fucking job. You smell like ass and look like shit."

I was starting to feel extremely hot, a little dizzy, and a lot nauseated. I didn't bother to respond, and instead ran to the bathroom and vomited blueberry pop tart.

I hated fucking Mondays.

**Okay, so PETA also gets pissed at people for using their pets as weapons. I just thought it made for a much better scenario if they happened to be mad at one sharp shooting parole officer. **

**I love reviews...a lot. If maybe there was a new reviewer who took the time to review all 16 chapters at once, then I just might slip your name in here somewhere. That may be bribery...but I think it's fine. **

**I'm maxandmo on twitter...which you can also blame on the slower than usual update. I was too busy reading tweets...and updates.**

**Luvs:)**


	17. Oral Pleasures

**Thanks as always to chainedirisheagle, and lotusblosm for the continued support. I bounce ideas off you girls like nobody's business! To my beta, secretobsession7: YOU ARE AWESOME!**

**I couldn't possibly let FIL proof this one, so I have to thank Cullenh00r and RachelleMyBell for doing it!**

**To my loyal reviewers...you totally rock. Thanks for reading:)**

**Good old Meyer owns this shit.**

** ~~Chapter 17~~Oral Pleasures**

** ~~~Edward~~~**

I was so thoroughly convinced that something was wrong with me. I mean who would get a boner because the girl they were interested in zapped a grown man and made him piss his pants? Me, perverted fucking Special Agent Cullen, that's who.

Bella and I walked to my car after the incident with Alec Johnson. I was so proud of her for what she did. She totally saved a police officer's life. There was no telling what that fat bastard was capable of. The situation could have gotten way out of control, and many people could have been hurt, or worse yet, killed. She was so brave, and I was in total awe of her. Not to mention she was so adorable.

"Bella, you saved that officer's life. You do realize that, right?" I was staring at her sitting in the passenger seat of my car thinking that it was the most perfect and natural place for her to be.

She looked at me and blushed with embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't have done anything. Plus, I've always wanted to try out a taser." She grinned at me, and my cock started to throb.

I knew she was being humble, yet I couldn't help but continue to praise her. I guess in a way I was trying to make up for how I berated her after the gang incident.

"Bella, seriously, that dude was acting crazy and would have hurt anyone and everyone in order to get away. You didn't hesitate and did what needed to be done. Granted, you scared the shit out of me because I just might have forgotten that you had the taser."

"Well, I still think anyone would have done what I did. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. No biggie." She was picking at her nails, a nervous habit of hers that I had noticed before.

"Officer Swan, can't you just take credit and maybe learn how to take a compliment?" I asked, as I quirked my eyebrow at her and flashed my infamous panty removing smile.

"Okay fine. Thanks. I am one bad ass bitch." She looked at me and started to crack up. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes." And that one word answer was the honest to God truth. I was happy, and it had everything to do with one Miss Bella Swan.

I was bummed that it was Sunday and I wouldn't be able to see her until tomorrow night. Alice invited me and Jasper over to their place for dinner. It was perfect. I definitely wanted to spend time with Bella, and now I didn't have to figure out how to do so. It felt like Alice could look inside my head and see what I felt and wanted as far as Bella was concerned. As strange as it was, I couldn't have been happier to have Alice in my corner. I knew how much Bella respected her, and I loved that she liked us together.

I was fidgeting in my seat trying to hide the fact that I had popped wood. Every time I glanced over at Bella, it only got worse. She looked fucking hot in my hat, and I couldn't wait to sniff it. She still smelled so good even though she hadn't yet showered. I couldn't be grossed out about it since it was my parents' fault.

I was taking her home, and I desperately hoped that she would invite me in. I could always ask to use her bathroom, but that seemed way too obvious.

I pulled up in front of her apartment and put the car in park. I was afraid of being presumptuous by turning it off. I looked over at her and we locked eyes. She flashed me a smile, leaned over, and turned the car off. I was pleasantly shocked and decided to follow her lead. She took my keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. I followed my girl to her apartment praying that Alice wasn't home.

My prayers were answered. The apartment was dark and silent. Bella flipped on a lamp and the room was intimately lit. I couldn't contain my want any longer. She turned towards me to say something and I moved to her, silencing her with my mouth. It was a feverish kiss that left us both breathless. I grabbed her by the hand and led us to the couch.

I sat down, pulling her on top of me so that she was straddling me. Her...err...my hat was crooked on her head from the kiss, so I turned it backwards giving me better access to her face. I placed my hands on either sides of her face and stared into her eyes.

"You are beautiful." I told her with every ounce of feeling inside of me.

I ravished her mouth with my own. Our tongues were moving in perfect sync, and I was holding her tightly against me. I could feel the swell of her breasts through her shirt, just as I was positive she could feel the swell of my dick pressing against her. She was raking her hands through my hair, and I was loving every minute of it. Our lips separated and I began leaving trails of little kisses down the side of her neck, lingering on the hickey. She pulled my hair harder and I laughed, and then continued downward.

I knew where I wanted this to go eventually, but I wasn't sure how far it should go tonight. The plan was to follow Bella's lead to the best of my ability. The fact of the matter was that I couldn't wait to be inside of her. I had no idea if she was on birth control, and I also didn't have rubbers. In all honesty, I can't remember the last time I even saw one. We hadn't had that talk yet.

As my mouth found its' way to her collarbone, my hands found their way up the back of her shirt. I was thankful that she had removed her ever pesky jacket. Her skin was smooth and warm, and she looked absolutely delicious with her head thrown back and ecstasy written all over her face.

My lips continued to place small kisses up and down her neck, shoulders, and collarbone. I licked the side of her neck up to her ear. When I reached it, I softly blew into it, and told her how hot she was making me. She raised her arms allowing me to slip her shirt up and over her head exposing her near perfect breasts.

Without hesitation I took my own shirt off so that I could feel our bare bodies without any barriers. She was giving me the most sexy and seductive smile. Her hands were grazing my arms and lightly scratching my back. I could have sat like this forever. She was making me feel incredible.

She immediately took advantage as she began to leave kisses up and down my neck, making my flesh break out in goose bumps. She trailed up to my earlobe where she gently tugged on it with her teeth. She placed a gentle kiss in my ear and continued running her hands up and down my arms and over my back.

I wanted so badly to take her to her bedroom and claim her as mine. Seeing as I had never been to her apartment, I didn't even know where it was. Plus, I thought it was something that she should initiate.

She moved her tongue down my neck and then shifted herself off of my insanely hard dick. Her mouth was headed straight for my nipple as her hands stayed on my arms. My girl sucked on my nipple and lightly nipped at it, sending an awesome sensation straight to my dick. I usually would have found this a bit unnecessary and annoying, but something about her doing it made it the hottest shit ever.

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at me through her lashes. Her stare was full of confidence and want as she moved off of the couch into a kneeling position. I could see her sort of grimace and realized her knees must have stung from the hardwood floor. I handed her two pillows from the end of the couch and she smiled.

Reality set in as she grasped the button of my shorts and tugged. My brain kept shouting 'YES, YES, YES' internally. Holy fuck, she was going to give me head. Bella undid my zipper and opened the fly as far as it would go. I lifted up so that she could pull them down my thighs. She had me so hot and bothered I was almost afraid I'd cum just by having her spring me free. She pulled my boxer briefs down with my shorts and was staring at me in all my glory.

"You are perfect," she said in a breathy whisper.

She grasped my cock with her tiny hand and started to stroke it at a slow pace. Her tongue darted out and licked my moist tip. Good thing I ate pineapple yesterday, hopefully I taste so good and sweet that she'll want to do this again. The light flicks of her tongue across the head were driving me insane. Just as I was getting used to the feeling, she opened her mouth and took me inside.

Her mouth encompassed my erection perfectly. It was warm and oh so wet. She moved down slowly and I was curious as to how far she would get without gagging. She obviously knew her limits as she stopped three quarters of the way down and moved back up slowly. She took me out of her mouth and swirled the tip with her tongue, then ran it down my shaft ever so slowly. Her eyes met mine and the look she gave me told me she was purposely teasing me.

"Bella, you're driving me in-fucking-sane," I growled in a low threatening tone.

"Uh huh," she said taking my dick in her mouth.

The vibration of those words felt incredible. My girl's perfect mouth was moving up and down on my throbbing cock. Her movements became faster and her hand started to stroke me at the same time. There was enough wetness that her hand moved in perfect rhythm with no uncomfortable friction. I was fucking her mouth and loving every hot second of it.

As I continued to bask in the feelings of her mouth and hand, she took her other hand and grasped my balls. She placed a little pressure on them and continued sucking. At this pace, I wasn't going to last long at all. She was the picture of perfection. I couldn't help but marvel at what I saw in front of me. This was definitely going to be filed in the spank bank.

The pressure of both her hands increased, and I let out a soft moan. Her mouth was still so wet and was alternating between sucking loosely and tightly. I could feel my cock start to tense up. The sounds she was making in the otherwise silent room were enough to push me over the edge.

"Beautiful, I'm close."

With that revelation she placed more pressure down below and tightened her grip on me. She was sucking faster and deeper and I couldn't hold out any longer. I came with a fury while still inside her mouth. My body convulsed and I was totally spent.

She peeked up at me, and with a grin, walked to the bathroom.

Holy fuck. That was the best blow job of my entire life, and that was saying something. I was ecstatic that she was great at it. There were no teeth marks and she applied the perfect pressure. Some girls tended to try and strangle it and thought that scraping their teeth against it felt good.

I mustered up enough energy to pull up my shorts. I left my shirt off since I was pretty hot and a little sweaty. My stomach growled, and I realized I was famished and thirsty. I didn't want to rummage through the kitchen so I sat and waited for Bella to emerge. It seemed like she was in the bathroom forever.

I saw the remote on the end table so I flipped on the T.V. As I was flipping through the channels she came out of the bathroom. She was wearing some little cotton shorts that clung to her girly parts and a tank top. She had taken my hat off and put her hair up in some sort of messy bun like twist. The girl who had just given me some fuck-awesome head now looked so innocent and pure.

She sat down next to me and her stomach growled, so we decided to order a pizza.

"They said 45 minutes. Do you want something to drink while we wait?" Bella asked.

"Yes please." I was hoping she had Gatorade on hand as I was confident my electrolytes had been depleted.

As she got up and walked into the kitchen, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her ass. It looked amazing in the tiny shorts and I needed to touch it. She came back into the living room with a glass filled with ice and what looked like water. I took a huge gulp and realized it was the second best thing, a Propel water. She sat down next to me shyly.

I set my glass down on the end table and turned to her. I took her glass and set it on the floor and then grabbed her wrists and pulled her towards me.

"Bella, I want to be with you. When I'm not with you, you're all I think about. Not to mention that was the most incredible blow job ever." I was smirking and waiting for her to slap me.

I didn't have to wait long. She slapped my cheek lightly, and I held her hand to my face. She took her other hand and grabbed a hold of my hair. Our lips came together with feverish passion and my tongue was fighting for dominance with hers. As the kiss broke, I ran my tongue over her bottom lip and took it in between my teeth. A moan escaped her mouth, and I felt goose bumps break out over my entire body again.

I looked her dead in the eyes and pushed her back onto the couch. My hands grasped her calves and were making their way up her silky thighs. When they reached the cotton of her shorts, I slipped them underneath and was shocked to discover that she wasn't wearing panties. My breath hitched as I continued the exploration. My fingers grazed the sides of her, rubbing tiny circles in a teasing motion. She was becoming restless as I could see her fists were clenched.

I continued trailing my fingers up and down the creases of her thighs and her knees came apart naturally. I moved to her middle and was ecstatic by the lack of pubic hair that I found. My finger found its' way to her clit, and I pressed down lightly. She elicited a moan that made me want to please her completely. I could feel the wetness before I even pushed inside of her. I continued to apply slight pressure to her button with one hand while the other held onto her shapely thigh.

I placed my finger at her opening and reveled in the wetness that I found there. I was very pleased that I had this effect on her. I pushed my way inside of her, slowly moving my finger in and out. She was tight and warm. I added another finger and continued with the in and out motion.

Her shorts were getting in the way of what I really wanted to do to her. I pulled my hand out of them and looked at my girl to make sure she was okay with what I was planning on doing. She met my hands with her own and helped me pull her shorts off. I couldn't fucking wait to see, feel, and taste her pussy.

I spread her legs and moved towards her center, leaving a trail with my tongue. I flicked it over her clit several times before trailing it inside of her. She tasted fucking incredible. I moved back to her hood and then licked downward darting it inside of her again. I couldn't help but moan at the deliciousness that was Bella's pussy.

I pulled my mouth away and moved up to her face. She had to taste this for herself. I slowly ran my tongue across her lips. They opened for me and I met them with my own. My tongue entered her mouth, and she attacked it with her own. We continued to feverishly kiss with me laying on top of her half naked body.

The kiss broke and I moved back down to her love box. I nuzzled her with my nose and then sucked on her pussy lips. I couldn't wait for her to cum in my mouth. Two of my fingers found themselves inside of her, while my mouth continued to explore her most sensitive spot. I was nipping and licking her nub and my fingers were moving with feverish diligence.

Bella's back arched off the couch as her groans and whimpers started to get louder.

"Oh. Oh. My. Holy shit. _I'mgonnacum!_"

She grabbed my hair tightly and let go in an earth shattering orgasm. I was bathed in her juices and could feel the convulsions as she came.

She sat up giving me a kiss on the lips while fumbling around looking for her shorts. She put her arms around me and we stayed with our bodies intertwined for several minutes in a comfortable silence.

"Edward. That was AMAZING," she said lustfully.

"I aim to please." I grinned at her and grabbed my drink.

She found her shorts, swatted me with them, and walked to the bathroom giving me the best view of her fabulous ass.

This girl was the peanut butter to my jelly, the spaghetti to my meatballs, and the gun to my holster. It was so soon, but for the second time in one day the word love popped into my head. I obviously wasn't going to let her know, as I'm sure that would freak her the fuck out.

Before I could deluge any deeper into my thoughts, the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of our dinner.

**That should make up for Bella's bad luck as of late...:)**

**I just now realized that writing lemons is a lot harder than reading them!**

**maxandmo loves reviews, and responds to them too...just sayin' **

**maxandmo on twitter**


	18. Faux Pee

**Thanks to all of you that read and review. I luvs ya! Maybe I need to get a life, but it makes me so happy to see people add this story to their favorites! **

**Thanks to lotusblosm for pre-reading, chainedirisheagle for support, and FIL and jarkin33 for proofing. I love my beta, secretobsession7 (secretobsess7 on twitter). **

**Stephenie Meyer owns these guys.**

**~~Chapter 18~~Faux Pee**

**~~Bella~~**

Once I barfed I felt a little better. What the fuck? Didn't people have anything better to do? I jumped in the shower and had to keep reminding myself that the red stuff pouring off of me was tomato and not blood. No need to feel sick again.

I thought of Alice and all the hard work she was putting into preparing dinner. How ironic that at the same time I was having tomatoes thrown at me, she was purposely playing with them. I wanted to rip Newton's nuts off, but it was nice to see that Emmett and Jasper had my back. I have to admit that if it had been one of them, I probably would have laughed, and then bitch slapped the PETAS.

As I was washing myself, I let my thoughts drift to Edward, his mouth, his fingers, and his ever perfect peen. I started to feel warm and tingly, especially in my lady bits. His cum tasted so sweet. He must have some trick because usually I couldn't stand that shit. I almost wanted to bottle some up so I could put it on my cereal and start the day off with some protein. I needed to snap back into reality and get my ass to work. I washed my hair three times in hopes that it didn't still smell rotten.

When I got out of the shower, I could hear Alice and Emmett talking and laughing. He was a saint for hanging out. I threw on some cargo khakis and a long sleeve t-shirt, grabbed my zip up hoodie, and headed into the living room.

To my surprise I saw Rosalie in the kitchen.

"Hey Rose," I said casually.

The three of them turned around and looked me up and down.

"What, are you bastards checking for lingering tomatoes?" I snickered and they visibly relaxed. "I'm okay. That shower felt like a million bucks." As I said that, I could feel myself blushing as I thought of the impure thoughts I was having while showering.

Alice looked nervous, and before I could ask her what was wrong, she launched herself at me, knocking me onto the couch.

"Al, you're smooshing me! I swear I'm okay." I was stuck underneath her and she was hugging the life out of me.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

I was prying her off of me. She was small but mighty and freakishly strong.

"Alice, unless you are a secret member of PETA, you didn't do anything to be sorry about. I know you hate my job, but regardless of the latest circumstances, I happen to like it."

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and let me up. I looked over to Emmett and Rose who were totally laughing at her unusual and random display of affection.

"Bella, do you really feel okay? I mean you just barfed." Emmett had his arm draped lazily around Rose and looked sincere.

"Yes Em, I'm actually pretty hungry," I said honestly.

"Tits! My Rosie has today off and we can all go to lunch," Emmett said excitedly, while rearranging his package.

"Yay! I'm in," Alice said, as she clapped her hands together. "I just know Jazz will want to come with us. He always gets hungry around now."

It was like she'd known him for years. I couldn't help but smirk at her cheesiness.

"Who the hell is Jazz?" Emmett asked, obvioulsy clueless to Jasper's nickname.

"_Jasper,_" I whispered.

Emmett got the most devious look on his face. _Jazz _now had a nickname for life.

"Alice, I would love it if Jasper met us there, but tell him he has to ditch that asshat, Mike."

I rummaged through my bag to find my phone in order to call Edward and see if he wanted to join us. I saw I had two missed calls and a text. I realized that in all the fruitiness I had forgotten to read his message.

**Beautiful...I can't stop thinking about you...all of you!**

I felt myself blushing as I thought of his tongue and the way it felt all over my vajayjay.

"Bella...BELLA! " Alice's big mouth snapped me right out of my lust filled reverie.

"What?" I snapped annoyingly.

"I asked you if Edward was coming."

"Oh. I haven't talked to him, but I'll give him a call."

I dialed his number and it went straight to voicemail. I didn't leave a message because quite frankly I hated the way my voice sounded on those things. My phone vibrated with a text immediately.

**I'm in court so I can't talk. How's ur day?**

Well, I certainly wasn't going to answer that question honestly.

**Want to meet 4 lunch?**

**Sounds great. The judge is going to break in 10 min. Where?**

I conferred with the others and we decided that the pizzeria was close to the courthouse and the state building, so it was convenient for those of us that worked downtown. Rose and Alice were going to drive separately.

**pizzeria**

"Bella you aren't gonna freak out at an Italian joint are you?" Emmett asked in all seriousness.

"Em, I'm okay. Al, I'm good with the spaghetti for dinner too."

"Dude. You're cooking dinner?" Emmett asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, Emmett. What did you think I was doing with the tomatoes?" Alice asked him with her eyebrows raised.

"I have no idea. When I make spaghetti I just pour the shit out of the jar." He looked confused as to how she was going to make her own sauce.

"Would you and Rose like to join us?" Alice asked knowingly.

"Hell to the yes!" Emmett practically had a boner. "Let's roll. Just thinking about dinner makes me need to eat lunch pronto."

We got to the pizzeria and it was pretty empty. The lunch rush was due in about an hour. I looked around and noticed a big guy sitting at a table alone with his back turned way from us. He seemed familiar to me, but I wasn't sure why.

I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away. As if he cold feel my stare, he turned around, and I saw it was the guy who saved me from a foul ball, Jacob Black. He had a surprised look on his face. I walked over as he stood up.

"Hey, Bella!" He was grinning at me with his ever so white teeth.

"Hi Jake. How are you? Come here often?" I realized how that sounded and could feel myself blush like an idiot.

He chuckled. "As a matter of fact I do. My office is just down the block. Hey, Jess told me you were from Forks. My entire family is from La Push. I think you know my Uncle Harry, and I'm pretty sure we made mud pies at one of those godawful family reunions."

Holy shit, he had been asking Jess about me. There is no way I had ever met that gorgeous piece of eye candy and not remembered.

"No way. He's my dad's best friend. What a small world! I think you've got it wrong though. I don't remember ever meeting a kid named Jacob."

I couldn't believe he was from the Quilette Reservation by the ocean. Charlie and I spent a lot of time there. I was struggling to remember him, but he was adamant that we had played together. I only remembered being forced to hang out with a gangly kid with huge horse teeth and thick glasses. It couldn't possibly have been him. There was just no fucking way he was 'Bucky Black'.

"My family and I moved here when I was ten. It pissed a lot of the elders off, but my dad was intent on starting a law practice in the big city." He was staring at me intently, and I was getting a little uncomfortable.

Realization of the law firm's name finally hit me. "Oh, Clearwater and Black. Duh. I just didn't put two and two together until now. Um, do you wear contacts?"

"Yes, Bella. It's me 'Bucky Black'. I also wore braces for like ever."

I was totally embarrassed, and I only hoped that I was a lot nicer to him than most of the other kids. He took an emotional beating back then.

"Jake, you look great. I can't believe you are the same person. You sure did grow up," I said in all honesty.

"I guess I can say the same about you, Bella." He was giving me the once over and it made me feel a little violated. "Well, I think your friends are waiting for you." He motioned over to my group who were indeed anxiously waiting for me. "Here's my card. Give me a call sometime if you need any free legal advice, or just want to catch up on old family stories. Nice to see you again." He handed me his card with a smile and sat back down.

"Nice to see you too," I said and meant it.

It was a good feeling to have another person with ties to my home town in this large city. Wait until I told Charlie.

As I was walking over to my friends, Edward walked in the door. I think I may have stopped breathing. He was in a suit and looked so fucking hot. I had never seen him dressed up. I had to block out thoughts of humping him right there.

"Um, you look incredible," I said shyly.

"Thanks beautiful. I clean up nicely." He flashed me a grin that reached all the way up to his eyes.

He gave me a hug and nuzzled my hair.

"Mmm...fruity," he said innocently.

I swallowed wrong and started to cough. _Fruity, really?_ No shit, since I conditioned with real fucking fruit this morning.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward was looking at me with concern and confusion.

"Yeah. I just swallowed wrong." I continued to cough in hopes of clearing my throat.

We all ordered and then the six of us sat down to eat. The conversation flowed easily and I couldn't help but marvel at the way we all got along. It was a great lunch until fucktard Emmett thought it would be funny to toss a fake tomato at me. I caught it and threw it back at him with a deadly look.

"Dude. Not cool," Jasper said casually.

Edward thankfully had no clue what was going on. I was relieved that no one had told him what happened. It was so fucking embarrassing and I didn't feel like getting into it right then.

Demetri came over and chatted for awhile, and before we knew it, we had to get back to work.

Alice and Jasper went outside for a quick make-out session, while the rest of us continued to talk inside. Emmett pulled Rose in for a bear hug, and I noticed him sneakily grabbing her boob. Edward and I were standing there a little awkward.

Jacob got up to head out and noticed us by the door.

"Edmond, is it?" He held his hand out to shake Edward's hand.

"Edward," he said, correcting him. They shook hands, and I noticed that Edward looked annoyed.

Tension filled the air and the testosterone was overflowing.

"Bye Bella. Give me a call," he said and walked out.

Edward looked like he wanted to rip Jacob's head off. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it sounded bad when he asked me to call him. I would just have to explain it to Edward.

Before I could say anything, Edward said he had to get back to court. He gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek and walked away.

I was hoping he was late getting back and that he wasn't actually that pissy because of Jake. It wasn't a contest, _I_ wasn't a contest. Jake was hotter than balls, but I was so into Edward I couldn't think straight.

Em, Jasper, and I headed back to the office. Thankfully it was pretty desolate when we got there. I didn't feel like being screwed with. I reached my office to find it decorated with pictures of mother fucking tomatoes. They were taped all over the place. There was nothing to do but laugh instead of cry and shut the goddamn door.

I checked my messages to find that I had forty-two voice mails. Ya-fucking-hoo. I was happy when several of them were hang-ups. Most were the usual check in calls notifying me of address or employment changes. I got two prank calls with someone calling me a 'bitch', and four were pertaining to baby's mama drama. The last two calls were from Lauren Mallory. I deleted those bitches before I even listened to her messages.

I just put my phone down and the fucker rang immediately.

"Officer Swan," I answered curtly.

"Yo bitch. You better watch your back."

"Whatever douche." I hung up on the asshole.

It rang again, but this time it was the front desk.

"Yes, Irina?"

"Bella, you have a first visit. His name is Riley Xavier and he was supposed to come in tomorrow morning but claims to have a job interview."

"Okay, I'll be out to get him in a minute."

I found his file and prepared all of the useless paperwork that he had to sign. Well, most of it was useless. The only one that really meant anything were the conditions of parole. This gave him the basic rules, and he had to sign off on them stating he understood.

I didn't have a chance to read his prior criminal history, but I would get to that later. Sometimes I preferred giving them a fresh start until they did something to make me dig into their files.

I got up and walked to the lobby.

"Riley Xavier. Riley Xavier?" I was calling out the name several times with no response.

As I was about to head back into my office a guy walked in the door. "Riley Xavier?" I asked questioningly.

"Yes ma'am. That's me." He looked really young and seemed super nervous.

I let him in the door and directed him to my office. As I walked behind him, I noticed he was pretty well dressed and walked with a little bit of a limp. I was definitely going to have to read his file.

We went over his paperwork and he signed all of the necessary forms. We headed down the hall so he could take a urine test. When we reached the bathroom he seemed extremely nervous and said that he didn't have to go. I told him to wait in the lobby until he could.

I went back to my office and started to read his file. Riley Xavier was twenty-six years old and had been in prison for the last seven years for holding up a corner store. He had no kids and his listed residence was with his parents in a decent part of town.

Irina called to tell me Mr. Xavier was ready to pee so I went and got him. He did his business in the fancy little plastic cup that I labeled and sent to the lab. I told him I would be visiting him soon at his house and wished him luck at his interview at Auto Zone.

I had a few hours to kill so I wrote some reports and played solitaire a couple of times. I was having a hard time concentrating on anything major so I caught up on Facebook and then tweezed my eyebrows. I swear those fuckers grew like crazy in the middle of the night.

There was a knock on my door, and I was longing for a peephole so I could make sure it wasn't Newton. I opened it tentatively and it was Sam.

"Bella, I have to make an office arrest. It's a female. Are you busy?" He was staring at my eyebrows in confusion.

He was such a nice guy I figured I might as well help him. Plus the guys preferred to have a female help arrest another female so that no unnecessary accusations would arise. If nothing else, it would take up some time. I couldn't wait to get home and have dinner with my man and our friends.

On the way to his office, he told me that she needed to be drug tested. It's funny how he failed to mention that part when he pulled me away from my eyebrows. Apparently, the woman's 'friend' had called Sam earlier in the day to tell him that she had been using drugs and was going to try and falsify the test.

Fucking great. Now I had to sit in the bathroom with a drug user, who was most probably a crack whore, while she tried to fudge her drug test.

We walked into his office, and I looked at the strung out girl who was sitting there. When she saw me she about shit a brick.

"Come on Bree, it's time to pee," Sam barked out with authority.

I couldn't help myself and snorted while trying to hold in my laughter. He looked at me like I was nuts, but did he really not realize what he said?

Bree and I walked into the bathroom, and I leaned against the wall acting like I wasn't paying any attention to her. She was stalling, and I knew she was up to no good. I took out my phone and acted like I was texting.

I saw her take a canister out of her pocket and open the lid. She was about to pour the liquid into the container when I told her to drop it. She dropped it alright, all over the floor. Whatever the hell was in the canister splashed up and sprayed all over my pants, soaking them.

"Fuck," I spat. "Put your goddamn hands against the wall."

She complied, and I placed her under arrest. "Sam, get your ass in here."

Sam walked in and gaped at the wetness that was my pants. "Bella, you're in the bathroom. Why didn't you say you had to go?"

"Ha ha ha," I laughed dryly.

I would have rather pissed my pants, than to have someone else's piss on them. The sucky part was now I had to go to the jail like that. Lovely.

Sometimes walking into the jail was like going to the zoo. There were caged animals making all sorts of noises. I almost wanted to throw some food at the butt heads. I was used to the cat calls, but this time it was a lot of wet pants comments along with tons of barking. Thankfully, the correction officers were quick booking her in so I could get the hell out of there.

"So, Sam. You owe me big time. I am not going back into that office. You need to go up there and get my bag and bring it to me. You are then going to drive me to my car that is parked a million blocks from here, and then I am going home."

He didn't say a word as he turned and walked into the state building.

I made it home pretty damn quick and was praying for a close parking spot. I also hoped that Alice was the only one there. I wasn't in the mood for any unnecessary humiliation.

I parked a block away, which pissed me off, no pun intended, and made my way to my apartment. I walked inside holding my messenger bag over the front of me in hopes of hiding the gigantic wet spot that was a stranger's urine. The coast seemed clear.

"ALICE! I'm home. I'm just going to jump in the shower real quick," I shouted toward the kitchen where I could hear her tinkering.

"Okay. Leave the door unlocked, I need to brush my teeth. Didn't you just take a shower?" she yelled back.

Before she could accost me, I ran into my room, where I got naked, threw on my robe, and darted for the shower.

I was enjoying the feel of the hot water running over my body and was scrubbing my lower half like a maniac. I was just a tad grossed out.

The sound of the door opening and closing pulled me from my scrubbing. "Hey Al. What time is everyone coming over?" She didn't respond, and I figured she had a mouth full of toothpaste. "Al, can you believe how hot Edward looked in a suit. My Lord, that guy really gets my juices flowing."

There was still no response from her, so I opened the shower curtain, peeked my head out, and was met with the sparkling green eyes of my federale.

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	19. Steamy Spaghetti

**Thanks to FIL for proofing and lotusblosm for pre-reading. Secretobsession7 is my wonderful beta! love her:)**

**Stephenie Meyer owns them.**

**Chapter 19~~Steamy Spaghetti~~**

**~Edward~**

I couldn't explain why Mr. Jacob Black got under my skin so bad. Perhaps it was because he was gigantic, pretty good looking, and had skin that I would definitely call caramel. Yes, I fucking picked an ice cream topping to describe his skin. I was so goddamn pale that it made me notice shit like that. The fact that he saved my girl certainly didn't help.

I couldn't believe that fuck stick had the nerve to ask her to call him right in fucking front of me. Next time I ran into that douche bag I was going to make sure he knew Bella was my girl. I didn't care if I had to attack her with my lips or even my cock right in front of him. Well, maybe not my cock, but surely my lips.

I sat through the rest of the court hearing shamelessly obsessing about whether she would call him. I was nervous she would, and I didn't want her to. We hadn't talked about our relationship and its' exclusivity yet. I mean I figured it was known that I wasn't seeing anyone else, and I just assumed that she didn't want to either.

That shit gets complicated after middle school. I mean back in the day you just slipped a girl a note and she checked yes, no, or maybe. The whole 'will you go out with me' question was lame seeing as I was in my twenties. I needed to figure out a smooth ass way to bring it up without sounding too possessive or assuming.

I had to leave right after Jacob did because I got a text about a bank robbery. As I was walking back toward the courthouse, I called Yorkie and told him I had to be present in court. He would just have to fill me in later.

Thankfully court was dismissed and my testimony wasn't needed. I hadn't been paying too close attention, and I probably would have fucked it up. There wasn't enough time to drive home and change, so I figured I'd just head over to Bella and Alice's from there.

The irony that it was Monday, and a girl was again making me dinner, wasn't lost on me. I hadn't thought about Tanya for quite some time. Probably because all I could think about was Bella. I hoped she was doing okay, but I was still pissed about my clothes and my precious bike.

When I got to the girls' apartment, the aroma was fucking awesome. If dinner tasted as good as it smelled, then Alice was incredible in the kitchen. She answered the door with a coy smile, and I followed her into the kitchen.

"Perfect timing Edward," she said with a sparkle in her eye.

"I came right from the courthouse, hence the suit. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Actually...I burned myself right before you got here and was just going to grab some ointment for it. Do you mind getting it for me in the bathroom?" she asked.

"Um, sure," I said, as Alice directed me to the bathroom.

"Edward, it should be in the top drawer. Good luck."

Why in the hell was she wishing me good luck? The drawer must be all cluttered and messy or some shit.

I entered the bathroom and froze. The water was running, as someone was obviously showering. I was ready to get the hell out of there when Bella started talking to who she thought was Alice. I could feel my dick start to swell just knowing that she was wet, naked, and mere inches away from me.

She was telling 'Alice' that I looked hot in a suit and actually mentioned her juices. I fucking loved her juices. I was seriously a goner...with a boner. I had yet to utter a word and wasn't exactly sure what to do. I mean what if she thought I was some freaky perverted peeping Tom...err...Edward or something?

As I was contemplating my next move, Bella peeked her head out of the shower and looked at me. Her expression went from surprise, to a huge grin in the matter of a millisecond. My boner was extremely happy about that, let me tell you.

"Hey," she said shyly.

"Hi. Um, Alice sent me in here. I had no idea you were taking a shower," I said nervously, hoping she was going to be cool with it.

"Well that was pretty considerate of her. I had a really pissy day, and I was looking for something to make me feel better." Bella was snickering to herself, and I didn't exactly get her inside joke.

Before I could make like a tree and leave, she reached out and grabbed my tie, pulling me closer to her.

"Do you maybe need a shower after that long day in court?"

Holy fuck. I started to undress faster than I thought possible. I tripped while trying to get my pants off, because I forgot to take off my shoes. I stepped into the scalding hot shower and was standing face-to-face with my beautiful girl.

No words were needed as we looked into each others eyes. I placed my hands on either side of her face and pulled her to me. Our lips met in a completely hot and sensual way. I moved my hands to her hair, grasping onto the thick wet waves that were cascading down her shoulders. We were completely devouring each others mouths, as our tongues were assaulting one another. I was vaguely aware of her tiny hands running circles down my back.

My hands had a mind of their own, as they moved down her body ever so slowly. They rested on the small of her back, as I continued holding her close to me. Her chest was pressed against my own, and my obscenely hard dick was touching her stomach.

Her mouth was making a trail of kisses down my neck, and it gave me goose bumps. My hands needed to occupy themselves, so they moved downward and cupped her ass. Had I mentioned that my girl had a fantastic ass? She was driving me abso-fucking-lutely insane with the way she was kissing me and trailing her fingers up and down my back.

She must have been thinking a tit for a tat because she moved her hands down and cupped my ass cheeks. Her hands gave me a hard squeeze, and I followed suit. As I was cupping her ass, I lifted up and her legs spread and wrapped around my waist. Holy fuck. We were buck ass naked, and all I could think about was sticking my dick in her.

I was trying to concentrate on what we were doing, but my subconscious kept sneaking its' way to the forefront. We hadn't had sex yet, and all I had to do was move her a fraction of an inch, and I would be inside her pearly gates. Should our first time actually be in a shower with her roommate right outside cooking spaghetti?

She brought her lips to mine and we kissed feverishly. I wanted this girl so fucking bad I could scream...instead I moaned into her mouth. As I was thinking of pulling away, she was grabbing me tighter and kissing me harder. I was typically an over thinker and contemplated and planned everything. Maybe for once I needed to just go with the flow and trust myself. Gauging by my throbbing hard cock, my body definitely knew what it wanted.

Our kiss broke and I stared into her eyes. She looked up at me through her lashes and gave me a subtle nod. That was all of the coaxing I needed.

I leaned forward placing my hands on the shower wall to brace myself. I continued to stare into Bella's eyes while I reached down with one hand placed my manhood at her entrance. I was moving it around her opening feeling her wetness leak onto me. This was hotter than the last porno I watched.

She had her hands around my neck and pulled me to her, ravishing me with a hungry kiss full of want. She then squeezed her legs tighter around my waist forcing me inside of her.

Motherfuck. She was so wet, no pun intended, and so incredibly tight. I stayed still for a second reveling in the ecstasy that was Bella's pussy. I began slow and steady movements, as she let out a soft moan into my mouth.

"You feel so good," she said breathlessly.

My thrusting started to increase and she moved her hands into my hair, slightly tugging.

"Oh, Edward...fuck."

It was so hot hearing my girl moaning and swearing. Being inside of her was the only place I ever wanted to be. Her tightness engulfed me and it was all I could do not to cum right then and there.

I could tell she was close as her breathing was increasing. Her legs were starting to quiver as I continued to thrust. I was close to cumming but we never did have the birth control talk. I mean Bella and I would make some incredible looking babies, but I sure as fuck didn't want one right now.

"I'm on the pill," she moaned.

Fuck yes. "You are so tight, Bella. This is fucking amazing," I said into her ear and then nipped at her earlobe.

"Oh. My. Edward! I'm cumming." She was breathing so heavy and bucking her hips steadily into mine while moaning my name over and over.

That was all I needed to see and hear in order to find my own release. I came with a fury and my body was totally convulsing. We stayed together a couple of minutes while our breathing regulated. It was only then did I realize that the water was lukewarm at best. I steadied myself and helped Bella to stand upright.

I took her face in my hands and gave her a slow and sensual kiss on the lips.

I broke the kiss and was staring at the incredible girl in front of me. "You are beautiful...inside and out." I couldn't help but smirk at how that sounded.

"I'll take that as a double compliment," she said while pinching my shoulder.

We stepped out of the shower and started to dry off. I needed to get my ass back in my damn suit. I was seriously going to have to keep an extra set of clothes in my bureau car. Lord knew the Volvo was stocked with all kinds of shit.

She watched me dress with a twinkle in her eye. "You are one hot piece of ass."

"Why thank you Officer Swan," I said coyly.

She was wearing this godawful big ass yellow terry cloth robe. Note to self: buy her a new robe.

She caught the uneasy look on my face. "What? I love this thing. I've had it since high school."

I can't say that I was surprised. She took my hand and guided me to her bedroom. I was anxious to see her room, but was assaulted with the stench of urine as soon as we walked in. To say I suddenly got nervous was an understatement. All sorts of thoughts were running through my head. Did she pee the bed? Did she ever clean this room? Was she hiding a cat I didn't know about?

I looked at her and her face was scarlet. "Bella, what is that smell?"

She started to fidget and embarrassingly looked away. She was mumbling and all I could make out was 'pee' 'whore' 'bottle'. I turned her towards me. "I can't understand a word you just said."

"A crack whore tried to fake a drug test by using someone else's pee. I told her to drop it and she did...all over my pants."

I was rendered speechless. The girl had the worst flipping luck.

She threw on some yoga pants with a fitted t-shirt and we headed out of her room. As soon as we turned the corner into the living room we were assaulted with clapping and a whole lot of obnoxious cheers. All four of our friends were sitting on the couch with shit eating grins on their faces.

Emmett put his hand up for a high five, which I politely grabbed and twisted until he said 'mercy'. Jasper had a grin on his face, and Alice looked like the cat who ate the canary.

"Edward, my burn is just fine," she said with a wink.

Rose was laughing and calling Emmett a puss for the way he was continuously rubbing his hand.

I looked at Bella who was ten shades of red once again. "Bella, you look like a tomato," I commented innocently.

Jasper spit his drink out with a loud snort and chuckle, and Emmett about fell over. I mean I knew I was funny sometimes, but I didn't think what I just said was cause for all that reaction. Rose looked nervous, and Alice was trying not to laugh.

"What?" I looked around the room with a questioning look.

Jasper was the first one to speak up. "Bella got bombarded with rotten tomatoes on her way into the office by those crazy ass PETA people. Emmett broke up the party and saved her from more fruit bashing."

"You got tomatoes thrown at you and peed on all in one day?" I didn't mean to state the obvious, it just flew out of my mouth.

"What? You fucking got peed on today too?" Emmett was busting a gut. "Holy shit, or should I say piss?"

"Ha, ha, ha...real fucking funny you assholes. I was trying to help out Sam and some crack whore tried to fake a drug test. Needless to say, I arrested her but not before she dropped the container. So yes, I got pee on me, but no, I wasn't peed on. Capece? Who's hungry?"

With that, she turned and walked into the kitchen. My girl was one hell of a good sport.

The rest of us followed, and as we walked into the kitchen, I couldn't help but stare. Alice was amazing. The table had place cards written in a fancy script adorning the perfectly set table. The setting was vintage Italy. There were clusters of grapes wrapped around three bottles of red wine, and candelabra candles were already lit.

We all sat down in our designated seats as Alice set the serving bowls on the table. I looked over at Jasper and gave him a smile. He looked so impressed, as he should be.

Emmett cleared his throat and held his hand out to Rose. She grasped it and held hers out to Jasper, who raised his eyebrows and then continued the motion. As we were collectively holding hands Emmett began a prayer.

"Dear Lord, Thanks for letting me hear Alice say she was making dinner so that she felt like she had to invite me and my Rosie. Please keep us safe...especially Bella who keeps having some pretty shitty luck. And thanks for letting my boy Edward get some." He winked at me and Bella and started digging into the bowl of pasta.

I wasn't surprised that Emmett attempted a prayer, seeing as I knew his mom had drilled that shit into his head from birth. She would definitely freak out if she heard what he was thankful for.

We were all finishing up eating when my phone rang. My stomach dropped as it was never good news when my phone rang on a Monday evening. I excused myself from the table and took the call when I saw that it was Yorkie.

"Yorks, what's up?" I asked.

"Hey bro, sorry to bug you again, but there is a hostage situation at some Italian joint. They think it may be the same guy who robbed that bank earlier." He was shouting and I figured he must have already been on the scene. "Boss wants our whole squad there ASAP."

"Okay, I'll be on my way in a few."

I went back inside and was met with four pairs of expectant eyes.

"I'm so sorry but I have to go. Duty calls. Dinner was incredible Alice, and so was the company." I was staring directly at Bella.

"Dude, you're going to miss dessert. Oh wait, you had that _before _dinner." Emmett was slapping his knee in hysterics.

Rose smacked him in the head at the same time I called him a dick. It really was amusing to see how easily he could crack himself up.

I met Bella's eyes and motioned for her to follow me to the door. We walked outside, and I pulled her into me for a hug. I kissed the top of her head and held her close.

"Bella, I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total tool, but today was incredible. _You_ are incredible. You have been through a ton in the short time I have known you, and I'm amazed at how strong you are. It doesn't seem like anything fazes you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I only want to be with you, and I hope you feel the same. Will you be my girlfriend?" I expelled a deep breathe and felt like such an idiot.

"I thought you'd never ask," she responded as she grabbed my face and pulled me to her for a kiss that sealed the deal.

I was floating on cloud nine when I left their apartment. So much so that I realized once I started driving that I had no idea where in the hell I was going. I called Yorkie but there was no answer. Next I dialed crotchety Agent Caius. He answered the phone but was completely out of breath. I asked him where they were and when he told me I felt the hairs on my neck raise. I could hear people yelling and screaming in the background, and then the call was lost.

The 'situation' was at the same fucking restaurant where Tanya worked. I tried to calm myself down enough to continue driving. I remembered that it was Monday which meant that most probably she wasn't working. I stepped on the gas and sped like a motherfucker.

It only took me a matter of minutes to get there, but it felt like hours. The scene in front of me was complete and crazy chaos. The flashing lights of cop cars were overwhelming, and there were people everywhere. I threw my car in park and ran up to a group of cops that I saw. They pointed me in the direction of my co-workers. Yorkie ran over to me with an uncomfortable look on his face.

"What's going on?" I asked tentatively.

"You need to come with me now!" He was frantic and I had no choice but to follow.

As we entered the restaurant I saw a body on the ground with a puddle of blood next to it. Before I could ask Yorkie what in the hell had happened I heard someone behind me screaming my name.

I turned around to see Tanya in hysterics covered in blood.

**My chapter of sexy fluff ended in drama. I love reviews...especially nice ones, and respond to every one! I'm maxandmo on twitter, and Maxandmo Fanfiction on facebook.**


	20. Closets Bite

**A huge thank you to all my readers! *Mwah* Thanks to lotusblosm for pre-reading and secretobsession7 for her mad proofing skills!**

**Stephenie Meyer may own the books, but she doesn't own _this _world!**

**~Chapter 20~**

**~Bella~Closets Bite**

I would take tomatoes and pee any day if it meant that the outcome was a gorgeously well-hung boyfriend. Thankfully, Monday went out with a bang. Well, bang isn't exactly the way I would describe the amazing fuck-hot sex that Edward and I had in the shower.

Never did I imagine our first time being in a shower, but when all was said and done, it was incredible. I could tell he was a little hesitant, but my encouragement was all he seemed to need. The fact that we hadn't planned the event made it come naturally and set my nerves at ease. It had been eons since I had actual intercourse, and I never really felt like I was missing anything. Now I finally got what everyone talked about. Sex with Edward was like nothing else I had ever experienced. Just thinking about it got my panties in a ruffle.

Now that we got our first time out of the way, I planned on it happening a lot and on a permanently regular basis. The man was hot, and he was my boyfriend. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. No matter how many times I said the word out loud, I was a smiling, giddy cheese ball.

It was crazy to me that he seemed to get nervous around me sometimes. I mean, hello, he was the total package. I was the one who should be nervous. For some reason, the man made me feel at ease and helped with my lacking self esteem. Of course, I was still afraid of saying the wrong thing, or acting the wrong way in front of him. He could have any one and yet he wanted me.

"Earth to Bella. Hello!" Alice was screeching at me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"I asked you like three times if you wanted to meet us for dinner tomorrow after work." She was motioning over to Rose and then back to herself. As if I couldn't figure out who the 'us' was.

"Um, yeah. Sure," I answered hesitantly, even though I was used to grabbing Mexican with them on Tuesdays. It was almost as if I wanted to ask Edward first. Not like for permission or anything, but just to make sure that he didn't have anything planned for us.

"You can just meet us at the salon like you usually do. Oh, and come as early as you can." Alice was looking at Rose who then nodded in confirmation.

"What?" I asked them both while giving them dirty looks.

"Honey, I have no idea who you let at those eyebrows of yours, but they need my attention." Rose was staring at me intently and it was making me self conscious.

"A trim wouldn't hurt either," Alice said with certainty. "Oh, and maybe some highlights."

"Alright." I knew there was no use in fighting them. Then again, I could use some TLC.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you that Lauren Mallory's appointment is tomorrow too." Alice was looking at me with a twinkle in her eye, and I could only imagine what she had in mind. My friend was one loyal girl.

I looked over to the boys and could tell that Emmett and Jasper were completely stuffed. It was obvious by the way Jasper was rubbing his belly and Emmett was unbuttoning his pants. Alice was in a whirlwind, cleaning up after everyone, and I almost felt guilty for not helping. She insisted that we get out of her way, so the five of us moved into the living room.

Jasper picked up the remote and flipped to the news.

"Dude, really?" Emmett asked. "You still watch the news?"

"Yeah. Why? Don't you guys?" Jasper asked, looking at us questioningly.

"No," we said at the same time.

"Why the hell not? Don't you want to see if any of your guys have done anything crazy? I love this channel. They broadcast the top local stories every hour." He was staring at the T.V. willing the commercial to end.

"Wow! Who knew? I never knew this channel existed," I answered sarcastically. "I try to avoid the news. Especially since last week."

Emmett snickered, and Rose flicked him without even tearing her eyes away from the latest issue of Cosmo.

I settled into the couch and was just beginning to daydream about hot shower sex, when Emmett moved toward the TV, knocking over his drink in the process.

"Shit!" he scowled. "Jasper, turn it up."

No one could have given a rat's ass about the spilled drink after we saw the leading news story. We all sat there glued to the screen.

"Well, I guess we know where Edward went," Alice said worriedly.

The reporter was in front of a swanky Italian restaurant reporting live. Apparently, a man with a gun had entered the restaurant and proceeded to make everyone inside empty their wallets. When he caught one of the servers trying to call the police, he went ape shit, and took an employee hostage.

The gunman was thought to be in a gang, and gauging by his erratic behavior, on drugs. The situation ended badly for him as he was shot and killed by an F.B.I. Swat Team member.

The TV screen split in half with one side showing the criminal and the other side showing a hysterical woman being carried out by an F.B.I. Agent.

"Fuck!" Emmett exclaimed. "That dude is on my caseload."

The TV cameras zoomed in on the distraught woman, asking her to comment.

"No comment. Show some respect," said a voice I would recognize anywhere.

I focused on the television to see my boyfriend holding the woman in his arms possessively, while he ushered her away from the scene.

"Isn't that Tanya?" Rose said nervously, while glancing at me.

"Yeah, it sure is," Alice nodded in confirmation. "I'm pretty sure she works there."

"I better get home. I've got to get to the office butt-crack early now. Hopefully all my ducks are in a row on this case, or I am totally screwed." Emmett was flustered and looked nervous as all hell.

Rightfully so since his case notes would be examined with a fine toothed comb. As if it was Emmett's fault that the fucker held up a restaurant. The liability factor of our job was insane. Emmett's week was going to suck ass for sure.

He and Rose got up to leave, thanking Alice profusely for dinner. Rose surprisingly gave me a hug and sort of lingered. I could tell there was something she wanted to say, but wasn't sure if she should say it. She opted not to say anything and just hugged me tighter.

"Em, give me a call if there's anything I can do to help," I said and gave him a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and thanks again for this morning. I owe you!"

They left, which in turn left me with a fidgety Alice and an uncomfortable Jasper.

"I'm fine you guys. I'm just happy he's okay. Obviously, Tanya is traumatized and he needed to help her. It's cool."

"Are you sure Bella? We were going to head over to Jasper's, but I can stay here if you want.

"Alice don't be an ass. Go with Jazz. I. Am. Fine." Hopefully she believed me.

"Okay. As long as you're sure. I'll see you tomorrow for dinner." Alice gave me a kiss on the cheek and led Jasper out the door.

"See you in the morning Bella," Jasper said on his way out.

"Later," I yelled to him.

I really wanted to call Edward, but I was scared he wouldn't answer or worse yet, that he would and I would hear _her _in the background. I opted to text instead.

**Glad u r ok. Call me if u can. Thinking of u...and the shower**

I went to my room and started to read one of my comfort books. I had read it a million times, but it was like my version of chocolate. Not that Wuthering Heights was an uplifting bundle of joy, but I loved the story and reading it always brought me a sense of calm.

I couldn't concentrate, so I decided I would Skype my mom. My black eye was gone so she wouldn't have to freak out and beg me to move to Florida.

"Hey sweetie! I was just thinking about you. Phil and I are playing Scrabble, I know how you love that game." She looked great. She was tan, and her hair was stylishly cut with red highlights.

She tended to forget that I could actually _see _her. They may have been playing Scrabble at some point, but my mother was sitting on Phil's lap and was scantly clad to say the least. Phil was shirtless, and I could see he had been working out...a lot. Phil was a bit younger than my mom, but she could also pass for my sister.

I still couldn't figure out how my mom and dad ever got together. Maybe she found the cop side of Charlie to be hot. Who knows? Renee goes through so many phases, I'm sure Charlie was just one of them.

"How are things? Any boys?" She was licking her lips and sort of moving around on Phil's lap. I was getting so grossed out. Damn Skype. "Bella! You are blushing. Are you being safe?"

Like I said, damn Skype! I really wasn't planning on telling my mom that I just had hot sex in the shower. Disturbingly enough, she would probably start to really bounce around on Phil's lap.

"Um, Renee, of course I'm blushing. You are sitting on Phil's lap nearly naked."

I proceeded to tell her the basics that were Edward. She was happy, to say the least, and so was I. Before she could offer to demonstrate any sexual maneuvers she had recently come up with, I told her I had to go. Renee was definitely marching to a different beat. Loved her and all, but she was an odd one.

I got back to my book, and was just starting to nod off, when my phone vibrated.

**Miss u. Can't talk now...but I wish I was in the shower**

I was so relieved he texted me back, but I couldn't shake the uneasiness that I felt. He and Tanya had history and even though he chose to leave her, it was still too fresh. My heart was starting to hurt as I let my mind wander to a million different scenarios.

Then I let my mind wander to the sex. Not only would I most likely die if we never did it again, but there was no way anyone would ever compare to being with him. The future of my sex life was in jeopardy and I was pissed. I couldn't look at it as a wasted number since there was no way I would take it back. It was just totally my luck that the very day we did the deed, he was called to rescue his ex-girlfriend.

I fired up my computer and figured nothing would put me to sleep like looking at people's kids on Facebook, so that's exactly what I did...for hours. I could tell you every single fucking kid's name, what activities they were in, and where their last birthday parties were at. I was tired all right, but not the type of tired that was needed to sleep.

My nosiness got to me, so I googled the Italian restaurant, and then I read every story that had been posted about the incident. None of them were any more detailed than the news report. The restaurant had its' own website, so I searched around until I found a picture of Tanya, who happened to be December's Employee of the Month.

I zoomed in on her picture and stared at it. So, I wouldn't exactly describe her as pretty, but she was definitely attractive. Maybe hot was a better word, but definitely not plain. I did what any investigator would do...logged back in to Facebook now that I had her last name.

Low and behold she had an account. Not surprising since everyone seemed to. I should have taken a fucking sleeping pill to save me from the torture I was about to endure.

Ms. Tanya's relationship status was listed as 'in a relationship', and she conveniently forgot to protect her privacy. I couldn't help my curiosity as I read her info. I now knew all of her favorite books and movies, along with where she went to school and what her hobbies were. I was officially an internet stalker.

I took a deep breath and dove head first into her pictures. This chick took an insane amount of pictures. I came to an album labeled 'Edward' and wanted to puke. There were over two hundred pictures in the album. I started to scroll through and really wanted to puke. There were pictures of them at the zoo, at baseball games, at the beach, on his Harley, at the FBI Academy for his graduation, you name it, they had pictures. Not to mention the girl could rock a bikini.

The worst part about it was that he looked happy. He had his arms around her and was even kissing her in some of them. When I saw a picture of her in the Mariners hat that I now possessed, I decided it was time to shut the computer off. I hadn't realized until then, that there were silent tears pouring down my face.

Why the fuck was I so nosey? I was going to kick Charlie's ass the next time I saw him. It was more proof that I was my father's daughter. And as such, I would take the night to wallow in my sorrows and face tomorrow as if nothing ever happened.

Work was busy as hell, and I was in no mood for bullshit. I made an office arrest because the dude tested positive for weed for like the tenth time. It's not like he would get sent back to prison for that shit, so the best I could do was keep him locked up for a few days.

Emmett was locked in his office going over his notes, and Jasper was in the field. I could hear Newton's annoying voice, and I was happy his office was all the way down the hall. I was definitely not in the mood for his dumb ass.

My phone rang, and it was Riley Xavier calling to tell me that he got the job at Auto Zone. At least someone was having good luck. I cut him short when my cell rang. It was Edward.

"Hey beautiful." He was practically shouting. "Are you in the office?"

He sounded tired, yet anxious.

"Yep. How are you?" I was trying to sound chipper and not think of that bitch in my hat. Well, technically it was the other way around, but whatever.

"Hey, I need a favor. Emmett is swamped, and I need to get into his guy's apartment. We think he may have robbed a bank yesterday before the restaurant, and we need to do a search. Can you come with us so we don't need to get a warrant?"

"Sure." Fuck, I was super busy, but there was no way I was turning down that offer.

"Alright, I'll pick you up outside your office."

We, as parole officers, could do warrantless searches of an offender's residence. Other law enforcement agencies used the shit out of us because of it. We didn't care, as long as it got us out of the office.

I was nervous, but anxious to see him. I signed out with Irina and told Em what I was doing. He was bummed that he couldn't go, but looked like he was pulling his hair out. I wished him luck and headed out the door.

Edward and Yorkie were waiting at the curb. My _boyfriend_ had on the most incredible aviator sunglasses, and his hair was its' usual out of control madness. When he saw me, he jumped out of the car and wrapped his arms around me. I was relieved to say the least. His arms were exactly what I needed to get rid of the images that were burned into my brain. He looked amazing in his FBI bulletproof vest. It was a vision straight out of the movies.

He nuzzled his face in my hair, inhaling. "Mm, you always smell so good."

"I've taken a lot of showers lately," I said with a smirk.

"I've been thinking of a shower...with you...all day," he whispered as he helped me into the car.

On the drive to the apartment, the guys filled me in on the bank robbery. The video and description of the robber matched that of the guy from the restaurant. They hoped to find some evidence at his residence. He was also thought to be a member of my ever-loving South End Riders. Fan-fucking-tastic. At least I knew _that_ guy wouldn't be bothering me.

We pulled up to a small apartment building that was covered in gang graffiti. There was the usual cluster of hoodlums hanging around in front of it; smoking what was most probably weed, and drinking beer out of paper bags. It was the middle of the fucking day people. They scattered like field mice when they spotted us.

We climbed four flights of stairs to get to the apartment and I was winded as hell. I was trying to catch my breath, but also trying even harder not to let Edward see how embarrassingly out of shape I was. We reached the apartment door and could hear noise inside. Edward took the lead and started banging on the door.

A teenaged kid opened the door wearing signature South End Rider gear, holding a 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45. Can we say ghetto?

"It's the Po Po!" he shouted as he turned and ran inside.

The three of us drew our weapons and barged in. Mass chaos was erupting due to our arrival. Someone ran into the bathroom and we could hear the toilet flush, and another guy was attempting to squeeze himself through the window.

"Don't anybody move!" Yorkie yelled, while pulling the man out from the window.

He placed window guy on the ground and handcuffed him, while Edward busted into the bathroom. I stood with my weapon pointed at the other two. Edward dragged the guy out of the bathroom by his pristine white t-shirt, slamming him to the ground and slapping cuffs on his wrists.

Bathroom guy looked familiar, and as he was glaring at me, I knew that I recognized him from the park incident. He called me a 'bitch', which only made his cuffs hitch tighter thanks to Edward.

The other two were handcuffed and it was time to search the apartment. Yorkie stayed with the cuffed group and Edward motioned for me to take the living room.

I came across some roach clips and a couple of joints, which really was not surprising considering where we were. There were beer bottles scattered all over, along with empty pizza boxes. I had to resist the urge to straighten up. I continued looking around for any sort of evidence, but came up empty.

I walked over to the hall closet and was in the process of opening the door, when I heard Edward yell 'jackpot' from the bedroom. I heard a noise behind me, and as I turned back toward the closet, something, or should I say someone, knocked right into me. We were on the ground struggling and he was trying to get away. I held onto an ankle for dear life and was horrified that my gun was no longer in my hand. The fucking ankle that I was holding onto was attached to a foot that was kicking at me. I did what any intelligent person, well maybe I should say girl, would do and started to bite.

"Ow, fuck! I give, just STOP BITING ME!" the kicker screamed.

I got on top of his back and handcuffed the hell out of him. Besides, the fucker almost gave me a heart attack.

I rolled him over and felt a wave of disappointment wash over me. It was Riley fucking Xavier, and he was wearing the signature white t-shirt.

**Crazy bastards hide in closets all the time. Never do that...it's a good way to get shot...or bitten...**

**I love reviews and new readers! Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, hell, even tell your enemies to read this fuckery that is FBIward and POSwan. I respond to every review:)**

**maxandmo on the twitter...**

**check out my favorite stories if ur looking for something to read...oh, and how bad did I want Bella to say 'Laters' to Jasper? No stealing from Icy!**


	21. Shit for Brains

**A huge smooch to all of you who are reading this...a bigger smooch to those of you who review...okay... huge smooch from FBIward...I'm sure you'd rather have him kiss you. **

**Thanks to cyndi407 for the term: Vampire Girl:)**

**Lotusblosm pre-reads and secretobsession7 added all of my missing commas and fixed some words! You girls rule!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns this. **

**Chapter 21~~Shit for Brains**

**Edward**

Never in a hundred and seven years would I have thought that Bella and I would have sex for the first time in a shower. I wasn't proud of that fact, though I was pretty proud of my performance. I tried, okay, so I thought about trying, to hold out, but my girl was in there naked. When she actually pulled me to her, there was nothing I could do but submit to her request and 'clean up'.

I figured we would mess around a little...err...a lot, but I didn't anticipate that we would go all the way. I wasn't prepared for it and was pleasantly surprised that Bella was on the pill. Well, let's be honest, I was fucking ecstatic. I only hoped it was for bad cramps or some shit. I didn't want to believe that she used it for actual birth control, except for with me of course.

Being inside of my girl was like heaven. She was so tight, it was almost virginal. I think I went through the entire batting line-up of the Mariners, so that I didn't prematurely ejaculate. In other words, I didn't want to feel like a schmuck and cum too fast.

I hoped, now that our first time was out of the way, we could properly explore a fuck load of sexual options. Not that I was into anything too freaky, but I couldn't wait to properly ravish Bella, who by the way, was now my girlfriend.

Getting a work call was always a rush. I never knew what it was going to be. The timing wasn't the best, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. I had finished eating, and manged to awkwardly ask Bella if she wanted to be my girlfriend, before I left. She didn't actually say yes, but instead pulled me in for a kiss that made my dick twitch. That girl was one hell of a good kisser.

It was stupid of me to think that nothing could kill my 'after sex and now have a girlfriend' buzz. Fuck, was I wrong. After speeding like a motherfucker to get to the scene, I was trying to remain calm. The calmness quickly dissipated the minute I heard Tanya's voice screaming my name. It was all I could do to not totally freak out when I turned around and saw her covered in blood.

"Edward," she sobbed, while wrapping her shaking hands around my waist.

"Tanya, are you hurt? Try and calm down. What happened?" I was trying to look her over but she was sobbing and holding onto me for dear life.

"Oh my god! I thought he was going to kill me. I thought I was going to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. How could this happen?" she wailed with a new round of fresh tears.

"The gunman was holding a gun to her head and threatening to kill her unless we complied with his every demand." Yorkie was sweating like a motherfucker and talking a mile a minute. "The minute his movements started to get too erratic, SWAT shot and killed him."

Holy hell, Tanya was his hostage. I couldn't even fathom what she was going through, having just been in the grasp of a madman. It could have been her laying lifeless and bloody on the floor. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with emotions. I was not in love with her, and never had been, but she had been a major part of my life for quite sometime, and I only hoped she could get past this traumatic event.

"Tanya, I'm here. It's okay. He can't hurt you," I said as I continued to hold her. I was trying to sooth her and calm myself down in the process. I should have been there sooner, but I was there now, and needed to do everything in my power to help her through it. "Shh. It's going to be okay." We were slowly swaying, as if it was a slow dance.

"Edward, boss wants us to meet up at the precinct so we can write up the statements and get the initial reports done. Tanya will need to be there as well." Yorkie was cautiously trying to guide us out of there.

Tanya and I broke apart, and I finally let myself take a look at her. To say she looked like hell was a gross understatement. She had terrible bags under her eyes, and as I looked closely, I noticed brain matter plastered to her hair. She was splattered with blood, that was starting to dry, and smelled awful. I put my arms out in front of me and noticed that I was now covered in bodily fluids as well.

I forced the irritation to the back of my mind, as I took off my suit jacket and offered it to her. She was wearing an oversized cardigan sweater over a pair of leggings. She stared at my jacket for a minute before she started to put it on over her sweater.

"Tanya, take off your sweater, and then put the jacket on," I said matter-of-factly. "My jacket is a lot cleaner than your sweater."

She started to hand it back to me, and then changed her mind. She turned around, taking off the sweater, and putting on my jacket. When she turned back toward me, while buttoning it up, she gave me a slightly panicked look. Tanya was never one for being modest, and it was a little unnerving that she decided to start. I couldn't over analyze her for it, seeing as she had just been held hostage not long ago.

She still looked uneasy and her hands were still shaking.

"Let's get you out of here." I picked her up and headed out the door.

There were news vans lined up at the perimeter, and I could see the bright lights of the cameras. I could hear the media frenzy erupt as they spotted us exiting the building.

Their words were running together, and they reminded me of vultures circling their prey. They were showing absolute disrespect, and it was all I could do not to shove their fucking cameras up their asses.

I held Tanya closer and rushed past them. One fucker, who reminded me of Newton, was actually cracking jokes to the guy next to him and fucking had the nerve to snicker. We made eye contact and he could tell I was pissed.

"Aren't you going to tell us what happened _Agent_?" He purposely dragged out the word 'agent' and I could have cold cocked him.

"No comment. Show some respect," I shouted with venom.

"Fuck him." The 'Newton reminder guy' said to his friend.

I turned around and glared at him. If I wasn't holding Tanya, who was getting heavier by the minute, I would have beat that fucker's ass.

"How the hell did he hear me?" he said, utterly surprised.

We arrived at the local precinct and Tanya was a nervous mess. "What were you doing there on a Monday anyways?" I asked her.

"I just went to get my sch...sched...scheduuule." She started sobbing once again, and I couldn't help but think what a long night it was going to be.

There really wasn't a lot for me to do in all honesty. I hadn't been at the scene prior to the shooting, and I was at court during the bank robbery. I was, however, stuck there as Tanya's moral support.

She went to the restroom, and I checked my phone to see if I had missed any calls. There was a text from Bella, which made me smile in spite of the situation. In total inappropriate fashion, my cock came to life as I read my favorite new word 'shower'. My girl knew how to text.

I texted her back as Tanya came out of the bathroom. I subtly rearranged my package and put my phone away. She could have been killed and there I was smiling, with a chubby. I was a complete asshole.

I looked up at her and noticed she was grasping her stomach in pain. "Tanya, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm okay. I just feel a little sick. I'm fine, really." She was taking deep breaths and continued to clench her stomach.

I walked over and grabbed her a chair to sit on. "Tanya, sit down and try to relax."

She gingerly sat down, and I couldn't help but think that she looked heavier than the last time I saw her. I was sure the oversized clothes didn't help, not to mention being coated with some fucker's brains.

I waited until she calmed down a little before proposing that she take a shower. I was trying not to be a dick, but I was getting sort of grossed out.

"Tanya, it's going to be awhile before you have to give your statement. How about you sh...get cleaned up?" I couldn't bring myself to say my new favorite word to Tanya. "There's a locker room down the hall."

"I don't have any clothes, Edward." Her breathing had finally returned to normal.

"I'll get you some. Don't worry about that. Do you feel well enough?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said hesitantly.

I walked her down the hall and directed her to the locker room. "I'll make sure no one comes in. I'm going to find you something to wear. There are towels and toiletries inside."

"Okay, but can you please hurry up. I don't want to be alone. I am so freaked out."

I didn't want to point out that we were in a police station for crying out loud. I turned away and headed in search of some clothes.

"Alright, I'll hurry."

I managed to find her a pair of shorts that said 'Seattle's Finest' on them, but was coming up empty on shirts. I knew that the whole department would prefer it if I came up empty, but now was not the time to propose flashing.

I remembered that my gym bag was in my car. I went outside and grabbed her a t-shirt from the bag, and an FBI hoodie that was in the car. I was trying to hurry, as I didn't want to get her anymore upset.

I tentatively knocked on the locker room door, but didn't get a response. I walked in and could hear her talking in a hushed voice on her cell phone. I didn't want to eavesdrop, as it was none of my business who she was talking to. I cleared my throat, alerting her of my presence. She immediately ended the call.

"Hey," she said.

"I found you some clothes," I said, as I handed them to her.

"Thanks. I think I'll take that shower now." She started to undress, but then hesitated.

"Um, okay, I'll just wait out in the hall," I said, unsure of what she wanted me to do.

"Thanks. Hey, do you mind calling Angela and asking her if she'll come here?"

"Sure. I'll call her." I was relieved that she would have someone else to lean on for the support that she would need.

I walked out of the locker room so a newly shy Tanya could get undressed. I guess it was a good thing she didn't want me in there so that the situation didn't get even more awkward. Fuck, I hadn't even had a chance to give her shit about my Harley...not to mention my jeans!

"Edward, boss is ready for Tanya." Yorkie looked like he had been awake for days. "Is she okay?"

"She feels a little sick, but she's showering now," I said, while motioning towards the locker room. "I told her I'd wait out here."

"Alright, I'll tell boss you'll both be in when she's done." Yorkie walked towards the conference room.

I walked the hallway aimlessly while she was showering. I thought about calling Bella, but it was late, and I didn't want to wake her. I realized that I almost forgot to call Angela, so I proceeded to dial her number. We spoke for a minute, and she said she would leave shortly.

Tanya walked out of the locker room looking much better than when she entered it. We walked to the conference room together. We sat down and she was asked to give her statement. She started to get extremely anxious and nervous while she was reliving the nightmare. I felt terrible for her. She didn't deserve what she was going through. She'd been through enough lately.

Her statement was complete, and as we walked out of the room, Angela was waiting in the hallway. Tanya ran up to her and they tightly embraced. She started sobbing once again.

"I thought we were going to die." She was holding onto Angela and was giving her a few details of what happened in between sobs.

"It's okay sweetie. You're going to be okay. Do you feel alright?" Angela was rubbing her back and looked genuinely concerned.

"I had some cramping earlier and felt sick, but I'm okay now." She was hiccuping, as she glanced back at me.

"Agent Cullen, I need to see you in the conference room," Boss said, in a serious tone.

"It's okay Edward. I'll bring her home," Angela said.

I said goodbye, gave Tanya a quick and awkward hug, and walked to the conference room.

Boss, Yorkie and I went over the details of the day from hell. It turned out that the victim/robber was on parole, which meant we would be able to get into the residence with no problems.

He was also a member of the South End Riders. The word on the street was that those losers were doing almost anything to gain some street cred. It was getting entirely out of hand.

The plan was to search the residence in the morning, hoping to find the stolen money, so we would be able to close the case.

I was so happy that Angela had come to take care of Tanya. It simply wasn't my job anymore, and doing so would only make things harder on her.

After tossing and turning all night with nightmares, I decided I would just get up with the birds, and start my day. I dreamt of a gunman holding a hostage, but when he turned her around it was Bella instead of Tanya. It was when I heard the gunshot that took the gunman's life, that I bolted upright in my bed.

I threw on some clothes, and decided a run would help clear my head, and get rid of anxious feelings that my dreams caused. I couldn't shake the guilty feelings I had from being thankful that the hostage had been Tanya and not Bella. What the fuck? What an insensitive thing to think. Before I knew it I was making my way back to my place at a sprinter's pace.

I checked my phone before I showered and noticed I had a text. I opened it an couldn't help but laugh.

**eDWard, can u cOME over 4 super 2niTE!.?**

It was from my mother, God love her. What the hell, she was a pretty good cook. I almost wanted to see what Bella was doing first, but I needed to answer my mom.

**Sure mom. That would b SUPER.**

I knew that I needed to see Bella. I figured if I could get Bella to come with me to search the apartment, I could kill two birds with one stone. I guess I could classify Bella as a bird since her last name was 'Swan'. I got ready for work and called the parole office on my way downtown.

"Hey Irina. It's Edward," I said sweetly.

"Well hello to you Agent. I am assuming you're calling to see who that shithead's officer was," she said without pausing.

Irina knew what was up better than anyone.

"Yep. You've got it," I said.

"Well, you're buddy has been here for hours already. He is wigging out and has locked himself in his office."

"Alright." Poor Emmett. He was going to be dragged through the coals. "Can you transfer me to Officer Swan?"

"Sure thing baby."

It was great to hear my girlfriend's voice. I couldn't wait to see her, even if it was to do something potentially dangerous. The best case scenario was that the landlord could let us into an empty apartment.

Of course, the best case scenario wasn't what was in the plans. We ran up the four flights of stairs to get to the correct apartment. Of course it was on the top floor. I was in decent shape, but found myself winded. I was hoping that Bella didn't notice. When we got to the door, we could hear noise inside. I banged as loud as I could without fucking up my hand, and a young looking kid answered. He quickly tried to slam the door, but I forced my way inside before he could do so.

Bella and Yorkie were close behind. As the three of us entered the apartment with our weapons drawn, we saw three guys and could hear one in the bathroom.

I busted into the bathroom to see an asscrack that belonged to a skinny kid. He was bending over the toilet emptying a baggie, of what I suspected was cocaine, into it. His pants were sagging so low I thought they might fall off of him. I knocked him away from the toilet and grabbed a hold of his t-shirt.

The bathroom was small as fuck, so I dragged him out into the kitchen area. I pushed him to the ground, and was putting my cuffs on him, when I noticed that he had stopped moving and was glaring at Bella.

"Bitch," he snarled at her.

I proceeded to cuff him as tight as the cuffs would go. He fucking called my girl a 'bitch'. I needed to stay calm, when in reality I wanted to kick the shit out of him, and then force him to apologize. Although that would be chivalrous, I'm sure it would have pissed Bella the fuck off.

We had the situation under control and needed to do what we came there for. I motioned for Bella to search the living room area, while I went into the bedroom. I was pissed that I forgot my rubber gloves. The place was fucking filthy. I looked around and nothing was glaringly obvious.

I turned the bed inside out, searched through the dressers, and looked in the closet. Nada. I was about to call it a day, when I saw something out on the fire escape. I moved to the window and saw a suitcase sitting there. Bingo...I hoped. Who knew what was in it. They could have packed a bag for a quick escape.

I forced the window open and dragged it inside. It was freaking heavy. I felt like Jerry fucking Maguire, because I wanted to start screaming 'SHOW ME THE MONEY!'. I felt that to be a tad inappropriate, yet I couldn't help but snicker.

I took a deep breathe and unzipped the suitcase. "Jackpot!" I yelled. Fuck yeah. There was a ton of money, and I could see some of it was purple from the dye pack. Mission accomplished.

I was reveling in my success, when all of a sudden I could hear some sort of commotion.

"Ow, fuck! I give, just STOP BITING ME!" came a male's voice.

I ran out of the bedroom in time to see Bella holding onto someone's ankle and biting the hell out of it. She then got on top of him and cuffed him up. I though I had just popped wood.

I watched as she flipped him over, and could tell by the look on her face that she was disappointed. I wondered why.

"Riley? What are you doing here?" she asked as her voice was shaking.

"I swear I just got here, Officer Swan," he told her.

I was pretty damn quick, and figured out how she knew him. Well, the 'Officer' part may have tipped me off. I watched her as she started to calm down and was talking to him like a human being instead of going ape shit on his ass.

I looked at Yorkie who was gaping at Bella. "Dude, what's the matter?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked. "What is she, some kind of vampire girl? That was genius!" He was holding his hands together as if he almost thought about clapping.

He must have thought better of it as he saw that she actually knew him, and was in the middle of what seemed like a deep conversation.

In the meantime, I called the police so they could decide if they would file charges for the drugs and paraphernalia, and then I called my supervisor to notify him of the recovered money.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" Bella asked timidly.

"Yeah, as long as you promise not to bite," I answered, and walked towards her.

She flicked my ear as she approached. "Don't say that again, or I _will _promise never to bite you."

She was looking up at me though her lashes, and I decided that I did indeed want her to bite me.

"You were saying?" I said with mock seriousness.

"Okay, so Mr. Riley Xavier over there just got out of prison the other day, and is on my caseload. He swears he just stopped over to see someone he used to know. He said he just wore the attire so that he wouldn't get fucked with in this area. I searched him and he is clean. What the frick do I do? He got a job today and everything." She let out a sigh and I could tell she was contemplating her decision.

"Do you believe him Bella?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but this looks bad," she said as she bit her lip in concentration.

"Well, you already broke the rules with the cruel and unusual punishment, so I guess maybe a few days in jail would suffice." I smiled at her and was expecting a rib shot.

"Ha ha. I was thinking the same thing. I don't want him to get fired before he even starts the job."

We heard the cavalry before seeing them. The unmistakable clatter of police boots were trudging up the stairs in sync. Upon their arrival Bella, Yorkie and I transported her parolee to the jail. We left the other three for the police to deal with.

We exited the apartment and Bella ran smack dab into the back of a big guy. He was dressed in a suit and was too busy on his cell to notice that he was blocking the doorway.

"Umph," he said while turning around.

There, staring at _my _girlfriend, was Jacob _Showupeverywhere _Black.

"Jake! Hey. Sorry about that," she said with a smile.

"Hey Bells! I'm sorry. I was trying to get the address of a client. He snuck a call to me while he was hiding from cops in the bathroom."

"Fourth floor, last door on the left. Oh, by the way, your client was flushing a bag of coke down the toilet when I found him in the bathroom," I said cockily.

I had no idea what it was about that guy that turned me into a total competitive dickhead. Let me rephrase. The way he looked at Bella turned me into a competitive and total dickhead.

They chatted for a couple of minutes and I wasn't sure who was more anxious, me or the handcuffed guy. He gave her a hug goodbye, once again telling her to give him a call.

I swore that the next time I saw that dude, and I was with Bella, I would grab her ass, tits, or any other part of her to show him that she was off the market. Even better would be finding one of those cursive gold charms for a necklace. She could sport a big fucking 'Edward' around her neck. Maybe then he would get the point.

We dropped Mr. Riley Xavier off at the jail, and then it was time for the three of us to get back to our respective offices. We pulled up to the State Building, and I was bummed that she had to leave.

I got out of the car and opened the door for her. She stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around me.

"Am I going to see you later beautiful girl?" I asked, while nuzzling her neck.

"If you want to. I'm going out to eat with Alice and Rose, but I can come over after."

"Sounds good to me," I said as I brought my lips to hers.

Our lips met for a kiss that left me wanting more. She brought her mouth to my neck and bit down. She let go before I could respond and walked to work with a swagger.

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	22. The Zumba

**Thank you to all of my new readers and reviewers! U rock:) Thanks to my girls,**

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**Stephenie Meyer owns this.**

**Chapter 22~The Zumba**

**~~Bella~~**

I couldn't concentrate for shit at work. I kept focusing on Riley Xavier. Was I naive in thinking that he may actually have been in the wrong place at the wrong time? This kid had a good chance of fucking his life up for good, and I was going to do my damnedestto make sure that didn't happen.

I answered my phone calls, did my reports, and read through my emails, as if on autopilot. I was tempted to stalk...I mean check Facebook, just to see if Tanya had anything new to report. My phone ringing saved me from my own brand of torture.

"Officer Swan," I said into the receiver.

"Yo, bitch. Stay the fuck away from us, or you will be sorry." Click.

Lovely. Apparently, word travels fast in gang land. My phone rang again and I took a deep breath before answering.

"Officer Swan." Click.

Fuckers. The state needed caller ID, like yesterday. When it immediately rang again, I wanted to scream.

"What?"

"Jeez Bella, that's not the most professional way to answer a phone you know."

"Alice, why are you calling my work phone anyways?" I said, as I looked around for my

cell.

"Well, I tried your cell, but you didn't answer," she said, snarkily.

"Shit, I can't find it anywhere." I was becoming extremely annoyed. "Okay, so here I am. What's up?"

"Bella, hear me out. My last appointment canceled, and I was wondering if you could skip out a little early. I have been dying to go to this Zumba class, but have been on the waiting list for like ever. The early class has room, but I don't want to go alone. You said you wanted to get in shape, so here's your chance."

"First of all, what the hell is The Zumba, and secondly, I thought you were overly concerned with the state of my eyebrows and hair?" I asked, as I continued searching for my phone.

"Zumba is all the rage. It's just an hour of fun dancing. You'll love it. Okay, you'll at least think it's way better than trying to go for a jog. Your hair isn't that bad, and you can always resort to wearing your glasses if your brows get any worse," she answered, in her usual annoyingly upbeat tone.

Dancing around did sound better than a brow wax or a jog. Plus, it would be followed with Mexican food and perhaps a margarita, or two.

"Fine."

"Yay! I have one more _special _haircut to give, and then I'm out of here."

She told me when and where to meet her and then hung up. I knew the special haircut she was referring to was the new's bitch, Lauren Mallory. Alice promised to retaliate for the way she had been portraying me in the news. Alice was ruthlessly loyal, and I loved her for it.

I had a little bit of time, so I decided to drop by Riley's house to talk to his parents. It was conveniently located on my way home, which proved to be a bonus when sneaking out of work early. I stopped by the Xavier's home, but no one answered when I knocked. The yard was kept up, and the house seemed in pretty good shape. I left my card and headed home.

I changed into a pair of running shorts and a dry fit t-shirt. I have no idea why I have running shorts, or even where in the hell they came from. I also have no idea what a person wears to something called The Zumba.

When I looked at the clock, I realized that it was earlier than I thought. I packed a bag of clothes to change into after the class, and stumbled across a book that Alice had been nagging at me to read for like ever. No time was as good as the present. Alice and I have totally different taste in books, but I was going to read this teenybopper vampire book if it killed me. I just needed her to shut her shit up about it already.

I got a couple of chapters in, and then got sucked into a re-run of 90210, the first edition, that is. It was amazing how they expected to pass these twenty-somethings off for high school kids. The episode ended and it was time to face The Zumba.

I met Alice at the gym, which I might add, I had no idea existed, and I couldn't help but stare.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" She had her hands on her hips and was glaring at me.

"Um, you, Jane Fonda," I said, with a giggle.

Alice was sporting a leotard with a matching headband, and I was nervous to look down in fear of seeing leg warmers and hightop Reeboks. Luckily her legs were bare and she had on some super cute pink Pumas. She gave me the finger, and then grabbed my arm, dragging me inside.

I walked, or should I say was dragged, inside and couldn't believe how incredible the place was. It was bright and humungous. There were two levels and everyone looked so damn cheerful. She signed us in and the girl at the desk pointed us in the direction of the class. I never knew working out could at least look so good. There were people of all ages fluttering around. Most were dressed like me, but occasionally an 'Alice' would walk by. Jane Fonda...err...Alice sauntered to the restroom and I waited for her outside of the door. This place was people watching at its finest.

"Gotta gitgit. Gotta gitgit. Boom boom boom. Boom boom boom," sang a high pitched voice behind me.

I turned around to see the back of a woman on a tread mill. She looked like Olivia Newton-John in the Let's Get Physical video. She had on a faux thong leotard, with matching leg warmers, sweatbands on her wrists, and a sweatband holding her hair back. I choked back a hysterical laugh and continued to watch her as if she was a car accident. She continued to fast walk and was pumping her arms in an awkward and dangerous looking motion. She continued singing over her iPod, to what I think was the Black Eyed Peas.

I was willing myself to look away, but before I could do so, she lost her footing on the treadmill, and was headed straight for me. I braced myself for impact, but it wasn't enough to stop her flailing ass from knocking us both down. I crashed to the ground with an 'umph', and she did the same. Fucking great. Olivia had just taken me out. I was trying to catch my breath because all of it had been knocked out of me. The workout woman from hell was trying to regain her composure, and I was hoping she would get the hell off of me...and soon.

"Oh, dear. Let me just try and get up. Goodness, that has never happened before. I was so into that Fergilicious that I wasn't paying attention. You know, her husband was rumored to have been with one of those girls who takes their clothes off for money. Who would cheat on the Fergilicious?"

Oh, kill me now. Say it isn't so Joe. I would recognize that voice anywhere. Edward's fucking mother was laying on top of me in the new luxurious gym, right before I was going to attempt the Zumba. She finally managed to lift herself off of me. I slowly got up and could feel that I was fifty shades of red. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to look up at her.

"Bella?" she asked, as if I was the last person she expected to see in here. She had a hole in her tights and her headband was nearly covering one of her eyes.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen," I said, while trying not to reach out and straighten her headband.

"Dear, call me Esme, please. Especially after that mishap. Do you always frequent this gym? Maybe we could start exercising together." She looked me up and down as if I was the one oddly dressed.

I looked around and was grateful that our audience was starting to disperse.

"Esme! What's up girl? You look fabulous!" Alice shouted, as she ran up to her and they did a guy-worthy chest bump.

_Are you flipping kidding me? It was Jane Fonda meets Olivia Newton-John. They were made for each other. Perhaps they should start exercising together._

"Alice! What a wonderful surprise!" Esme said, while giving her some kind of secret workout handshake.

I left them to their bizarre exchange, as I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I stood in the locker room testing out all of my important bones, checking for damage. They all seemed to be in working order, which was a good thing since I really did want to check out The Zumba.

As I made my way back into the workout area, Alice was waiting for me and Esme was gone.

"Esme told me to tell you goodbye. She had to get going. She did mention that we were all going to go shooting sometime," she said, with a wink. "Lets go Bella, you're making us late."

_Oh kill me now, Esme and Alice on the firing range...together._

The Zumba, which is actually just plain old Zumba I have come to find out, was brutal. Well, it may have not been so brutal if I was in better shape and didn't have to fake a bum knee in the middle of the class. I mean it was either that, or throw up from exhaustion.

Alice glared at me, knowing full well that my knee was fine. She wore a smile the whole entire class. Her fancy outfit made her look like a professional work-outer. The energy that girl had was insane, but not infectious.

The music was pretty awesome. I found myself bouncing my head to it, but had to stop and grimace, pointing at my knee, whenever someone looked my way. The music was like driving through Mexican Town in the summer, but the remixed version. What it really accomplished was making my mouth water for the margaritas that would be consumed afterwards.

When the class ended, Alice and I made our way to the locker room to shower. It was hard not to shower these days without thinking of Edward. I was just aching to be with him again. I felt my girly parts start to tingle, and needed to clear my head. The locker room at the gym was not the place to experiment with the shower head.

"Bella, I never got the chance to tell you what happened today at work," Alice shouted, in order to be heard above the water and over the shower curtain. "So, Lauren came in for a haircut, and I convinced her that she needed a total reinvention. I refuse to tell you what kind of reinvention we decided on, so I insist that you watch the news tonight."

"Did you mention me at all?" I asked, while cursing myself for forgetting my conditioner.

"Nope, and she didn't either. She really doesn't seem that bad though. I think she's just totally into her job and trying to make a name for herself. Unfortunately after today, she'll be called by someone else's."

I could smell margaritas from the parking lot. Well, not really, but I was in the mood for one. It seemed that every time we came to this place I was suddenly in the mood for one. They were small, but mighty.

Alice positioned us in front of the television that was mounted on the wall.

"Honey, the news should be on any minute." She was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh, and Rose is meeting us after work."

As she said that, Rose came walking in. "Hiya girls. I figured I might as well hang out for a while since Emmett is never coming home from work. How was Zumba?"

"Well, for one, Bella made fun of my fuck-awesome exercise gear, secondly she got plowed over by her boyfriend's mother, and thirdly she was about to pass out so she faked an injury."

"I'm right here. You do know that right?" I said, as I gave Alice the stink eye.

"Wait, back up. What happened with Esme?" Rose was definitely amused.

Before I could fully explain the nightmare that was Esme, we saw Laurent heading for our table.

"Girls! How are you?" He was more enthusiastic than normal and seemed very happy.

"Laurent, you're looking good. It's almost as if you're sparkling." Alice was starting at him, and it seemed as if she was in deep concentration.

"Life is good, people. What else can I say?" He was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Spill it," said Rose, dryly.

"Alright, you got me. I am almost finished with school. In fact, I can see the finish line just waiting for me to cross, and my beautiful lady friend has just moved in with me."

"Good for you Laurent. I'm so happy for you."

"Well, I couldn't wait for you girls forever," he said, with a wink.

We all laughed and proceeded to order.

"Aw, look at him, he is fluttering around here like a man on top of the world," Rose said.

"He sure does look happy. I just hope everything works out." Alice looked overly concerned, as I'm sure she was concocting some sort of epiphany.

Alice was a tad bit clairvoyant, and very observant. She was often right on regarding her assessments. She liked to think it was a sixth sense, but I tended to think it was a result of eavesdropping, combined with nosiness.

Laurent delivered our drinks, all six of them since we ordered two apiece, and we settled in. After downing my first one, it was time to spill my guts regarding my Facebook stalking tendencies. The girls were rather sympathetic, and then told me to quit being such an ass, and stay the fuck off of the social networking sites.

After my second margarita, I was feeling pretty good. I couldn't help but want me a piece of the federale. I went to get my phone so I could send him a racy text, and then remembered that I had no idea where in the hell it was.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Rose asked, in between a bite full of tortilla chips.

"I can't find my phone. I'm sure it's lodged in between the seats of my car or something."

With that, we continued eating, drinking, and talking. We lost track of time and only snapped back into reality when a hush fell over the restaurant and everyone was focused on the television set above us.

There were oohs, ahhs, and even some snickers. Lauren 'Kate Gosselin' Mallory was reporting live from somewhere or another. That's what you get for fucking with one of Alice's friends. I would be willing to bet that the stupid bitch wouldn't do that again.

After paying Laurent, with cash, I might add, we decided it was time to go. I was ecstatic because I found a twenty dollar bill in my pants. I loved when that happened. Alice was heading over to Jasper's for a game of 'hide the salami', Rose was hoping that Emmett was finally home from work, and I was at a loss for what to do.

Edward did want to do something after my outing with the girls. I felt weird just showing up without calling, but I do have a valid excuse. Plus, he did tell me to come over after. As I got into my car, I put nearly a whole pack of gum in my mouth. I felt relaxed, and a little giddy, but good enough to drive the short distance to Edward's.

I had the radio blaring, well as blaring as an Escort's radio could blare, and made my way to my boyfriend's condo. I was singing at the top of my lungs and was in such a great mood. I pulled up to his condo and was ready to get out, but his front door opened and I thought for a minute he had been waiting for me. Instead, I saw the girl from all of the pictures that were permanently etched in my brain walking out of his place.

Edward was standing at the door raking his hand through his hair. I was shocked, and quite honestly about to cry, hyperventilate, or throw up. Probably in that order.

My body was frozen in place. I couldn't believe that my worst fears and insecurities were happening right in front of my eyes. My feelings for Edward were running deeper and deeper each and every day. The fact that we were intimate was only adding to the intense desire I had to be with him always. It shouldn't surprise me, as I wondered what he saw in me in the first place. It was so fucking ironic that I have now had sex with two people for a grand total of two times. Maybe there was something wrong with my vajayjay.

Before I could contemplate the state of my vagina anymore than I already was, I forced myself to start my car and drive as fast as I could away from Edward. The sobs were racking my body and I could barely see to drive. I pulled over on the side of the road and let them consume me. I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart, but at the same time felt lucky that I had ever had him to begin with.

**Don't hate me...please...! I have never tried The Zumba, and am quite confident that I would have to fake an injury if I did. "gitgit" was the first one to review every chapter at once, therefore inspiring this chapter (hence the gitgit...not get get). So far, I have responded to every review. I know it bothers me a little if I review like crazy with no response. I just want my readers to know how much I appreciate it!**

**Edward is up next. I'm ****maxandmo on Twitter. **


	23. F'ing Escort

**Thanks to everyone who reads this...and especially to those of you who review:) Big FBIward smooches! Thanks to FIL and lotusblosm for pre-reading, and to secretobsession7 for being my beta! Too bad I didn't find her sooner...there would have been way less mistakes.**

**~Chapter 23~**

**~~Edward~~**

The rest of the work day flew by. I was hoping the evening would as well. Not that I didn't like spending time with my parents, but I couldn't wait to see Bella afterward.

I spent a fuck ton of my afternoon reliving the arrest that my girl made. She pulled out all the stops to make sure she got her guy. Biting. I can't believe she bit him. I was proud of her for stopping at nothing to get the job done. I was hoping that the bite she gave me was foreshadowing of what was to come later.

I pulled into my parents' driveway at the same time as my mom. It still brought a smile to my face when I saw her sitting in the yellow convertible Volkswagen bug that she just had to have. I thought those cars were ridiculous, but nothing was more fitting for Esme.

She got out of the car and I snorted with laughter.

"Hello, Edward. What was that noise? Is there something wrong with your sinuses?" she said in all seriousness.

"Um, mom," I cleared my throat and tried to choke back the laughter, "where were you?"

"Edward, didn't your father tell you? I just joined a brand new gym. You didn't think I stayed looking this fabulous without a little bit of work, did you?" she said, while motioning to her body.

"Why is your...um...outfit ripped?" I said, while having a hell of a time keeping a straight face.

"Well you see dear, I was on the treadmill, and I got to daydreaming about how fabulous that Fergalicious is. I lost my footing and fell smack dab into that Bella _friend _of yours."

"Mother, please tell me you ran into her, like at the gym, not in the literal sense." I was raking my hand through my hair so hard, I thought I was going to pull out some chunks of it.

"Yes, I ran into her at the gym, but I also knocked her down and we flailed around on the floor for a bit. She's a nice girl, but that Alice was there, and let me tell you, she looked fantastic." She walked towards the house, and I almost passed out when I saw her behind.

I couldn't manage any words as I stared at her thong leotard. I was going to have one hell of a talk with my father. What in the sans hell was she wearing?

Esme walked in the house, and my father was standing in the kitchen. He turned around and was staring at her with his mouth hanging open.

Thank God someone was on the same page as me, regarding her attire.

"Mm, mm, mm. You look hot baby." He was ogling my mother right in fucking front of me.

Apparently, we were not on the same page. I loudly cleared my throat, and hoped like hell he would stop.

"Oh, hey Edward. I didn't even notice you there." He barely broke his stare long enough to look at me.

"Hey, dad."

_This was disturbing on so many levels. _

My dad pulled my exercise train wreck of a mother in for a hug. He picked her up, spun her around, and then gave her a smack on the ass.

"Honey, you smell ripe, but you look delicious in that get up. I'm so happy I decided to get you that one. A good work out, I take it?" he said, as he sniffed her sweaty neck.

_What the fuck?_ _He bought that shit for her?_

Thankfully, before I threw up, she went to take a shower.

"Dad, really?" I asked him, while opening the crockpot to make sure there was something planned for dinner.

"Oh, Edward. You know your mother. A little compliment goes a long way. It may even get me laid tonight," Carlisle said, with a smirk.

"DAD! Enough. I'm starting to lose my appetite."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're the only one around here who is allowed to get some?" he said, knowingly.

"Touche. Can we please change the subject now?" I was starting to sweat, and if this went on for much longer, I would surely break out in hives.

"Not yet. I saw what happened with Tanya. Poor girl. What a nightmare."

"Tell me about it. She seems okay. She was obviously shaken up, but at least she wasn't hurt," I said, emotionally.

"So, how did she look up close?" he asked.

"Well, she had some guy's brains all over her, and there was blood everywhere," I said, as I answered his weird question.

"Hmm. Oh, never mind. Um, how are things with Bella?" he asked, cautiously.

"She's great. _We_ are great. There's just something about her, you know?" I proceeded to tell him about the 'biting' incident.

My mom came out of the shower in more appropriate dinner attire, and I couldn't have been more relieved. I caught them staring at each other, trying to convey some secret message, to which I saw my father shake his head 'no'. Weird, but not surprising considering they were, well, weird sometimes.

We sat down to eat, and as per the norm, we clasped hands and bowed our heads. My mother insisted that prayers were private, so the three of us silently prayed together, yet alone.

The minute I tasted the roast beef, which was my all-time favorite, I relaxed and savored the moment.

It was at this time that my mom decided to play twenty questions with me.

"So, Edward, how are things?" She looked at my dad, and gave him a small nod.

"Good," I said, as I shoveled more beef into my mouth.

_What the hell was she getting at?_

"So, how did Tanya seem when you saw her?"

"Well, considering she had been held hostage, and a man was killed right next to her, she looked like a hysterical mess."

"Did she tell you anything?"

"Hmm, let me think. Yes, she said she was happy to be alive." I couldn't help but be a little sarcastic. She was starting to put a damper on my damn dinner.

"Nothing else?"

"Really? You want to know every single word? She was a mess. She cried, and cried, and then pretty much cried. Oh, and she felt sick, but considering there were blood and brains all over her, that was quite understandable."

"Did you happen to see her without any clothes on?"

"Mom! I did _not_ see her naked. Those days are over." I was starting to get very agitated.

"Edward Anthony! I was just wondering if you helped her change her brainy clothes. I don't even want to think about what you are referring to," she said, as she got up from the table to grab a bottle of wine. I thought I heard her mumble 'not my son', but I couldn't be for sure.

She let the Tanya subject drop, but I noticed she was on her second glass of wine before she even cut into her roast beef. Trying to figure out my mother was a full-time job. One that I wasn't exactly interested in applying for. Why in the world was I lucky enough to be an only child? I mean, shit, the focus was on me entirely. We were close, but sometimes I needed a break from the Cullen inquisition.

We finished up dinner and I was anxious to get home. I wanted to be prepared for Bella's arrival. I had some new wallflowers, and some candles with matching scents. Bath and Body Works was having their semi-annual sale. The ladies in that placed love me. They hooked me up with all kinds of smelly goodness.

My mother was quite tipsy by that point, and I knew it was in my best interest to get the hell out of dodge before she groped my father right at the table. He looked at me with a wink, as she seductively licked her lips. I said my goodbyes, and hightailed it out of there before I was scarred for life.

I got home, sorted through my mail, and straightened up my place. I was pretty neat, but I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. I lit two of my new candles and strategically placed them in places where the light and scent would be subtle, yet effective, in the romance department. I texted Bella to see when she was coming over, but got no response.

I opened a lotion that the sales lady talked me into. I loved the scent, and she assured me that a lot of men had been using it. I figured I had some time to kill and wanted to be prepared for tonight. As I eyed the lotion, and then looked at my crotch, I figured out an ingenious way to incorporate the two. _Mr. manly lotion meet Mr. manly cock._ I unbuttoned my pants, pulling them down, and then squirted some lotion onto my hand.

I let my thoughts drift to Bella and of all the dirty things I was planning on doing to her later. I gripped my dick with the hand that was covered in the lotion, and let it slide up and down my shaft. The coolness and silkiness of it was such an incredible feeling. Not nearly as incredible as being inside of Bella, but good nonetheless. I was so lost in my good smelling feelings of ecstasy that I almost didn't hear the doorbell.

I wiped as much of the lotion off of my boner as possible and proceeded to rub it on my arms. I pulled up my pants quickly, and walked over to answer the door, fully expecting to see Bella. In fact, I was prepped and ready to go, so I thought her timing was nothing less than perfect.

I opened the door with a smile that quickly turned into almost a grimace. "Tanya?" I said, in a questioning tone.

"Hi, I just stopped by to return your clothes," she said, timidly. "What's that smell?"

She was standing at the door looking extremely uncomfortable and anxious. She was wearing a long wrap that I recognized from the Victoria's Secret catalog, over a pair of terrible looking jeans. When she didn't turn to leave, I did the gentlemanly thing and asked her if she wanted to come in, and chose to ignore her last comment. She walked in and started looking around.

"Everything looks the same in here, Tanya. Well, my upstairs looks a little different than it did the last time you saw it." I sounded like a dick, but something about having her standing in my condo reminded me of everything she did before she left.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight, and I just sort of freaked out. I know how much you love your clothes, and your Harley, and I guess I just wanted to make you feel as bad as I was feeling."

I could see her tearing up and thought 'here we go'. I had no interest in hearing her sob about how sorry she was. As far as I was concerned, she said what she had to say, and that was plenty.

"How are you doing?" I asked, trying to change the subject from our break-up to the shooting.

"I'm okay, I guess. I've had some nightmares, but my boy...err..friends have been great," she said, uncomfortably.

"Well, I'm glad that you're pretty okay." I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to say.

"Edward, do you ever think about me, about us?" she said, waiting for my answer.

_Fuck, how does one answer that question? I don't want to be a total dickhead, but I don't want to lead her on. She does have a boyfriend, as I did catch the slip. _

"Sure Tanya, I mean we were together for awhile, and had some good times together. You know I wish you the best." There, that sounded okay.

"Alright, I, um, guess I should get going." She was fidgeting and still looked jumpy.

"Okay, take care," I said, as I walked her to the door.

She turned around and was staring at me. "Edward?" she said, in a questioning manner.

"Yeah," I answered back.

"Uh, nothing. Just take care of yourself too," she said, as she walked out the door.

I watched her as she walked to her car, and couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that overcame me. Things were just off, for lack of a better term. As I stood at my front door watching Tanya, some sort of magnetic pull forced me to look the other way. To my utter surprise, I looked just in time to see Bella's car race away from my place.

Motherfucker! I ran inside as fast as I could and grabbed the keys to my bike. I could only imagine what was going though her head. I jumped on my Harley, paused for a split second to listen to the roar of the engine, and then sped toward Bella's apartment.

I didn't have to go far before I noticed her car pulled over on the side of the road. I was caught off guard, and hoped everything was okay. I carefully pulled over, shut off the hog, and walked over to her car.

The sight in front of me was heartbreaking. She was sobbing uncontrollably, and her shoulders were shaking. She was hunched over the steering wheel and looked so broken.

I tapped on the window, and her head flew up, as she was obviously startled. I stood there waiting for her to make some sort of move, whether it be to open the door, or the window. She continued staring at me, and I could sense how uncomfortable she was. I reached out and tried to open the door, only to find it locked.

_Glad she considered her safety when she pulled over on the side of the road to cry. _

"Bell, open the door," I said. "Please."

"What do you want, Edward? I'm fine, really. Just go, please," she said, without meeting my eyes.

"Bella, come on. I can explain." Fuck, it wasn't my fault Tanya stopped by. Bella wasn't even letting me explain.

"I said I was fine, Edward," she said, tersely.

"Bella, I am not leaving. Open the damn door _please_." I was starting to get pissed, but I wasn't about to leave.

I looked away for a split second, but it was long enough to get the wind knocked out of me as she threw open the fucking car door. I was bent over gasping for air. That shit hurt!

"Ow, fuck!"

"Edward, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Shit, I didn't mean to hit you," she said, with concern.

"I just need a minute," I said, as I clutched my stomach, and continued to gasp for air.

Bella placed her hands on my back, and I could tell she was concerned. I finally got my breathing regulated, but I have to admit, I was enjoying Bella's attention.

I slowly stood upright while I grabbed Bella's hand off of my back. She stared up at me with eyes as big as saucers. I pulled her towards me with that arm, and we stood chest to chest. I looked her dead in the eyes and heard her gasp.

My lips crashed into hers, as I forced her against the side of her car with my body. I couldn't get enough of her. I placed my hands in her hair and held on tightly. My mouth continued ravishing hers, as I ground my already hard cock into her stomach.

"I want you so fucking bad. Can you feel that, baby?" I pressed into her harder. "Only you, Bella."

She whimpered, and then placed her hands in my hair. We were making out like teenagers, on the side of the road. Subconsciously, I think I heard a couple of horns blow, but I wasn't sure, nor did I care. My dick was so hard, and all I could think about was being inside of Bella. I needed that to happen, and quick.

Our eyes locked, and I motioned to her car. It was the best I could come up with, besides having sex out in the open, on a fairly busy road.

She climbed inside, and I followed. "This baby has reclining seats," she said, with a wink.

We were cramped beyond belief, but she managed to get the passenger side seat reclined until it was flat. She gazed over at me, as she pulled off her pants. She was blushing and was biting on her bottom lip. I followed suit, though I think I pulled a muscle in the small quarters. I'd Icy Hot it later. Nothing was going to get in the way of showing my girl how much I wanted her.

Bella laid back on the reclined seat and timidly spread her legs. She trailed her hand down her chest and continued down her stomach. She lifted her shirt up above her tits and freed them from their restraints.

"Holy shit, you are so fucking hot," I said, as I placed my hand around my shaft.

I proceeded to stroke my cock in a slow and steady motion, as I continued staring at her. She was caressing her breasts, and her nipples responded nicely. I wanted to nip at them. I could feel the warmness oozing out of my cock, and knew at this rate, I wouldn't last long.

Bella left one of her hands on her chest and moved the other down her stomach. She continued downward, and I sucked in a deep breath. She ran her finger down the center of her pussy and started rubbing little circles on her clit. The look on her face was pure seduction. I didn't think she could be any more alluring, but fuck was I wrong.

She pulled her finger away and brought it to her lips. She stuck her tongue out and licked her juices, that were so clearly visible, off of her finger.

"Mm," she said, as she looked over at me.

I moved as fast as possible, given the scenario, over the center console, and leaned towards her. She brought her finger to my mouth, and I sucked on it like a champ. You could seriously bottle up Bella's pussy juice and sell it at the store. It tasted so fucking good.

She brought her knees up in order to make room for me to slide in front of her. The Escort was surprisingly accommodating this way. I was kneeling on the floor, which put me in prime position to taste more of her. I moved forward and licked her from one end to the other. She was so wet. I swirled my tongue around her clit, and then pressed two fingers inside of her.

"Oh, Edward. That feels so good," she said, breathlessly. "You smell so good too."

The lotion was a winner, I thought, as I continued pumping my fingers in and out of her tight center. My cock was throbbing, and if I didn't get relief soon, I thought I may burst, and not in a good way.

I moved my mouth up her body, leaving her legs over my shoulders. As I got to her mouth, she pulled me in for a kiss. It was so fucking hot that she wasn't grossed out by her own taste on my lips. In fact, she seemed to love it and continued to kiss, and lick the wetness from my mouth.

I positioned myself at her opening and thrust myself inside of her. She contracted around me, and it felt like heaven. My girl and I fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. I moved my hips slow and steady, and she was grasping my hair, and gasping. Her legs were resting on my shoulders allowing me to be as deep as humanly possible inside of her. I nipped at her neck and nuzzled her ear, as I started to increase the tempo of my thrusts.

"I'm so close," she said, with a groan.

I pulled my face from her neck, because I wanted to see her face when she came. I continued thrusting, and I felt the small car moving in synch. I could feel my balls contract, and I was ready to empty myself inside of her.

She was staring into my eyes as her breathing increased. "Holy mother. Oh, Edward, I'm cumming!"

"Bella," I groaned, as I came with a fury.

We stayed together for a few minutes while our breathing regulated. Our foreheads were pressed against one another, and I whispered, "only you, Bella, always."

She pressed her lips against mine with a soft kiss. I slowly pulled out of her and dragged myself to the driver's side to get dressed. I'm sure I was going to have bruises everywhere tomorrow. I couldn't believe that we had such hot and satisfying sex in such a tight space. I couldn't help but laugh at the fogged up windows.

"So, um, do you want to grab something to eat?" Why the fuck was I so nervous all of a sudden? I guess it was because we needed to talk.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'm starving, but I have one request," she said, blushing.

"What is it beautiful?" I asked, thinking she had a particular restaurant in mind.

"Can we leave my car here? I want a ride on your bike," she said.

_I needed to figure out a way to fuck her on the bike, and SOON!_

We locked up her car, and she jumped on the back of my Harley. Things had never felt so right.

**Hope this makes up for the last chapter;) Reviews make my day, and I have responded to every single one so far. Thanks for reading! maxandmo on twitter**


	24. Fire in the Hole

**Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! Eclipse! **

**lotusblosm pre-reads and secretobsession7 is my beta who rocks! You can follow her on Twitter secretobsess07.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns this.**

** ~~Chapter 24~~Fire in the Hole**

** ~Bella~**

Okay, so I had never really been on a motorcycle before. My dad was sort of a freak about them, and I never had the chance to ride...until now. Charlie would drag my ass to The Auto Show every single year, and he would always find me sitting on the newest and hottest crotch rocket. So I guess to clarify, I had never been on a motorcycle that was actually moving.

If my dad could see me now, he would kick my ass for sure. Not only were my arms wrapped around my boyfriend, but I wasn't wearing a helmet to boot. The wind whipped through my hair, and I don't think I had ever felt so free.

Despite the fact that I had just had an amazing orgasm, the vibrations of the bike were definitely waking up my lady bits once again. I needed to get my _feelings_ under control, as I had some shit to bring up over dessert. Dessert...I already had dessert. "Sigh," get your mind out of the incredibly hot gutter, Bella! My mind was racing; I was trying to think of what to say when we got there. I needed to play it cool, but I guess that was redundant since he had already seen me cry like a big ass baby.

I never anticipated being followed by him. I had no idea he had even seen me. The fact that he physically came after me, instead of just calling, spoke volumes. I was so overcome with emotions that expressing them physically just came natural. The magnetic pull I felt towards him was so incredibly strong, I didn't think I could fight it if I tried. Not that I ever wanted to try.

I was two for two at unconventional sex with him. I can't imagine anyone else starting off with shower sex, then moving on to awkward Escort sex. I also can't imagine anyone experiencing such incredible feelings of euphoria in either of those situations. My man was a sex-God on legs. What the hell would the deed be like on an actual flat surface? My privates tingled in response to those thoughts.

I needed to focus on the hopefully random visit from the ex. I hoped there was a valid reason for it. I never wanted to see another woman walk out of his place, well, except for ones that were approved by me.

We pulled up to the diner, and I was a little bummed that the ride was over. I smiled to myself, as the realization came to me that I was now a biker bitch. I was so going to the Harley shop and loading up on gear soon. Edward got off smoothly and held his hand out to help me. My cockiness got to me and I ignored his hand. I swung my right leg over the seat, and as it hit the ground, I realized that my left pant leg was caught on the peg. In one swift motion I was thrown to my knees and stuck there.

My boyfriend was trying to hold back his laughter, at least until he saw that I was okay. He pulled my pant leg off of the peg, which led me to sprawl out further. Being a biker bitch was going to take some practice. Edward picked me up, brushed me off, and we headed inside.

"Oh, Bella, what am I going to do with you?" he said, as he draped his arm around me.

"Pretty much anything you want," I answered, sweetly. He smirked and cocked his eyebrow.

We settled into a booth and looked at the menu. I could tell Edward was getting antsy because he started to bounce his foot, and it was shaking the entire tabletop. We looked around for a server, and I noticed her in the corner reading a book. She had a huge name tag that read 'Jasmine'; upon closer inspection, I noticed that she was reading that fucking teenybopper book that Alice had been nagging me about.

Edward was staring at her also. "Jasmine loves Twilight," he said, with his eyebrows raised.

"I guess so," I said, nonchalantly.

She finally noticed us with a little help from a cough and a couple of fake sneezes and came over to take our order. "Oh my god, you like totally should read this book. It is the best like ever," she said, as she hurried over to the kitchen to put in our order so she could get back to reading.

I was _like_ still not sold on it.

We sat staring at each other across the table. Edward grabbed my hand and held it firmly. "Bella, I had no idea Tanya was coming over. She came to return the clothes I let her borrow after the shooting. Well, most of them anyhow. The shorts weren't mine to begin with. It is the first time she's been at my place since she trashed it. We talked a little bit about how she's been holding up and that was about it. Even if you hadn't seen her, I swear I was going to tell you. I don't want any secrets between us."

He looked so sincere that I felt like jumping over the table and dry humping him. Thankfully, our food came before I had the chance. I scarfed down my grilled cheese and was working on my fries, when I started to feel a little irritated down below. I had read somewhere that you should pee after sex, but I was not going to let my fries get cold. I was dreading the trip to the bathroom anyways, since I knew there was a gooey mess to clean up.

I needed to concentrate on something other than the slow burn that was creeping into my privates.

"Edward, I'm sorry for over-reacting. I guess I just saw her and thought that you wanted her there. You've done nothing to make me feel insecure about us, but sometimes I just can't believe that we're together. You make me so happy, and I'm almost waiting for something bad to happen."

The burn was increasing so I crossed my legs thinking it would help. It only made it worse and I grimaced. "Beautiful, what's the matter?" Edward asked, tentatively.

"Nothing. It's nothing," I squeaked.

"Bella, no secrets remember?"

How in the hell was I going to tell him that someone in this fucking diner managed to set fire to my vag? Okay, so the diner had nothing to do with it, but whatever.

"Um, my privates burn." There, I said it. Well, whispered it.

"What?" he asked.

I said it again, and he still didn't hear me.

"My private parts are on fire!" I said, a little louder.

It was at this time that the waitress decided to check on us. "Oh, honey. What a shame," she said, while chomping on her gum. She walked back over to her book without a second glance. Edward looked horrified, yet Jasmine wasn't fazed in the least.

I could have crawled under the table and died. Are you kidding me? I'm sure by now my face had skipped red and moved right to purple.

"Oh, shit," Edward said, as some sort of realization hit him. He looked uncomfortable, and I was bracing myself for a trip to the clinic. "Um...fuck."

"Edward, spit it out!" I nearly shouted, as I cupped my puss protectively.

"Okay, so I bought some new smelly lotion, and I was bored, so __."

All I heard of his entire ramble was 'wack-off' and 'Tanya'. Wait a minute, _she _interrupted him jacking-off? "Edward, what do you mean by interrupted you?" I said, with venom in my voice.

"No, she interrupted me, I mean I was doing it when she rang the doorbell. I never washed it off, and I just sort off wiped the excess on my arms. Smell," he said, as he brought his arm towards me.

I started to sniff his arm and then we both realized that he was in big trouble.

"Edward! What the hell am I supposed to do? I mean, I'm sure that is a new one. Hello, Mr. Pharmacist, my boyfriend put good smelling lotion on his dick, and then stuck it inside of me."

"Fire in the hole," he said, without realizing it. "Shit, Bella, scratch that last comment. I am so sorry. I didn't even think of it."

"Obviously," I said, in a not so nice tone.

I got up and went to the bathroom. What a fucking nightmare. There was a gooey mess all over my underwear, and it burned like a motherfucker when I peed. I gingerly wiped and placed some wadded up toilet paper in the crotch of my panties. I was going to have to ice this shit when I got home.

Edward had already paid the bill when I returned to the table. "Let me at least get the tip," I said, as I laid the last bit of cash I had on the table.

"Um, how are things?" he asked, tentatively.

"How do you think they are? My coochie looks like a monkey's ass, it's so fucking red! Not to mention, I'm a sticky mess down there. Any other questions?" I said, in a snippy tone.

_I mean really? I know he was concerned and all, but really? Jerk-off lotion in my cooter. Wait until I tell Alice this one._

We walked outside, and the thought of getting on the bike was sickening. I moved like an eighty year old, as I gingerly straddled it.

"Oh, shit. I left my glasses inside. I'll be right back," he said, as he hurried back into the diner.

When he returned he did not look pleased at all. "Bella, where did you get this," he said, as he held up a wad of cash.

"Okay, so isn't the question, where did _you_ get it?" I answered back.

"Seriously, it's no time for joking," he said.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about." _What the hell was he talking about?_

"This money. Where did you get it?"

"It was a good day, I found twenty bucks in my pocket," I said, with a cheesy grin.

"BELLA," he growled. "Look at the money. It has purple dye all over it," he said, as he shoved it at me.

"That is the prettiest color purple. Why did you take her tip?"

"Oh my god, Bella. The fucking bank robbery! Purple dye exploded all over the money. I need to know where you got this!" He was almost shouting at me like I was hard of hearing.

"I paid for my drinks at the Mexican joint, and Laurent gave me back the change," I shouted back.

"Everything alright out here?" asked Jasmine, from behind us.

"Yes, _he_ is hard of hearing," I said back to her. "Oh, and add yourself a giant tip on his credit card," I said, with a wink.

"Thanks doll. I hope your twat feels better," she said, as she walked back inside.

Edward was staring at me like I was insane. "I'm sorry, Edward. The fire in my hole is making me a little crazy."

He silently got on the bike, and we headed towards my car. The ride was pure hell in a hand basket. Every bump we hit caused friction on my lady bits. I wished I had a spray bottle or some sort of fan. For a short trip, it seemed to take forever.

When we got to my car, Edward gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. I could tell his mind was moving a mile a minute trying to figure out why Laurent's money was purple. I didn't quite see the big deal since that money had probably changed hands a million times by now.

"Bella, I'm sorry about your...um, problem," he said, sweetly. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye, Edward. Even with the firey crotch, I'm still glad you came after me," I said, as I gave him a hug goodbye.

The drive home wasn't so bad. I was almost used to the fire down below. Weren't boyfriends supposed to put out that fire, not cause it in the literal sense? I guess, if there was a reason to burn, lotion was better than some random STD.

My apartment was quiet when I walked in. I went to the freezer and was hoping to find any sort of frozen vegetables I could use for an ice pack. I spotted some peas, so I grabbed them and headed for my room.

I wasn't that tired, so I thought I would give _that_ book a chance. I stripped down, changed my now crusty panties, grabbed the frozen peas, and hopped onto my bed. The coolness from the make-shift ice pack felt great. The flames were diminishing.

I must have really been concentrating on getting comfy, because as I looked up, Alice was standing at my doorway with an amused look on her face.

"Care to explain why you have peas covering your hoo ha?" she said, through a smile.

"Take a seat. It may take awhile," I answered, as I patted the bed.

**I want to thank all of my loyal readers...and reviewers! This was a bummer week, as this story got rejected for an under the radar fic. I am going back through and fixing things (typo's, paragraph breaks etc.)** **and resubmitting. Basically it was a way for them to pimp my story, since it had to be under 500 reviews to be entered in the first place. Wouldn't it be great to not need them to do it? You, my readers, know people, who know people etc... This wouldn't be eligible if I had more reviews...just sayin' **

**Thanks to jasminelovestwilight left me 23 awesome reviews in a row!**

**maxandmo on Twitter...oh, and I respond to everyone who reviews! **

**Who wants to count all of the different words I used in this chapter to describe Bella's vagina? I'm curious.**


	25. Even Steven

**Thanks to my awesome beta, secretobsession7 (secretobsess7 on twitter), for making time for this story. I appreciate all of the readers who have made this one of their favorites, put it on alert, and especially reviewed. The reviews mean a lot, and make me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, instead of simply writing for free on the internet;) **

**Stephenie Meyers owns these guys. **

**~Chapter 25~Even Steven**

**~~Edward~~**

I tossed and turned all night, it seemed. When I finally would fall into a deep slumber, something in my subconscious would startle me awake. Something was off with this case, and I wasn't sure how much support I would get from my superiors since the money was recovered, and it was technically closed.

It wasn't that far off to assume that the bank robber spent some of the money prior to holding up the restaurant. He may have given some away; most probably to his homies. It couldn't hurt to casually stop by the Mexican restaurant for lunch.

I slept in, mostly because I finally fell into a deep sleep when it was almost time to get up. My supervisor knew our squad kept crazy hours, so he never questioned where we were, or what time we came and went.

The first thing I thought of when I woke up was Bella's vag...and not in a good way. I wondered how it was holding up, and more importantly, when it would be functional again. I totally screwed myself, trying to screw myself.

I called Yorkie and asked, well, more like told him, that we were going to grab lunch at the Mexican place. It was a chance to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. He was at the office and said that he would meet me there.

As I was waiting for him to show up, I texted Bella.

**Baby...how r u...and ur privates?**

She responded immediately.

**hot...and almost ready**

I can't believe she responded with a pizza innuendo. Another text came in immediately after that.

**better, thanks to Alice**

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

**miss ya...c u later?**

I hoped anyways.

**k**

Yorkie pulled up and we headed inside. We were seated, and I was playing this casually. I told Yorkie what was up, and despite his better judgment, he was intrigued. I looked around for Laurent, but didn't see him anywhere.

Our server was a plain looking girl with acne, greasy hair, and thick glasses. Perfect. Yorkie and I scarfed up our lunch, and then I used the gift of flirtation, that I inherited from my dad, and acted like I was a friend of Laurent's. She proceeded to tell me all sorts of things about him, and how most recently he was giddy because his girlfriend had moved in with him.

I told her that we hadn't seen each other in awhile, and that we were supposed to stop over his place, but couldn't remember exactly what street it was on. She left our table, and then returned with his exact address written on a napkin, along with her number.

Score...well half of a score, since I was NEVER going to call her.

Now that I had the info, I needed to figure out what to do with it. Showing up at his door with Yorkie, unannounced, wasn't going to help matters. His house wasn't too far away from the restaurant, but it was in a part of town that had seen better days.

The drive there took longer than it should have, because Yorkie drove like a fucking grandpa. Since he was helping me, I didn't want to be a dick and lose him while he was following me. We pulled up to the curb and parked. There wasn't a ton of activity due to the fact that it was raining cats, dogs, and other random small animals, outside.

I needed to figure out a way to get inside without breaking the laws that I was sworn to protect. I just had a gut feeling about this, however, that wasn't enough to get the support from my superiors that I needed.

I told Yorkie to keep this on the down low, and instead of hitting the office, we hit the gym. He was a strong little fucker, which made up for the fact that he pulled his calf length socks...all the way up. I had never been to Iowa, where he was from, and didn't think I would be able to stand it based simply on their lagging fashion trends.

While I was running, a stellar idea came to me. I was going to use Bella and Alice as a ticket inside Laurent's house. They knew him, and from the looks of it, he could stand to get a haircut. I kept running over scenarios in my head until I thought of exactly what we should do.

I finished my workout, showered, and then headed to my office to finish up a couple of reports. I flew through them in no time, and was pretty much bored.

I picked up my phone and called Bella. "Hey sweetie, how are you?" I asked, while looking out the window. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining.

"Hi, well...the fire has been extinguished. Alice worked a miracle, and I'm good. How are you?" she asked.

"Good. Hey, do you want to go to dinner tonight? I have a proposition for you. I'll pick you up at six, and wear jeans so we can take the bike," I said, knowing she was going to be excited.

"Hell, yes!" she exclaimed.

"Bye, baby."

"See you at six!"

I looked around the office, and since it was dead, I decided to take off. My girl needed some biking gear. I stopped at the Harley shop and bought her a lightweight nylon jacket that was black with an orange stripe from one end to the other. She was going to look incredible in it, and I was so excited to give it to her.

I was eying some chaps, and felt my dick twitch as I imagined her wearing them with nothing underneath. I didn't want her to think I was a total perv, and I certainly didn't want her to wear them for their intended purposes, so I passed on them.

It was a couple of minutes before six and my stomach started to flutter, as it always did when I was about to see my girl. My doorbell rang and as I opened it I was met with the hottest babe ever. I had to do a double take to make sure it was, indeed, Bella.

She stood in front of me wearing a pair of tight jeans, with a black studded belt, a tight long sleeved Harley Davidson shirt, a black bandana on her head to match, and she was holding a jean jacket.

"Wow, you are one hot biker babe," I said, in awe.

"Thanks," she said, shyly. "Is this okay?"

"Um, yeah, it's better than okay. We better leave now, or else I may forego dinner for dessert."

"Not so much, Mr. Smelly Lotion Penis Guy," she said, all snarky.

"I'm sorry. I promise to make it up to your privates," I said, as I reached out and touched them lightly.

She gasped, started to flinch, and then just smiled. "Edward, hands off. I'm starving!"

Bella turned to leave, and I stopped her with my hand. "I refuse to let you on my bike with that jacket."

"Excuse me? What's wrong with my jacket?" she responded.

"Well, I happen to like this one better," I said, as I handed her the new one.

"Edward! I fucking love it!" she squealed. "I saw it at the store, but it was so expensive. Thank you!" She leaned towards me, and devoured my mouth with her own.

I pushed her against the front door with my body. I was grinding against her as we continued kissing. She had her hands on my ass pulling me closer still. Our kiss broke and left us both panting, yet wanting more. We locked eyes, and I could see the desire in hers.

"Edward, I want you so bad, but we need to give my cooter a rest. Alice said no contact for twenty-four hours."

I was silently trying to do the math in my head, all the while wondering when Alice became a gyno expert.

"Okay, but I have to warn you," I said, seductively, "I'm not sure I can behave after having you on the back of my bike."

She pulled my arm, and led us out the door.

Having Bella on the back of my bike was amazing. Her warmth radiated through my body, and I couldn't believe she had never ridden on the back of a bike before. She was lightly scratching my back, and I loved it. I took the longest way possible to the restaurant in order to stretch out our ride.

I never imagined I would end up with a boner by the time we got there. My girl went from scratching my back, to fondling my pecker in an instant. I could barely manage to continue driving, when all I really wanted to do was pull over and have my way with her off-limit crotch on the side of the road.

This girl pushed my buttons, thus endangering my self control. How could I want someone so badly? My heart said one thing, but my mind was too scared to let the words linger. There was no way I could let the words come out of my mouth this soon.

Things were so easy with us, I was only hoping that they would continue this way. She awakened feelings inside of me that I had no idea even existed. In such a short time, she made me feel more than I had in my entire life. I knew that no matter what, Bella had etched a permanent residence inside of my heart.

Was it ironic that I was having thoughts of love, at the same time Bella was giving me a Harley hand job? Perhaps, but I felt this way when we weren't messing around also.

I eased the bike into the parking lot, and at the same time tried to find a secluded spot where Bella could finish her 'job'.

"Bella, you're driving me crazy," I moaned, as I shut off the engine. "Seriously, I can't go inside like this," I said, as I motioned to the bulge in my pants.

"So don't," she said, as she got off of the bike and motioned for me to follow her.

Bella walked to the side of the restaurant that butted up to a fence. I followed her like a puppy...with a boner. She headed behind the big blue dumpster, and I was suddenly wondering if my woody could sustain the smell of garbage, along with the various creatures that surely occupied this area.

"Bella, really?"

She turned around and attacked me with her lips, and I instantly sprung back to life, not giving two shits where we were. Before I could register what was happening, her hands were working on the button of my jeans. Despite being grossed out by our location, I was pretty turned on.

Her hand made it's way into my pants, freeing my insanely hard and throbbing cock. She started to gently massage my shaft, reaching further down to cup my balls with her other hand. The pressure increased, as my girl continued to stroke me. Suddenly she stopped and released me from her grasp. She walked over to a stack of crates, grabbed one, and then positioned it in front of me.

"I am so not getting on my knees in this alley," she said, as she returned her hands to my package.

She took me into her mouth as deep as possible, and then slowly licked her way back up to the top, swirling her tongue around the head. She continued this motion several times, and it felt so fucking incredible.

All I thought about all freaking day was a blow job from Bella. It was like a secret obsession that I had obtained. I never imagined that it would happen _before_ dinner. This was the best dinner date ever!

She added her hand, which was slick with saliva, and matched the movements of her mouth, gliding up and down on my dick. Her other hand was massaging my balls. As her movements increased, so did the pressure down below, sending me into a frenzy.

"Bella," I moaned, as I weaved my fingers through her hair, "I'm so close, baby."

"Mmm," she responded, with my cock still in her mouth.

The vibration of her voice was all I needed. I thrusted in sync with her mouth, and continued playing with her hair. "I'm gonna cum."

I felt my release bubbling up to the surface, and at the same time, she took me out of her mouth. My release, released itself all over the top of my jeans, and the bottom of my shirt. As I looked down at the mess, she looked up at me with a smirk.

I had mixed emotions. The blow job was incredible, but I was unnerved by the jizz all over myself. What the fuck? Then, it was like a lightbulb went off inside of my head. They were the same emotions she must have had after the lotion incident. The pleasure, followed by the 'burn'.

"I think we're even now," I said.

"Yes, I think we are," she said, with a sexy smile.

She gave me her bandana, and I cleaned up as best as I could. I threw the bandana into the dumpster, and we headed in to eat dinner at Max and Mo's Steakhouse.

"So, what's this proposition you wanted to talk to me about?" Bella asked, after we finished eating.

"Okay, so how well do you know Laurent?" I wanted to ease into this since I knew she thought I was overreacting.

"Edward, I told you, he's a good guy. He is working his way through school and always treats us great. The last time I saw him he was so excited because his girlfriend had just moved in with him."

"Baby, I know you think I'm overreacting, but something just seems a little off. Here's what I was thinking. You and Alice go hangout at the restaurant, and then convince him to get his hair cut. You said he's going to be a nurse, right? When's the last time you saw a nurse with dreads? Anyways, you guys tell him that she will do it at his house, and while Alice is cutting, you can snoop around a little bit."

"Edward, for real?" Bella said, as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Come on. I just need to know if anything looks out of the ordinary. You know, any purple money laying around."

She was staring at me, and looked as if she was actually thinking it over. "Okay, but under one condition. You teach me how to ride."

_Fuck. I was not letting her experiment on my bike. My baby had been through enough. _

"Um..." I was at a loss for words.

"Edward, I'm totally kidding. I don't want to ride my own bike because I only want to be on the back of yours. I'll have to talk to Alice, but if it will set your mind at ease, then I'll do it."

"Thank you. Oh, and Bella, only three more hours until your snatch is back on-limits."

She smiled, and at the same time I felt a kick to my shins from under the table. "Now, we're even."

**What did you think of Bella's back alley blow job? I think FBIward liked it. I **_**can**_** know what you thought in the form of reviews...I love them and respond to every one. I'm maxandmo on twitter. **

**Hot and ready is the slogan for a popular pizza place where I live.  
**


	26. Super Creamy

**Thanks to my readers and reviewers! I owe so much to my beta secretobsession7. She is awesome! Follow her on twitter: secretobsess7.**

**~Chapter 26~Super Creamy**

**~~Bella~~**

"Bella, that is the most fucked up, yet hottest story ever. Sex in the Escort though... really? I mean it's not like you live with your parents or anything." Alice was inappropriately proud of me for my recent sexual escapades.

"You're the one who is always telling me to live in the moment. I needed to live in _that_ moment," I explained.

When I told her the reason for the peas, she was laughing so hard she dribbled in her panties.

"Bella, let me fix you up." She suddenly brought out mixing bowls and tampons. "I have the best remedy ever. It's like a super cream!"

I was not interested in finding out why Alice had super cream for burning crotches. "Alice, what the frick are you doing?" I asked, eying the supplies.

"Trust me, Bella. I'm going to extinguish the bush fire," she said, in all seriousness.

"Al, those are called brush fires."

"Yeah, well, bush...brush, what the fuck ever. You have a bush fire in your under brush."

She went to the kitchen and came back with a couple of containers of yogurt and some white vinegar.

"Alice, I am not in the mood for a snack, and I certainly don't feel like cleaning anything. Where in the hell is your super cream?"

"Patience, fire crotch, patience."

I watched in horror as she dumped a container of yogurt into the bowl followed by a couple of capfuls of the vinegar. She started to mix it up and was counting out loud. I didn't question her, as she was concentrating so hard on her concoction.

When she got it just right, so she said, she went into the bathroom, bringing out a super tampon with her. She took it out of the applicator and swirled it around in the mixing bowl. After it was sufficiently coated with the 'super cream', she handed it to me.

"Stuff this up your twat. Edward is not allowed in there for twenty-four hours. Do you hear me? Twenty-four hours, Bella. Next time you need to sniff his pecker before you stick it inside. Not only can you avoid situations such as these, but you can also make sure there is no other random vag juice on it.".

"Alice? What the h...?" I started to say, before she interrupted me.

"Go!" she exclaimed, while shoving the tampon at me.

I did as she said, and silently vowed to kill her if she was fucking with me.

I sat at work reveling in the fact that the ache in my cooter had calmed down. Alice needed to market her 'super cream', though I doubt the demand was that high for such a thing.

I was waiting for Riley to report to my office. He had been let out of jail the previous night, and was supposed to see me before he started his job. My thoughts were interrupted by Irina calling to notify me that he was in the lobby.

I opened the door to the waiting room and was enraged by what I saw. "Riley?" I questioned. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"Hey, Officer Swan. I had a rough night."

He was beaten to a pulp. Both of his eyes were black and he had a huge gash on his forehead. As he walked in front of me to my office, I noticed him limping more than normal and gingerly holding his ribs.

"What happened?" I asked, as he sat facing me.

"I was jumped outside of the jail after I was released last night. I thought it was the end until one of those transportation cops happened to walk by. If it wasn't for him, I would be in way worse shape."

"So, you have no idea who did this to you?" I asked, carefully.

"No. I'm sure that it was a random thing," he said, while avoiding eye contact.

"Are you still going to work today?" I asked.

"Yep. It's my first day you know."

He said once again that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and swore that he knew nothing about the bank robbery. I warned him to stay away from questionable people, and gave him the useless, but necessary 'stay out of prison' lecture. He signed his sanction, and went on his not so merry way.

I was starving, so I fumbled around in my messenger back looking for some sort of snack. I heard a vibration from under my desk which scared the shit out of me. There, underneath my desk, was my cell phone.

The rest of the work day flew by after Edward called. I was so exited to go on a regular date with him, and I couldn't wait to get back on his bike. I hurried home and ransacked my closet as I looked for something to wear. Nothing I found seemed appropriate, so I walked my ass back to my car and ran up to the Harley shop.

I settled on a long sleeve t-shirt that hugged my boobs just right, and a black bandana. As I eyed the leather chaps, I immediately started to daydream about seeing Edward in them. I couldn't even imagine what his bare ass would look like in them. I wondered if they rented them out, but dared not ask such a thing. They were fucking expensive.

When I was walking out the door, I stopped in my tracks when I saw an incredible black and orange riding jacket. I tried it on just to see how it felt, but was pissed when they didn't have my size. I guess it was okay since it was pretty expensive.

The look on Edward's face when he saw me in the Harley gear was worth everything. I was ever thankful that I stopped at the store, and that I obviously made the right choice when I picked out my outfit. My privates stopped me from starving to death because if I had the all clear, we would have never made it to dinner. It was such a turn on to see him look at me like I was the cat's ass. The looks, coupled with the jacket that he bought me, would have equaled lots of sex and no dinner-date.

It was so ironic that the store didn't have my size because he had already bought it for me. He is the most thoughtful person ever. I was trying to think of ways to show him how much I appreciated him. My thoughts turned dirty the minute the vibrations of the bike hit my lady bits. They were on fire, but this time in a good way.

I figured it was okay to tease him a little and found it pretty amusing that the minute I started rubbing his dick, he took the longest route possible to the restaurant. I knew that we would never make it through dinner if at least one of us didn't get some release from the sexual tension that had been building since I arrived at his place.

Since his silky smooth and lotioned pee-pee was on-limits, it was him. I was starving, so a protein penis shake is what I was going to opt for as an appetizer. I absolutely was in love with his peen, so sucking the life out of it was pure pleasure. My vajayjay was aching, and itching a little, and as he was close to cumming, I couldn't help but pay him back just a little for the incident that rendered my love box useless.

All in all, the pre-dinner part of our date was a total win. Dinner was great, as I ordered a steak since I had opted out of the pre-dinner protein. I could tell Edward was a little pissed and a lot grossed out. The location was icky, and I had to hold in my laughter when I caught him eying his shirt on more than one occasion. At least he got off, I still had diary products and cleaning supplies shoved up my twat.

I agreed to talk Alice into the haircut. I knew she would love to get her hands on Laurent's hair. I would leave it up to her to talk him into it. Snooping was one of my mad skills, so I was game. If there was nothing to hide, then there was no reason I shouldn't be a little nosy. After all, if he invited us in, didn't that make it fair game?

Edward took us on a long and leisurely ride home. There was no Harley hand job, just plain old riding. I loved the feel of the wind in my hair, and felt so safe and secure with Edward in control.

We made out like teenagers in his parking lot before I got into my car and headed home. As I parked and started my trek down the street towards my apartment, I felt a sense of uneasiness creep over me. I couldn't really explain it, it was like I felt eyes on me, but when I turned around...over and over...I didn't see anyone.

I walked as fast as I could the rest of the way with my keys in-between my fingers so I could stab a bastard if one tried to get me. Mrs. Nosy-ass Cope was out front smoking, and I hoped I could rush past before she forced me to catch cancer by updating me on the building's latest gossip.

"Hi, honey. I didn't notice a storm. Are you okay?" she asked, while looking me up and down.

_What the hell was she talking about? _

"I'm fine, Mrs. Cope," I said, as I hurried past. "Alice is waiting for me. Good to see you," I lied...twice.

When I walked in everything was quiet. I set my keys down and was looking through my mail when I heard a noise behind me. My heart rate accelerated, and I was trying to remember all the moves they taught us in self-defense class. I turned around Kung-Fu style and screamed bloody murder, as did the person standing in front of me.

"Alice? Is that you? Motherfuck! You scared the hell out of me." She was standing in front of me with some sort of mud on her face that was tinted green.

"Bella? You look like Amy Winehouse. Are you okay? Did you get struck by lightening?"

I walked over to the mirror and gasped. My hair looked like a beehive. No wonder Mrs. cope asked if I was okay. It was full of knots and was high as hell on the top of my head. I was a little confused, and then I remembered that Edward had used my bandana to clean himself up. Note to self: never ride on a motorcycle without anything on your head.

I headed toward the shower and Alice stopped me. "Bella, you can't take a shower for another couple of hours!" she said, while pointing at my cooter.

"Well, I'm going to listen to you since your 'super cream' really is magical."

She smiled, then walked around me into the shower.

_Bitch._

I heard the water shut off and out strutted Alice in her pink cheetah patterned robe. "Bella, you have to try this mud mask. I swear, it's like that magic eraser thingy that that bald guy talks about. Rose concocted it. I look fabulous," she said, as she moved her face within an inch of mine. "Betcha can't spot a wrinkle."

"Alice, you're in your early twenties. I highly doubt you had any to begin with."

"Bella, don't be a hater of my fabulousness. Here, you can look good too," she said, as she grabbed the container and handed it to me.

It wasn't worth the fight, so I rubbed the shit all over my face, and then sat still while it hardened. Mask was an understatement, it was so hard I could barely make any sort of facial expression. I was counting down the minutes until I could shower. My vajayjay was a crusty mess, and to add insult to injury, so was my face.

"Bells, I need to do some stretches before Jasper gets here. I'll be in my room."

Stretches? Whatever, Alice was a freak. I was staring at the clock in anticipation of washing off all of the crustiness, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come on in," I yelled, as I went to my room to change into my robe.

"Hi, Bella. It's been three hours," Edward said from behind me.

Holy hell. I couldn't turn around; I looked like a mummified freak-show. "What a surprise."

He moved closer to me and placed his hands around my waist. "Baby, I just couldn't stay away from you," he said, as he lightly tugged on the sash of my robe. He placed one of his hands on my hair, and tentatively touched the rat's nest. "Okay, so I guess we have to replace that bandana. You look like you were electrocuted."

"So I've heard. Alice finally cleared me to take a shower," I said nervously.

He tried to turn me around towards him, and I resisted.

"Bella? I'm sorry, I should have called first," he said, in a deflated tone.

"No, Edward. I'm glad you're here," I said with my back still to him.

"Then what's the matter?" he asked.

"Hey, guys! How are y'all?" Jasper said from my doorway.

I turned around when I heard his voice, hence forgetting my mud mask. Edward audibly sucked in a deep breath when he saw my face.

"Bella, I see Alice got to you," Jasper said, with a snicker. "Don't feel bad, she got to me too. That stuff works wonders," he said, as he rubbed his face. "Did you get struck by lightening?"

Edward was laughing at Jasper's revelation, as well as my face. I flipped him off and headed into the bathroom.

I hurried up in the shower, well as fast as someone can possibly hurry when they have crust in their orphuses, and crazy knotted hair, and made sure to shave all of my important places. My girly parts were alive and well, and tingling in anticipation of what was to come.

I went to my room and threw on some clothes and could hear Alice, Jasper, and Edward in the living room.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

Alice had the mud mask spread all over Edward's face. "Edward wanted some of my fabulousness," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Really, she bribed me." Alice silenced Edward with a finger to her lips.

"No talking until it dries," she said, as she smacked him on the arm.

"Ow!"

"Shh," she said. "I told Edward I would talk Laurent into getting his haircut in exchange for his facial cleanse." She turned to Edward, "Your face is too pretty not to take care of properly."

"Edward told us his theory and we agreed to help out," Jasper said.

The four of us decided to meet at the restaurant tomorrow after work.

We paired off and went to our respective rooms. I was ever thankful that our bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment. Edward rinsed his face off and I had to admit, he did indeed look fabulous.

"Come here," he said with a seductively, sexy smile.

I moved towards him and put my arms around his neck. We gazed into each others eyes, and he lifted me up so that I was straddling his waist.

"I seriously can't get enough of you," he said, as he leaned in for a kiss.

He peppered my neck with kisses, and as our mouths met, the gentleness turned into mounting passion. We were feverishly kissing, and he moved us to the wall. My back was pressed against the wall, and his hard cock was pressed against me.

He lifted my t-shirt and moaned when he saw that I didn't have a bra on. He roughly took one of my nipples in his mouth, while pinching the other one. He moved up my neck, nipping and lightly sucking, and then moved back to my perk nipples.

I lifted his shirt off and threw it across the room. He pressed his chest up against mine, and ravished my neck. My hands were tugging at his hair, as I pulled him back to my mouth. We were completely devouring each other and only stopped when our teeth clanked together.

He let me down long enough for us to shed the rest of our clothes. I got on my knees and sniffed his package. "Just checking," I said, in a mocking tone as I made a move for my bed.

"Ha ha. Do you really think I would jeopardize the health of your beaver again?" He grabbed my arm, stopping my movements as he lifted me back up and headed for the wall.

Sex with Edward was straight out of a dirty magazine. It was hot and dirty, but loving at the same time. I loved doing it with him, and wanted to for a long time...as long as his peen was clean.

My legs were wrapped around his waist and I could feel him, hard and throbbing at my entrance. He looked me in the eyes as he pushed forward and entered my oozing sex. We rocked together in perfect sync, using the wall for support. I could hear the 'thunk, thunk, thunk' of my head hitting the wall, but didn't care.

Edward's movements increased as he let out a guttural growl. "Oh, Bella. You feel so good."

I loved when he talked during sex, which in turn brought me close to cumming all over him. "Harder, Edward," I moaned. He continued thrusting urgently, and my release overcame me. "Yes! I'm cumming!" I exclaimed.

"Bella," he moaned, as he came with a fury.

I could feel him pulsating inside of me, adding to my already quivering cooter. He rested against me, both of us leaning against the wall. I slowly brought my legs down from around his waist, and my legs felt like jell-o. Edward gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and then enveloped me in his strong arms. I laid my head on his shoulder and was then interrupted by the sound of Alice's voice shouting at me.

"Bella, are you alright? Let me in. I think there was an earthquake. The walls were shaking, and I heard a bunch of rumbling noises. I came into the kitchen and it only got louder! Let me in!" She was speaking in a frantic tone, which made me a little nervous.

Edward looked at me quizzically and threw on some clothes, I did the same. "Okay, Alice. I'm coming." I couldn't help but snicker as I said the same words in such a different context minutes before.

I yanked open the door to find an amused Jasper and a frantic Alice. "Bella, quick, we need to get into the bathtub," she said, tugging on my arm.

"Alice, calm down. Isn't that a tornado?"

"Where?" she asked, looking around.

"No, I mean, don't you get into a bathtub if there's a tornado?"

"I don't know," she said, her voice shaking.

I looked over at Edward, who I noticed was staring at Jasper. They were doing their best to hold in their laughter.

"Um, darlin', why don't we turn on the television and see if there's anything being reported about it?" he said soothingly.

Jasper and I locked eyes and I could feel myself blush. I knew he was pacifying Alice because she was so upset. I could tell right then that he was in love with her.

Obviously there was nothing to report, and Alice looked genuinely confused. The phone rang and she raced to it. I heard her say a bunch of "uh huhs" and then she muttered "I'm sorry" and hung up.

"Well, that was Mrs. Cope. She was calling to complain about the loud ruckus that was coming from our apartment. It seems that she was kept awake by a thumping noise. Hm...I guess there was an earthquake. It just happened to be in your room, Bella," she said, as she looked pointedly at me. "Come on Jasper," she said, as she pulled him back towards her room.

"Well, that went well. I was just going to let it go. At least she knows her super cream worked," I said to Edward.

Before he could open his mouth, I quickly warned him, "don't ask."

I fell asleep in Edward's arms and when I woke there was a note from him telling me he couldn't wait to see me at dinner. He signed it 'Love Edward', and did I ever.

**A/N: Another chapter of funny fluff. I couldn't help but crack up a little. I respond to my reviewers, and am maxandmo on Twitter:) **


	27. Los New Mooners

**Thanks to my awesome beta secretobsession7 (secretobsess7 on twitter)! I think she's the cat's ass! To all my readers and especially reviewers...I send you big FBIward, Agentward, and Federalward smooches!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns this in case y'all forgot. (I just got home from vacationing down south;)**

**~Chapter 27~Los New Mooners**

**~~Edward~~**

My masculinity needed a boost after the mud mask, so I was more than ready to indulge in some raw and intense sex with my girl. It was amazing to say the least. No surprise, since it always was.

Perhaps it was because I was in love with her. I spent the entire night wrapped in her arms, listening to her lightly snore, and watching as drool pooled at the corners of her mouth...without being grossed out. It finally dawned on me as the sun was coming up; I LOVED ISABELLA SWAN. I never said I was bright when it came to that stuff. Now that I knew it, I needed to figure out when, how, and if to tell Bella. I didn't want to freak her out, but I knew at some point I was bound to get diarrhea of the mouth.

I waited until an almost reasonable hour to head to work. I knew that if I waited for Bella to wake up, we would both end up getting to our respective offices very late.

I caught shit immediately from some of the guys. They knew something was up when I was there super early, with 'a cat that just ate the canary' type of grin. I wanted to shout from the desktops that I was in love, but that would have surely caused me more grief than the manscaping did. These guys were my friends, well sort of, but they surely didn't give a flying fuck if I was all lovey-dovey or not. I'm sure Yorkie would listen and be a little supportive; however, at the end of the day he would just want details that I wasn't willing to divulge.

Work was uneventful, luckily the day passed by quickly. I couldn't wait to see Bella, but I had to keep reminding myself not to spill my feelings for her at a Mexican Restaurant, with two of our friends, and a possible purple money spender, who my girlfriend liked. I needed to focus on the task at hand.

When I got to the restaurant I was pleasantly surprised to see Emmett and Rose getting out of her car. It was amusing to see such a big motherfucker get out of such a small car. She drove a BMW M3 that was like an icy blue color. It was a very hot car...for a chick. Seeing as Rose was a hot chick, it fit her perfectly.

"Hey, dick-licker," I said, while giving him a man slap on the back. He turned around and picked me up, engulfing me in a bear hug that almost broke my fucking ribs. He gave me a huge smooch on the cheek and set me down. "Ow, fuck," I said, as I tried to take a couple of deep breaths.

"Hey there, SAC. What's shakin'?" he said with a smile. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked mockingly.

Rose was snickering beside him. They were two brutal fucks that were perfect for each other. If I had to imagine their sexual acts, I was sure it entailed beating the fuck out of each other. I wouldn't be surprised if I found out they were into some freaky dominatrix shit. I could almost imagine Emmett tied up and Rose whipping the hell out of him.

Now I was the one snickering and they were staring at me. "Edward, what are you smiling about?" Rose asked with her hands on her hips.

"Do you whip the shit out of Emmett in private?" I didn't mean to ask the ridiculously personal question, it just flew out of my diarrhea mouth.

"I'm going to fucking kill Alice," she said.

"Dude. We only did that shit once. Rosie promised it would be cool. Apparently she read some fuck-hot story about that shit on the internet. Not cool. My big ass was crying like a baby. It was fifty shades of fucked up," Emmett answered honestly.

"If you want, I can let Bella borrow my gear," Rose said, with a devious snicker.

As much I wanted to see Bella in black leather gear, I had to draw the line at whipping. "We're just fine, but thanks for offering Rose," I said, with a wink.

The three of us walked into the restaurant and spotted our group right away. I didn't want to be obvious, but I was hoping to spot Laurent. Spot him, I did. He was leaning over the back of Bella's chair talking to her a little too close to her ear for my liking. I made eye contact with Alice, who immediately looked nervous.

I took a seat at the table, but didn't say a word. Bella was oblivious to my presence and was giggling at whatever the fuck he was whispering into her ear. She flung her hair over her shoulder and was totally engaging him in conversation. I took some deep breaths and audibly gasped when I felt someone kick me in the shins from under the table. I looked across to Bella who was glaring at me.

I felt like an asshole for being so bothered by the harmless flirting. I couldn't help it, I loved the girl! Rose was looking at me with her eyebrows raised. Was I really that fucking easy to read? All my secret training was worthless when it came to my feelings for Bella.

Laurent excused himself from the table and everyone sort of relaxed. "What?" I questioned.

"Whatever, Edward. You're so pussy whipped it's even sicker than ole Jasper over there," Rose said, as she pointed to Jazz. "But your skin is just glowing. Did you use my super cream?"

With that, Bella spit her margarita out of her mouth and started coughing. Alice was laughing so hard she snorted, and Rose was looking at them confused as hell.

"Yes, Rose, I used your_ mud mask _on Edward. Doesn't he look fabulous?" Alice said, through her laughter.

"Then what the hell is so funny? I mean big deal, Edward used a mud mask. I waxed Emmett's ass hair for crying out loud," Rose said, as she moved the salsa and chips closer to her. "Oh, and another thing Little-Miss-Alice-blabber-mouth, thanks for telling Edward that I whipped Emmett's ass and made him cry like a baby."

"Aw baby, come on. We're out to dinner," Emmett said.

The rest of us were laughing so hard that people from other tables were staring at us with curious expressions. If they only knew what we were laughing at. The visuals of Emmett, and his now hairless ass, were making me quickly lose my appetite. Rose and Emmett dove headfirst into their chips and salsa like they didn't have a care in the world.

I reached across the table and took Bella's hand in my own. I couldn't believe how much I missed her having only been away from her for mere hours. Rose was right, I was definitely pussy whipped. I loved Bella and her pussy. The restaurant was starting to fill up, and I noticed a Mariachi band setting up. Nothing like a few fat guys with big hats to liven up the evening. My mother loved these bands.

Laurent came back to the table, handed Alice a piece of paper, and told her he'd see her tomorrow. He winked at Bella and walked away. The minute he was out of sight Alice explained what was going on to Rose and Emmett. They seemed skeptical at first, but decided what the hell and were going to go along with the plan. Rose offered to go with the girls so she could apply her 'super cream' in order to further distract Laurent.

Our food came just as the band started strumming to its' Mexican beat. I was enjoying my enchilada immensely, and was feeding Bella a bite, when I heard an obnoxious lady in the front of the restaurant yelling, "Arriba, Arriba." Her back was to us, but she had on an enormous sombrero. I could see that she was holding a huge margarita with two straws sticking out of it. I couldn't help but stare at the back of this peculiar person.

"Whoa," Jasper said. "That chick loves her some Mariachi."

"Edward, isn't that your pops?" Emmett said, as he pointed to the bar.

I looked over and locked eyes with my father, who was carrying a basket of chips and some salsa from the bar. He went to wave and slopped salsa all over his Bermuda shirt. I could feel myself blush with embarrassment for him. I know if that had happened to me, it would have been a deal breaker. Though, I was okay eating with jizz all over my shirt. Hm, I guess it was because I at least owed Bella dinner after the fantastic BJ beforehand.

"Hey, son. How are you guys?" my dad said, as he reached our table.

Everyone said their hellos, and I was wondering who he was there with. "Hi dad. What's the good word?"

Before I could ask where my mom was, the obnoxious lady turned around flailing her arms in some sort of salsa dance attempt, spilling half of her drink in the process.

"Dude, that looks just like your mom," Emmett said innocently.

Kill me now. My fucking mother was dressed in a floral frock while wearing a sombrero on her head. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was screeching out Spanish words, she was also half in the bag and attempting horrid dance moves.

"Esme, Edward and his friends are here," my father shouted to her over the music.

I looked at Bella, who was amused, to say the least. Rose was silently laughing and had snot running from her nose. Alice yelled out "Fuck yeah" and went to greet her, and Jasper excused himself to go to the men's room. Emmett was awestruck and was staring at her with his mouth hanging open.

"Edward, you know these guys are your mother's favorites. You could have at least invited her to join you."

"Dad, I had no idea they were here tonight or that mom had a specific favorite Mariachi Band."

Before Alice and my mother reached our table, the lead Mariachi guy asked if everyone could have his attention. The room went silent.

"Amigos, I am proud to present the president of our fan club, Senora Cullen." The lead Mariachi guy handed the microphone to my mother, as he curtsied with respect.

"Adios, I am so honored to be president of Los New Mooners. I love these hombres. Can I get a hell yeah?" She had her fist pumping in the air and was cheek to cheek smiles. I could see her bouffant hair sticking out of the sides of the sombrero, and I was sure she had no idea that she started off her speech with 'goodbye'.

The restaurant patrons decided to appease her and all of a sudden the entire crowd broke into the 'hell yeah' chant. Esme was working the hell out of the crowd. If I wasn't so horrified, I might have actually been a little proud of her.

She held up her hand, and the crowd quieted down for her to speak. "We have t-shirts on sale at the hostess stand for the bargain price of $15.00."

It was at this point that my dad unbuttoned his godawful Bermuda shirt to reveal a neon yellow t-shirt that had three large men on it bending over with their pants down, shooting the moon. The top of the shirt said 'Los New', and the bottom said 'Mooners'.

My father was wearing a shirt with naked men's asses on it. I felt myself turn fire engine red, and I was never happier for the shooter of tequila that Jasper placed in front of me. No words were needed as I drank it down. Alice sauntered over in her new groupie shirt, bringing 'the president' with her.

"Wow, Mrs. Cullen, that was amazing," Rose said, winking at me.

"Thanks Rose. You need to get yourself a shirt. Bella, nice to see you again, cheers," she said, as she drained the rest of her margarita. "Nice to see you drinking, dear." As she said this, she looked at my father and pointed at Bella's now empty drink. Esme was strange on all levels.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my mother pulled up a chair next to Bella. "Hiya," she said as she put her arm around Bella, "how are things going between you and my boy? I've never seen him so happy." she hiccuped, which proved that she was indeed tipsy. "In fact, I would be willing to bet that he looooves youuuu. Don't ya, Edward?"

With that question she leaned over to grab me and engulfed the both of us in a ginormous awkward hug. When the hug lasted a little too long, I noticed that my mother was passed out cold. I had to admit, instead of being horrified like I probably should have, I was relieved.

Emmett, dad, and I maneuvered my mom out of the restaurant. When the rest of the place caught wind of what was going on, they started up the 'hell yeah' chant once again. I even heard a couple of people shout out 'adios' as they laughed.

"Thanks guys. Your mother was nervous before her speech, so she must have drank her margaritas too fast. It was great running into you tonight, but Esme will kick your asses if you ever go see Los New Mooners without her again. You've been warned," he said, with a snicker. "Son, may I suggest that you tell that girl how you feel about her already. I wouldn't wait any longer if I were you." He drove away with a wave.

"Dude, your parents are a fucking riot," Emmett said. "Oh, and by the way, we all know you love Bella. Well, except for maybe her, that is. Just tell her you pussy."

I knew my father was right, yet I was nervous as fuck to share my feelings with her. I was freaking out the whole ride home because I had made up my mind to tell her when the time was right, hopefully soon. Since Alice was half or maybe all the way in the bag, and was the proud owner of the new Los New Mooners CD, Bella decided to stay over at my place. I was fidgeting like crazy and must have ran my through my hair a bazillion times. Thankfully Bella was a little tipsy and was too busy fussing with my radio to notice.

We walked in and she grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs. I picked her up and carried her over the threshold of my bedroom, setting her on my bed. She looked up at me through her lashes and signaled for me to join her. I gingerly sat down and we kissed tenderly. She placed her hands in my hair and our kiss turned feverish.

Our tongues were wrestling for dominance as I slipped my hands underneath her shirt. I unclasped her bra with one hand, a skill I mastered in high school, and grasped her hard nipple. She moaned with pleasure as I continued to play with it.

I was ready to take her shirt off when she shoved me away from her. I looked at her questioningly, and at the same time was trying to figure out what I did wrong. Before I had the chance to ask, she slowly and seductively moved off of the bed, took off her shirt, revealing a red lacy bra hanging in front of her. She quickly re-clasped the hook, as not to ruin her moment, and moved on to her pants.

As she undid her jeans and moved them down her body, I could see the top of lacy red panties. Bella looked at me and exaggeratedly licked her lips, sliding them further down. They fell to her ankles and she shyly smiled at me. As she took a step forward to get out of them completely, she lost her balance, and fell face first onto my bed.

She muttered "shit" as she was displayed in front of me with her ass in my direct vicinity. The red panties were g-strings and sexy as fuck. I was thanking my lucky stars that she happened to lose her balance. I used her position to my advantage as I moved forward and caressed her butt cheek. Her white, silky smooth skin was taunting me so I slapped one cheek, then the other.

I wasn't sure how Bella was going to react, but she let out a moan that made my cock harder than I thought possible. "You like that, baby?" I whispered to her.

I continued to alternate between caressing her backside and smacking it. It was such a turn-on to see her skin turn pink. I pulled the string of her panties away from her body and ran my hand underneath it. I was teasing her backdoor entrance and could tell that she was turned on as the moaning continued.

I slid my hands down further to find her pussy oozing with want. I let my fingers trail up and down from her ass to her entrance, teasing her and making her beg for more. My fingers were slick from her sex as I trailed them up to play in her forbidden hole once again. I put a little pressure and felt my finger slide in just a tiny bit. Gauging from Bella's reaction, she wasn't opposed. I pushed my finger in deeper and then felt her tense up. I had gone far enough for the first time. I wasn't exactly into butt-sex, but I definitely found it hot to dabble around a little.

I slid my hand back down to her wetness and pushed two of my fingers inside of her. She pushed her hips up to meet my pulsating fingers. "Oh god, Edward. I want you so fucking bad."

"Oh, yeah," I answered back all cocky.

I pushed my fingers in and out of her a couple more times, and then I got on my knees behind her. I moved her panties out of the way and licked her up and down. I swirled my tongue around her backside and then moved to her pussy. She was so wet and tasted so good. It was purely amazing.

"Edward," she moaned.

"Bella?" I answered.

"I want you inside of me," she moaned. "Now!"

I stood up and stripped my pants off. I pulled her down the bed and placed her legs so that they were touching the floor and spread them apart. I pulled her panties off and lined myself up at her entrance.

"Like this, baby?" I said, as I pushed into her.

"Um, hmm. Just like that," she said, panting.

I grabbed her hips and increased the intensity of my thrusts. I was trying to get as deeply inside of her as possible. I continued a steady motion as I reached around and grabbed one of her nipples. I knew I was close to cumming and needed her to as well. I laced my fingers with hers and brought it down to the front of her. I took her finger and placed it on her clit and felt her start to rub it gently. I placed my hand back on her hip as I continued thrusting.

"Bella, I'm so close. Knowing that you're touching yourself is driving me insane." I needed to see her touch herself in the very near future.

"I'm right there, Edward. Harder," she instructed.

My thrusts were out of control. She was moaning and I hoped like hell it was from pleasure, because I was not ever going to hurt my girl in order to make myself fell good. I felt her tense up around me and knew she was cumming so I pumped steadily a couple more times until I felt my own release bubble up to the surface. I exploded inside of her with all that I had.

I pulled out of her and we both moved onto my bed. We snuggled up under the covers and stayed like that. I knew it was time to tell her how I felt.

"I love you," I stated simply. "I have never felt about anyone, the way I feel about you." When there was no reply I started to freak out, until I realized that she was breathing a little heavier. "Bella?" I whispered.

The girl I had just professed my love to had fallen asleep in my arms.

**He loves her! My Esme reminds me of my friend's mom. Good thing she has no idea FF exists. Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews! I respond to everyone who does. I'm maxandmo on ****Twitter.**


	28. Subconscious Love

**Thanks to all of my loyal readers. Sorry for the longer than usual updating speed. I was totally emo because my oldest started kindergarten today! **

**On a different note, I won second place in the Trailer Trash Cullen Contest. Check out my story, Septic Love. It is hilarious if I say so myself! **

**Thanks to my beta, secretobsess7. She is a constant source of support and I am ever grateful to have found her!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns them.**

**~Chapter 28~Subconscious Love~**

**~Bella~**

"Cheers," Alice and I said at the same time, as we clinked our shot glasses and downed the godawful drink that she had ordered.

"There, Bella. That should take the edge off and make it easy for you to butter up Laurent."

"I sure as hell hope so. That tasted like gasoline. _You_ need to schmooze him, I just need to encourage him to listen to you," I said, while sucking down a Pepsi.

"Alright, let's grab a table. There's some kick ass band playing tonight, so this place is going to be packed," Alice said as she grabbed my hand.

I felt the numbing burn roll through my body as the shot started to take effect. I couldn't help but wonder what 'kick ass' band would be playing at a Mexican restaurant, but also realized that I didn't really care. I just wanted to see my federale, and if I had to fawn over Laurent to make Edward happy, then by golly I would do it.

Laurent walked over to greet us the minute Alice and I sat down. "Hey, girls! You both look gorgeous tonight," he said, as he grabbed our hands, placing a kiss, first on Alice's and then on mine.

"Thanks, sweetheart. I had such an exhausting day cutting hair, I just needed to relax. We are doing a 'hair-drive'. It's like a blood drive, but with hair. We take all of the hair we get and send it to be made into wigs for kids with cancer. I'm almost winning, I just need a little bit more. We get extra points for ethnic hair," Alice said, as she batted her eyelashes at Laurent.

"Alice, Alice, Alice. Whatever shall I do with you? Are you heavily hinting that I give you my ethnic hair?" Laurent flung his dreads over his shoulder with a laugh.

"Well, it is for a good cause. I can hold your hand while she does it," I said in a flirtatious tone.

"Bella, do you promise? I couldn't possibly do it alone. Besides, my lady friend has been begging me to get a haircut. I can make her happy, and also get to have you girls pay me extra special attention," he said with a smile. "When should we do this?"

"The sooner, the better," Alice answered anxiously.

"What she means is the drive ends soon, and I can't wait to hold your hand," I lied.

"Oh, and can we do it at your place? I want to surprise my co-workers with my last minute, secret, ethnic hair." Alice looked proud of herself, and I made a mental note to remind her that there wasn't really a contest going on.

"Sure," he said, as he leaned towards me to give me a hug. He grabbed my hand and whispered into my ear that he would see me tomorrow.

It was harmless and purposeful flirting, but when I saw the look on Edward's face, I could tell he wasn't the least bit amused. I was working so hard to secure the 'haircut' and my sharpness had been dulled by the shot, so I had no idea how long he had been sitting there. He looked like he was going to explode at any moment, so I kicked him under the table to show him that I was aware of his presence.

He seemed to visibly relax, and I couldn't believe how jealous and possessive he was acting. The crazy thing was that instead of being a turn-off, I loved the fact that he wanted me as his own.

Dinner was great, and I couldn't help but revel in the fact that I had such a fuck-awesome group of friends, to include my boyfriend. I only hoped that no one did anything stupid to fuck up the perfectness of our three couples. We all got along great, and everyone was blissful relationship wise.

Esme Cullen. What can even be said about her? She was a fucking riot. Well, she was a riot to those who did not have her as a mother. Edward was mortified, and rightfully so. I, however, found her so extremely amusing. I could only imagine how she, and my own mother, would make such a ridiculous pair. If it wasn't for his striking resemblance to Carlisle, I would have sworn that Edward was adopted.

'A mother know's best' is a popular phrase for a reason. I hoped it was true since she told me that Edward loved me. Granted she was wrecked, but a girl could dream.

I bolted upright in bed and noticed that I had beads of sweat on my forehead. My dream came back to me immediately. In perfect vivid recollection, three humungous Mariachi singers were shooting me the moon and chanting that they loved me over and over. Weird. I could understand thinking about their 'moons' since Carlisle's Los New Mooners shirt was fresh in my head, but them telling me they loved me was creepy.

I looked over at Edward, who happened to be in a deep sleep. I crawled over him, got out of bed, and went to the bathroom. My head was pounding and I wasn't sure if it was from the music or the tequila; perhaps a little bit of both. I popped a few ibuprofen, peed, and headed back to bed.

I snuggled up next to my federale, who was lightly snoring. I knew I was a complete goner since I found it cute and not annoying. I ran my hands up and down his bare back reveling in his toned and warm body.

I couldn't believe he was mine. We had spent a lot of time together, and yet I hadn't found any flaws that were even worth mentioning. I spent a lot of time as of late trying to figure out what I had done to deserve such perfection. Some people went their whole lives never experiencing the feelings that I had for him.

As I had my hands on his body, my deep and raw emotions came to the surface, and I felt a teardrop roll down my cheek. I was so blissfully happy, and completely and utterly in love with him. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go without telling him. Maybe it was old-fashioned of me, but I didn't want to be the one to say it first. Well...I didn't want to be the one to say it first when he could hear me.

I leaned up to his neck and placed a soft kiss at the base of his jaw. "I love you," I whispered into his ear.

I fell back asleep with an exuberant feeling of contentment.

The sound of Edward talking on his phone woke me up. I glanced over at the clock and saw that it was morning, and it wouldn't kill me to be early to work. Edward ended his call and glanced over at me with a smile.

"Morning sunshine," he said with a smirk. He knew I hated mornings.

"You are too damn cheerful," I responded.

He was looking at me intently and I wondered what he was thinking. Shit, did he hear me tell him that I loved him? I mean he would know sooner or later, if he didn't already. I felt like my feelings poured out of my body when we were together, and I assumed he could tell.

I didn't want him to relive the nightmare that was his mother, but I had to tell him about my dream. As I got to the 'I love you' chants, he stared at me with a smile.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. What would be so bad about a bunch of Mexican men loving you? Well, besides the fact that I would have to kick their asses," he laughed, and moved in to hug me. "I have to get to work if I want to meet you at Laurent's on time."

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and loaded up his work gear. I couldn't help but gaze at him. His hair was wet from a shower, and he was wearing jeans with a tight fitting t-shirt. He strapped his holster on his waist, and threw on a button down shirt to cover it up. I could feel wetness pooling in-between my thighs. All I could think was that I would gladly be arrested by him anytime. I would definitely have to bring up the notion of role playing into our relationship.

He was one piece of fuck-hot federal agent.

xxxxxxx

"Alice, remember, you have to take a long time on his hair so I can snoop around," I said in a lecturing manner.

"I know, Bella. How many times are you going to remind me? Get out of work mode, I'm not one of _those _people. I understand." She was definitely annoyed with my nagging.

"Sorry. I just know how important this is to Edward. Personally, I think he's grasping at straws, but we will see."

"Well, if nothing else, it's a little extra cash for you, Al." Rose was picking at her perfect nails and looked a little bored.

"Thanks for coming with us, Rose. There's nothing like a little girl time," I said to her.

"I'm all for for girl time, but I mostly can't wait to see you cut through the dreads," Rose said with a smile.

"Let's roll!" Alice exclaimed, as she got out of the car.

We followed her like baby ducklings. As we walked up to the door, it was opened by an ever expectant Laurent. He was smiling and looked happy to see us, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for what we were really there to do. I kept telling myself that if there was nothing to hide, then it was no big deal. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, or however that saying went.

Laurent's house was shabby looking from the outside, but surprisingly tidy once we stepped inside. He ushered us inside with a huge but nervous smile. I could definitely feel a female presence in the place and then remembered that his girlfriend lived with him.

"You didn't think I'd miss out on this, did you?" Rose said, as she patted him on the back.

Laurent sat down in a kitchen chair, while Alice placed a cape around him, and Rose sold him on the 'super cream' for his face. I was looking around like a maniac as I tried to spot some purple money.

As I was slowly moving away from them, Laurent grabbed my hand. "Bella, you promised, remember?"

"You got it," I said, as I pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

I _did_ promise.

Alice grabbed a dread lock, and held it up in the air. She eyed it wearily, as if it was a snake that was ready to attack. I could see that she wasn't real sure what to do. My first instinct was to grab a kitchen knife and just chop the sucker off. I guess that wasn't politically correct for a licensed cosmetologist though.

Thankfully, Rose had his face covered in the mud mask so he couldn't sense Alice's apprehension. I looked at her and nodded. She needed to start somewhere. She quickly stuck her scissors in the middle of it as if she was trying to stab it to death.

"Alice, it's not alive," I whispered to her.

She flipped me off and continued to saw...chop...cut...and finally...one fell to the ground with a thud.

"Fuck yeah!" she exclaimed with a fist pump.

Laurent squeezed my hand so hard I yelped. Rose rolled her eyes, and Alice grabbed a hold of another one, starting the process all over again.

As I was watching the tedious operation, it hit me that she should have just used clippers and shaved his head.

"Laurent, do you have any clippers?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. They're in my bedroom. It's the last room on the right," he said, as he pointed down a hallway.

Alice and Rose were staring at me like I was an idiot. "Do you think that just maybe clippers would be a little faster than what you're doing?" As if _I_ was the idiot or something.

"Fine," Alice muttered.

I walked into his bedroom and saw the clippers on his dresser. His room was littered with a woman's clothing. I noticed a pair of shorts that had 'Seattle's Finest' written on them, which cemented in my head that he was a law abiding citizen.

I was frantically looking for something suspicious, because I didn't want to take too long getting the clippers. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, so I turned around to walk out of his room.

In my haste to leave, I tripped over an apron that was on the floor. I knelt down to take a closer look and saw that one of the pockets was bulging. I reached inside and pulled out a gigantic wad of cash. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, especially when I saw the purple dye all over it.

I took a bill off of the top and put it in my pocket, and then I shoved the rest back in the apron and pushed it under the bed. My hands were shaking as I brought Alice the clippers. I surely had beads of perspiration on my forehead. She looked at me and could tell that I had found something. I didn't know if I should sneak Edward a text, or make up an excuse and leave.

Rose looked at me in a panic. She was wiping off the mask, which meant that I really had to act normal.

I was mulling the options over in my head when the front door flew open. I looked up and was shocked and confused when I saw Tanya standing there. She was frozen in place, as she glared at the three of us with equal confusion.

Before any of us could utter a word, Edward walked up right behind her.

**Just a little cliffie. Things are going to get a little angsty from here on out. I'm sure I'll manage some funny too...that's easier.**

**I respond to all my reviewers! maxandmo on Twitter, Maxandmo Fanfiction on FB**


	29. Revelations

**Thanks to secretobsession7 for being the bestest beta ever! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! You make this worthwhile:) Obsmama is now my pre-reader! You can blame her in the posting delay. She had some very helpful suggestions to make this chapter better!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all of this. **

**~Chapter 29~Revelations**

**~Edward~**

As I listened to Bella tell me about her dream, I was amazed at the fact that my telling her I loved her was then incorporated into her subconscious in the form of fat Mexican men chanting it over and over. I was more than amused, however, I did know in my heart that she needed to hear it from me. The next time I told her, I was going to make sure that she was sober...and awake.

As I walked out of Bella's room, I saw Alice squatting in front of the T.V. "Good morning, Edward," she said obviously out of breath.

I first thought she was looking for something, but then I heard a man on the television giving instructions about how that position was imperative to gaining the 'tightest tush'.

I don't know how he did it, but for five minutes straight I was sucked into watching a man on television doing 'the Brazilian Butt lift'. It was hypnotizing, but I guess that was the point. I heard a throat clear behind me, which was what finally broke the trance I was in.

"Edward, you're ass is just fine the way it is," Bella said from behind me.

I had no words to explain how or why I was so wrapped up in the butt lifter. The man was a genius. I left Alice to her squatting, and went to Bella.

I wrapped my arms around her and did a secret sniff of her delicious hair. "Your ass is fine too," I said, as I grabbed a hold of it.

She giggled and then gave me a perfect kiss on the lips. We went into the kitchen where Bella whipped us up some eggs. I didn't usually eat too much for breakfast, but I was loving the extra time with her before work. It was hot watching her cook me breakfast.

There was a knock on the door, to which Alice yelled her usual 'come in'. "It must be Rose," Bella said, in-between bites.

Sure enough we heard Rose's laughter. She walked into the kitchen in hysterics.

"Fuck you. Just wait until I have the most kick-ass ass!" Alice screamed from the other room.

That only made us all laugh. Rose demanded some eggs, and Bella pointed to the refrigerator. It made me proud to see her stand up for herself.

"Edward, when's your next appointment with me? You're looking a little shaggy." Rose had a devious gleam in her eyes, and I could tell she was trying to embarrass me.

Bella was looking at me, waiting for my answer. "Rose, be quiet, or I'm going to have Emmett _whip_ your ass," I responded.

"Touche," she said.

Before our banter could get out of control, Alice sauntered in. She spun around and looked like a cat that was trying to catch its tail. She was obviously trying to get a good look at her new and improved ass.

"It looks great, Alice," I said. To which I was met with a flick to my ear from Bella. "What? Oh, not like that. Come on, I'm innocent." I flashed her my most dazzling smile.

Bella reached out and smacked Alice's ass, which made her yelp. "Feels good to me. I'll see you girls after work."

She grabbed her bag and walked out the door and I followed. She was parked a couple of cars ahead of me, and when we got to my car, I pushed her up against the door and ravished her mouth. I mean, I was going to be without her all damn day. She pushed against me after a few precious minutes of making out.

"Edward, I have to get to work. How the hell am I going to concentrate if you continue to get me all worked up?"

"Alright, alright. I just can't get enough of you, beautiful. I'll be waiting outside of Laurent's, and when you're done, you are all mine. Remember to text me if you find anything," I yelled to her, as she walked away.

Bella turned and flashed me a thumbs up sign, and kept walking.

My whole work day concentration was ruined by my mind constantly running through different scenarios on how to tell her that I loved her. I was driving myself nuts. I talked to Yorkie about it, which in turn drove him nuts to boot. Fuck, I had turned into one of those annoying people who only wanted to talk about their wonderful, beautiful, sexy as hell, awesome girlfriend. Ugh. I could ask myself what had happened to me, but the answer was clearly obvious. Bella had happened to me.

I just wanted the time to be perfect. You would think I was planning to ask her to marry me or some shit. Just letting my mind drift to how I would do that made me break out into a sweat. I needed to calm my ass down, I was even getting itchy, and had possible hives. One step at a time for crying out loud. I needed to get a grip. I was having an entire conversation with myself inside my head. I guess that was better than talking to myself out loud.

I skipped out of work and headed over to see my parents. I needed a distraction, and who better than them to give me one. When I pulled in both of their cars were in the driveway. I figured my dad must have either worked the night shift, or had the day off. Either way, I was thankful for the buffer. My dad was like a Valium to my mom. His presence calmed her ass down a little.

I opened the unlocked front door and walked inside. I continued through the foyer into the family room. The television was on, but I didn't see either one of my parents. I didn't want to yell out in case my dad was asleep, so I continued into the kitchen. As I turned the corner, I was stunned and absolutely mortified as I saw a bare ass that belonged to the person whose body was bending into the fridge. I was frozen in place with my mouth hanging open. The fridge slammed shut and my father stood upright, with a can of whipped cream in his hand, and the big fucking sombrero on his head.

"Hey, Edward," he said, as he took the sombrero off of his head and placed it in front of his other 'head'. "What brings you around in the middle of the afternoon?"

_Are you fucking kidding me? My father was buck ass naked holding a conversation with me, as if it was normal._

"Oh, um, I just wanted to make sure mom was feeling okay," I lied.

"Yep, she's a champ. She actually feels _really_ good," he said as he waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

_What the fuck? Kill me now._

"Okay, tell her I stopped by," I said, as I turned around to race out of there as quickly as possible.

"See ya, Edward. Have a great afternoon. I know _I_ will," Carlisle said with a chuckle.

"Bye, Edward," my mother yelled, from where I think was the dining room. "Tell Bella I want to go shooting this week."

I was _never_ going to eat on that table again.

I drove straight to the gym and worked out in hopes of clearing my head. The visual of a whipped cream afternoon delight was troublesome enough to help my mind evade the 'I love you' issue.

Retail therapy was next on my list. The minute I walked into the mall I felt a calming effect take over. I had serious issues. The first step was admitting it; therefore, I convinced myself it was completely normal for a straight male to seek out shopping after walking in on his naked father. As if _that_ was normal in and of itself!

I grabbed a pair of t. t. harman dark wash jeans, and an obsmama t-shirt, they were all the rage in L.A. It sometimes drove me nuts how Seattle was so far behind in the fashion world, seeing as we weren't really _that_ far away from the City of Angels.

I then headed into the women's section. I found a pair of aviator sunglasses that were going to look awesome on Bella. They would be perfect to wear on my bike. I couldn't help but notice a conductor's hat on top of the mannequin's head, so I took it off and headed to the register. I felt better already.

I wished I could head over to Bella's so I could give her the presents. I was a love sick puppy for fuck's sake. I not only wanted to give her the stuff I bought, I also was craving a quick sniff of her hair and a boobie grope...or two. I figured she was already gone, but I drove to her apartment anyways. I parked in front of the building, threw my 'FBI Official Business' sign on the dash, and ran inside. I knocked and knocked, but obviously no one was home. My heart fell, and I felt like a jackass since I already seen her hours before.

I pulled away and passed Bella's Escort. I probably wouldn't have noticed, but it was horribly parallel parked on the street. My heart lurched and I felt like a total tool bag. It was a fucking car, and an awful one at that. I stopped next to it, got the bag with her gifts in it, and got out to see if she happened to leave it unlocked. The back passenger door was unlocked, so I grabbed a pen and scribbled a note on the bag, and left it on her front seat. I locked all the doors, and headed to Laurent's.

As I pulled across the street I spotted the girls getting out of Alice's car. I could see that Rose had her cream, Alice had her scissors, and Bella had my heart, I mean the jacket I bought her on. _Fuck, I was a cheese-dick. At least I kept my thoughts to myself most of the time._

I was anxious, which in turn was making me fidgety. I needed to relax since I had no idea how long they would be inside. I tried taking a couple of deep breaths, but I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that I was having. I played with my phone, contemplated playing with myself, and ended up back to obsessing over how to tell Bella how I felt. I decided I was going to tell her when we got home. In the end it didn't really matter _how_ I told her, just _that_ I told her.

I wasn't really using my stellar surveillance skills and almost missed seeing a woman walking toward Laurent's house. She seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't see her well enough from where I sat. I quietly got out of the car and moved closer, staying out of her line of sight. She continued to walk toward the house and was nearing the front door.

I found myself trailing behind her before I knew it. She was walking slowly and carrying a bag of what looked like groceries in front of her. The gentleman in me almost asked if I could help with them, but then remembered that I was actually following her and that would be awfully creepy.

I remembered the girls saying that Laurent had a girlfriend, so I assumed it was her. I hoped he warned her about the three girls that were currently in the house. I wasn't in the mood to break up a cat fight. I continued to watch her and trailed behind so that she didn't see me. This wasn't the best of neighborhoods, and I didn't want to freak her out.

When she reached the door she dropped her keys, and as she bent down to pick them up I inhaled a deep breath. She looked familiar because it was fucking Tanya. Before I knew it, I was headed right towards her. What in the hell was she doing there? And what the hell was she doing there with groceries? Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. She was there because that's where she lived. The fact became obvious as she opened the door and walked inside.

She paused in the entryway long enough for me to catch up, until I was standing right behind her.

"Tanya?" Rose questioned.

"Hey, baby. This was supposed to be a surprise," Laurent said from his chair.

"It sure the hell is!" she shouted. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Um, hi Tanya," Alice said, as she held a dread lock in her hand.

"Wait, you girls know each other? All of my girls in one room! I couldn't ask for a better way to lose my hair." Laurent was absolutely clueless.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she shouted at Alice, while pointing at Bella and Rose.

"Honey, you wanted me to get my haircut, and Alice kindly offered as part of the ethnic hair drive at her work. Rose just gave me a facial and Bella just came along to hold my hand." Laurent was still sitting in the chair while Alice hacked off another dread lock.

From where I stood, I could hear Tanya start to breathe erratically and noticed that her hands were shaking.

"You!" she said as she gestured to Bella. "You fucking ruined everything, you whore. Now you're trying to ruin this too?"

Tanya suddenly dropped the bag of groceries and clutched her stomach in agony, dropping to one knee. Rose, Alice, and Bella stared at her with wide eyes. If I wasn't mistaken, I thought I saw tears glistening in Bella's eyes. If Tanya wasn't in pain, I would have kicked her ass for hurting Bella's feelings. I looked at Laurent, who had genuine concern etched on his face, along with what I suspected was remnants of the 'super cream'.

Tanya cried out in pain, and I went to her, at the same time Laurent did. She turned around and looked at me with wide eyes. "Edward?"

"Edward? You are _that_ Edward? The one who broke _my _girl's heart? I can't believe you have the audacity to step foot in our home. I need you to leave...now!" Laurent spoke in a quiet rage as he continued toward us.

"You came to my house with _her_. How much crueler could you possibly be?" Tanya was struggling to speak, and I refused to leave her in such pain.

"Tanya, I didn't know you lived here, I swear."

Laurent was looking at me with distaste as he put Tanya's arm around his shoulder and helped her to her feet. As she stood upright, she raised her eyes to mine, and I couldn't help but notice that her once flat stomach, was now not so flat.

I stood next to her dumbfounded. I had so many questions, yet I couldn't find my voice. She was taking deep breaths, as she continued to look at me. I looked at her from head to toe. How could I have missed the signs? Was I so wrapped up in Bella that I didn't even notice? I heard Alice say something from across the room, followed by Rose. It was then that I noticed fluid seeping through her pants onto the floor. Laurent picked up the phone and called 911. I felt like I was underwater, when I heard him speak.

"My girlfriend is pregnant, and is cramping and short of breath...oh, no...there is some sort of fluid soaking her trousers," he exclaimed frantically. "No, no blood," he answered to who I assumed was the operator.

He hung up the phone and ushered for me to help him bring her to the couch. We picked her up and laid her down carefully. She was looking at me with embarrassment, almost as if she was pleading with me to understand what what going on. I had _no_ idea what the fuck was going on.

She was obviously a few months along, which meant that it was my baby. She was pregnant with _my_ baby, and in pain because of it. Just hours earlier I had obsessed about how to tell a girl I loved her, and now I was going to be a father. Reality struck me hard,as I watched her continue to struggle in pain. The pain was my fault. Because of me, she was hurting once again. I had to make this right, if only I could figure out how.

I was so fucking pissed at Tanya for keeping this from me. I had every right to know. What kind of person does that? I knew that if she would have told me sooner, I would have stayed by her side. I mean, fuck, she she could have been killed at the restaurant, and I wouldn't have even known she was pregnant. She waited so long to tell me, that during that time I had fallen in love with someone else.

Tanya was not the person I thought she was. The Tanya I thought I knew would have never kept a baby a secret from its' father. She would have never led another man to believe that he was the father of a baby that couldn't possibly be his. I had no idea exactly how far along she was; she wasn't that big. If she had been wearing a baggy shirt, I probably still wouldn't have noticed. I was completely disgusted with her. It didn't matter if we were still together or not. She was a total bitch for keeping this from me.

I all of a sudden felt sick to my stomach, as I realized for the first time that _my baby _was at risk.

I heard a muffled sob and looked over to see Alice and Rose with their arms around Bella. I could tell she was also in pain. All I wanted to do was go to Bella, but I was pissed, but not heartless. As much as it hurt me, and for the sake of my unborn child, Tanya's pain had to come first.

After several awkward minutes, that felt like hours, we heard sirens outside. Laurent reluctantly left Tanya's side to meet the paramedics at the front door. They rushed inside and made their way to her, and I stepped out of the way. Laurent rushed back to her side, and was holding her hand and rubbing her hair. It genuinely looked liked he cared about Tanya a great deal.

I felt as if I was on the outside looking in. Tanya was placed on a gurney and they were pushing her out of the house. I was snapped out of my self-pity in an instant, as I followed behind. As she was lifted into the ambulance with Laurent next to her, I realized that they were planning on leaving me behind.

"I'm coming with you," I firmly stated.

"You have no business here anymore!" Laurent shouted.

"She's carrying _my_ baby. That makes it _my_ business!" I exclaimed back.

"What are you talking about? You need to leave," Laurent stated confidently.

"We need to go. Gentlemen, I don't know what the problem is, but we've got to get her to the hospital," stated the paramedic from in front of us.

Laurent shot me a pointed look, and got into the ambulance. As I tried to follow, the paramedic stopped me with his arm and told me that only one person was allowed to go with her.

I watched the ambulance pull away with lights and sirens blaring. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Alice. "C'mon, Edward. Let us take you to the hospital. You're in no shape to drive," she stated, as she guided me to her car.

I looked to see Bella and Rose already standing next to it. My body took me right into Bella'a arms. As she engulfed me in a secure hug, I felt a sob escape from my body. Her body shook with anxious tears, as we continued to seek comfort wrapped up in each other.

"Oh god, Bella! I am so sorry! I had no idea." I continued to sob, while uncontrollably rambling apologies. "How could she keep this from me? What am I going to do? What if something is wrong with the baby? I am so sorry, Bella. I was so wrapped up in you...in us, that I didn't even notice something like this. How could I have been so blind? It's totally my luck that I find someone I am completely and utterly in love with, and then _she_ is pregnant!"

"I love you too, Edward. It will be okay. Things are going to be okay," Bella said with a slight lack of conviction.

We got into the car and she continued to hold onto me. After all the obsessing I had done, I told my girl that I loved her in the midst of a crisis; a life changing event. I was having a baby with a girl I didn't love, yet the girl I did love was sitting by my side holding me together.

So many questions were swirling around in my head. How could she have kept this from me? Was my baby going to be okay? Did Laurent really care about her enough to raise someone else's child? Did she really expect me to be okay with someone else raising my child?

Alice pulled up to the emergency room doors, and Bella gave my hand a squeeze. I locked eyes with her and told her that I loved her. I got out of the car, and as I walked into the hospital, my last selfish thought was that Bella loved me too. It only made me feel worse about the situation I put her in. My heart was elated, yet my mind was in turmoil.

As much as I loved her, I had to be there for my baby first and foremost. I was going to do every last thing possible to make sure my baby was given the utmost attention and care that it needed. My baby deserved to come first, not me, nor Bella, or even Tanya. I was a man on a mission, and I had to take control of a situation that had been kept from me for far too long. I felt as if I had already missed a part of my child's life; I vowed to miss no more.

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	30. Baby's Mama Drama

**Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! I am so excited that this story has passed 500 reviews! You rock! My beta is secretobsession7, and my pre-reader is obsmama. I flove you both!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns this. **

**Chapter 30~Baby's Mama Drama**

**~Bella~**

I had hit the jackpot, as far as purple money was concerned. As fast as my anxiety over the situation dissipated, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Tanya was the last person I expected to see at Laurent's, or should I say _their, _front door. I was shocked enough that she lived there and that she was his girlfriend, let alone the fact that she had a little baby bump.

When I saw Edward behind her, I was confused, but, as always, happy to see him. Tanya made it quite clear that they did not arrive together. I figured he must have seen her walk to the house and followed her. He looked shocked, and I was sure his wheels were turning as well.

Learning she was Laurent's girlfriend and pregnant was shocking enough, let alone the fact that I just found tons of purple money in what was surely her apron. I needed to find a way to tell Edward so he could figure out what to do.

Before I got the chance, Tanya clutched her stomach in obvious pain. Edward went to her, and so did Laurent. I wasn't going to lie, it hurt seeing him comfort someone who used to be such a big part of his life. I also couldn't help but wonder if he knew about the baby.

When I saw his face, as he looked at her from her head to her feet, I realized that he was just as surprised as the rest of us. I felt tears run down my face as I saw the anguish that he was experiencing. The emotions that he was radiating were clear. I saw disbelief, anger, worry, sadness, and confusion written all over his face.

He was staring at her belly, and then to Laurent, and back at Tanya. I saw his brow furrow, as he was no doubt trying to calculate how far along she was. She wasn't very big, but big enough that we knew she was pregnant. A fact that was confirmed when Laurent called 911 and explained the situation.

I wanted to comfort Edward so bad. It was taking all of my self control not to just rush over to him and put my arms around him. It was heartbreaking to see him furiously tugging at his hair. I could tell he didn't know what to do and what his place should be.

They made it quite clear that he was not welcome in their home. Not to mention the fact that Tanya was less than pleased to see me. It amazed me that she thought we were so cruel we would purposely show up at her place together.

The more I thought about it, the more I became angry and disgusted with her. It had to be Edward's baby, yet she was acting like he had no business there. What kind of person would keep that fact a secret from the father? Edward always spoke highly of her, but all of my knowledge of her was negative. The way she freaked out on him in public, the way she trashed his condo, and how she kept the baby a secret from him spoke volumes. She was a nasty bitch.

I hoped with all my heart that it wasn't Edward's baby, but everything he said about their relationship, and her despair over their break-up, led me to conclude that it was his. She had acted like an immature idiot, but there was no reason to think she had been cheating on him. I couldn't let myself get my hopes up.

I could see the nervousness on Edward's face and then the anxiety when he realized that the baby was at risk. He no longer looked so angry, but instead heartbroken. I couldn't help but respect the fact that he moved past his distaste for Tanya and only thought of his baby. It made my love for him deepen; though I honestly felt sick to my stomach at the fact that some other woman was carrying his child.

The ambulance pulled away and I was ever grateful for the support of my friends. They took control and managed to comfort not only me, but Edward as well. Alice took charge and drove us to the hospital.

Edward's needs had to come before mine. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure he knew I would be there for him. It broke my heart to see him so emotionally raw and vulnerable. If Tanya wasn't pregnant, I would have beaten her ass. I guess if she wasn't pregnant then the whole thing wouldn't have been happening, but I still felt like kicking the shit out of her. It would just have to wait until she had the baby. I wasn't sure how Edward would feel about me beating the fuck out of his baby's mama, but it was something I felt she had coming.

Oh hell, baby's mama was a term I was all too familiar with at work, and now I was using it to refer to my boyfriend. A boyfriend who I loved with every ounce of my heart and soul; I knew without a doubt that he was the one for me, baby or no baby.

As if he could read my mind, he told me he loved me, no, that he was completely and utterly in love with me. I couldn't say it back fast enough. They were words I longed to hear, and yet I was trying to convince him, and myself, that things were going to be okay.

Edward and I were in our own little world when we arrived at the hospital. I was doing my best to comfort him, and stay strong, when all I wanted to do was completely break down and sob. He gave me one last look, squeezed my hand, and headed inside. He didn't ask me to come with him, but I understood completely. There was no need to upset Tanya further, whether she was a nasty bitch or not.

xxxxx

I awoke to the hushed voices of Rose and Alice. They were trying to figure out how to get me out of the car. It made me grin when I heard Rose tell her to just leave me there, and Alice in turn call her a bitch. The grin was wiped off of my face when their discussion went to the situation, and I don't mean that dude from Jersey.

Rose was convinced he would have never left Tanya if he knew she was pregnant. She went as far as to say that maybe they could work things out, whatever the fuck that meant. Alice was convinced that we were meant to be, it was just too bad. Again, whatever the fuck that meant. I planned on eavesdropping for awhile, but I sneezed and alerted them of my awakening.

I could tell they were nervous that I heard them talk about me, because they kept rambling on and on about dumb shit, all the while sneaking not so sneaky glances at each other. I gave up a few uh huhs, and they left me alone on the walk to the apartment.

I tried to go straight to my room when we got inside, but they cornered me like two mother hens and forced me to eat a bagel. Yes, forced. Rose sat next to me with her hand firmly on my shoulder, while Alice tried to make up a contest on who could eat the fastest. I finished it, not because I felt hungry, but because I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had eaten anything.

Alice's cell was ringing and as she grabbed her purse, a gigantic dread fell out and thumped to the floor. I let out a giggle snort as Rose gasped.

"What the hell, Alice? You needed a souvenir?" Rose questioned.

"Yes ma'am. I mean it was my first time sawing through dreads, so I kept one as a memento. Laurent also stuffed a wad of cash in here somewhere," she said, as she dug through her entirely too large satchel. "Here we go." She pulled out a big bundle of money and waved it at Rose and me.

All of my senses came to life, and I grabbed for the money. She tried to pull away, but must have seen the look on my face, and relented. I opened the bundle with furious movements, and felt sick once again when I saw that some of it was marked with purple. Rose and Alice were as surprised as I was.

In all my emotional turmoil, I had forgotten all about the money I found in Tanya's apron. I pulled some bills out of my pocket and laid them on the table for the girls to see.

"Um, yeah, I forgot all about this when my boyfriend's baby's mama went ape shit."

Alice's phone rang again, and when she saw it was Esme her eyes lit up and she answered it, "Hey, girlfriend!" They talked for a minute and then she handed the phone to me with a not so quiet whisper. "She wants to talk to you, Bella. I wonder why? Do you want to talk to her, or should I tell her you're not here?"

I grabbed the phone, as I obviously had no other choice. My head was spinning to begin with, and I wondered why she was calling.

"Adios." Had I lost my fucking mind? I just greeted her goodbye in Spanish.

"Bella, dear I think you mean _hola, _but I appreciate your attempt to learn my language."

_Oh my lord, her language? Did she now consider herself an honorary Mexican because she was President of a fan club? She was the one who used adios wrong in the first place. Gads!_

"Oh, pardon me. Hola, Esme," I dryly said.

"Dear, we are going shooting tomorrow morning, and I won't take no for an answer. I called your office and talked to that lovely Irina. She said that it will count as practice, and that you are able to come to work after lunch because of it. Tell Alicito that I canceled my color appointment, so she has the morning free as well. I'm coloring my own hair instead. That little firecracker needs to learn how to protect herself. Alright, the timer buzzed. I have to rinse the dye out of my hair. That husband of mine was supposed to do it, but he left for the hospital in a hurry."

With that, she cheerfully yelled 'adios' and hung up. What a nightmare. I hadn't even thought as far ahead as tomorrow, and now I was going shooting with Edward's mama...err...mother and _Alicito_. She obviously had no clue about Tanya, and it wasn't my place to tell her.

"Well, what did she want?" Alice looked so excited.

"The three of us are going shooting tomorrow. She called my work to get me excused, and is dying her own hair so you will be free too."

Rose was wide eyed and trying not to laugh.

"Fuck yeah!"

"Glad you're so excited, Alicito."

Rose broke down and was in complete hysterics over Alice's new name. "It's really too bad I won't be able to see this! Just think of it this way, Bella. It's a good distraction, and you'll be able to get out some of your frustrations."

"I'll worry about tomorrow...well, tomorrow. We need to figure out what the fuck to do tonight."

"Alright, let's think about this. Laurent gave you purple money as change, and you found more inside his house. It seems pretty obvious to me. Alicito, what do you think?" Rose questioned, with a not so straight face.

"Bella, where did you find the money?"

"In an apron in _their_ room. It had to be Tanya's since Laurent doesn't wear an apron to work."

"Shit mother fucker!" With that exclamation, Alice ran into her room and I heard a lot of shit flying around and drawers slam. She returned in record time, and I almost fell the fuck over.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?"

She was dressed in a black leather, or maybe pleather, outfit that was skin tight. She looked like a dominatrix acrobat. The thing was a onesie...err...one piece outfit. There was a black scrunched up beanie on her head, and she was wearing tall Doc Martin black boots.

"Don't I look hot?" she asked as she twirled around. "Jasper has a thing for Catwoman, so I was going to surprise him with this get up." With that revelation, she gave the beanie a tug and covered her head and face with a mask. She looked just like Halle Berry and Michelle Pfeiffer from the movies. Well, _almost._

Rose let out the loudest snort ever, and her body was shaking with hysterical laughter. "Oh my god, you're a freak!"

"Giddy up. We need to get to the bottom of this nonsense." Alice was way too excited.

"I'm going to pass. I'm sure Emmett is wondering where I'm at."

"Rose, come on. We are like those three Angels, or the Charlie's Musketeers. Oh, fuck it. You know who I mean!" Alice threw up her hands in frustration.

"Fine, but mostly because I want to see peoples' reactions to your fucked up costume. Let me call Emmett."

Rose ended up on the phone with Emmett for like ever. She explained what happened with Edward, and it was all I could do not to run and hide as I heard it recanted. It made me sick to my stomach all over again. I was ever thankful for Alice, and her many distractions up until that point. Rose hung up the phone and looked at me with such pity; it was disgusting and discouraging at the same time.

We had no real plan. I guessed it made the most sense to go back to the scenes of the crimes. In this case, the scenes were the Italian restaurant and bank. I conferred with the girls and it was decided to go back to Laurent's instead. The bank was closed and we figured we'd save the restaurant for another time. We knew that no one was home at their house, and again I felt like someone punched me in the gut.

I wanted to call the hospital, but knew that was useless because of the pain in the ass called HIPAA. I wanted to be with Edward, but knew that I had no business there. It wouldn't be right, especially since Tanya was in distress. If nothing else, I hoped he could feel my presence with him. I continued to second guess giving two shits about Tanya, however it was about the baby, _Edward's baby._

We decided to take my car; mainly because it was dark and we were going into a not-so-nice area. Alice wasn't going to take those kinds of chances with her Audi. Rose drove an F-150 pickup truck, so there wasn't really much room. We could have fit, but there was no need to bring any unwanted attention upon ourselves when we were about to scope out a house.

Alice gave me shit about not changing into more appropriate clothes for our snooping. I told her to eat shit, since this was what I wore to work anyways, and we headed to my car. I was pretty much in a daze on the walk, and it wasn't until I heard Rose yell that I snapped out of it.

"Fuck me!" I took off running after a guy in a hoodie who had just gotten done fucking up my car.

I ran and ran, but he had too much of a head start. I stopped a few blocks away huffing and puffing and cursing myself for being so out of shape. I was hunched forward with my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath.

"Well, hello Officer Swan," a creepy, but familiar voice said from behind me.

I slowly turned around and was face to face with James. I hadn't seen the creepy bastard since I met with him in the county jail. I looked around and noticed that it was just the two of us in the otherwise deserted street.

"Um, hi James. Staying out of trouble?" I was hoping that my voice hid my nervousness.

He snickered and responded, "Something like that. You look hot when you're all sweaty. Why were you running?"

"Well, I'm _hot _because I was running. I was chasing after some dude because he was screwing with my car."

He had the nerve to hit on me...again. Things were getting increasingly awkward, and I could only wonder what he was doing so close to our apartment. I was so thankful that he didn't see me walk out of it. I didn't want him to ever know where I lived.

"It's always a pleasure. I better get back to my friends," he said as he grabbed my hand and held it in a lingering manner. "You shouldn't chase guys at night all by yourself, especially without your gun." James winked, let go of my hand, and walked toward a group of guys that were waiting for him in a pimped out car that I hadn't noticed.

I stared at the car as it sped off and was struck by the form I saw huddled in the back seat. As we made eye contact, he pulled up his hood and smirked.

"Bella, holy shit. Are you okay? Did you catch the guy? Where is he?" Alice was babbling and spinning around in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the bad guy. She was wielding a brush in one hand and a flat iron in the other.

"He got away, Alice." I just stared at her 'weapons'.

"What? You can fuck someone up with this shit," she explained.

Rose pulled around the corner in my car. I wondered how that was possible since I was holding my keys. When she drove closer I stared at the Escort in awe. What the fuck? There was graffiti all over it. I could make out some SER lettering and also the words 'bitch' and 'whore' were proudly displayed. Upon closer inspection, one of the side windows was shattered.

Rose stopped next to us and told us to get in. We gladly obeyed, and jumped in the back seat together.

"Um, Rose? Since when do you have an extra set of keys to my car?" I tentatively asked.

"Bella, do you really want to know? Some things are better left unsaid," she stated as she drove off.

"Rose, I am really not in the mood for bullshit. Just fucking tell me!"

"Fine. I hot-wired it. Happy? It's an old family trick that's come in handy many a time. Emmett thinks it's the hottest thing ever," she responded with pride. "Oh, and before I forget, I found this." She tossed a bag back to me. "I never thought I'd be driving an old lady car, let alone looking like a goddamn chauffeur while driving it."

I felt my heart swell as I looked at the bag. There was no mistaking the beautiful, elegant handwriting. As I read Edward's little note, I felt the weight of the day suddenly converge. Tears were filling my eyes, and I was starting to hyperventilate. I opened the bag with shaky hands and pulled out an awesome hat and even cooler sunglasses. I put them both on like a zombie, and held the empty bag that simply stated, 'For my beautiful girl' to my aching chest.

As if our souls were connected, I felt the phone in my pocket vibrate. I pulled it out and read the text from Edward.

**I love you**

Those three words meant everything to me, yet I had no idea what they actually meant at that moment. I knew he had to still be at the hospital, and I wanted to know how he was, and what was going on.

The floodgates of emotions came crashing down, and I let it all out. I cried for Edward, for his baby that was in distress, and because of the impending doom I felt because of it. I now knew he loved me, but would it be enough for him to stay with me instead of being with his new family?

Alice put her small hands around my body in an attempt to comfort me. I loved her for it, though it wasn't helping. I started shaking and was having a hard time catching my breath. My car was fucked up, which made me wonder how they knew it was my car in the first place. I knew creepy James didn't happen to be in the area accidentally. This was proven when I saw the 'hoodie' guy in the same car as him. I made a silent vow to start carrying my gun everywhere I went.

We got to _their _house and Alice exited the car all ninja like, or I guess it was actually all pussy like. She looked ridiculous. When all of the craziness was over, I was going to send an email to Dog the Bounty Hunter asking if he needed any more helpers. She would surely fit in with that clan.

Rose 'accidentally' shoved the door open, and we went inside. I could so get fired for something like that, but I really didn't give a shit at that point. I only wanted to get to the bottom of the purple money since Edward wasn't there to do it himself.

A quick search revealed nothing more than what I had already found. I did come across an FBI sweatshirt, which I knew did not belong to her, so I took it with me. She didn't deserve to have anything else of _his. _We hurried up and got out of there before we got caught, and walked back to my graffiti covered grandma car.

Rose took off when we got home, and Alice was doing her best to keep me occupied. I appreciated her efforts, but they just weren't working. It didn't help that Jasper was calling or texting every five minutes. I overheard her say something about canceling their reservations, and learned that they were supposed to go to a comedy club; how funny. I forced her out the door, and told her I needed to be alone. She was happy to oblige as she threw on some 'regular' clothes over her costume, and left.

After my anxious ass cleaned my room, sorted through bills and receipts, and rearranged my closet, I knew I had to do something to keep my mind off of Edward, and the fact that I hadn't heard from him again.

The girls had made me promise not to do any further investigating without them, but they weren't much help in the first place. Something just wasn't right. I looked at the clock and realized that if I hurried, I could make it to the Italian restaurant well before it closed. I had no idea what I was looking for, but needed to do something. If all else failed, I could at least enjoy a cannoli.

I was so emotionally exhausted and didn't think I had any tears left. I looked like someone punched me in the face. My eyes were swollen and puffy and my nose was a constant red. Thank god for the sunglasses Edward bought me. I was worn out and more than a little slap happy. I took one look at my car and laughed until it hurt. What the fuck? I was actually going to get in and drive it around.

I checked my phone like an obsessed freak waiting to hear anything at all from Edward. I saw that I had three missed calls from a number I did not recognize. I called back but got an automated voice mailbox. I hated when people did that.

The parking lot of the restaurant was pretty full. It was nice that business was booming, even after a hostage situation that resulted in death. Perhaps it was because the bad guy was killed and not a patron. I straightened up my hat, smoothed out my clothes, and headed inside. I was instantly struck by how nice the place was. I settled in at the bar with my face partially hidden by the hat. I was suddenly very self conscious of my appearance.

I ordered a beer and then headed to the bathroom on operation look presentable. I heard an annoying voice yell my name from behind me. I was afraid to turn around, as I wasn't in the mood for small talk. I considered ignoring them, but it was just too obvious. As the voice got closer, it was all I could do not to cringe...and then run.

"Well, hello Ms. Swan. Fancy seeing you here," Lauren Mallory said as she looked past me. "Who are you here with?"

Of all the people I could possibly run into.

"Hi. I'm waiting on a friend," I lied.

"Are you okay? You look a little...um...blotchy." She was staring at me intensely.

"I'm fine. Just allergies."

"I've left you several messages but you haven't called me back. I owe you an apology. I was so focused on reporting a hot story, that I was totally obsessed with you. I kept getting all these anonymous calls and then I sort of started following you. I still can't believe what bad luck you seem to have. Anyway, my boss moved me to the 'Modern Mother' segment after I got my hair cut, so that's why you haven't seen me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. It's a good thing I found someone new to obsess over." She looked behind her and I almost fell over when I saw who was sitting there.

Creepy James smirked at me with a small wave. I wasn't sure if Lauren had a mind to begin with, but she had surely lost it if she was obsessing over James. I wondered if she realized he was a criminal. Before I had a chance to comment, I felt my phone vibrate, and as I looked at it my heart did a flip when I saw it was Edward.

"I have to take this. Later, Lauren."

I answered the phone with a shaky hand, and before I could speak, I heard the voice of my green-eyed god. "Beautiful. Are you there?"

"Hey, how are you? How's everything?" I had no idea what to say to him.

"Bella, I need you. Can you meet me at the hospital?" he pleaded. He sounded so drained.

"Of course, you know I'd do anything for you. I'll see you in a little bit."

"Okay. Love you." He hung up and I rushed back to the bar to pay my tab.

My phone rang again, so I answered almost immediately.

"Officer Swan? It's me, Riley. Riley Xavier. I have information that you need to know about."

"Riley, are you okay?" I could barely hear him over the noise in the restaurant. I grabbed my things and headed outside, hoping that I wouldn't lose the connection. "Riley? Are you there?" I was met with silence. Shit. I hoped he was okay, and couldn't help but wonder what it was that he wanted me to know.

"Officer Swan," came a voice from behind me.

Chills ran up and down my spine, as I knew that Riley was suddenly standing behind me, and had called me on my personal cell phone.

**I know...another cliffy. I have to keep it interesting. **

**I respond to all my reviewers. Follow me on Twitter: maxandmo, or Maxandmo Fanfiction on Facebook. Thanks for reading!**

**Tuesdays are my new favorite days. It's Twi fic trivia night on Twitter. We have so much fun! Follow: twifictrivia and check out her blog for more information. **

**I have written two O/S. One is funny and the other is durty...read read read:)  
**


	31. Baby's Daddy Drama

**I want to thank my pre-reader, obsmama, for always coming up with things I hadn't even thought about. I want to credit Agrutle for choosing Esme's wild hair color, and Dinx219 for always being so supportive. Susayq has agreed to be my beta (thanks for reading all 30 chapters in about a day!), and secretobsession7 for everything! A special thanks to lotusblosm for introducing me to this world!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything to do with this.**

**~Chapter 31~Baby's Daddy Drama**

**~Edward~**

As we entered the hospital, I followed close behind the gurney. It was mass chaos. Apparently, there had been a bad accident on the highway which resulted in a bunch of bloody people clogging up the ER. This in turn resulted in me being grossed the fuck out. I had no idea how the hell my dad spent so much of his time in the place.

My Dad, the only person who I felt could help me calm down and could explain what was going on in layman's terms. I needed someone, and since it couldn't be Bella, I decided to call my father.

I called my dad's cell and was relieved when he answered. "Hey there, Edward. How's it hanging?" _Fuck, did he really just ask that? _

""Dad, I'm at the hospital. I..um..I was wondering if you could meet me here?" I was sure he could tell how shaky and unsure my voice sounded.

"Sure, Son. We'll be right there. What's going on? Are you okay?"

"It's Tanya." My voice cracked, trying to hold in my emotions. "Can _you_ just meet me?"

"Oh, Edward. I was hoping it was just a big misunderstanding. I'll be right there. Your mother is indisposed at the moment anyway."

_What the hell did he mean? What misunderstanding? And why did he always feel the need to let me know when they were getting it on? Fuck, they're freaks!_

I loved my mom, but honestly didn't feel like dealing with her at the moment. She always meant well, but I was sure if she knew what was going on, she would either be a hysterical mess, or start beating this shit out of Tanya, and me.

Esme had been preaching safe sex since before I even knew what sex was. It wasn't above her to leave condoms in my room; once even stuffing them in my backpack. She was going to string me up by my nuts, I was sure of it.

I was pacing, trying to stay away from the bloody people, and keeping my eyes glued on Tanya and Laurent. He looked like a nervous wreck, and in any other situation I would have felt bad for him. Fuck him. I was the one who had the right to be nervous. I could tell he cared about her, and he was welcome to have her; after she gave me my baby.

Oh my God. It was the first time I let myself think about what would happen after the baby was born. There was no way some fucker was raising my kid. The only fucker that I wanted to be anywhere near the baby was me. I just thought of myself as a fucker. I was definitely cracking up, and I didn't mean laughing. I guess the biggest concern was _if_ it was born. _If_ it was born, I would raise the kid myself. I didn't know shit about babies, but I would learn.

I could feel my resolve crumble as they rushed Tanya past some of the waiting bleeders in a hurry. I felt the wetness of tears run down my face, and I quickly followed them. I saw the nurses push the gurney into an elevator that was just about to close when I got to it.

I stuck my foot in the entrance to get the doors to open back up. The look of shock on the nurses, as well as Laurent's face, was unmistakable as I walked into the elevator.

I could see the nurses glancing at each other in confusion.

"Edward, why are you here? You're not wanted or needed. Go back to your new life with your new girlfriend," Laurent stated in frustration.

"I'm not leaving when my baby's at risk!"

"That's where you're mistaken. It's not your baby, it's mine!"

"What are you talking about? I have no idea how far along she is," I said motioning toward Tanya. "But we were obviously together then." Why was he not understanding me?

"Edward, please. Just go away," Tanya moaned.

"Tanya, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"

One of the nurses was telling me to calm down and made the mistake of grabbing my arm. It was bad enough her name tag read 'Susay Q', but worse that she was butting her nose in where it didn't belong.

I shrugged her off of me and she fell backwards into Laurent. He shoved her off of him and charged at me. At this time the nurses were in the middle of the two of us, trying to keep us apart. I was trying to get to him, and in the process of trying to grab his shirt, I found myself holding onto a thick, disgusting dread lock. Though I was grossed out, I held onto the fucker for dear life, all the while trying to pull him to me. We were grappling in a small elevator, but the anger I felt left me unable to stop it.

I yanked on his hair like a fucking chick and felt him coming toward me. As I felt my body move backwards, the elevator door opened and Laurent and I spilled out into the middle of the maternity ward.

We were rolling around on the floor, and all I wanted to do was beat the fuck out of him. I could hear women screaming and the words 'security' and 'police' repeated from afar. I landed a punch square to his jaw and my hand felt like it was on fire. He swung wildly and connected with my eye. I realized that I was bleeding, which only fueled my rage.

The next thing I knew, I was being grabbed from behind and pulled off of him. I tried like hell to get away until I heard my father's voice. "Edward! Son, he's not worth it. Think of your career; all you stand to lose and all you've worked for. Calm down. This is not how your mother and I raised you."

With those words, I realized that my father was right. I took some cleansing breaths and tried to calm myself down. When I looked at my hand, I saw that it was swollen. I could feel blood running down my face, and when I looked to my other hand, I saw that I was still holding onto the disgusting dread lock, though it wasn't attached to Laurent anymore.

I looked over to Laurent who was being detained by hospital security. My father gave them a wave and ushered me down a corridor, presumably to his office. I threw the door open with a bang, but not before some obvious stares from hospital staff.

"Son, sit the fuck down. I understand you're freaking out, but do not embarrass me in my place of work." Carlisle rarely swore at people, so I knew I had better settle down.

"I'm sorry, Dad. This has been an un-fucking-believable day." I hung my head in defeat.

"Care to fill me in?"

I gave him the basics and he listened intently. When I finished, he remained silent for a bit, and I could tell he was deep in thought.

"First of all, your mother would be kicking your ass for falling for that 'I'm on the pill' bullshit. Secondly, and I mean no disrespect, but why in the hell would that man be acting like you were crazy in thinking the baby is yours, unless there could actually be a chance that it is his? I mean, did it ever occur to you that she could have slept with someone else? Oh, and one other thing...please tell me Bella knows that you love her."

I sat there staring at him with my mouth hanging open. The thought of Tanya sleeping with someone else while we were together sickened me. It was something that never even crossed my mind. Was it so naive of me to believe that when two people were in a committed relationship, they were monogamous?

"I swear I saw her take her pills. Apparently not every single day."

As I sat there thinking about the possibility of Tanya being promiscuous, it dawned on me that she had plenty of opportunities. I trusted her blindly. That, and the fact that I never in a million years thought she would cheat on me.

"Son?"

"Holy shit, Dad. I have no idea how far along she is, but when I think back, she would go out after work a lot. She got home really late quite a few times, but I didn't give it a second thought. When school picked back up all she did was go to study groups. Her study partner was a dude named Lamont." Lamont. It wasn't Lamont at all. Laurent was his name. Laurent, the same guy who was bleeding all over the maternity ward. "How could I have been so fucking stupid? It _was_ Laurent!"

My hands curled into fists as I felt such intense rage and anger run through my body. I flinched as pain radiated once again through my hand.

"We need to get you some ice for that hand, and probably a stitch or two for your eye. You need to promise me that you will control yourself. Obviously Tanya hasn't been one hundred percent honest with him either."

My father was correct because Laurent thought he was the father. Short of an immaculate conception, it had to be because he slept with her too. I went over my father's words in my head. It struck me as strange that he wasn't all that surprised when I called him.

"Dad, what did you mean when you said that you had hoped it was a misunderstanding?"

"Remember the day when we first met Bella at your house? Well, when you and I stayed downstairs and your mom went upstairs, she found a pregnancy test in the garbage. That's why she made us leave the minute she came downstairs. I think she reeked of your cologne for like a week. We didn't know what to make of it. Why do you think your mother acted so strange when she saw Bella drinking? She realized that Bella obviously wasn't pregnant. We hoped it was a false alarm, I guess."

He was looking at me with concern, but I was grateful it wasn't disappointment.

"Dad, why didn't you tell me? I had no idea, and then out of nowhere she's holding her stomach in agony and I notice that it's not totally flat anymore. I mean, shit, if you had told me, I could have at least confronted her and not been so damn blindsided."

I felt so betrayed, not only by Tanya, but my parents as well. How could they have kept that from me? Though the more I thought about it, it wasn't their place to tell me. I was pacing so intently, I'm sure there was a wear mark in the carpet in my father's office. My head was spinning, but I started to think of Tanya, and all of the little signs that I had clearly missed.

They way she hid herself from me in the locker room after the shooting, the way she uncharacteristically trashed my condo, and the awkward manner in which she spoke to me were all out of character. Not to mention, the frumpy way she had started dressing. Pregnancy was not even a distant thought.

"Son, she hid it from you on purpose. Don't you dare blame yourself for not picking up on it," he stated as if he could read my mind. "And Bella?"

Before I could respond, I pulled my phone out and texted her the words that I knew to be true. "She was in tears and so obviously upset. Come to think of it, I never even asked her if she was okay. She was so supportive of me when I felt my world crashing down. I had never let anyone see me so vulnerable, and yet I didn't think twice about leaning on her. I stressed out all day about how to share my feelings with her, and they just sort of poured out of my soul in the middle of it all. She loves me back, Dad. She loves me, and now is stuck smack dab in the middle of all this bullshit. It's totally not fair to her! She shouldn't have to deal with something like this so soon." I once again grimaced in pain after attempting to clench my fist.

"Edward, why don't you leave that decision up to her. You believe that you love her, and I hope you realize that it's not something that comes along every minute. Just remember that she feels the same way. Now let's go get you checked out." He suddenly paused and pulled put his phone.

"Dad?" My father was staring at his phone with an amused look on his face, yet struggling not to laugh out loud.

"Oh, um, sorry Son. This may be inappropriate, but I think it may get your mind off of things for a couple of minutes." He handed me his phone so I could take a look at the picture text.

"I just love that woman," he said as he let out a chuckle.

A picture of my mother was displayed on his phone. She was wearing a cowboy hat with some sort of suede vest. She had a bandana tied around her neck, and from what I could see, her hair had a very purple hue to it, which matched the bandana almost perfectly. I mean it was like eggplant purple. I found it very strange, though not entirely shocking, considering my mother. What made me gasp and blush was the text.

**Save a horse, ride a Cullen...b ready to giddy up!**

My mother had apparently gotten a lot better at texting.

"Dad, really? That was supposed to make me feel better?"

xxxxx

My dad smiled at me and motioned with his hand for me to follow him.

After receiving three stitches to the corner of my eye, and getting x-rayed, I knew it was time to face Tanya head on. My dad called security and told them to release Laurent to the ER doctors so he could get checked out.

"Good luck, son. Remember to stay calm." The warning didn't fall on deaf ears.

The walk down the hallway seemed to take forever. Perhaps it was because I was walking at a snail's pace. My dad was right; I needed to stay calm. It wouldn't help Tanya, or _the_ baby any if she was upset.

I stood at the entrance way to her room quietly watching her. She looked nervous and was fidgeting like crazy. She picked her phone up with shaking hands and started texting. I walked further inside and she raised her eyes to meet mine. I could see fear in them, which was unsettling, seeing as I would never physically harm her. Why would she think that? She stuffed her phone under the sheets in an obvious attempt to hide it from me. Did she real think I gave a rat's ass about who she was texting? She was fucking pregnant!

"Edward, you're still here." _Thanks Captain Obvious._

I could feel my annoyance with her threatening to explode out of me. "Tanya, cut the bullshit already. Do you honestly think I would be anywhere else?"

"I thought maybe you would still be with your _new_ girlfriend. Or wait, is she here somewhere?" She was acting like a total bitch, and still attempting to avoid the whole thing.

As if any of this was Bella's fault. Apparently, she was still blaming Bella for the demise of our lackluster relationship.

"Seriously, Tanya? Laurent is all over your ass, and you have the nerve to ask about Bella? She is fine. _We_ are fine. Now please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Edward, it's not _your _problem...not anymore." I was getting frustrated as fuck.

"Just because we are not together anymore, does not make it less of my business. How long have you been fucking Laurent behind my back? You had the audacity to be pissed because I said someone else's name, yet you were the one screwing someone else! How could you do that? Things may not have been monumental with us, but I never fucking cheated on you!"

I was taking deep breaths in an attempt to lower my voice. I had already created enough of a scene, and I knew my father could only do so much before my face was plastered on a wall with a big red slash though it.

"Edward, it just sort of happened. I didn't plan it, and thought it would be a one time thing. You just didn't seem to give two shits about where I went or with whom. I must have told you like a thousand times I was studying with a guy. Mostly to get a reaction out of you. I don't even think you heard me. And all those nights I went out after work, well you never even asked where I went or who was there. I work at a restaurant with a fuck-ton of guys, and still you never met me out, or even questioned when one of them would call or text." She was actually laying in front of me acting like it was my fault.

"Why the hell didn't you say something instead of playing games? I'm not a mind reader, and I'm sorry if I wasn't giving you the attention you seem to need. That still didn't give you the right to get that attention from someone else! Fuck! You said you were on the pill. Was that just a lie too?" I was not going to stand there and let her try and convince me that it was my fault she slept with someone else. "How did this happen, Tanya?" I mean, I knew how it had happened, but how could she be so careless?

Fuck. She had slept with someone else without protection. I had no idea where that someone had been, and now I put Bella at risk too.

"Edward, I swear I took my pills practically every day!" she shouted. "Do you think I wanted this to happen, like I planned it or something?"

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to think when you're out sleeping with every Tom, James and Harry? Oh, I mean Laurent." I was being a dick, but I didn't give a fuck. "How old are we? _Practically_ every day. Come on." It was all I had not to call her a dirty whore.

"Edward, I _swear _I didn't plan this. My pills ran out and when I went to refill them the pharmacy was closed. I only missed a few days. I honestly didn't think it would be a big deal. I mean, I skipped pills here and there and nothing ever happened before."

"Tanya, you are seriously fucking with my life here. Am I the father?" I was holding my breath as I waited for her to answer.

"I'm so sorry, but I honestly have no idea." She then silently started to cry.

"What? What are you saying? You said I was this child's father. Tanya, I let you move into my home. We were supposed to be a family. I just don't understand." Laurent was standing behind me, and then slowly inched his way into the room. He had heard everything she had said to me and was absolutely devastated. "Tanya, please tell me this is your way of getting back at Edward. Please tell me that you're stringing him along and it's my baby. Please," he said as he let out a sob. "You told me you didn't sleep with him anymore!"

I gave them one last glance as I walked out of the room. They definitely needed some privacy. I pulled out my phone and called Bella. Not only did I need to tell her that she should be tested for STD's, but I needed her to be with me. I longed for the smell of her hair, and I wanted to hold her close. Mostly, I just wanted to feel her presence, and look into her eyes as I told her I loved her once again.

I found a pretty comfortable chair in an out of the way waiting area. I settled in to wait for my girl to show up.

"Dude, wake up. Do you have any fucking idea how long I've been looking for your ass? Don't you have your phone on you?" Emmett looked like a crazed man. He was furiously pacing around and it wasn't the best way I could think of to wake up.

Fuck, I had fallen asleep on a chair...in the hospital. The day's events came crashing to the forefront immediately. I picked up the phone and saw that I had several missed calls and texts. "Sorry, Em. I guess I passed out. What are you doing here? Where's Bella?" I asked as I looked around the room.

"That's why I'm here, bro. I was hoping she was with you."

"Wait, what? What time is it? She said she was on her way when I talked to her last. Fuck, that was hours ago." I frantically dialed her number and was immediately met with her voicemail. "Emmett, what the fuck is going on? Where is she?"

xxxxx

Before he could answer, I heard my name being paged over the intercom throughout the hospital. I was being requested immediately in the maternity ward. I got up quickly and rushed past Emmett. He met my eyes and followed closely behind.

**A/N Sorry for the slight delay in updating. Yes, a cliffy…again…but things will be resolved soon. I have a new beta, and I also wrote two O/S for contests. Take a look at the entries in the All Hallows Eve contest. I'm sure if you read some, you'll figure out which one is mine. Voting is open until October 15****th****. I respond to every one who reviews! maxandmo on Twitter and Maxandmo Fanfiction on FB. **

**TwiFicTrivia: this game has made Tuesday my new favorite day of the week. It starts at 9pm, so follow her on Twitter and read the blog for more information! **


	32. Confessions of a Gang Banger

**Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, and/or saves this as a favorite! I truly appreciate it! I love my betas, susayq and secretobsession07, and my pre-reader obsmama is awesome! You can all thank lotusblosm for introducing me to this world in the first place:)**

**Stephenie Meyer owns this.**

**~Chapter 32~Confessions of a Gang Banger**

**~Bella~**

I slowly turned around to greet Riley. My heart was about to beat out of my chest, and my body was shaking with anxiety! I knew it was no coincidence that he knew where I was, just as it was no accident that he called my cell phone.

"Riley? What are you doing here?" I hoped my voice didn't give away my fear, and it led me to wonder if criminals could smell fear like animals.

"Listen, Isabella there isn't much time. We've got to get out of here. I really need to talk to you, but no one can know. There are some bad ass dudes after you." He was fidgeting and looking around like a lunatic. I wish I would've brought a piss test with me, because he looked deranged and totally fucked up.

"First of all, don't ever fucking call me Isabella again. We're not friends, and don't forget that. Secondly, how the hell did you get my cell number?" I was going to kick someone's ass; starting with the fuckers at At&T.

"Sorry, I'm just on edge..fuck..we need to get out of here." He looked around the parking lot and stopped when he noticed one particular car. "Fuck. He's already here."

"Who, Riley? What's going on?" The more agitated he became, the more frightened I felt.

Riley reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me with him behind a bush on the side of the building. I heard a couple of people exit the restaurant, talking and laughing. I made a move to peek at them, but Riley clamped down on my arm so hard I couldn't move. I was ready to bitch at him, and he must have sensed it, because he placed his hand over my mouth, silencing me.

By instinct, I kicked backwards connecting with his shin. "Swan, stop fighting. You need to stay still and be quiet," he whispered.

I was in such turmoil; I didn't know what the fuck was going on. Who was bad, and who was good? Was the bad guy holding me against my will trying to be good? It was so fucked up.

The couple got closer, and I felt Riley take a deep breath. Dread filled my veins, as I realized it was James he was so afraid of. I held my breath and hoped that he would leave without seeing us huddled behind the bush. It was so unnerving that Lauren had herself draped all over him.

"Shit, where did that bitch go? We just saw her walk out here." I could see James looking around with the angriest scowl on his face.

"Jaaaames," Lauren whined. "Can't we just go to your place? I'm feeling a little frisky, if you know what I mean."

"Lauren, shut the fuck up, if you know what's good for you," he spat.

"You know what? I don't need your shit. I can find someone else who would love to take me home." Lauren was glaring at him defiantly.

He roughly grabbed her arm, and I felt Riley tense up. James proceeded to push her up against a random car in the parking lot. He tore the front of her blouse, exposing her lacy bra. I could see the look of shock on her face and desperately wanted to go to her. James began to ravish her mouth and started grabbing her breasts. Lauren's arms lay limp at her side, and I thought I saw tears running down her face, but couldn't tell for sure.

James continued his rough barrage of affection, and she started to punch and claw at his back. He pulled away from her angrily, grabbing her hair and spinning her away from him. "You like that, bitch? Don't ever fucking talk to me like that again, and never ever try to fucking fight me. Do you hear me?" I saw him fumbling with his zipper and was horrified. I totally felt like I was going to hurl.

I looked over to Riley and pleaded with him with my eyes. We couldn't just stand there and let James force himself on the girl. Lauren wasn't my favorite person, but no one deserved to be treated like that.

"I don't like it either, but if he sees me with you we're fucked." Riley was sweating profusely, and I could tell he wasn't sure what to do.

I tried to break free and run, but Riley's hold on me was too strong. James forced Lauren to her knees, and I felt bile rise up. I turned my head and vomited into the bushes. Lucky for Riley, he was smart enough to pull his hand away from my mouth. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to me. I wiped my mouth with it, only hoping that it wasn't full of boogers.

I couldn't believe that the parking lot was so deserted. I was praying for someone to walk out and help her. "Rliey, please!" I croaked. "We just can't stand here."

"You're right. This isn't right. I know better." He started whispering the serenity prayer to himself, and I hoped it meant he was ready to beat some ass. I was studying the intense concentration on Riley's face, and then turned my attention to Lauren and James when I heard him yell again.

"Ow! You fucking bitch." James slapped Lauren hard across the face and she stumbled backwards. "Motherfuck! You bit my fucking dick!" James was standing up holding his now limp dick in his hands. He brought his hand up to his eyes and we could tell it was covered in blood.

Riley let out a deep breath and let go of his hold on me. He charged toward James and I followed close behind. "Riley, what are you doing here? What a nice surprise. Take care of that bitch. She fucking bit my dick Bobbitt style. Riley?" James was confused when Riley made no move toward Lauren.

"You're a piece of shit. You don't own me, motherfucker." Riley punched James square in the jaw forcing him to fall backwards because of the constricting pants around his ankles.

I snapped out of the urge to go kick him in his bloody peen, and went to help Lauren. She was sobbing, and I felt terrible for her. "Lauren. Lauren, get up. We've got to get you out of here."

She complied, and Riley gave James a swift kick to the ribs before turning away and running toward us. I left my car in the parking lot, and the three of us piled into Riley's tricked out car. I felt like a gang banger, and as bad as I wanted to giggle, it really wasn't funny. I was in a gang banger's car, heading to hell knows where.

"Riley, we can't just leave him there." Not that I wanted help him, but I didn't want him to get away. I pulled out my phone and called the police. I wanted him to suffer for what he did to Lauren. My next call was to Sam. I explained everything that had transpired and assured him that Lauren would make a police report the next day.

As long as Lauren made a statement, and since I had witnessed the attack, it shouldn't be that hard to get James sent back to prison. Not to mention, further charges would be filed against him. Riley's statement wouldn't do much good seeing as he was a felon, and it would also be tough to convince him to make one in the first place. It didn't make a criminal popular to be the rat. It was best just to leave him out of it.

Lauren was still sobbing in the back seat. I turned around so that I could see her as I spoke to her. "Lauren, it's okay. The police are going to lock him up. All you have to do is make a statement to them and his PO tomorrow, and he won't be able to hurt you again."

Lauren looked up at me. "Are you fucking crazy? He's my boyfriend. We just had a fight. Thanks and all, but I'm fine. I just hope I didn't hurt his family jewels too bad. That would be such a shame."

Are you fucking kidding me? The girl was attacked, bit his dick, and now was worried about him. Without her statement, there wouldn't be a new case against him, and it would also make it pretty damn hard to send him back to prison. My statement was one thing, but Lauren could always act like she was a willing participant in some sort of rough sex game. If anything, he'd be sent back for such a short time it would hardly matter.

"Lauren, you _do_ know he's on parole, right? That means he has been in prison. P-R-I-S-O-N." I thought that if I spelled it out for her, she would understand me better.

"I know, but he's rehabilitated. He's got a job and everything. He must make a lot of money at that restaurant, because he buys me all kinds of things."

I wanted to climb in the backseat and shake some sense into her. He clearly wasn't rehabilitated. Something about her rambling wasn't sitting right with me; besides the fact that she was going on and on about him.

"Lauren, where does he work?" I knew the answer before she confirmed it.

"At that restaurant, duh," she said, as she rolled her eyes at me. She looked like Tammy Faye Bakker with the gobs of mascara spread all over her face. No matter what I felt about her mental capacity, she was a victim, and I only hoped she would realize that for herself someday.

"Officer Swan, I really need you to listen to me."

I turned to Riley, who I almost forgot was there, though he was driving. I was so wrapped up in Lauren's naivety; I failed to pay attention to where he was taking us.

"Go ahead," I gestured with my hands for him to begin.

"James is a bad dude. He is capable of just about anything, as you saw tonight. Ever since I got out he's been pestering me to join the gang, even though I told him I really didn't want to. Since my first day in prison, I swore to my parents and myself that I was never going back. You have no idea what that place is like, especially for someone so young. It's awful. Anyway, I knew James back in the day and ran into him when I got out. He hasn't left me alone since."

Lauren was unusually quiet in the backseat. She was fidgeting in her purse but had stopped crying. I was listening to Riley, and I felt bad for him. I mean, I knew James was a shit head, but I guess I didn't realize he'd been pestering Riley.

"Riley..."

"Please, let me finish," he interrupted. "Remember when I got the shit kicked out of me? Well, that was him and his 'friends'. They said that if I agreed to be one of them, that it would count as my initiation. If not, it was just the first of many I could expect, not to mention the threats to my family. I didn't know what to do Ms. Swan! I have a little sister. I really wanted a fresh start; I just didn't realize it would be so hard." He took a deep breath and continued.

"When he found out you were my PO things only got worse. I'm sure you didn't think anything of it, but ever since he saw you in the jail he was obsessed. Then when you pepper sprayed his guy in the park, it just intrigued him more. He said you had spunk, and he liked it. It seemed like you showed up everywhere. He's warped and felt it was like a sign or something; like you were meant to be."

"Holy shit. Riley, I had no idea things were so tough on you! Why didn't you tell me?"

I thought he was doing so well, and I couldn't help but feel like a failure. Maybe if I had paid extra attention to him it would have helped. The fact of the matter was, I had too many parolees on my caseload. It was like an assembly line of criminals coming across my desk. There was too much paperwork and too little time to actually get to know all of them. The fucked up thing was I felt like I knew Riley better than most.

"Well, you were so nice to me and really believed I could make it out here. I didn't want to let you down, and I also knew you'd be pissed about James. Not to mention, you would've kicked my ass for playing along with him, and I'm sure you would've tried to talk me out of it. It wasn't until he saw you with that FBI guy that his obsession turned into fury. I figured if I acted like I was on board with him, I could be the one designated to fuck with you. So I played along; I acted like I hated you. I led him to believe that I hated you as much as him so he wouldn't feel the need to bother with you himself. I found out where you lived and told him I was watching you. I also left all those messages on your voicemail, and when you left your phone at that dude's house, it was perfect. I was supposed to have GPS installed so James would know where to find you when the time was right. I threw your phone under your desk when you weren't looking."

"Wait a minute. How does he know about the FBI guy?" I was totally freaked out that they so much about my personal life.

"Someone he works with heard him talking about you and told him. I'll get to that part in a minute." Riley had his fists clenched and was getting frustrated by my interruptions.

I felt like a complete dip shit. I had no idea James had even given me a second thought. It did explain all the threatening phone calls, and the creepy feelings of being watched. Things were slowly starting to piece themselves together.

"Riley, go on," I encouraged.

"Okay, so you do realize what happened where he works, right?" He didn't wait for me to answer his question, instead continued with his revelation. "That wasn't a coincidence. James wasn't interested in legitimate employment. He was only working at the restaurant because his PO demanded that he hold a job."

"Oh my..."

"Swan!" he cut me off, and continued. "Well, he was fucking around with some chick that also worked there, and they came up with the idea to rob the joint one night when they were out drinking. He chose his little cousin to prove himself by being the one in charge, then he had that girl come in on her day off to get the ball rolling. He was 'working' at the time, and was just about to play his part when his cousin went all gangster and took her hostage. Imagine his surprise when he saw your dude come in and carry her out of the restaurant, while his cousin was lying dead on the floor."

I was sitting there in awe. "Tanya," I muttered.

"He was planning on doing something horrible to you, just to screw with the FBI dude. It was like all of you were out to get him, especially the FBI."

I couldn't believe my ears. None of this could be proven, and it was so unbelievable, yet it made total sense. "Oh my god. Edward. I have to get to Edward." I was talking out loud to myself and my head was spinning. Edward had no idea that the possible mother of his child was involved in any of this.

"Officer Swan, that's still not all of it. I need you to come with me."

I finally took a good look at where we were parked. We were in the middle of the ghetto, smack dab in South End Rider territory. I looked in the rear view mirror to see Lauren picking at her fingernails, obviously bored. She was clutching her phone which I found a bit odd, and though she had stopped crying, her makeup was still smeared all over her face.

"I don't care what you two think, James is totally obsessed with _me_. Why do you think he got so excited in the parking lot? He just wanted to be with me so bad; he couldn't wait until we got to my place." The tone of her voice sounded like she actually believed what she was saying about him.

Riley and I were speechless. She just heard his entire rant, and yet she failed to believe any of it. There really wasn't any use in either one if us trying to convince her otherwise at that point. We looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

"We have to hurry in case someone shows up. It's James's apartment, but he barely ever stays there. He basically uses it as a front for his PO. I was here earlier and didn't lock it when we left to go fuck up your car. Oh, sorry about that, by the way."

I just stared at him. I was out of things to say, but I swore to make the fuckers fix the Escort as some kind of community service, or help your PO day.

My nerves were frazzled, and felt like I was in over my head. No one knew where I was, and for all I knew, we were walking right into some sort of trap. I hoped I wasn't naive and just plain stupid for trusting Riley.

Lauren wanted to wait in the car, but it took her only about a minute to change her mind once she realized what part of town we were in. Riley led the way, and Lauren and I walked briskly to keep up with him.

Riley quickly opened the apartment door and ushered us inside. Once Lauren and I took a look around, she snapped right out of her boredom.

"Whoa!" was all she could get out of her mouth.

A bulletin board was prominently displayed in the living room. Newspaper articles were plastered all over it, and as I moved closer, I could only stand frozen staring at it. There were several about me, many articles about the local bank robberies, and the one that stood out was smack dab in the middle. It was a picture of Edward carrying Tanya out of the Italian restaurant.

"Miss Swan, I told you he was obsessed," Riley said from behind me.

"Riley, have you ever heard James talk about that girl in the picture?" I was crossing my fingers in hopes that he knew the depth of Tanya and James's relationship.

"He used to talk about her all the time. He said she was a hot piece of ass that he worked with. I know they used to hang out a lot after hours. He said she used to be a real fun girl, but that lately she was a naggy bitch and boring as hell. After he paid her what he promised, he said she got real clingy, so he hadn't been returning her calls."

Lauren had her phone out and was typing like a mad woman. I stared at her long enough for her to realize it. Without lifting her eyes from her phone she asked why I was staring at her.

"Lauren, who are you texting?" I was worried that she was telling James where Riley had taken us.

"I'm not texting anyone now, Bella. I'm typing up a story so I can email it to my boss. This is going to be huge for me." She was smiling to herself and still had failed to look away from her phone.

Riley told me to hurry up and look around the rest of the place, so that's what I did. The living room was littered with bottles and ashtrays, and the entire apartment held a lingering smell of marijuana. Besides the messiness, nothing was too out of the ordinary.

I walked into the back bedroom, which was empty, less a bed, and made my way to what I thought was the bathroom. I tried the door, but it wouldn't budge. I slammed into it a couple of times and realized that I had been watching too much TV. It didn't even budge. I was definitely going to sign up for some Kung Fu. The karate kid probably could've blasted through the fucker.

I felt above the doorjamb and one of those long, skinny key things fell down. That was an old trick my dad taught me; never ignore the obvious. I easily unlocked the door, stepped inside, and was completely overwhelmed by the smell.

The entire bathtub was filled with bricks of marijuana, which made for one hell of a strong odor. They were stacked about waist high, and above them was a window that I noticed was cracked open. I couldn't even imagine what it would've smelled like if it was shut. I needed to move quickly before I scored a contact buzz.

The bathroom was average in size, and looked like it was barely used because it was pretty clean, besides the dope that was in the tub, of course. The toilet seat was even down. I opened the linen closet and was shocked to see that it was totally stocked with all kinds of shit. There were boxes of all sorts of baby things; diapers, wipes, and formula. It looked like someone had taken a trip to Costco recently. You could probably take care of ten babies judging by the size of the boxes.

I shut the closet and walked out of the bathroom. I was in there awhile and could hear more voices from the living room area. I figured Lauren must have called in her camera men or something. It wasn't until I heard her scream, and the sound of a definite tussle, that I knew something wasn't right.

I felt an adrenaline rush as I quickly retreated back into the bathroom. I locked the door, and was anxiously looking for something to stick in front of it. My eyes flew to the linen closet, so I quietly opened the door and yanked at the case of formula, thinking it would be a perfect door stop. My yanking worked, as the box wasn't nearly as heavy as I thought it would be. When I maneuvered it out of the closet, I saw that it had already been opened. Curiosity got the best of me as I peered inside. There was no formula to be found...only money. Bundles and bundles of money were rubber banded together and stuck in the box.

The hairs on my entire body were standing up in fear, and I was covered with goose bumps. I needed to get the fuck out of there somehow. Looking up at the window, I realized it was my only option. I took a deep breath and said a prayer, and started to scale the marijuana. The bundles were sturdy, but I was afraid of being stuck in an avalanche full of grass if things were to go awry.

I was startled by the sound of something crashing to the ground, and the voices were nearer. I made my way to the top of the weed tower, and stretched toward the window. With one big lunge, I was able to push off the stack and reach the windowsill. The bundles of weed started to topple over and my only concern was getting the fuck out of there.

I pulled myself up and through the small window praying for a either a fire escape or Superman. I shimmied the rest of the way through and was totally fucked; neither. There was a ledge about two feet wide that stemmed the entire length of the apartment building. Such fancy architecture for being in the middle of the ghetto, but I was ever thankful.

The apartment was on the fourth floor, and I briefly considered jumping except for the fact that I valued my legs. I hated heights, so I did my best not to look down as I pressed myself as close to the building as humanly possible. To my relief, I made it around the corner pretty fast. I needed to stay put so I could sneak looks at the window in case they tried to follow me. It was still mostly dark out, which helped me remain unseen, but the sun was threatening to come up. I could only imagine what would transpire if I ended up stuck out there until morning. People would think a moron was trying to commit suicide by jumping off a fourth floor balcony.

As I stayed glued to the side of the building for hell knows how long, my adrenaline rush was quickly being replaced with pure exhaustion. For about the tenth time, I felt around in my pockets hoping for food, my phone, or even some sort of weapon. I came up empty, except for some pocket lint, every single time. I hoped that if I wished for it enough something would magically appear.

My stomach was growling like a mofo, but I was not going to cave in and eat lint, so I did the next best thing and whispered to it, and even rubbed it a little. Yes, my stomach had a mind of its' own.

I heard a noise, so I peeked around the corner. I could see a hand sticking out of James's window. The hand was grasping onto the window, but seemed to disappear. I could only make out a few words that were being yelled, but it sounded like the guys were fighting amongst each other.

I heard more shouting and then saw the hand reappear...followed by an arm. Someone was inching their way out the fucking window.

**A/N: Yet another cliffy...don't hate on me..just review instead;) **

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	33. Officers Down

**Thanks to obsmama for pre-reading and susayq and secretobsession7 for being awesome betas. I want to thank all of you for sticking with this story, and I hope you know how much I appreciate it! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns this stuff. **

**~Chapter 33~Officers Down**

**~Edward~**

I raced through the hospital, as nervous anticipation hit me full force. My life was so fucked up, and if I had anymore stress in it, I was going to end up in the fetal position sucking my thumb, along with my maybe baby.

Emmett was trailing behind me, and though I was thrilled to have a friend to lean on, I was horrified by the reason he was actually there. He obviously had been filled in on the circumstances that were currently consuming my life, and I wondered how he came about looking for Bella.

It wasn't enough that I could possibly be a father, but now the love of my life was somehow missing. I was sure there had to be a good explanation for her absence.

As I neared the doors to the maternity ward, I could see several peoples' heads huddled together through the window. I pressed the call button and was immediately buzzed in. When I opened the door I saw my father, Alice, Jasper and Rose standing together.

"What's going on?" I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know how Tanya was, and I was looking all around trying to find Bella, sure that it must have been some sort of miscommunication. It was crazy early in the morning, almost breaking dawn. I was amazed I'd been able to sleep for a few hours. I knew I was exhausted, but I was so fucking pissed at myself for not being in the know.

Everyone was just staring at me, and I was starting to get pissed. When Alice turned around and locked eyes with me, I knew something was definitely wrong.

"Edward," she said, as she grabbed my arm in a comforting manner. "Bella didn't come home last night. When I called her cell it went right to voicemail, so I figured she was here." She broke down in tears and Jazz protectively put his arms around her. "I woke up out of a dead sleep and just knew something was wrong, so when I went to check on Bella I realized she hadn't been home the whole time. I'm so sorry. I should've stayed home with her. She promised she wouldn't leave and told me she wanted to be alone. I figured she was too upset over you, and too freaked out because of the money. I never thought she would leave. She promised!"

"Alice, what money? What are you talking about?" _What was she talking about and where the hell was Bella?_

"Oh my God! You have no idea! Oh my God. OH. MY. GOD!"

"Alice!" Rose yelled. "Get a grip for fuck's sake. Edward, Bella found a fuck load of money at Laurent's house but never got the chance to tell you because of your pregnant ex-girlfriend. Laurent gave Alicito some purple cash for hacking off some of his dreads, and after we dropped you off, we went back there but didn't find anything else. Oh, and before you ask, their door was conveniently unlocked and I did _not_ hot wire Bella's car while she ran after that guy."

I was standing there with my mouth hanging open. "Rose, what guy?"

"Oh, some dude did a real number on her car. It's not the end of the world; I mean she needs a new car anyways."

I was losing my patience, and beginning to feel my rage return. "Where's Laurent? Dad, have you seen him?" I was clenching my fists. I knew that asshole had something to do with the robberies, and if that was the case, it was time to take the fucker down. I started to walk in the direction of Tanya's room, realizing for the first time that I hadn't even asked what was going on with her.

"Edward." Emmett's voice stopped me in my tracks. "Bella found the money in Tanya's apron."

I turned around and looked at him. "Fuck you, dude." It was one thing that Tanya had been screwing around on me, but another to accuse her of robbery.

"Son, listen to him, please. Go on, Emmett."

"Bro, Bella's car is parked at the restaurant. We looked around, but she was nowhere to be found."

"What was she doing there? Maybe she met a friend." Even as I spoke the words, I knew she went there to try and help my cause. It was my fucking fault that she was in danger.

"Edward, we were going to go there instead of Laurent's, but decided to save it for another day. Bella felt like a piece of the puzzle was right in front of her, and thought if we went back to the scenes of the crimes we'd somehow figure it all out. She must've gone to check it out herself. Edward, Alice called us and we headed there immediately. There's no easy way to say this, but there was blood in the parking lot." Rose was looking at me with such pity and I wanted to scream.

My mind was racing as I tried to digest what I'd just been told. It was my fault. The case was fucking closed, yet I couldn't just let it go. I was the one that involved her in the first place. If I would've just figured it out on my own, she would be standing beside me. What a fucking joke that was too. She should be standing beside me waiting to see if my whore of an ex-girlfriend was having my kid.

I watched in slow motion as a doctor came up to my father and began speaking in a frenzied tone. My dad's eyes cut to me, and I saw him nod his head in understanding. The doctor hurried back in the direction he came from, and my father made his way over to me.

"Son, Tanya's blood pressure is dangerously high and the baby's heart rate is lower than it should be. She's in pre-labor and they're trying everything they can to stop it because she's not far enough along to ensure a safe delivery."

"Dad, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that the next few hours are crucial. Tanya and the baby are both at risk."

I slumped against the wall and felt like the life had just been sucked from my body. My baby was at risk, my girlfriend was missing, and my ex-girlfriend was somehow involved in criminal activity.

Emmett's phone rang, pulling me out of my haze. "No. When? Now?"

I was going to kick his ass and force him to expand his limited vocabulary. Before I had the chance to react, he snapped his phone shut and met my eyes.

"Edward, we've got to get downstairs." I turned to follow him and saw Laurent race around the corner. I made a move to lunge at him and my father stepped in front of me, grabbing my shoulders roughly. He held me in place long enough for Laurent to pass by, and then shoved me toward Emmett, who grabbed a hold of my arm. "Now, bro!"

"Dad, call me if there are any changes," I shouted over my shoulder. I knew where I needed to be, and wrong or not, it wasn't with Tanya and the baby.

Jasper and I followed Emmett to the elevators that would lead us to the lobby, with Alice and Rose walking tentatively behind us. I was pacing back and forth as we waited for the elevator doors to open. My beautiful girl was in danger; I could sense it with every part of my being.

The doors opened to reveal a surprised look on my mother's face when she saw me. There was no one more surprised than me. I took in her appearance and outwardly groaned. She was wearing some sort of beret that was covering her eggplant covered hair, with black cargo pants that were tucked into black tactical boots with hot pink laces. Her shirt made my left eye twitch. It was one of my FBI Academy t-shirts that had been puffy painted hot pink down the sleeves. One side said 'FBI Moms' and the other side said 'Do it Better'. She looked like she was ready for some sort of duty; which sort, I had no idea.

Standing next to her was a Mexican dude wearing cargo pants, with a utility vest, and a sombrero. I mean seriously, a big fucking sombrero in the hospital butt-crack early. To say my mother was keeping odd company these days was a gross understatement. I couldn't help but warily eye the guy.

"Edward, hello. This is my hombre, baby Lopez. He's been in Los New Mooners since 2008. I'm going to show him how to handle his pistol." I watched as he opened his vest to reveal his own band's t-shirt.

I heard Emmett chuckling behind me. "Esme, you're looking hot." He wrapped her in a giant bear hug and then fist pumped her hombre.

She looked around me and her face lit up when she saw Alice and Rose. "Hells yeah! My amigos are here. I'm so glad you girls are up and ready to go. I woke up extra early so I could pack up my ammo and get my guns cleaned before we left. That damn husband of mine ran off with the keys to my gun safe again. I'm sure it's his way of getting me in his office, if you get my drift," she said with an exaggerated wink. "What are you all doing here this early anyways?"

Jasper looked to Alice, who in turn nodded. Alice and Rose flanked my mother and led her to find my father. "Gracias boys," she shouted to us, as she happily walked away with the girls. My poor father. Es-bo was dressed for battle, and he had to be the one to tell her that Tanya was pregnant and Bella was missing. At least she had no ammo.

Emmett, Jasper and I got into the elevator, and we rode in silence to the lobby. As he turned toward the ER my blood ran cold. I was scared to death for my beautiful girl. My steps faltered and I couldn't get my feet to move. He turned around and realization dawned on him.

"Edward, it's not what you think. Bella's not here, but Sam called and told us to meet him here because he's pretty sure one of his parolees knows where she might be."

Jasper put his hand on my back and guided me forward. I heard my name being called and looked behind me to see Yorkie racing toward me. "Hey, I got here as fast as I could. Jasper called and told me what was going on. Fuck, dude. I wouldn't want to be you right now."

"Thanks a lot, dick head." I punched him in the arm to let him know what a prick statement that was.

"Edward, over here." Emmett was standing at the entrance to one of the examination rooms. He looked nervous, which in turn made me even more nervous.

Sam looked at me and motioned toward the room. "Hey, man," he said by way of introduction. "Glad you guys happened to be here already. Listen, Bella called me a while ago to tell me that she saw this dude assault his girlfriend. He's been a fucking pain in the ass since I got him on my caseload. I met the police here and he's a fucking wreck. The girl did some major damage to his dick!"

Jasper and I walked in the room to see a guy who was a bloody mess. He had an obviously broken nose, and there was a sheet covering his lower half that was also very bloody. If I never saw blood again, I would be a happy guy. As I took a closer look, I barely recognized him as a guy that Tanya worked with at the restaurant. His signature, and very out of style, pony tail gave him away, and I had no idea that he was on parole.

He was writhing around in obvious pain and his eyes were clenched shut. I kicked the side of the bed and his eyes flew open. The look of shock was unmistakable.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Perfect Fucking FBI. What brings you here?" he asked as he attempted to smirk through his pain.

"James, is it? You have five seconds to tell me where the fuck she is before I make it so you don't get out of here for a very long time."

"Oh, you wouldn't dare touch me in a public place, would you pretty boy?"

I felt like my head was going to explode. I wanted to pistol whip the fucker into oblivion, but I needed to know where Bella was first.

"Where the fuck is she?" I snarled.

"I'm sure by now your little girlfriend is being well taken care of. Oh, and do you mind telling that other slut that used to be your girlfriend to stop fucking calling me. I don't give a flying fuck if she's pregnant. I gave her the money to get rid of it, but she didn't fucking listen. Now it's her problem, not mine."

My hands immediately went to his throat, and I began to choke the life out of him. All of the day's events were fueling the rage that I had, and it never felt so good to put my hands on someone like it did at that moment.

"Cullen, I got it," said Jasper from behind me. "Let him go, I know where Bella is."

I released my hold on James, and he immediately started to cough. When I turned around I saw that Jasper was scrolling through a phone that must have belonged to him.

"Are you sure?" I'd be damned if I was going to just leave James to get medical attention while my girl was missing. Not to mention the fact that he thought Tanya's baby was his, which meant that he had slept with her too. I was trying to push the thought out of my head. I needed to concentrate on finding Bella, not on the fact that my dick was probably going to shrivel up and fall off.

"Yeah, he got a text telling him that they were at his place, and then he sent one saying that _she_ was at his apartment and needed to be taken care of."

"Sam! You need to take us to James's. She's there, but not alone." My girl was at the scumbag's apartment with goddamn gang bangers.

The five of us rushed out the door into Yorkie's waiting bureau car and sped off toward the ghetto. Sam told us that he had just done a home visit and everything looked okay. He said that James had been a pain in the ass, but lately he had managed to keep a job and was more receptive to his parole conditions.

Sam directed Yorkie to the correct apartment building, and I was out of the car before it even came to a complete stop. Emmett, Jasper, Sam, and Yorkie were right behind me. We had no plan of attack, just five law enforcement officers going to rescue the love of my life.

Sam took the lead, as he knew exactly which apartment belonged to James. Our training and experience came into play as we gathered outside the door. Emmett pressed his ear to the door and nodded to us, meaning that he heard noise inside. I was pressed flush against the wall so I would have the best view when the door opened. Jasper reached forward and quietly tried the doorknob. It was locked, so Yorkie rummaged around in his pocket until he found a lock picking kit. It took him all of thirty seconds to get the door unlocked. One would have thought that there would be much better security in the ghetto.

Emmett raised his hand and did a countdown from five. At about the time he got to two we heard a blood curdling scream, which prompted Jasper to throw open the door. The five of us were like a well rehearsed tactical wet dream. We knew exactly what to do and where to go so that we didn't accidentally shoot each other.

The door opened into a living room, and people were scattering in every direction, adding to the ruckus that started out with the screamer. I saw one guy dive behind the couch and yelled for Emmett and Jasper to be careful. Just as the words flew out of my mouth, the guy stood up and fired shots at us. We fired back and heard him moan. Emmett proceeded to race over the couch to secure the situation.

"He's hit in the arm," Emmett yelled to us. "I've got his weapon, and I'm cuffing him to the couch."

The screaming got louder, and I motioned for Sam to take care of the woman who was huddled in the corner. As much as I wanted it to be Bella, I knew at once that it wasn't. Her screams were worse than the sound of nails on a chalkboard, and her hair was all sorts of fucked up.

I heard movement in the kitchen, so I pointed my weapon forward and headed in that direction.

"Fuck, Officer down," Jasper yelled.

I looked back into the living room to see Yorkie laying on the ground holding his chest. I rushed over to him and Jasper took the lead and ran toward the kitchen.

"Yorkie, buddy, hang in there." As I knelt down to check him out, I felt his Kevlar vest underneath his shirt. Relief poured over me in waves. At least he had the sense to wear his vest, which was more than I could say for the rest of us.

"Dude, this fucking hurts. I can't even imagine how it would feel without the protection."

I wanted to give him a hug and a smooch for wearing the thing, but that would have been a little fucking weird, so I opted for a quick arm grab. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Edward, I just saw more movement back there." Jasper was pressed up against the wall in the kitchen pointing towards the back of the apartment.

"You clear the kitchen, and I'll check out the rest."

I ran past Jasper and into a half bath that was off the hallway. I saw a form inside, so I continued forward at full speed blasting my body into the figure, knocking us both to the floor. A gun scattered across the cold tile floor, but it wasn't mine.

We rolled around on the ground battling for dominance. The fucker was strong. He landed a punch to my already split lip and I felt blood pour out of it. I didn't think twice as I bashed my pistol across his eye, but even a pistol whipping didn't stop him.

"Stop fighting, motherfucker." It was like he was crazed, more than likely due to meth. Truth be told, I had every right to shoot him since he continued to fight; however, it really wasn't on my list of things to do. I needed to find Bella, and if he was dead it would be that much harder. I landed some body shots, which finally seemed to slow him down a bit. "Where is she?" I questioned.

"Fuck you, pig!" he screamed, as he gouged at my eyes.

I pressed my forearm to his neck, limiting his air supply. His eyes were bugging out of his head and he finally stopped fighting. I placed my cuffs on him securing his wrists behind him.

"Get the fuck off of my bro, before I bust a cap in your ass," a voice from behind me said.

I turned my head around to see a kid, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, pointing a gun at me gangster style with a shaking hand. Fucking fabulous. I was hesitant as hell to get off of the guy underneath me. I just got the fucker to submit.

"Relax and put the gun down, kid."

"Who the fuck are you calling a kid?" He raised his gun higher, and I wasn't sure I could turn mine on him in time.

I looked him dead in the eyes and saw nothing but darkness; no emotions, no fear. I could see his finger tightening on the trigger and knew I was fucked.

At the same time I heard the gunshot, I saw the 'kid' being knocked on his ass. Standing behind him was Bella's dude from the closet incident. I had no idea what prompted him to attempt to help me, and didn't have the focus to try and figure it out because my chest was on fucking fire, and I realized that I had been hit. Wait until I told Yorkie what it really felt like.

I heard a barrage of footsteps and shouts getting closer; too little too late, in my opinion. I had never felt so much pain in my life. It was like someone was pushing a steel rod that had been sitting in a fire through my shoulder into my chest. My eyesight was becoming blurry and I was going to hurl or pass out; perhaps even both.

I saw Jasper cuffing the 'kid' and then Emmett sucker punch the guy who most probably saved my life. "No!" I screamed. They had no idea he was not truly one of them.

Emmett and Jasper looked at me with confusion. As I tried to form the words letting them know what he did, I felt myself slip away into unconsciousness.

**A/N: I know…another cliffy…all I can say is sorry (well, not really..I have to keep you guys reading somehow)! I had to end it there or else it would go on forever. **

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	34. More Blood Please

**All the thanks in the world to my readers, my pre-reader obsmama, and my betas, susayq and secretobsession7. A huge hug goes out to lotusblosm for introducing me to fanfiction in the first place. Long ass A/N at the bottom, but please read**

**Stephenie Meyer created this whole thing.**

**~Chapter 34~More Blood Please**

**~Bella~**

_I heard more shouting and then saw the hand reappear...followed by an arm. Someone was inching their way out the fucking window._

I began to panic and my bladder was threatening to let loose. I wasn't sure whether I should run toward the window and repeatedly karate chop the arm, or move in the opposite direction. Decisions, decisions, I fucking hated making decisions.

Both of my plans sounded okay, but when I went to move, I discovered that I was stuck. Not like frozen in place with fear stuck, but stuck as in my fucking coat was stuck on something. I roughly pulled away from the building, and could feel the resistance.

I was perched right at the corner of the building, which kept me out of the line of sight of the window. I craned my neck as far as possible and managed to see the very edge of it. As quick as the arm appeared; it had vanished. Relief flooded my body until I heard a couple of popping noises. I knew what the sound was; I had heard the same sound in my dreams, and in reality. Gunshots.

I took some cleansing breaths and was cursing myself and the building while asking God what the hell I had done wrong to deserve such bullshit. I heard a voice in my head telling me that if it didn't kill me, it would make me stronger. I wasn't sure I was interested in being so fucking strong; however, I knew I wasn't interested in dying either. I heard sirens in the distance, and desperately hoped that the good guys were coming to the rescue.

I was so scared it wasn't funny. I knew the bad guys had guns, and felt sick to my stomach at the thought of something happening to Riley or Lauren. I needed to get the fuck out of dodge. I steadied myself and then pulled away from the building with all my might. Nothing happened, except for my head banging on the brick wall, of course.

I swore to myself I wouldn't wear a pull-over ever again. I knew it was a shot in the dark; no pun intended, but since I couldn't un-stick myself, I was opting to shimmy out of my coat. I pulled my hands out of my sleeves and bent my knees, dropping down. It was working and my coat made it above my stomach and inched up my back. I'm sure I looked like a total freak who was trying to do some sort of expressional dance on the side of a building. I was just about out of my coat when another gunshot rang out. It scared the piss out of me _literally_.

I remained huddled in the corner, with my coat draped around my neck, as warm trickles of urine saturated my pants. It didn't even faze me since I was terrified of what was happening inside the apartment. I couldn't explain it, but all of a sudden I felt pain shooting through my chest and shoulder, as if I had been shot myself. I actually ran my hands across the area to double check. Little black stars were clouding my vision, and I felt faint. What the fuck? I was physically fine, yet my emotions were off the charts in an instant.

I was channeling my inner Yoga, and trying to breathe evenly. I seriously felt like I was going to pass out. Not that I had any sort of clue how to breathe Yoga style from the one time I went with Alice, but one could pretend. I was desperately trying to take myself to another place; preferably to a beach with Edward. I thought about all the things we would do, and the feeling of contentment that came over me whenever he told me he loved me.

"BELLA! BELLA!" I heard my name a couple of times, before I actually realized it was being yelled in real life, and not in my fantasy.

The voice was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I pushed through my unbearable, yet unwarranted pain, finally broke free of my restraints, and made my way around the corner closer to the window. I saw an arm reappear, and took a deep breath of relief when I saw the bracelet that my friend had just given to her boyfriend.

"Jasper!" I all but sobbed his name.

"Bella, the window is too small. Try to jump up as far as you can, so I can pull you inside."

I did as he said, and he pulled me safely back into the bathroom.

"Oh my God, Jasper! Is everything alright? I've never been so happy to see someone in my entire life. Well, no offense, but if Edward was here that would make me a wee bit happier." I was rambling on and on, and he was gracious enough not to say a word.

I threw myself at him, and I was again accosted by the sweet smell of weed. My stomach growled, which I found hilarious since I thought smoking it was a huge waste of time. I giggled and realized how hungry I actually was.

Jasper looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on the wet spot between my legs. I could sense his embarrassment, as he began to fidget. "Um, Bella, we need to talk."

"Jazz, are you breaking up with me?" I felt so giddy, perhaps from the contact buzz, hunger, and the euphoria of being rescued, that I thought I was a comedian.

I snorted and turned to open the bathroom door when suddenly Jasper was stopping me. "Bella, it's Edward. He's been shot and we're waiting for the ambulance to get here."

As if on cue, I heard more sirens in the distance. "Jasper, where is he?" I knew the answer, as I forced him out of the way. I blasted out of the door and didn't stop until I saw all of the guys huddled around the love of my life. Edward was lying on the floor.

I felt my knees weaken, but I vowed to remain strong for him. Emmett was holding onto his hand and looked up at me with such sadness. As I took a quick look around, I noticed blood everywhere.

"EDWARD! NO!" I screamed his name and rushed to his side. I grabbed his hand from Emmett and was so fucking relieved that it was warm. His eyes were closed, and he was taking shallow breaths. "Baby, wake up. I'm here. Everything's going to be okay. I need you to wake up and be with me. Edward, please! I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't _want_ a life if you're not in it. _Edward, _you are my life! I love you, baby. Please!"

I brought his hand to my face and then moved it to my lips, holding it there. I felt a rush of movement behind me and noticed the paramedics moving toward us.

"Miss, you need to give us some space. Miss?" I felt hands on my shoulder trying to urge me out of the way.

"No," I sobbed. "I'm not leaving him."

"Ma'am, you don't have to leave him, just give us some room to work."

Jasper, the calming guy that he was, extended his arm to me, helping me to my feet. I leaned into him and watched as the paramedics took care of my love. It didn't go unnoticed to me that the site of all the blood was the same area in which I had experienced the grueling pain, thus proving to me that we really were a part of one another.

They ripped his shirt off, and his entire chest was covered with blood. I watched as they packed his wound with tons of gauze, and then carefully moved him onto the gurney. My poor sweetheart was even more pale than I even thought possible. They placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, and I continued to watch the movement of his lungs, making sure he was still breathing.

I followed behind as they left the apartment and headed outside. As I exited the building, all of the sirens I'd heard earlier finally made sense. There were several police cars and an ambulance. I watched as one officer led a handcuffed gang member toward a cruiser. He was cockily moving away from the cop, and then I saw spit fly. The fucker had the nerve to spit on him. Talk about no respect for authority.

"You're lucky I'm cuffed, or I'd have busted a cap in your ass too. Fuck you all," he spouted.

With that revelation, I knew I was looking at the motherfucker who shot my boyfriend. I had a one track mind, as I walked up to him and kicked him square in the nuts. He knelt over in pain, and was gasping for air. "I hope you burn in hell, you piece of shit!" I screamed.

"Bella, they're waiting for you!" Emmett motioned for me to follow him.

As I was making my way to the ambulance, I saw Riley in the back of a police car. We made eye contact, and I mouthed to him that I was glad he was okay, and then I touched the glass of window and said 'thanks'. I was so grateful for what he had risked to make things right, and I swore I would make sure that _his_ life was made right.

I had forgotten all about Lauren, and wasn't surprised in the least when I saw her disheveled self reporting live from in front of the apartment building.

I climbed into the back of the ambulance and held on tight as we sped to the hospital.

xxxxx

"We have a GSW to the right side of the chest near the shoulder. Blood pressure is low, but his pulse is stable." The paramedics handed the gurney off to the team of doctors who were waiting at the entrance.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Carlisle behind me. "Bella, thank God you're okay. I haven't checked him out myself yet, but from what I was told, he should be just fine. Your friends are on their way down. Just have a seat, and I'll check in with you as soon as I can." He raced to Edward, and I couldn't help but marvel at the fact that he took the time to check on me.

"Thanks, Carlisle," I said through my tears.

Alice was beside me not a minute later, followed by Rose and Esme. They all grabbed onto me in an awkward group hug. I assured them I was fine, but was worried about Edward. When they looked at me with confusion, I realized that they had no idea he had been shot. Fucking great.

"Dear, don't be worried about him. Things will work out. I told that young lady what a tramp she was, and to stay away from my son. She better listen or I'm going to open up a can of whoop ass on her. Oh, and dear, I think you must've sat in something wet," she said, as she stared at my pants. Esme then cracked her knuckles, and I couldn't help but notice her Rambo-like attire.

It dawned on me that we were supposed to go shooting. The thought of bullets and guns made my whole body shake. All I could think about was the gun that shot the bullet into Edward.

"Oh, Esme," I sobbed with a trembling body. "He's been shot. They shot him, and it's all my fault!"

"Bella, calm down. None of this is your fault." Alice had her strong little arms around me, trying to make me feel better.

"I should have never gone to the restaurant alone. I should've waited. Edward was shot because he was trying to save me!"

I looked up at Esme, who was as white as a ghost, and unusually silent. I saw her teeter a split second before I could get to her, as she fell to the ground. Before I knew what was happening, a fat Mexican guy nudged me out of the way to get to her. "Who the fuck is that?" I thought aloud.

"Bella, it's alright, that's baby Lopez. He's one of her amigos from the band." Alice clapped her hands in front of me to get my attention. I was too enthralled in staring at Esme's limp form being hustled into the emergency room.

Alice, Rose, and I ran behind the large man who was carrying Esme as if she was sacred. A doctor greeted us immediately, and got nervous as hell when he saw that it was Mrs. Cullen. "She collapsed when she heard her son was shot," Rose explained to him.

"Okay, let's get her settled." The doctor pointed to a bed, and the Los New Mooner gently set her down so she could be examined.

I heard Carlisle's name being paged over the intercom, and it wasn't two seconds later that I heard it again. After several minutes he entered Esme's room, and it was his turn to look like a ghost. We made eye contact and he ran his fingers through his hair in desperation. "Bella..."

"Oh, God, no!" I screamed. "No, Carlisle, say he's okay. Tell me," I sobbed, as I threw myself at him.

"Bella, Bella! He's going to be okay. They've taken him to surgery to remove the bullet. He's lost a lot of blood, and may need a transfusion, but he's stable and the bullet seems to have missed anything major."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" I wrapped my arms even tighter around him, squeezing as hard as I could.

He managed to loosen my hold on him, and pulled me back so he could look into my eyes. "Bella, Tanya is being prepped for an emergency c-section. It seems as if she and Edward will be in surgery at the same time."

"Oh, shit!" Alice was never one to be tactful, so I wasn't surprised at her outburst.

"I'll update you guys as soon as I know anything. Please keep an eye on my woman."

He turned to leave and outspoken Alice struck again. "Carlisle, your wife is over there passed out." She was standing with her hands on her hips glaring at him.

"Alice, my darling wife passes out if she sees a spider. I spoke with Dr. Embry, and he assured me she's fine. I need you girls to take care of her, so I can see to it that my son, and my possible grandchild, are taken care of."

With that, he turned and rushed out of the room. It was the first time in awhile that Alice was rendered speechless.

The girls, along with the Lopez character were huddled around Esme, so I turned and walked out of the room. I needed to be closer to Edward, and that meant heading to the surgical floor, wherever the hell that was.

"_Isabella, _you heard I was here, did you?" The moment my name was spoken, my hair was standing on end. I would know that creepy voice anywhere.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to glare at the bastard that caused all the grief in the first place. I couldn't have cared less that the two police officers with him were staring at me, and I certainly cared less about the fact that he was clearly all sorts of fucked up.

"Listen up, you sick prick. I will personally see to it that you go back to prison for a very long time. I don't know what kind of sick obsession you have with me, but take a good look because that's as close as you'll ever get. _I'm _totally obsessed with my FBI Agent, and while you're rotting away in prison, we'll be laughing at you. I'll see you at your hearing, and at court, bet on it. You're nothing but a loser, and it's really too bad that Lauren didn't bite your worthless dick off!"

He lunged at me, and the officers were immediately on his ass. I turned and walked away from him with a huge smile on my face. I was relieved that he was in custody and couldn't hurt anyone else.

xxxxx

I sat alone in the waiting room of the surgical wing in my new set of hospital duds. I knew I looked nothing like a doctor, but as long as I didn't look like a girl who had pissed herself, I was cool.

I was relishing in the calm and quietness, but trying to think of anything except for the surgeries that were being performed. I realized that I needed to call Jacob so that he could help Riley, but fuck if I remembered where my phone was at. I seriously needed to strap it to my side.

All of a sudden I felt a presence, and as I looked up I saw Laurent staring at me. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and his hair was still fucked up. "Hello, Miss Bella." He sat down beside me and grabbed my hand.

"Laurent," I said, as I leaned into him. "I guess that six degrees of separation shit is true. Who would've thought we'd all be tied together like this?"

"So, I guess you've heard then?" He looked so distraught, yet _he_ was looking at _me_ with compassion. "You know, it doesn't have to change anything. If you love each other, then fight for it."

_What the hell was he talking about? _"Laurent, I don't quite understand what you mean."

"Where is Edward? I would've thought he'd be here by now," he spat.

It totally irked me how Laurent spoke his name with such contempt. It was then I realized he had no idea Edward was in surgery also. "Laurent, Edward was shot and is in surgery right now, and why are you here instead of in there with Tanya?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. He's going to be okay, yes?" Before I could answer, he continued talking. "Sweetie, I'm out here because Tanya just gave birth to a tiny little baby who is struggling to survive. They were about to whisk her to the NICU, and all I wanted was a glimpse of my daughter. I was elated when the nice nurse let me sneak a peak. She was all wrapped up in a blanket, and all I could see was her precious little face. My elation was short lived, Miss Bella. The baby's as white as you." Laurent let out a sob and I felt awful.

I continued to hold his hand while he sobbed. It was then that what he had said to me made sense. The baby was now most probably Edward's, but could also be James's, according to Riley. Obviously Laurent had no idea about the possibility of another baby's daddy, and it so wasn't up to me to break his heart any further either.

Carlisle came into the waiting room and looked at me with his eyebrows raised, as a sobbing Laurent continued to let his emotions overflow all over my hospital attire.

Thankfully, Laurent noticed him and attempted to pull himself together.

"Bella, Edward's almost out of surgery. They got the bullet out, but he lost a lot of blood. He's going to be in a lot of pain when he wakes up and probably pretty weak. The good thing is this hospital has an unusually high amount of blood on hand, so he was able to get exactly what he needed." Carlisle still looked nervous as he spoke.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "Can I see him?"

"He's in recovery, but as soon as he's transferred to a regular room I don't see any reason why not. Laurent, Tanya is back in her room. The baby was taken to the NICU, and I'm on my way there now. From what I hear, she's a tiny little thing, but a real fighter. Bella, I'll have you paged as soon as I hear anything."

He was gone in a flash, leaving me with Laurent, who I could tell was struggling with what to do. He obviously cared deeply about Tanya, but was it enough to help her raise someone else's kid? At the end of the day, that really wasn't my problem, or any of my business. Tanya was in a shit load of trouble, not to mention the baby, who had a long road ahead of her. Laurent was a good guy, and I hoped he would find a way to be happy amongst all of the drama.

My name was paged, so I gave Laurent a quick hug and told him to hang in there. I raced to the information desk and was given directions to Edward's room. My heart was racing as I made my way to him. I was nervous, to say the least, but also so relieved I would be able to be with him. I couldn't wait to see him and physically touch him in order to feel at ease. After all we'd been through; I knew I didn't ever want to be without him.

I walked into his room, and the minute I saw him I knew I was finally home.

**A/N: This ending is dedicated to all of you who gave me shit about the cliffies! A nice gushy chapter ending just for you:)**

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	35. A Lover and a Fighter

**Thanks to everyone that reads my story! I truly appreciate it, and want to thank lotusblosm for introducing me to this world! Obsmama is my pre-reader and susayq and secretobsession7 are my betas. **

**I seriously think I may have a little touch of ADD. I was ready to start this chapter and then ended up writing for the giggle snort Christmas Cracker contest, and then for Southern Fanfiction Review…so sorry, but that's an added bonus for you guys!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all that goes with it.**

**~Chapter 35~A Lover and a Fighter **

**~Edward~**

I went from searing pain to virtually no feelings whatsoever, and it was fucking strange. It was like I was floating around on the clouds. I couldn't see anything, couldn't feel anything, and could only hear muffled sounds. I wasn't asleep, but was sort of just lingering on the edge of consciousness. I wasn't in pain, but I did feel a lot of pressure in my chest and shoulder.

Though I was confused, I also felt so calm. I heard a baby cry in the distance and then saw images of my girl floating beside me. I was smiling at her but couldn't seem to get any words out. Her voice was the only one that came through crystal clear. I'm sure it was because it was the most important voice in my life. I loved her, plain and simple, except for the fact the she wasn't plain and things weren't simple.

In my haze she was telling me that she loved me and wanted to be with me forever and always. In fact, she specifically said that we should live together and that she was going to make an honest man out of me. The calmness that I was feeling turned into a warmness that was full of love, and it washed through my body. I only hoped that I wasn't dead and imagining things. I hadn't seen any bright lights or angels, nor had I felt hot flames, so I guessed there was still hope that I was alive. I just had to figure out why I couldn't function.

Bella then brought up the Mariners and how shitty their season had turned out to be, and then even mentioned the Supersonics and their move. I swear if I didn't know better, she was trying to piss me off. She continued on about the Seahawks and their new draft picks, and then started to rant about Matt Hasselbeck. Even her rambling chatter made me feel like smiling. I tried to concentrate as hard as I could on doing just that, but it didn't work at all. It was like my lips were stuck together and covered up by something.

The only way I could think of to get her attention was to make noise. My body still felt numb, so it was up to my mouth. I mustered up as much energy as I could and tried to speak. All that happened was that my throat burned. I attempted to swallow, which burned even worse, and then tried again. In a voice that sounded like a ninety year old smoker's, I managed to croak something incomprehensible out.

Apparently, it didn't matter what I said, just that I made some sort of noise. I heard Bella sob my name, and then call for my father. My body was starting to tingle and I felt intense pressure on my hand, but also searing pain on my other side.

I forgot about that as soon as I saw a really bright light move from one eye to the other. Motherfucker! I was dead. I just knew it. God must have been trying to make up his mind about me. Damn. I mean I was happy with His decision and all, I just hoped I wouldn't see him face to face for awhile yet.

"Son, can you hear me?" Crazy, there were angels who sounded like Carlisle...and Bella.

The tingling in my body intensified and I felt lighter. Maybe I was going to get my angel wings next. I was going to fly like a motherfucker. My angel thoughts were short lived due to a sharp pain in one knee cap, and then the other. Next up, the damn bright lights again. God was sure an indecisive dude. Just when I thought I was nearing the stairway to heaven, the damn knee caps again. "Ow!" I croaked.

"Edward, its Dad. I'm just checking your reflexes." I willed my eyes to open and saw the damn bright lights again. This time I saw that they were connected to my father's pocket flashlight.

"I'm not dead?" I whispered. It hurt way less to whisper and I didn't sound ninety.

"No baby, you're not dead."

Bella was right next to me, and I suddenly knew why the pressure on my hand was so intense. She was holding onto it for dear life. "Hand hurts."

"Oh shit, sorry." She loosened her grip but didn't let it go.

My father lifted something off of my face and I tentatively tried to lick my dry lips. He then reached over and shoved some sort of wet spongy thing over them. It was fabulous. I felt like I'd been stuck in the desert with nothing to drink, and this was my oasis.

He quickly went into doctor mode and explained what had happened. The only thing I comprehended was that I'd been shot, had surgery, and was going to be okay. He explained how the morphine pump worked, and I was grateful that he spoke English instead of doctor on that one. The more my body was waking up, the more pain I was in. I pressed the pump once and then again for good measure.

I stared at my girl and was relieved that she was by my side. The details could be left for later because the only thing that mattered was that she was safe. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, so much."

There was bunch of noise coming from the hallway, suddenly moving closer, and my first thought was to be annoyed that someone had turned their TV up so loud. Worse yet, the show wasn't even in English.

"Arriba arriba. Mi son needs his madre. Vamanos chicas."

Bursting into the room was my madre...err...mother, followed by Alice and Rose. I pressed my morphine again even though I knew that it was futile. The drugs were already entering my system as fast as possible, yet with my mother around one could always hope. "Hi, mom."

"Oh, Edward! You had me worried sick. Literally. Did they tell you I fainted? Yep, the Los New Mooner had to rescue me and take me to get looked at. I had to have stitches in my head and there's a monster bruise on my backside. You just have to see it." She moved her hair so I could see where her head was stitched. There may have been like two stitches but half of her head was shaved. I rapidly blinked because surely my eyesight was fucked up. I saw an E in cursive where her hair should've been. "Don't you just love it? Baby Lopez borrowed the nurse's razor when she wasn't looking. Wait until you check out the bruise." She made a move toward her pants, and thank God my pain meds kicked in. I faded into darkness thinking of my mother's bruised ass.

Bella was on a cot next to my bed reading when I woke up. She had a concerned look on her face but swore that nothing was wrong. I felt like I was missing something, but I was still too fucked up off of the anesthesia and morphine to figure out what it was. I drifted off again and when I woke up Bella was asleep. I channel surfed until I caught David Letterman announcing that some band named after monkeys was coming on. I was pleasantly surprised by the 100 Monkeys, and couldn't stop staring at the TV because one of the dudes looked exactly like Jasper. Wait until I told Alice she was dating a rock star.

I turned off the TV and blew a kiss to my sleeping Bella and then did something I hadn't done in a long time; I thanked God that I was alive, and for keeping Bella safe when I didn't.

xxxxx

By the next day I was feeling much better. My chest and shoulder still hurt like a bitch, but I was much more alert and less groggy. I refused to take any more morphine, and was handling my pain with huge doses of ibuprofen. I much rather preferred to be uncomfortable over feeling like I had no control over my body.

Alice and Jasper came to visit. They forced Bella to go and get something to eat, and then promised to stay with me while she went home to shower and change. Alice was beside herself at the fact Bella was wearing hospital scrubs. I never thought to ask her why. It was adorable how she didn't want to leave me. We were definitely on the same page because I didn't want her to leave me either. She nuzzled my neck and reluctantly left.

Jasper filled me in on what transpired after I was shot. He explained where he found Bella, and also what else he found in the bathroom. The amount of drugs and money, along with the apartment's ties to James, should be enough proof to send him away for a very long time. If Riley would agree to testify, it would surely seal his fate.

"Jazz, have you seen Riley?" I needed to properly thank him for saving my life and helping Bella.

"Dude, he's in jail where he belongs."

"No! He saved my life. He ratted out James and did what was right. I mean I'm kind of pissed that he put Bella in danger, but that was my fault in the first place. I should've left her out of it." I went to run my hand through my hair and grimaced as I naturally tried to use my bad arm.

"Edward, do you know how pissed Bella would be if she knew you felt like that? That's one of the things she digs about you, you never act like this is a man's world. I know it's a whole different story since you love her and shit, but you better come up with some sort of happy medium or she's going to kick your ass."

"Yeah, Edward. Oh, and I know you want her to live with you, but you better come up with something, because I can't imagine her living somewhere that the skank lived first."

_How did she know that?_ "Alice, seriously? How did you know that?"

"Duh, Edward. It doesn't take a genius, though I'm close, to figure it out. Plus, Jazz and I are planning on moving in together as soon as you guys figure out what to do. I wasn't going to say anything to Bella because I didn't want her to think she was keeping us from each other. Our lease is up at the end of next month so we need to figure something out anyways. We just haven't had the chance considering all the chaos," she said, as she gestured to my injury.

It was perfect timing because I wanted to live with Bella more than anything. I just had to figure out a way to convince her to move in with me. I wasn't going to sell my condo in order to rent an apartment. Plus the market sucked and I really didn't want to take a total loss trying to sell it. First things first, I had to actually ask her.

A short nap later, I woke up to find my mother staring at me at an uncomfortably close distance. I could've counted her fake eyelashes for fucks sake. "Mom?"

"Welcome back, Edward. I was trying to give you some of my mojo. I'm on fire these days and figured you could benefit from some of my kick ass aura." With that statement she started to hum and flail her arms around in some sort of movement.

A familiarly loud chuckle rang out from the doorway. Emmett was grinning as he walked into my room with Rose. My mother stopped her humming so that she could molest him instead. She was the only one who could get away with it without getting their ass beat by Rose.

"Your eyebrows are out of control. I'll give you a wax on the house since you're injured and shit."

"Thanks Rose." I just thanked her for insulting me, and offering to torture me for free. She was a slick one.

A loud smack pulled us from our banter. Rose and I looked over just in time to see my mother sashay out of my room while Emmett was rubbing his newly tender ass. All I could do was shake my head in embarrassment.

Emmett was still laughing as he took a seat at my bedside. "Dude, your mom is seriously kick-ass. If she wasn't married and I wasn't with Rose, you'd so be calling me daddy."

"Whatever. You're not Finch and I'm so not Stifler. I'd fuck you up, one arm and all."

I totally knew he was joking...at least I thought so, and I also knew I couldn't fuck him up even if I had four arms. Our conversation was saved by the Bella. She walked in and I could smell her freshly showered scent. She looked refreshed, but I could still see tension in her eyes.

"Hey, B. Where were you? Don't tell me, you were checking on your step-kid?"

She looked at me and then at him with the bitchiest look I'd ever seen, at the same time Rose smacked him in the head. "Em," she whispered.

"What?" he questioned with a confused look on his face. "Oh shit."

I could feel the color drain from my face. "It was born? The baby was born and no one fucking told me? How could you keep this from me?" I looked at Bella as I asked the question. She was chewing on her bottom lip, and I saw tears welling up in her eyes.

"Edward, you weren't strong enough yesterday. We decided not to say anything until your condition improved."

"We? Oh, I get it. You and _Dr. _Cullen. Well guess what, it's not up to the two of you." I knew I was being a dick, but I had so many questions, and was totally concerned about the baby's status. "Can someone please page my father and find out how the baby is?"

Rose and Emmett mumbled their goodbyes and Bella was on the phone with the nurses' station trying to find my father. She hung up the phone and looked at me warily.

"Your dad's in surgery. Edward, all I know about the baby is that it's a she, and she's white. I ran into Laurent and he was devastated. They took her to the NICU and then you were out of surgery, and I left him to find out about you. They wouldn't have given me any information because I'm not family anyways."

She held onto my arm and I knew I had to control my temper. I was pissed, but I really couldn't fault her. Well pissed wasn't exactly correct, I was nervous as hell. "Bella, I need to see her." Oh my God, there was a her. I could possibly have a daughter; a little girl. I pushed myself up with my good arm, and straddled my legs over the side of the bed.

"Edward, wait!" Bella exclaimed. "You can't just get up and walk out of here."

"Bella, I need to see her. I need to know if she's okay, and if she's mine."

I placed my feet on the floor and attempted to stand up. I felt woozy and nauseous and had no idea how I was going to make it to the maternity ward. Come to think of it, I had no idea where in the hell I was in relation to it. Bella placed her hands firmly on my waist. "Edward, stay here. I'll be right back."

She left my room in a hurry, and I sat on the edge of my bed wondering what she was up to. A few minutes later she was wheeling a wheelchair into my room. I did a double take when I noticed her with a pair of scrubs on. She winked at me, as I slowly inched my way into the chair. Bella maneuvered my IV so that it was hooked on the back, gave me a quick reassuring hug, and then pushed me out of my room. If anyone noticed, they didn't comment, as we made it to the elevators without a glitch. "Thanks baby. I'm sorry I was a dick. This is just so unreal."

Bella gave me a tiny smile but didn't say anything. I'm sure she was nervous too. Even though I reassured her numerous times that things wouldn't change between us if _she_ was mine, I'm sure that she still had some insecurities. I know I would've if I was in her position. As I thought of that scenario, I started to get anxious. There was no way in hell I wanted to think of my girl having a kid with someone else. That would mean they would've had to have touched her. She was my treasure, and I was planning on spending the rest of my life making sure she knew just how much I adored her.

Bella wheeled out of the elevator and all the way down a long ass hallway until we got to the NICU. There were locked double doors that you had to be let into. I wasn't sure exactly how receptive Tanya was going to be to my visit, but I really didn't give a shit. I just didn't want to run into any problems with the hospital staff.

Bella pressed the button and waited for someone to acknowledge us. The double doors swung open and she pushed me to the nurses' station.

"Can I help you two?" asked an over-tanned, heavily made up nurse. She was eyeing Bella's nurse outfit warily.

"Um, we're here to check on a baby girl who was born yesterday."

"Her name?"

_Fuck. I had no idea what her name was._

"The last name is Denali," Bella spoke up from behind me.

"Okay," the nurse said as she typed the information into her computer. "Alight, here she is. Baby Denali is indeed here. She's scheduled for some more tests, but I'm sure they won't happen until a little later. The technicians are pretty slow around here," she whispered. "That little girl is definitely a fighter."

Bella and I remained in front of her somewhat awkwardly. "Can I see her?" I asked tentatively.

"Honey, it's family only. I'm sorry."

"I am family...I mean, I could be," I mumbled.

"Yeah, and I'm Santa Claus."

"Can you page Dr. Cullen for me then?"

"That's a rather odd request, but sure." The nurse picked up the phone and started to dial.

"Edward, your dad's in surgery," Bella reminded me.

The phone slammed down causing us to look at the nurse. "Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you were Esme's son? Your mother is my homegirl. I love that señora. Tell her Kate said 'Sup' when you see her."

Kate gave Bella an apologetic smile and told her she had to wait outside. She mouthed 'I love you' and walked out through the doors. Kate took control of my wheelchair and pushed me toward the area where the babies were.

I was breathing erratically and suddenly so nervous. I wished Bella was with me, because I sure as fuck needed her support. Kate was chatting non-stop and the only words I made out were Los New Mooners. I made a mental note to thank my mother later for her fan club.

"Okay, here we go." She pushed me up to an enclosed plastic case. I stood up and peered inside. I felt tears well up in my eyes, as I looked at the tiny little angel who was laying there hooked up to all sorts of tubes and machines. She had a pink hat on and was surrounded by a couple of blankets. "Oh my God," I whispered. "She's so tiny."

"She weighed not quite two pounds when she was born. Her mother is worried sick, but I haven't seen the father since she was born. Rumor has it they had some sort of disagreement." I thought back to what Bella told me about Laurent, and couldn't help but feel bad. "So I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you want to see her so bad? Are you friends with them or something?"

Before I could answer, a barrage of alarms started to sound. Nurse Kate reached into the incubator and felt for the baby's pulse. She let out a breath and rearranged some wires, stopping the deafening noise. "Is she okay?"

"Sometimes the wires get trapped and need to be untangled. Everything looks good. Isn't she just a doll? Her coloring is perfect, and you just have to see her hair."

Kate tenderly took the pink cap off of the baby, and my eyes locked in on the tufts of black hair that were sporadically located on her head.

"Um, her hair's so black, and coarse."

"We'll be able to put it in little pony tails soon. She has a lot of it considering how premature she is. A lot of times that's where the African American genes dominate. Her skin may get a little darker, or it may not. Only time will tell."

"African..." My thoughts were disrupted when I heard movement behind me. I turned my head to see Tanya being wheeled into the room.

"Edward, what the hell happened to you? Why are you in a wheelchair?"

"I was shot. Apparently, we were in surgery at the same time. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, considering the circumstances. They think she's going to be alright. I was only twenty-nine weeks, and I'm just lucky she's alive. I need to name her, but I was waiting to find…well you know. Now that it's pretty certain, I can't get a hold of Laurent. He's not answering my calls, and his voice mailbox is filled up so I can't even leave him a message. When he peeked at the baby all he saw was how light her skin was and freaked out. Not that I blame him, he wanted this so bad."

"Yeah, after Bella told me I was pretty confident that the baby was mine. I wanted to see her with my own eyes. Now I guess I know."

We sat there in our wheel chairs awkwardly looking at each other. I wasn't sure how I was feeling. I mean I didn't want a baby with Tanya or anything, but I couldn't help but gaze at the strong little angel in front of me. I knew for certain that I definitely wanted kids in the future.

"Edward, I'm sorry. Not that I'm proud of it, but I honestly didn't know."

"I'm going to get back to my room before I catch shit for leaving in the first place. Um, take care." I tried as best I could to one arm wheel myself out of there. Thankfully Nurse Kate rushed over and helped me maneuver. "Oh, and Tanya," I said to get her attention. "Stay away from creeps like James."

Nurse Kate wheeled me out into the waiting area. "Good luck to you, Edward. You're right where you belong," she said as she motioned over to Bella, who was pacing back and forth.

"Thanks. I'll catch you at the next Los New Mooners show." I winked at her and she chuckled, turning and walking away from me.

Bella spotted me and walked over apprehensively. "Hey," she said with a forced smile.

"Beautiful, she's so tiny. They think she's going to be okay. There's going to be a long road to recovery, and she'll be stuck in there for awhile, but there's a good chance she won't have any long term effects." I watched as her face dropped. "Seeing her totally made me re-evaluate my life." I was smiling at her but confused by the horrified look on her face. I was going to lay it out on the table, and hopefully she wouldn't freak out too bad. "Bella, I..."

"That's okay, I understand." She was fidgeting, and I could feel the tension as it rolled off of her body.

"What?" Shit, she thought I was breaking up with her. "Bella?" I questioned.

"Edward, I get it. You want to be with your _family_." She spoke the last word with a grimace.

"Oh, shit. I'm such a douche. Bella, the baby isn't mine. Turns out she's Laurent's after all."

She did a fist pump and then looked at me with embarrassment. "Thank God!" she exclaimed. "Um, I meant to ask if you're okay."

"Bella, this whole thing made me realize that I do want kids. I just want them with someone I'm totally in love with. Um, someone like you." I let out a deep breath, as I waited for her reaction.

Her face registered shock, happiness and then contentment. "Edward, I love you." She launched herself in my lap, though careful not to disturb my injuries. She laid her head on my shoulder and sighed.

I nuzzled into her hair and tried to hug her with my good arm. Nurse Kate was right; this was exactly where I belonged.

We stayed like that until someone nudged me out of my love trance. I looked up to see Laurent standing next to us. "I guess congratulations are in order," he said humbly. I realized that he didn't yet know he was the father.

"Laurent, what are you doing here?" Bella stood up and put her arm on his.

"I needed to clear my head, and now I know what I want. I need to be with them. I hope that's okay if I'm a part of your child's life." My heart was breaking for him, but I knew his happiness was right through the double doors.

"Laurent, go to Tanya. She _needs_ to talk to you." It wasn't my place to tell him that an angel was waiting for her daddy.

He thanked us and nervously proceeded into the NICU.

Bella wheeled me back to my room. I was exhausted and my shoulder hurt like a motherfucker. I got into bed undetected, which was a little unnerving. I mean I obviously didn't feel like getting chastised, but it was pretty scary if they really had no idea I was gone in the first place.

I settled into my bed and Bella snuggled in beside me. I sighed contently into her hair and drifted off to sleep with a newfound peaceful feeling.

**A/N: Yay! Did you really think the baby was going to be Edward's? I was first planning on Laurent, and then switched to James, and then back to Laurent. I'm sure it really didn't matter as long as it wasn't Edward's. I'm planning on maybe three more chapters. One tying it all up, one of a day at the firing range with Esme, and a nice ripe lemon to end it.**

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	36. Skanky Manipulations

**Thanks to all of you who have given this story a chance! Obsmama pre-reads, and susayq and secretobsession7 are my betas. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. **

**~Chapter 36~Skanky Manipulations**

**~Bella~**

The minute Edward walked in to meet his daughter, I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart. I mean, I knew that it was most probable he was the father; I just had hoped not with all my might. Edward was my one chance at true love, and if nothing else, I was grateful to have had him for a little while. I sounded like a pathetic country song.

I wanted to give the little girl a real chance at a family. It was no fun coming from a broken home. I knew Edward loved me, but he had feelings for Tanya once, and I was sure the love for his daughter would overshadow his feelings for her. I decided, as I paced the waiting room, that I was going to walk away from him if she was his. It wasn't what I wanted to do, rather what I needed to do for that little girl who was fighting for a chance at life.

When Edward came out of the room and started talking about the little girl, I knew I had made the right decision. I was lucky that he started the conversation so that I could have the chance to finish it. I never got that chance because he wasn't the father after all! I never felt such relief and pure joy. I was happy for Laurent. He was a good guy, probably too good for Tanya's ass, but maybe things could work out for them.

Tanya was most probably in some trouble due to her involvement in the restaurant debacle, but hopefully her daughter would keep her on the right track. Either way, it wasn't my problem, or should I say _our_ problem, anymore.

As I snuggled up in bed with the love of my life, I couldn't help but be excited for our future.

xxxxx

Edward remained in the hospital for a few more days. He was released only because I promised to stay with him. His mom was insistent until she remembered that the Los New Mooners were going on a concert tour around Seattle. She was going to be busy making more t-shirts, and of course promoting the band the only way she knew how, by being ridiculously and inappropriately herself. People just loved her, and so did we.

As much as I wasn't sure about staying in Edward's condo indefinitely, he needed to be at home. The place was incredible, but the more I made myself at home, the more I could see little reminders of Tanya. I found a few things in the bathroom one afternoon. The most ironic of things was the nearly full pack of birth control pills that were stuffed way in the back of the closet. She obviously took the time and effort to hide them. The bitch went off the pill on purpose. I didn't bring it up since it didn't matter anyway. I felt like mailing them to her, but instead simply threw them in the trash.

Edward was getting stronger everyday, mostly from the therapy he went to daily since his release. I could tell he was anxious to get his strength back so that he could get back to work. My supervisor allowed me to work from home the entire week. I was able to check my messages and get some reports written. The messages I received were pretty entertaining to say the least. Obviously word had spread through the ghetto that I wasn't to be fucked with. Out of all the calls I only received one empty threat. The rest were my clients reporting in, some left me messages to tell me they hoped I was okay, and most just rambling on about how I took down the South End Riders. I was like a ghetto superstar. I knew that really I just cleared the way for a new gang to take over, but at least they now knew they would never be indestructible.

On Edward's second day of therapy, I stopped over to Riley's house. I released him from the county jail three days after the incident. He opened the door a shaking mess and I wondered what was wrong. He ushered me inside as he looked around frantically.

"Riley, what's up?" He looked paranoid and it was making me nervous.

"_This! _This is what's up." He handed me the newspaper, and I suddenly knew what was wrong.

His booking photo was plastered on the front page of the paper with an article that followed. It described what had happened and his role in the entire situation. The facts were a little distorted, but the end result was the same; he was a rat.

"Oh, shit. Riley, we'll figure this out. I get it; it's not cool to be the rat."

"Ms. Swan, I would do it all over again, it's just I don't feel safe. I don't want to sound like a paranoid freak or anything, but sometime, somewhere, someone is going to fuck me up over this. It's like I broke the criminal code of ethics or some shit."

"Riley, let me figure this out. Don't worry about your job, and you don't have to report to my office, I'll come and see you here. How are your parents handling things?"

"They're, um, like really proud of me," he said shyly.

"They should be. You took down James, saved Lauren, and most importantly you saved the life of an FBI Agent. Let us handle this, Riley. Keep a low profile, and I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks, Ms. Swan."

I left his house in a pissy mood. The guy did something so selfless and honorable and now he was scared to live his life. I had to figure out what to do. The bad thing was that the FBI was planning on recognizing him as soon as Edward was feeling up to it. They were going to give him some sort of honor badge, and were holding a special luncheon for all of Edward's squad, a few chosen parole officers, and of course, Riley.

I had a feeling Riley was going to freak when he found out. It was my intention to tell him, but after seeing his reaction to the newspaper article, I chickened out.

Before I knew it, I was in the parking lot of the rehab center waiting on Edward. He looked flushed when he walked out and had a grimace on his face.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked as I opened the door for him.

"Hi," he said, as he gave me a quick kiss. "Yorkie called while I was in there. They're charging Tanya with being an accomplice to armed robbery. Apparently, James has been running his mouth and telling anyone who will listen that she was directly involved in all of it. He also called Riley a pussy, and without threatening him, implied that he better watch his back."

"Shit. Did you happen to see the paper by chance?"

"No, why?"

"There was a picture of Riley and an article talking about what he did. I just came from his house and he's scared shitless. They totally made him out to be the biggest rat, which is so not cool when you've been in prison."

"Fuck. Bella, Yorkie also told me that the prosecutor will most probably need him to testify against James."

I knew that would go over like a turd in a punchbowl. Riley would freak for sure.

We spent the night eating Chinese takeout in somber moods. I had no idea how I was going to convince Riley to testify, and the Adult Parole Authority to let him. They typically frowned upon it, and would then wonder why he wasn't back in prison for his association with known felons. It was a lose-lose for me. I let him sit in jail a few days for punishment, and he signed a written sanction that stated that as its reason. It wasn't really enough to send him back to prison for, but I'm sure if I pushed it they would've. They didn't care that he saved someone's life, only that he shouldn't have been there in the fist place. The fact of the matter was, Riley sold out James and saved Edward's life. It was my mission to make sure that he didn't get fucked for doing the right thing.

"Edward, we've got to do something," I whined.

"Bella, the FBI can't do much for him since he's under the state's supervision."

I knew he was right. The state was a son of a bitch when it came to other agencies stepping on their toes, especially the FBI. Edward's cell rang, and when he picked it up I could tell he was distraught.

"Edward, what is it?"

"Fuck. Yorkie said a team is going out to arrest Tanya right now. I feel bad for her. I know she was wrong for what she did, but we both know that she wasn't instrumental in helping James. She just got taken advantage of by that sick fuck."

I didn't really disagree, but she did screw said sick fuck. She even told him he could be the father and accepted money and baby shit from him. I did know that she wasn't involved in all of the robberies, much less the shooting.

An idea struck me, and I knew it was worth a shot. "Edward, I'm going to meet her at the station."

"Bella, no you're not. It's late, and no offense, but you're not her favorite person anyway. I'll go."

"Nope." I wasn't caving in to him. "_Edward, _I don't give a shit what time it is. You just had surgery. _You're_ the one who's not going. She may appreciate a familiar face even if she's not my biggest fan. _You _aren't going to the police station to make your ex-girlfriend and almost baby's mama feel comfortable."

I really wasn't insecure about him spending time with her; I just needed to convince her of some things and didn't want Edward to be the one to promise her anything.

"Fine." He gave me a dirty look and stormed off into the kitchen.

I followed behind him and was holding my breath. He was so fucking hot when he was pissed. I wasn't that big of a horn dog, but it had been a while.

"Edward, I know you'd rather be the one to _fix_ everything, but I'm sure your ASAC would be pissed if you involved yourself any further. Just trust me, okay?" I snaked my arms around his waist from behind and leaned my head on his back.

"Wake me when you get home?" he pleaded.

"You bet." Which really meant: 'no freaking way because you're still recovering from surgery and need to rest'.

I got into Edward's car, yeah, I know right, and headed downtown. My car was currently in the shop getting a fresh new paint job. I was super excited to see her without all the bad words.

I pulled my cell off the belt clip that Edward had Jazz drop off, and called Jake.

"Bells? How the hell are ya?"

"Pretty good. Hey, thanks for helping Riley out. I appreciate it. He's been through a lot and as much as this sounds crazy to my own ears, I didn't want the cops to freak him out too bad."

"No problem, anything for an old friend. So what's up?"

"Okay, so Tanya, as in Edward's ex, is being arrested for her involvement in the restaurant hostage thing. I'm on my way to the 4th district and was wondering if you could meet me there."

"Well, it's your lucky day. I've had the freaking flu and today was the first day I've felt worth a shit. I swear I had like a 108 degree temp at one point," he said with a laugh.

"Cool. Thanks, Jake."

I hung up and enjoyed the rest of my drive. Edward's car was kick-ass compared to mine. Well, most cars were, but his even smelled like him. I put the pedal to the metal and sang my guts out to Katy Perry. I slid his super sexy shiny Volvo into a spot at the department and walked inside.

I spotted Yorkie right away. He looked at me with his eyebrow raised as I walked over to him. "Bella,

um, hi. I guess Edward sent you?"

"Well, not particularly. I need to talk to her about a few things. Edward wanted to come, but I sent his injured ass to bed."

I proceeded to make small talk with Yorkie, going as far to compliment his outfit and his haircut. Thank God Alice had still been taking care of him. All of my schmoozing paid off. Tanya was a complete sobbing, bitchy mess and the officers weren't having any luck talking to her. I played the girl card and they agreed to let me talk to her. Talk only, they reminded me. I wasn't a cop, and she wasn't on parole.

I only hoped my little nothing of a plan would work. I pushed the door open and walked inside. She was sobbing and had her face buried in her hands. I took a seat across from her at the table, and was relieved that they had taken the cuffs off of her. How threatening would that have been? _Hi, it's me, the one who 'stole' your boyfriend, here to stare at you in handcuffs._ That would've sucked.

My mind was starting to ramble, just as my mouth did when I got nervous. I cleared my throat and she looked up.

"Wh...what are you doing here? Let me guess. You're here to gloat?"

"No, Tanya. It's not like that at all. I just have a few suggestions that I think you should hear. So, it's like this. Your baby is still in the hospital, you've got a guy at home who's totally into you, and now you're in a shit load of trouble."

"Get to the fucking point," she snarled.

"Simma down now," I said, Saturday Night Live style.

She stared at me with eyes as big as saucers. "No wonder why he loves you. You're a total goofball. Wait, is that why you're here? I mean seriously, I'm not going to bother you guys. I'm sitting in the fucking police station for crying out loud!"

"Tanya, I know. Listen, James has been telling the police that you were in on it all. The bank robberies are federal offenses so you'd face federal, as well as the state charges. I have a lawyer that should be here any minute. You need to have him cut a deal in exchange for your testimony against James."

"Oh my God, I can't go to prison! My daughter needs me, and I'm graduating from nursing school next month. Wait, shit, if I'm convicted of a felony no one is going to hire me. Can't I just use the lawyer to fight the charges?"

Shit. She had to testify against James because there was no way the state was going to let Riley. Even if they did, there was no way he was going to agree to it.

"Tanya, if you don't testify against James his charges may not hold up," I told a little white lie that was necessary. "You'll be blamed for more than you should be, and he won't get as much prison time."

"I don't know what I was thinking getting involved with someone like him in the first place. I mean, I guess Edward was just so _good_, that it honestly got a little boring. James seemed exciting at first. He acted like he was so into me and then we started hanging out after work, and drinking, and one thing led to another. We were together a few times and then he just started blowing me off like he had no use for me. I found out I was pregnant shortly after, but I didn't say anything until..." Tears stared falling from her eyes even though she was trying to hold them in.

"Go on," I urged, as I sat on the edge of my seat.

"He told me he needed my help. He promised to pay me, just to come in on my day off. I figured it was easy money, and once I agreed he started being so nice again. We hung out after work one night and he bought me a drink. When I turned it down he questioned it, and I told him the truth. Well, I sort of left out the Laurent part. It was scary. He calmly threw me five hundred dollar bills and told me to handle it. I took his money, but there was no way I was doing what he wanted me to."

She must've been thinking about her little girl because so were her boobs. Her shirt was becoming saturated with milk. She looked down and gasped.

"Um, here." I took off my sweatshirt and threw it to her. I watched as she wadded up a bunch of tissues and placed them inside her bra. She put my sweatshirt on and looked up at me with embarrassment. All I could wonder was how the hell the cops were going to handle that. They'd be horrified and uncomfortable for sure.

"Thanks. You know, as much as I want to hate you, I think if the circumstances were different, I could actually imagine hanging out with you. I obviously wasn't planning on hanging out here," she said, while motioning around the lackluster room. "So anyway, I started to wonder how a dishwasher had hundreds of dollars and started to question why he needed me to come in on my day off. James wouldn't give me a straight answer, so I told him no. He whipped out his phone and showed me pictures of us doing it. The sneaky bastard took pictures of me and threatened to show them to Edward and everyone at school. He offered me five-thousand dollars just to come in and said he'd handle the rest. So that's what I did. I had no idea I was going to be held hostage!"

"Wow. He's truly a creepy, sick fucker." I needed her to do what I wanted, so I was leaving the whole 'we could be friends' comment alone.

There was a knock on the door and in walked Jake. "Hi. You must be Tanya. I'm Jake, and I'll be handling your case."

I took that as my cue to leave. "Talk to you later, Jake," I said pointedly. "Tanya, take care, and don't for a minute let yourself forget that James is doing everything in his power to pin this on you."

I walked out and was greeted by a frantic Yorkie. "Bella, did she say anything to you? Never mind, I shouldn't know anyway. So did she?" He was pacing, and I had to put my hand on him to calm his jittery ass down. "We're fucked now because that lawyer friend of yours showed up out of nowhere. Now she's not going to say a fucking word." He looked up at me with questioning eyes.

"Yorks, things are going to be fine. You'll see." I was only hoping that was the truth or else we were all in for one hell of a cluster fuck. "Oh, and one other thing, Tanya needs something very important from her house. Think you can swing by there so that I can get home to Edward?"

"Sure, what?"

"Her breast pump." His mouth dropped open, and I couldn't help but laugh. "It's not going to jump out and bite you or anything, unless of course you want it to."

He looked at me like I was crazy, which only made me snicker harder. He was so damn naive, it was a hoot. I turned and walked out before the rest of the department interrogated me about Tanya.

I totally lawyered her up, which was a police officer's nightmare. I did what I had to do for Riley, and I guess Tanya, but most importantly to nail James to the wall.

"Bella, be careful. It's starting to rain and it's that..." Yorkie was yelling to me as I exited the building. I had no idea what he was trying to say until I stepped on what was surely an oil slick right outside the doors. I fell on my ass with a thud in the drizzle. I looked up at Yorkie who was suddenly beside me holding his hand out to help me up. "Super Ash."

"What?"

"The police department just got this new super asphalt that's slippery as hell when it's wet. Not such a good idea seeing as all it does is rain around here. Two patrolmen are already out with broken bones. Apparently, this new component of ashma0407 was used as the sealant, and it's more for like roller rinks and bowling alleys. Total fuck-up. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good, just a little pain in the ass." I was cracking myself up. All I could think of was that Esme and I would having matching bruised asses.

Yorkie's phone rang and he talked on it while escorting me to my car. "AJ04-Jtrs98. AJ04-Jtrs98. AJ04-Jtrs98. AJ04-Jtrs98. AJ04-Jtrs98."

Whomever he was talking to must've wanted to shoot themselves, and him. He hung up, and as I tried to speak, he held one finger up telling me to wait. He typed like a maniac into his phone and then looked a little more relaxed when he finished. "What the hell?"

"Ugh, that was my SAC. He wan..."

I didn't hear the rest because I was doubled over with the giggles like a teenaged boy. He again looked at me like I was a nutcase. "You said sack." Which again made me chuckle. I needed to grow the fuck up.

"My _boss _needs me to check on that license plate number. I didn't want to screw it up. Well, now that we're soaked, I guess I'll catch you later. Tell Edward I want to meet up when he's feeling better. I, uh, met someone, and I'd love for you guys to meet her. She's a teacher; grades12-09. It's so cute, I call her teacher1209." He was smiling like a lovesick puppy.

"Oh, Eric, that's great! I can't wait to meet her." God love him. He was such a dork, but seemed so giddy about his new girlfriend. I really couldn't wait to meet her.

I got into Edward's car and was kind of grateful he wasn't with me. I was in a good mood and could only imagine what kind of stress he would be trying to hide, as he watched me drip all over his genuine leather upholstery.

I pulled my phone out and dialed a number that I recently committed to memory. "Riley, do you have any family out of town? Think about it and call me in the morning." I left the message and hoped his answer was yes.

By the time I got to Edward's, I was soaking wet and freezing. I tiptoed into his bedroom and headed straight into the shower. I let the warm water cascade over my body and I may have adjusted the shower head accordingly. Let's just say that after I was done washing up, I was very interested in getting down.

I quietly slipped into bed naked, and hoped that Edward would feel my presence. I molded into him and subtly rubbed my marginally sore backside into the front of him. He nuzzled into my hair, and I continued to nuzzle myself into him. I felt movement down below and it was obvious he was starting to stir...parts of him anyway.

"Beautiful," he said in a sleep filled voice. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Are you up for it? Well, parts of you are," I said, as I grinded into his erection.

He was sort of stuck in position and couldn't really help much. One arm was trapped, and the other was pretty useless still. I snaked my arm behind me and pulled at his boxer briefs while he shimmied along with me.

When I felt his warm and throbbing cock press against my ass, my lady bits tingled themselves into a frenzy. I grabbed his ass check and squeezed. He moved so that he was lined up at my entrance, and I couldn't wait until he filled me up. The tip of his dick was teasing me, so I grabbed him, pulling until he was nearly inside of me.

He moaned, and I was happy he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. "Bella, wait." Shit, or so I thought.

"What's the matter?"

"It's about Tanya."

My blood was boiling, and I felt like punching him in his injury. "Edward, please tell me you're not thinking about Tanya as your dick is touching my vag!" What the fuck?

I was ready to move away from him until his body tensed up and he spoke. "No, baby, well not exactly. I..um..can we use something?"

"Edward, we've already been together. Does it really matter at this point?" I realized he was only trying to be responsible after learning what a skank she'd turned out to be. "If it makes you feel better."

"Thanks, Bella. I have some condoms in the nightstand. They're probably like five years old, but I don't know, do they expire? Don't look. I don't want to know."

I got out of bed and ruffled through the nightstand. I found some Magnums and climbed back onto the bed. Edward had rolled onto his back and was staring at me with lustful eyes. Always a bonus when someone sees you naked.

I ran my hands up his muscular legs and cupped his balls gently. I took him in my hand and brought it to my mouth. I teasingly licked the tip and swirled my tongue around the head. We made eye contact and he smirked at me. The same smirk that made me swoon, made me want to devour his dick. I stuck him in my mouth as far as I could, and licked my way back up.

He moaned in pleasure, and I needed to feel him inside of me. I ripped open the condom wrapper and hoped to hell I could figure out how to put it on him! I placed the smelly, slimy thing over the tip of _his_ thing and started to roll it down. I had flashbacks of high school health class and stifled a giggle.

I wanted him to feel good and needed to be careful not to lean on his chest or press on his arm. He must have sensed my slight hesitation because the next thing I knew he was playing with my nipple. His fingers lightly grazed my breast and then started to massage it. He moved to the next and rolled my other nipple between his fingers. It felt so good to have him touch me as I was rolling the disease-catcher over his erection.

I moved one of my legs over his thigh so that I was spread open on top of him. My body ached for him to be inside of me. He grabbed himself and aligned his enormous cock at my opening and we locked eyes as I slid down on top of him. He completed filled me up physically, as well as emotionally, and it was never more evident than at that moment. Careful not to put pressure on his wound, I leaned over and placed my forehead against his.

"Oh, God, Edward. I love you so much. I'm yours forever, and I can't even imagine my life without you in it," I breathed huskily.

He placed his hand at the base of my neck and started running it through my hair. "Bella, you fucking own me, and I'm the luckiest bastard I know." He pulled my hair enough so that my head arched up, and I was met with a feverish kiss full of passion and love.

I carefully placed my hands on either side of the mattress as not to hurt him and started to roll my hips. I was moving in a slow and circular motion, taking extra care to give my clit the friction it yearned for. Edward's face was filled with pleasure and he let out a soft moan. His hand found my ass and squeezed it pulling me even closer to him. I started moving faster and felt the familiar tingles that were my orgasm. I continued grinding on him and felt myself explode. I stayed still for a second until the waves of pleasure subsided and then got to work on Edward.

I used my arms to help me lift my body off of him until he was almost out, and then slammed down on top of him. I continued this a few times until I found a perfect combination of swirling and slamming. I felt like the queen of the rodeo because I sure as fuck would've won the world record in 'bull riding'. Hell, maybe I could change the sport to cock riding.

Edward's breaths started to increase, and I could tell he was close to cumming. I slowed my movements and turned my frantic fabulous fucking back into lovemaking. I kept one of my hands braced on the bed and placed the other in his hair. Our lips met in a strong kiss. Our tongues moved in sync, and Edward moaned into my mouth.

"Bella," he ground out. "I love you." He lost control, and his body rocked with his release.

I rolled off of him and he got up to clean himself up. I threw on my favorite FBI Seattle t-shirt and checked my phone. There was a text from Jake letting me know that Tanya was on board with making a statement against James in exchange for lesser charges against her. If need be, she even agreed to testify against him for a reduced sentence when things got moving in court. I hoped the police would be alright with that seeing as James was a much bigger threat. I wasn't so concerned since James was the head of the gang that shot at law enforcement officers. Jake had an excellent reputation, and now it was time for him to do his job.

I smiled as I put my phone away. Tanya was a thing of the past, and I wished her well for the sake of her baby and Laurent.

Edward climbed into bed and noticed the smile on my face. He gazed at me and smiled back as we cuddled up together in his bed.

**A special thanks to** **AJ04-Jtrs98, ashma07, xSuperAshx, and teacher1209** **for reviewing all the chapters at once!** **Jaydogrut was my 1,000 reviewer! If you have been here reviewing from the beginning, please let me know in your review for this chapter. Thank you all so much! I've hit my goal in reviews and think I may retire (well, probably not). **

**The 108 temp line was due to the fact that KitsuShel beat me with that answer in a tiebreaker playing TwiFicTrivia. If you haven't yet played, it's a riot. Tuesdays at 9Est. **

**Esme is up for an Avant Garde award. Please vote for her! **

**Thanks to Citizen_One (CitizenCullen25 on ffn, Lullaby and Goodnight: The Sleep Stalker), ashma0407 (All or Nothing) and SammieLynnsMom (Blind Intentions) for rec'ing my fic in thiers.**

**Thanks to IndieFicPimp and TwiFicPromotions who have also rec'd and reviewed this story. Thanks to all of the people who tweet and FB my updates! maxandmo on Twitter and Maxandmo Fanfiction on FB. **

**Have a Merry Christmas and a safe and happy New Year!**


	37. A Shooting Fowl

**Thanks to obsmama for pre-reading and susayq and sectretobsession7 for betaing this bad boy. You girls rock! Big Edward smooches to everyone who reads and rec's my stories:)**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**

**~Chapter 37~A Shooting Fowl**

**~Edward~**

The shrill sound in my ears was driving me in-fucking-sane. I reached over to the night stand to see that my phone was lit up to 'mom'. "Hello."

"Adios, Edward. Que pasa? This is your mother."

"Um, yeah, I got that. Hi." I stretched my legs and sat up. I didn't want to disturb Bella who was snoring softly beside me.

"So, I've got some free time today and was wondering what yous were up to. I feel like busting some caps. Bella needs the practice. Her supervisor cleared her to shoot today."

"Mom, please tell me you didn't call her supervisor! What the hell?" I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 8AM.

"Oh, Edward, relax dear. Jazz took care of it. He and Alicito are coming with. I know you're still recovering, but I hope you'll join us as well."

"Mom, I have to check with Bella. Can I give you a call back in a little while?" I yawned.

"Perfecto. Chow."

I pressed end on my phone and settled back down on the bed. For the first time in awhile my shoulder wasn't on fire. I was a little achy but otherwise okay. I wrapped my arm around Bella and drifted off to sleep.

I dreamt of Mexican mariachi men. There were a lot of them, and they had my condo surrounded. All of a sudden, they broke into a performance right in my driveway. It was loud, oh so fucking loud, and the noise was getting closer. Pink suddenly appeared and started singing about dirty little freaks with the Los New Mooners as her backups.

The sound of a car horn sent me bolting upright in bed. I rushed to the window and saw my mother in Emmett's Jeep. Her hair was no longer eggplant; instead a bright pink. She was jamming to Pink and shouting at the top of her lungs that she was 'too school for cool'. Emmett was bright red and hysterically laughing, while Baby Lopez was strumming his guitar.

"Bella, Bella wake up!" I yelled with urgency. Before long my neighbors were going to either call the police on the police, or at least gawk at the entertainment that was my mother.

"Edward, what the hell? Turn off the radio! What station is that anyways?" She pulled the blankets over her head to stop the racket.

"Baby, it's my mom and she's outside waiting for us to go shooting with her. _Please _wake up before the whole complex thinks they're under attack from a fucking ridiculous Pink impersonator."

Bella jumped out of bed and rushed to the window. She turned and looked at me with a grimace. "Wow."

"I know right! I'm going to kick Emmett's ass. I've got to bring them inside. Hurry up and get dressed." I gave her a quick slap on the ass and then rushed downstairs.

I opened the front door and my mother called me a dirty little freak. I seriously needed to talk to my father about slipping some meds into her yogurt, she was a lunatic. I got them to come inside and may have slapped Emmett in the back with my good arm. I had to, the fucker was sporting the biggest shit eating grin ever. "Morning, you little freak. ROTFLSHMSFOAIDMT."

"Fuck you, dude. So not cool. And dare I ask what the hell that means?" My slap didn't even faze the big bastard, he was still grinning.

He snorted and could barely spit it out without pissing himself. "Rolling on the floor laughing so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco. We just heard it on the Latin station your mom was sporting. Dude, I love her."

I focused on my mother who was walking around my place with a tape measure ordering her amigo around. I looked at her outfit and barely held in my laughter. She was totally channeling Beth. Beth, as in Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife. Her cleavage was standing at attention in her neon green form fitting stretchy shirt which happened to be covered by a fishing, turned tactical, vest. It had so many pockets on it, I was suddenly afraid of what one might find in them.

"Hi, Edward," she said, as she air kissed my cheeks. "Don't mind us. I need to see how big your rooms are."

I couldn't help but stare at my mom's tits, which was disturbing in and of itself, but I swore they looked like they'd been given a refresher course. I could feel myself start to turn red and hoped that Bella would make her appearance very soon. "Mom, why are you measuring?"

"I'm thinking your father and I should get one of these here condoms. Our house is much too big for just the two of us. I saw one for sale right up the street."

I could hear Emmett behind me chuckling and swore to myself that I was going to do something very evil to him. "Mom, they're called condos, condominiums to be exact. You mean like in my same complex?" I was all of a sudden thinking of killing my neighbor for trying to move, at the same thinking of possible people I could tell to buy it first. I could not live on the same street as my mother.

"Hi guys," Bella said, as she came down the stairs. Thank the Lord! "Edward, why is your mom taking measurements?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I answered with a whisper and an eye roll. Here goes nothing. "Are we ready to go?"

"Of course, dear, I was born ready. Vamanos, people."

"Yeah, vamanos buddy." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows, and I wanted to sucker punch him, not that he'd even notice, but still.

My mother tried to get us all to go together in the Jeep. Not happening. I told her my shoulder couldn't handle it, and Bella and I got into my car. Bella gave me a dirty look when I got into the driver's seat, but I was more than able to drive. Not to be mean, but I tended to get a little anxious when she was driving. It's not that she was a bad driver, I just felt more comfortable when I was behind the wheel of my baby. I loved my car, so what.

We arrived at one of the Seattle Police Department's many outdoor shooting ranges. It was a little cool, not terrible, and overcast; shocker. The rain was supposed to hold off at least. I pulled up besides Jasper's car, and as I looked around, I didn't see them. I looked over at Bella, who was suddenly six shades of red. She met my eyes and motioned with her head. Head. Head. Head. That was all I saw. Alice's head was bobbing up and down on the head of Jasper's dick.

I didn't know what to do. I was contemplating honking the horn, or else just pulling out of the parking lot. I was saved by the Esme. You could hear the Jeep's arrival for miles. It was still the traveling Mariachi Mobile, add a bit of Pink. I figured Alice would finish what she was doing, _literally_, but we weren't so lucky. She instead kept her head bobbing and added her hands in a 'raise the roof' salute. I'd never seen such a thing in my life. Bella clasped a hand over her mouth and looked at me with eyes as big as saucers.

I saw Emmett pull in the lot like a bat out of hell. He skidded to a stop, one of his trademark burn rubber moves, and we watched as Baby Lopez's guitar flew out of the Jeep and landed on the hood of Jasper's car with a thud. Bella gasped, and I just stared with my mouth hanging open. The music stopped and Alice sat upright wiping the corners of her mouth.

"Hells yeah!" exclaimed Esme. "Let's do this."

She got out of the Jeep and hugged an obviously upset Baby Lopez, while motioning to Emmett to retrieve his guitar. Emmett made his way over, immediately grabbing the guitar off of Jazz's car. "What the fuck? Dude! Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord, I wish you'd pull up your pants and put away your sword." Emmett was singing a perverse rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic at the top of his lungs, clearly unnerved by the sight that was Jasper's cock. His song choice wasn't the least surprising. The McCarty's were a patriotic, religious bunch.

Alice opened her car door and ran toward Emmett jumping on him in a straddling hug. "Hey Em!" He was still singing, but was silenced by a big kiss to his cheek.

He carried her to the range in a stunned, grossed out silence. I was glad that Bella and I grabbed a couple of cereal bars before we left. I couldn't have handled the show on an empty stomach. We wordlessly got out of the car and followed the nightmarish company we kept.

I had my gun strapped on my belt, as did Emmett and Jasper. Bella was carrying a small duffle bag full of her gear, while my mother was pulling, scratch that, Baby Lopez was pulling a medium sized suitcase that belonged to my family. I noticed an airport tag still attached to the base of it. I was thankful that we were the only people utilizing the range. Who knew what to expect?

My eyes locked on my girl as she opened her bag to get ready. She pulled off her hood exposing a couple of inches of skin around her waistline. I felt my dick twitch and knew that I had to be with her after we were done. She took off her belt, and to me it was like a personal striptease. My mouth went agape when she pulled her gun out and slid it onto her belt. It was fucking hot. I could totally imagine her wearing nothing else but her firearm while I shot my load, if you get my drift. I was horny. If it were up to me, our morning would've started out a lot more fun than being awoken to the dreadful sound of my mother.

Alice was bouncing up and down with excitement at the prospect of shooting a gun. I had to laugh at her skinny jeans and heels. "Alice, have you ever shot a gun before?" I was pretty positive I already knew the answer.

"No, but I've watched a lot of cop shows on TV. How hard can it be?"

Jasper moved toward her and was giving her safety instructions. I hoped she was paying attention, because all I noticed was her grazing his thigh and grabbing his ass. _She_ was the dirty little freak. Why the hell wasn't my mother singing that shit to her?

"Edward, come here and see what your father bought me."

Oh crap. I walked over to my mom as she was opening the suitcase. Inside were about three handguns and an enormous hunting rifle. "Mom, a hunting rifle?" I looked beyond the guns and saw a huge stack of targets. A few of them were pictures of Osama Bin Laden, but most were typical silhouettes. She pulled one out and handed it to me with a smile.

"Yes, Edward. Your father and I are trying to go organic." No way was my mother thinking that she was going to provide their _organic _food. I needed to have a man to man with my father, and soon. "Take a look at this. You can totally play this with Bella and see who'll get the prize. Your father and I made these up at home. Since he's never able to go shooting with me, we practiced our own version of shooting at home with nerf guns. Let me tell you, your father never misses his target when a night with me is at stake." She winked at me and licked her lips. My ears were on fire.

I looked at the target and saw that the points in the various areas of the body had been scratched out and replaced with the words 'lick', 'suck', 'bite' and 'pinch'. "Oh God," came out of my mouth as I dropped the silhouette to the ground. It was un-freaking-believable how she could even taint shooting a gun.

Bella rushed over and picked up the target. She looked at it with a twinkle in her eye. "Edward, it's time to compartmentalize your thoughts. Leave that compartment locked up," she said pointing at my mom, "and think of all the fun we could have later."

"I'm not going to make any promises, but I'll try."

I looked around and tried to think of the safest spot for us to be. I didn't want to be next to my mother, Mariachi Dude, or Alice. I situated Bella and myself in-between Emmett and Jasper. They at least knew what they were doing.

Jasper set up our targets and we all put on our eye protection and stuck our ear plugs in. Jasper stood behind Alice, for some hands on instruction, Emmett was on his own, and Bella and I were ready to roll. Thankfully Baby Lopez was in charge of loading my mom's extra magazines with ammunition.

I watched Bella line up to shoot and was thrilled when she landed two shots to the target's genital area that said 'suck'. Sweet. I was next, and felt like being a show off. I landed a shot to each side of the chest, one to the head and one to the genitals for a grand total of 'bite', 'pinch', 'suck', and 'lick'. I turned to Bella and gave her a kiss, whispering in her ear that she was in for it later.

Mom interrupted my dirty talk with a loud and obnoxious throat clearing. Everyone stopped and stared at her. "Watch and learn, amigos. Watch and learn."

She pulled out two guns, one in each hand, out of their holsters and shot like she was starring in an old Western. Some hit targets, hers or other people's, some hit the ground in front of her, some made holes in the earth behind the targets, and some just landed hell knew where.

The six of us just stared wide eyed as she dropped her magazines and reloaded.

"Whoa. Dude, that's hot." Emmett was met with my elbow after that comment.

"Fuck yeah," Alice screamed.

"Arriba arriba, die motherfuckers." With that, she continued shooting up the entire range.

At least she wasn't totally unsafe. A little trigger happy and a lot excited, yes, but unsafe, not really. She looked a bit spent after her tirade and took a break to eat the breakfast that her amigo had spread onto a blanket for her. She ran shit.

The rest of us continued shooting. I was sticking with my good arm, mostly because I wanted to be as functional as possible for later. About the time my mom was done eating, the rest of us were done shooting. Emmett went to the vending machine and returned with a vast array of snacks for those of us not privy to the private breakfast picnic.

We commandeered the blanket as they were making their way back to the range. I'm not going to lie; it was both entertaining and uncomfortable watching my mother get doted over by a large Mexican man in a sombrero.

She pulled out the hunting rifle, and I cringed. The rustling of the junk food wrappers came to a halt as she lined up to shoot with a gun that was nearly her size. "Oh, shit," Emmett muttered as he stared at her.

She pulled the trigger on the semi-automatic weapon which sent bullets flying. The kick back from the powerful gun forced my mother onto her ass. She was pointed toward the sky and still shooting. We all covered our heads and I wish I would've been smart enough to cover my eyes. The next thing we knew there was a 'pop' sound and we were splattered with feathers and I could only guess what else. The bullets stopped and everything was eerily silent.

"Slam slam, oh hot damn," she yelled from the ground. "What part of party don't you understand? Carlisle is going to be so proud of me; I've landed my first kill. Lopez, get something to take that home in."

Holy hell. The five of us stood up slowly and started to gather our things. It was time to go. I walked over to my mother and took the rifle away from her placing it back in the suitcase. "Alright mom, great seeing you. Have a good day." I gave her a hug and turned to leave.

"Oh, no you don't. I promised your father that we'd all meet him for lunch at D's."

I hadn't been to the pizzeria in awhile, and I desperately needed to talk to my father. "Sounds good."

Everyone agreed with me so we headed downtown. Bella waited until we got into my car to completely let her laughter out. "I totally didn't want to be rude, but she's a hot mess, Edward."

"I know. Seriously, I don't remember her being that bad. Maybe I blocked it out or something. Bella, what the hell will I do if she moves down the street from us?"

The word 'us' flew out of my mouth naturally, and before I realized what it implied. I wished Bella would just stay, but in all reality I had no idea how much longer she was planning on staying. We hadn't had that talk yet, and all I was going on was what Alice said. I'd been too much of a chicken-shit to bring it up. I guess I was sort of assuming that she'd end up bringing more and more stuff and just end up moving in. Bella was not Tanya, and that's totally not how she would do things. Deep down I knew that, I just preferred to live in my happy little bubble for awhile longer.

Before I could explain myself, she began to speak. "Um, yeah. That would stink. I mean, she's great, but probably a little embarrassing as a neighbor."

Wow, she didn't freak out! Here goes nothing. "Bella, you know I want you to stay with me, right?"

"I am staying with you," she answered coyly.

"I mean for good. Alice told me your lease is up soon, and that you guys haven't renewed it yet. Think about it, you're already settled; you'd just have to move your big stuff in. My basement is empty, and we could just store your stuff down there."

"Edward, that's just it. I don't want my stuff _stored_ anywhere. It's _your_ place. A place you shared with _her. _Call me crazy, but I always envisioned that when I moved in with someone we'd be in a place that was ours. We'd make it our home, and start out together. It's probably stupid, but I don't know, it's just important to me. I'd always feel like I was just sleeping over at your place, and like Tanya's presence would be looming over us." She was furiously picking her nails and looked so distraught.

"I get it, I do. I already explained to you how Tanya came to live there, and you know how bad the market is right now. I can't possibly sell it, and I refuse to rent it out. I just want us to be together, Bella. Having you stay with me has been perfect. I can't even imagine not spending a night with you, and it's such a waste of money for the both of us to pay to live somewhere."

"Edward, I want to be with you too. I just don't see how that's possible right now. We can take turns at each others places or something," she offered weakly. "We can still be together every night. Plus, you haven't even said we should move in together. It's always stay at my place, or live with me. I need it to be ours, and I'm afraid it never would be."

I pulled up to Demetri's and parallel parked in front. We walked in together, and I was thankful for the distraction. I could see where she was coming from a little, but if it meant that much to her, she could scatter some of her shit around. Yes, I wanted her to live with me that bad. She had a point. I always did say live with me and used words like mine. I just never gave it a thought.

"Hiya, Edward. Hiya, beautiful! I've missed you guys!" Demetri gave me a slap on my bad shoulder and I winced. "Oh,Edward, I'm sorry. I forgot about you getting yourself shot up."

"It's getting better day by day," I answered, as I tried to swallow down the throbbing pain.

He led us to a table where my father was waiting. "I'll be back with your drinks."

"Hi, Edward." He stood up and gingerly hugged me. "Where's the rest of the gang?"

"They're on the way. I'm sure we'll hear them way before we see them."

My father gave me a confused look, but I didn't bother explaining myself as I knew he'd find out sooner rather than later.

"Perfect. Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Yeah, well me too." I needed to warn him that my mother was planning on feeding him organic bird.

"Your mother and I want to downsize, and I wanted to talk to you before I put the house up for sale."

"She told me. Really, Dad, no offense but I really don't want Mom for a neighbor."

He let out a chuckle. "I can't imagine why not. I have a proposition for you."

Before he could explain, the windows of the restaurant shook with bass signaling their arrival. The minute the five of them walked in, Esme held her hand up and stated, "Raise your glasses."

The entire restaurant held their glasses up in obedience. "Cheers," shouted Demetri. "Hola, Mama Cullen." They hugged and he led the group to our table.

After a delicious lunch, my father was the first to leave as he had to get back to work. He told me he'd give me a call when he got a chance. Bella, Jasper, and Emmett decided they should be seen in their office, so they headed there together. Alice volunteered to drive my mom and Baby Lopez, which left me alone.

I called Yorkie, who was in the office, and decided to go and hang out with him for a bit. I walked into my office like a famous person. Everyone converged on me at once. It made me feel good, as people I didn't even know were voicing their concern. I was finally old news and got to visit with Yorkie in peace. He was on cloud nine and went on and on about the high school teacher he was dating. I was happy for him, and told him we'd all get together very soon.

After a pretty long visit, I headed home. I couldn't wait to relax. I knew I'd overdone it for the day. As I threw on some sweats, my cell rang.

"Hi, son. Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, Dad, perfect timing. I just got home."

"Okay, so your mother and I have decided to move as I told you earlier. Edward, what are your feelings about the house you grew up in?"

"Are you asking me if I'd be all emotional if you sold it? I mean I love it and all, but you have to do what you feel is right."

"Well son, what I feel is right is for you to buy it. When your mother told me how much she loved the area your condo is located in, and when her measurements measured up, it dawned on me that we should switch. All of the belongings we care to bring would fit, and I would look into having the basement finished of course, but all in all it would be perfect. Oh, and before you comment, I am well aware of what your mother thought condominiums were called."

"Wow, Dad, I don't know what to say. I mean, I hoped one day I'd be able to afford a house like yours. The location is incredible. I mean to have a nice big yard while in a neighborhood setting is priceless. I can't just let you trade me."

"Edward, you're my only child. You'll end up with it anyways. I'd much rather see you enjoy it and hopefully fill it up _someday_." He enunciated someday, meaning he was relieved that it wasn't right now. I understood what he meant completely.

"Dad, I still owe a lot of money on my place. I can't just take your house and make you pay for mine."

We talked for awhile longer, as I walked around trying to figure out if I really wanted to leave my first home. I guess it was a strange situation since I'd be leaving the first home I purchased to go back to the first home I remembered. I told him I'd think it over and as he was hanging up, I told him he needed to be wary of anything my mom tried to cook him for dinner. He laughed and hung up.

I sat on the edge of my bed with a decision to make. The timing wasn't the best, and I did love my place. On the other hand, I couldn't fathom strangers living in my parents' house.

I picked up the phone to call Bella and suddenly it wasn't such a hard decision, and the timing wasn't so poor.

**a/n: Okay…we're winding down with probably one chapter to go. I hoped you liked Esme on the range! If you're not playing TwiFicTrivia on Tuesday nights at 9Est on Twitter, you're missing out on some fun times!**

**I'm Maxandmo Fanfiction on Facebook and maxandmo on Twitter. Come say hi!**

**I respond to everyone who reviews!**

****A special thanks to UkAlice who has been around from the beginning, reviewed every chapter, and gave me the 'ROTFLSHMSFOAIDMT' that she really heard on the radio!**


	38. That's All She Wrote

**Thanks to my betas susayq and secretobsess7 and my pre-readers obsmama and Dinx219. You girls are the best and I am so happy I met you! A special thanks to lotusblosm for introducing me into facfiction by way of a little story called Clipped Wings and Inked Armor. This is the final chapter and there probably won't be an epilogue unless something that desperately needs written hits me. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

**~Chapter 38~That's All She Wrote**

**~Bella~**

Being back in my office was bittersweet. I was happy to be back in my workplace, yet all of the shit piled up on my desk was starting to give me anxiety. Em and Jazz were planning on hanging out for a little while, so I had plenty of time to take care of the most pressing matter: Riley.

I sorted through the mass on my desk as fast as I could to look for the paperwork that was supposed to have been delivered that morning. When I found it, I breathed a sigh of relief. Cleveland, Ohio was a far cry from Seattle, Washington. Far enough away that Riley could have a real chance at a new beginning.

Victoria Marcus was listed as his aunt, and all of her information was complete. I booted up my computer so I could check her record, praying that it was squeaky clean. When the information I checked was verified, I filled out nearly seven pages of forms recommending that his parole be switched to the State of Ohio for supervision. I then typed a letter explaining how important the transfer was, and then scanned the newspaper article to show them that staying in Washington was a threat to his well being. I was hoping that the fact he saved an FBI Agent's life would hold some merit.

"Bella. BELLA!" Emmett was leaning against my office door with his arms crossed.

I was startled out of my concentration and banged my leg on my fucking desk. "Fuck nuts, what's with the creeping around?"

"Bella, holy hella. I've been standing here for like three whole minutes. Geez. Why so serious?" Oh no, Esme had gotten to him. He sang the last question Pink style. "Vaminos bambino."

"Em, really?"

"I can't help it. I flove her. I'm telling you what, if Rose ever gets sick of my ass, and Carlisle decides to practice medicine in a third world country, she's all mine." He had a far away dreamy look on his face.

"Ew, Emmett! She's Edward's mother." His obsession was ridiculous.

"He'll be calling me daddy!"

I hit send on the transfer documents, and then got up to give Em a smack.

Jasper seemed uncomfortable the entire car ride to Edward's. I was wondering what was up his ass, until Emmett congratulated him on his new roommate. I was somewhat surprised, until I saw Jasper cringe at his words. Maybe he hadn't told Alice yet.

"Sorry, dude."

"What? I won't tell Alice, if that's what you're worried about." I could keep secrets…well sometimes anyway.

"She already knows. You'll have to talk to her about it." He turned the radio up, signaling the end of conversation. He was acting way weird. I'd just have to ask Alice like he said.

I said my goodbyes as they dropped me off at the door. The condo was silent, but I saw Edward's keys hanging up in the foyer, meaning he was hopefully resting upstairs. I tiptoed upstairs and found him lying in bed looking so peaceful. I turned to leave and knocked into his dresser sending a glass tumbling to the ground. "Fuckers." I bent down to pick it up, hoping I didn't wake him up, and thankful that the glass was empty, and intact.

"Who's here?" came a sleepy voice from the bed.

"Sorry, baby. I was trying to be quiet." I sat on the edge of his bed and started rubbing his back.

"That's alright. I didn't want to sleep all afternoon anyway. I called you. The doctor's office called and I'm clean."

I took the phone off of my belt and saw that I had missed a few calls. Alice, my father, and Edward had called. I wondered how I missed them and then saw that my ringer was set to off.

"That's a relief! Shit, my ringer was off. Sorry, I was busy filling out Riley's transfer papers. He has an aunt in Cleveland that seems perfect. Hey, has Jazz said anything to you about a roommate? He was acting all weird because Emmett mentioned it in front of me. Well, Alice called so I'm going to call her back."

"Bella, I wanted to run something by you," Edward said as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Okay," I answered as I dialed Alice. "Hey, Al. Sorry, I just saw that you called. I had my damn ringer off. You should feel privileged; I'm calling you back before my dad, who I haven't talked to all week, by the way."

Edward moved past me and walked to the bathroom. He seemed annoyed, but I needed to find out what was up with my girl. She was small talking and I wanted to just ask her but I could barely get a word in edgewise. I started daydreaming until I heard the words 'Volturi' and 'Los New Mooners'.

Apparently, Esme had gotten them a gig for that weekend. They were going to play for happy hour, and the plan was to stay and hang out afterward. I got the shivers when I thought of what transpired the last time we went there, but I was pretty positive Tanya's ass would be at home with her family.

Alice's conversation went to outfits, hair and makeup, and then she cut me short when Jasper arrived at our apartment. She hung up before I had the chance to figure out what was going on. It wasn't really my business anyhow; I just couldn't help but be overly curious.

Edward came out of the bathroom as I was dialing my father. I left him a message, figuring he was at work, or most likely hanging at the bowling alley. I missed him and owed him a visit in the very near future.

He was a nervous wreck ever since he found out what had transpired with the South End Riders. Jacob sent his father all of the articles and my dad was pissed and hurt that he found out from someone else. It wasn't that I was trying to hide it from him; I just knew that he would freak out, and I was hoping to tell him in person. The only thing that kept him from driving to Seattle immediately was a bowling tournament. They took that shit seriously in Forks.

Edward was standing up looking very anxious and a lot annoyed. He was fidgeting and yanking on his hair. It was getting on my nerves. "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh, um nothing. I just wanted to talk to you about something my dad said."

"Oh no, he's not pissed at Emmett is he? Shit, I told him he was being ridiculous. Maybe you should talk to him."

"What? No."

My phone rang and it was my dad. I mouthed "Charlie" to Edward and sat down to answer his million questions. Edward went downstairs to do hell knows what. I must have talked to my dad for nearly an hour, because it was dark when I hung up. I promised to visit him the following weekend and hoped that Edward would come with me. Speaking of Edward, my stomach growled and I wondered what he wanted to do for dinner.

As I made my way downstairs, I noticed a soft glow coming from the kitchen. I found it strange and wondered if the power was out. "Edward?" I followed the light and was nearly brought to tears by the sight before me.

Two candelabras holding ivory candles adorned a perfectly set table. The faint smell of roast beef lingered in the air, and Edward was standing in front of the oven wearing a Hawaiian patterned apron. My hand flew to my heart, as I'd never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. He turned and looked at me, flashing his ever so sexy smile and my heart fluttered.

"Hey."

"Hi. This is beautiful," I said motioning around the kitchen.

"Take a seat, my love." He moved to the table and pulled out a chair for me before I could even blink.

I looked up to see a vase full of my favorite star gazer lilies sitting on the table. "Oh, Edward. These are my favorites, they're so beautiful." I leaned toward them to take in their scent. "Heavenly." I wasn't sure how I missed them when I first walked in.

I suddenly felt underdressed and wished I would've showered, or at least changed clothes. As I stared at my handsome boyfriend busy at work with our dinner, I was awestruck. He was it for me. I suddenly became very anxious and before long I was sure to pit out my shirt. I snuck a rub of said area and smelled my hand to make sure my nervousness wasn't evident by smell.

I thought back to the way Edward was acting when I got home. He was nervous, anxious and wanted to talk to me. He looked annoyed while I was on the phone, and then surprised me with the elaborate dinner set-up. I sucked in an audible deep breath.

"Did you say something?" the fuck-hot cook asked.

"Um, nope. I'm just stopping to smell the roses...errr...lilies." Shit, I hoped he believed my rambling.

Was he planning on engaging me? No, surely he wasn't. It was too soon, wasn't it? We loved each other and had been through pretty stressful events together, but it was too soon, right? What would I say? Yes, but isn't it too soon? Yes. Yes, but I'm homeless. I couldn't fathom saying no. My leg was bouncing so hard I rattled the table. I dabbed my sweaty forehead with my fancy napkin and proceeded to pick at my non-existent nails. What else could it be, and how the hell was I going to choke down my dinner without freaking the fuck out?

Edward poured me a glass of wine, which I gulped down the second he turned his back. With an eyebrow raised he poured me another as soon as he noticed. "Stressful rest of your day, sweetheart?"

"Just thirsty I guess." _Keep your cool. Keep your cool Mrs. Cullen Swan, shit Swan Cullen, or maybe just Cullen, definitely no hyphen cuz that's just a pain in the ass. Really, he hadn't even asked yet and I was already running to social security to change my name. _

Edward returned to the table with two heaping plates full of roast beef, mashed potatoes, and glazed carrots. It smelled delicious but there was no way I was going to be able to eat without upchucking all over the fine linen.

I needed to settle down and not ruin this for him. I felt hot and glanced back at my armpits to make sure there weren't any sweat rings yet. "Babe, are you okay? You look a little flushed."

"I guess the next time I'm thirsty I should drink some water." I smiled weakly at my attempt to assure him that I was alright. "Geez, I already have to use the bathroom."

I stared in the mirror and tried to calm down. I had a cool, wet washcloth plastered to my sweaty forehead, and I was dabbing my armpits with toilet paper. Thank God the ever anal Edward had his medicine cabinet stocked. A little mouthwash couldn't hurt and neither could some good ole Right Guard, because, you know, anything else would be uncivilized. I left the bathroom refreshed, smelling a little like a dude, but refreshed nonetheless.

"You okay?"

"Yep, I'm greaaaat." Fuck, I sounded like Tony the Tiger.

Edward just looked at me and chuckled softly. "Bella, you never cease to amaze me."

He began eating and I just stared at his mouth as he chewed, watching his strong jaw flex with the movements. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him, and I also knew that I didn't want to be engaged for a million years. I still couldn't stop the thought of 'it's too soon' from entering my head though.

I ate as if on autopilot, thankful that my nervous stomach was accepting the food. We sat there in a comfortable silence, though I could tell something was obviously on his mind. As soon as I pushed my plate away he was up in a flash clearing it away. He then got on his knees next to my chair and grasped my hand.

My heart started beating erratically, and I was sure I was going to pass out. He licked his lips nervously, and it took everything I had from spouting out an inappropriate comment.

"Bella, you know how I feel about you, about us, right?" I met his eyes and nodded, which led him to continue. "I want us to be together for always, and at least as much as possible. You make me a better man, the kind that I've strived to be my entire life. I envision a future with you, something that I've never done with anyone else. You've stood by my side when I didn't deserve anyone, especially someone like you. Bella, an opportunity has presented itself and I truly think it will be the best thing for our future and the future of _our _family, the family that I hope to have with you someday."

"Edward?" I wasn't going to lie, I was a little confused.

"Bella, I want us to buy a house together. Not just any house, but the house I grew up in. It's perfect to raise a family in, and I think you'll love it. In fact, I'm sure you'll love it. I never thought I'd be able to afford something in that neighborhood, but my dad is willing to sell it to us for what I owe on this place. My parents are interested in living here and wanted to see what we thought before putting theirs on the market."

Phew. Wait, I didn't feel relieved, or disappointed, just a little bit thrown for a loop. We could actually live together in a house that _we_ bought. I couldn't wait to see it. It was the perfect next step in our relationship. I was sure it was worth way more than it would be sold to us for, and though I wasn't one for handouts, I wasn't a dumb ass either. It was a lucky break and the most perfect timing!

I looked at Edward who was still on bended knee waiting from my response. "Yes! Yes, Edward! That's perfect." It didn't matter to me that I had never even seen the house; I knew I wanted to go for it. Go for it I did, as I launched myself at him knocking him to the floor and ravishing him with all I had.

We were in the midst of a clothes shedding frenzy when he stopped and looked at me quizzically. "Bella, you smell like a man."

"Better that than the alternative." I shrugged and we got back to our wrestling match on the kitchen floor.

Once our quickly satisfying sealing of the moving in together for real deal was done, we got into the car to check out his parents' house. Edward promised that we could redecorate together if we so decided, and then specifically said that we were not to accept the dining room set even if they insisted on it. I tried to ask what the reason was but he just shivered and told me to use my imagination.

We'd been driving maybe ten minutes when Edward pulled off of the busy two lane road onto a winding street that seemed to weave into a neighborhood. The houses were large and set apart from each other perfectly. I couldn't stand how houses these days were built so close together you could practically hear what they were doing inside.

The driveways in this neighborhood were filled with high end SUV's and the lawns looked perfectly manicured. The street lights were bright and there were still kids playing outside. I loved it. He pulled into the driveway and I gasped at the beautiful house in front of me. It was a dark red brick with black shutters and a huge front porch with two rocking chairs.

Edward turned the car off and looked over at me expectantly. "Well?"

"Holy shit, Edward. It's beautiful! The whole neighborhood is beautiful. I fucking love it!"

Carlisle was at the door before we even got out of the car. "Hi kids, what a nice surprise. It's a good thing your surprise didn't happen say ten minutes ago." He looked at his watch, and when I noticed his disheveled appearance I could guess the reason. Edward's cheeks were instantly pink.

"You two are dirty little freaks!" Sometimes things flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Edward groaned and Carlisle chuckled as he led us into the house. I stood in the foyer and gaped at my surroundings. So far I was mentally moving in all of our shit and making a list of what we needed to buy. Esme's color choices were a little bold for my taste, but surprisingly nothing was completely out of control.

We heard grunting from what I guessed was the great room. Edward stopped dead in his tracks, but I had a mind of my own. I mean Carlisle was dressed and obviously _finished_, so I couldn't imagine he would have left her to take care of her own business...literally.

"C'mon Edward. Don't be a puss, things aren't always as they seem." I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me...you know, in case things were as they seemed.

To our relief she was in the midst of a game of Wii tennis, hence the grunting. We stood side by side silently watching as she was actually pretty damn good. Edward sneezed which caused her to turn toward us in mid swing. Before I could register what was happening an object came flying at us. Edward was frozen in place and the split second it took for me to glance at him made it so that I was defenseless as the controller hit me smack dab in the stomach.

"Umph. Shit." The breath was knocked out of my lungs causing me to double over. All my eyes could register in between my huffing and puffing was the hot pink controller lying on the floor.

"Oh noes, Bella. Are you alright? Carlisle is going to spank me for not securing the strap around my wrist. Carlisle!" she shouted. "Come quick and give Bella the Heimlich. I think she's choking on the Wii. Oh, and when you're done you get to spank me for being very naughty."

"Mom! That's enough. Bella got the wind knocked out of her; she's not choking."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry."

I looked up at her and weakly smiled. "It's okay," I managed to whisper. I also managed to realize that her shirt was on inside out. I'll be damned if they weren't sex fiends.

I felt hands from behind me lift me up. "No, dad! She's fine, really." Carlisle stopped in mid motion and we had an awkward moment of him with his hands wrapped around me holding onto my girls. Edward's father was grabbing my freaking boobs. "Dad," Edward cleared his throat.

All four sets of eyes moved to his hands. The most disturbing part was that he was so handsome I had to keep from shimmying myself back and forth.

"Oh. Um, sorry." He made sure I was balanced and removed his hands. "Edward." He winked at him in obvious appreciation of my chest.

Kill me now. Esme walked up and gave Carlisle a smack on the ass. "Bella, let me show you around."

"Alright, sounds like a plan." I followed behind her leaving Edward and his booby grabbing hot father to discuss their finances.

"Bella, I'm so excited for you and my son to make this home your own. We have a lot of great memories here, and I pray that someday you can say the same. Now here is where the magic happens."

I tentatively stepped into what was surely the master bedroom. "Holy shit," I whispered to myself. Their bed, most definitely king sized, sat in the middle of the room, and when she flipped on the lights it looked like a shrine. The lighting had a slight reddish hue to it and shone perfectly on the bed. The bedding perfectly matched the curtains and a rather large area rug, which adorned the floor. The pattern was purple cheetah and the material looked like silk. I swear I'd seen robes like that in those racy catalogues.

Once I got past the decor, and the odd looking hammock apparatus that hung in the corner, I realized the room was giant for a bedroom. "Bella, unfortunately we will be taking the love swing. Carlisle just can't stand to be without it." Esme pointed to the corner, and I suddenly realized it wasn't a hammock after all. The dirty birds had a sex trapeze swing! I'd only seen those in the same catalogs as the cheetah robes. "Don't you just love how the carpet matches the drapes?'

She did not just say that. I felt myself blush, but replaced it with snark. "Oh, Esme it's okay. We've got one on backorder, and I totally prefer my carpet to match my drapes."

She smiled and led me through the rest of the house. "Believe it or not, I used to be a lot more old fashioned about this sort of thing; this living together before marriage stuff. Fortunately for you, my dear, my son almost knocked up that trash, and we like you. Plus, you don't have to feel like he's getting your milk without buying you, the cow, because he loves you and I'm pretty positive he plans on buying you real soon."

Wait, she just called me a cow and then said Edward was buying me and getting my milk? The woman never ceased to confuse the shit out of me.

We met back up with the guys and Edward flashed me a smile letting me know that they had come to a decision.

We said our goodbyes and promised to see them at Volturi.

The minute we got into the car I had to reveal my discovery. "Edward, did you know your parents have one of those trapeze swings in their bedroom?"

"Yep. My father swears it's for some sort of new age physical therapy for his back," he responded as he rolled his eyes. "They offered to demonstrate, and I had to draw the line. So what'd you think of the house?"

"Incredible. We could have like four kids and still have enough room." Four kids? Where the fuck did that come from? I could even hear myself being introduced as Sammie Lynn's mom. I needed to get a grip.

Edward just smiled as I continued to ramble on about the yard, the finished basement, and the neighborhood. We decided that he would pay the mortgage and I would be responsible for the utilities, both of us splitting groceries.

"So, when do you want to move?"

"Well this weekend we'll be at Volturi, and next weekend I'm hoping you'll come with me to Forks to meet my father."

"Of course I'll come with you. I can't wait to meet your father. Alright then, three weeks and we'll be moving onto our new house."

xxxxx

Alice and I met at our apartment to get ready for our night out. The two of us had been so nervous to tell each other that we were moving in with our boyfriends, that we had been avoiding the subject and each other for a few days. We had finally just shouted it out at practically the same time, followed by relief, screams, and fits of laughter when I went to get my brows attacked by Rose. The good thing was that our locations in relation to each other would actually be closer with the moves.

Alice told me what I was wearing before I even asked. It was out of my comfort zone, but Edward and I needed a night out, and her choice was hot. She pulled the over the knee boots she had bought me out of the box and inspected them. I couldn't help but giggle as they were almost as tall as she was. "Bella, kindly shut the fuck up and put these on please."

I did as she said and had to laugh at myself wearing them with workout shorts. She threw the rest of my outfit at me and ordered me to get dressed.

I came out of the bathroom feeling like a classy hoochie mama. I had on what looked like a skirt but actually had a crotch, kind of like shorts but they looked like a skirt. Well, you get my drift. Most importantly they were short, but my ass wasn't hanging out. The shirt was an off white and very silky sleeveless number that had a high neck. It was super sexy considering the fact that there was no cleavage showing. The boots were fuck-hot, and I planned on wearing them and only them for Edward when we got home.

"Al, I'm going to miss you. Promise me we'll still have girl's nights and sleepovers." I was going to miss the shit out of her. I realized that our lives were headed in whole new directions; grown-up directions. This was serious stuff. We were moving in with guys that we loved and foresaw futures with.

"Oh Bella, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried." She ran to hug me but stopped short because she didn't want to wrinkle my shirt.

Rose picked us up and we headed downtown. She seemed nervous and wasn't her usual bitchy, confident self. "What's up with you," Alice probed.

"Emmett has been acting really fucking weird and it's stressing me out. He insisted that I go with you guys, no offense, and has been pretty much blowing me off. He's even been cleaning up after himself and doing dishes and shit."

"Does he have a fever?" I was trying to lighten the mood, but I was really freaked out that he'd taken his Esme obsession way too seriously.

"He's my everything, and I'm so fucking scared that he's over this whole thing." She motioned to herself and I was hoping she'd put her hands back on the wheel.

She looked so devastated, and I felt terrible.

Once we arrived I was about to pull out my badge when Alice pushed in front of me flashing a special Los New Mooners pass. The place was more crowded than usual due to the addition of many Mexicans. I hoped Edward was mentally ready for a potential Esme nightmarish evening. I thought once he spotted my boots nothing would be able to taint the evening.

The Los New Mooners were just about to start playing when we walked inside. I looked around for the guys but couldn't find them anywhere. The place was filling up so we grabbed the first table we found. Esme spotted us and waved as she continued to scurry around doing hell knows what for the band.

Alice ordered some drinks and Rose sat somberly fidgeting. I was feeling pretty good. My stress level was at an all time low, my sex life rocked, and I was totally in love with a man who was hotter than fuck. Yorkie and his teacher girlfriend, whose name was actually Pam, well Pam B. to be exact, pulled up some chairs and joined us. A bell sounded and Esme took the stage, mic in hand.

"Adios friends. This is a big night for The Los New Mooners. Thank you all for coming out and I hope you enjoy the show. Not only do we have a new member of the band, Dinx, we have a surprise performance to start off the show. Without further ado, Em Mac."

The three of us stared at each other in confusion and disbelief. Our eyes immediately darted back to the stage to see Emmett in a suit with his hair slicked back and a microphone in his hand. I guess the Battle Hymn of the Republic was just a warm up. The Los New Mooners played behind him and I recognized the music at once.

Emmett locked eyes with Rose and started singing Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars. I watched her face as she realized the beautiful words were meant for her. She was at a complete loss; emotions were written all over her face. His was a pretty damn good singer and tears were silently falling from her eyes.

He made his way off of the stage and stood right in front of our table serenading her as if she was the only one in the place. He grabbed her hands as he finished the last chorus. I felt hands on my shoulders and even knowing it was Edward couldn't make me turn away from them for even a second. I placed my hands over his and watched as Emmett got down one knee in front of the love of his life. Baby Lopez retrieved the microphone from him and they continued to play background music.

The entire bar erupted into applause and cheers when they saw what was happening. Strangely enough it gave them a sense of privacy since no one else could hear what he was saying to her. I watched as he pulled out a ring and placed it on her finger. I could read her lips shouting 'Yes' and then she was in his arms in an instant. I was so touched by his proposal that tears were running down my face. Alice was sobbing while holding onto Jasper and Carlisle and Esme were clapping.

Once they were done hugging, Rose got up and showed us her ring. It was a gorgeous princess cut diamond that was at least two karats. Her face shined with radiance and she looked so incredibly happy. "I guess I know why he's been acting so strange."

A round of shots were sent over, and we all stood up and toasted to Rose and Em Mac's engagement. I took a look at Edward's outfit and was instantly wet for him. He was wearing a dark grey button down shirt with the cuffs rolled up, dark wash distressed jeans and his hair was styled perfectly to look like he'd just woken up. He had a new black Nixon watch on and a thick black leather bracelet on his other wrist. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised wondering when he had escaped to the mall.

"Online shopping rules," he declared.

The look on his face when he saw my outfit was priceless. He licked his lips and was speechless as he eyed my boots. He ran his hands up and down my bare arms sending chills through my body. I could see the raw emotion in his eyes and was sure that he could see the same in mine. I had never felt so content and happy before. He was everything I could have ever hoped for and just as important was the fact that he felt the same about me.

Edward held me close and when I looked at him my heart swelled. "Beautfiul, the things I'm going to do to you tonight are probably illegal in some states."

I snorted in response. "I'm looking forward to it, my federale." It was, after all, only fitting that I use the Spanish term for him.

I was having the time of my life with my closest friends and the man that I knew I would love forever. I was ever thankful and looked to the ceiling to give thanks for something that most people waited their whole lives to find. There was no way I was going to fuck this up.

In a crowded club with Esme's terrible Spanish echoing in the background, I took a deep breath and savored the moment; it truly was perfect, and I was a very lucky girl.

**a/n: First of all I never anticipated writing a full blown story that people would actually read. I thank all of you for giving this story a chance when there are so many to choose from. I can't tell you how much it means to get an email telling me someone added it to their favorites, alerts, and especially reviews. I've loved hearing from you, and would love to hear from those of you reading, but have never reviewed. **

**Pam B., Sammielynnsmom and Dinx have reviewed every single chapter and deserved a place in the story. In fact everyone that reviewed every chapter has been mentioned in one way or another. **

**To my TwiFicTrivia family: you girls (and p1mp) are awesome and I'm so glad I've gotten to hang out with you on Tuesdays! (9PM est. on Twitter)**

**Thanks to IndieFicPimp, TwiFicPromotions, and TwilightFanfictionAddicts for promoting Agent 00hot.**

**Maxandmo on Twitter and Maxandmo Fanfcition on FB**

**I truly thank you for taking this journey with me. I'll be back, I'm just not exactly sure when:)**


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